“What the hell happened?” Devin leaned back against the edge of one of the benches in the infirmary. He’d been gone a couple of hours and had returned to face a shitstorm he neither understood nor wanted to.

“Fuck it.” Jack slammed his hand on the table as he struggled to free the wheel of his chair from where he had struck the table leg. With a grunt, he fought to reverse from his wedged position.

Devin went to help, but received a warning glare, which had him backing up with his hands raised. He was in no mood for another argument. “Whatever, man.” He jumped to sit on the bench. Rubbing his face, he took long, slow breaths. Things were starting to fall apart and he wasn’t sure if he or any of them had what it would take to pull them back from the edge. Through tired eyes, Devin looked around the sterile room. The space had become a haven for anyone who had a medical or science background, including his sister.

“How are you doing?” Emily said in a low voice. She placed her hand on Devin’s shoulder, narrowing her eyes as she listened to Jack curse his way to freedom.

“I’m fine.” Devin stiffened under her touch.

“Still a terrible liar.” Emily might have been blind, but where Devin was concerned she could see through his controlled façade. Emily kept her hand on his shoulder as she felt her way around the bench to stand in front of him. “I know things aren’t exactly going right for us at the moment—”

“Understatement, sis.”

“I don’t know everything that’s gone on.” Emily slowly ran her hand down Devin’s arm and wrapped her fingers around his wrist. “But you’ll fix it. You always do.” She leaned toward him.

Devin turned his arm so he could squeeze her fingers. He leaned forward too, touching his forehead to Emily’s. He wished it was as simple as she made it sound. “I don’t think I can. Not this time.” He breathed in deeply and closed his eyes as Emily pressed her other hand to his jaw. “I don’t know how.”

I’m on the edge. But before he could fall right there, Emily pressed a kiss to his cheek.

Devin opened his eyes.

“You’ll find a way,” she said and smiled.

How did she still have such faith in him?

His gaze fell on the loose clothes she wore over her stomach. Emily was almost six months into her pregnancy and Devin was scared. He was scared for his sister and her baby. There were no hospitals or help if something went wrong. Nor could they simply step out to go get diapers or formula from the store as they needed them.

How did Emily hope to protect and provide for something so fragile and small?

Though Emily had offered Devin strength with her words, he couldn’t do the same for her. He wasn’t sure he knew how to.

Devin’s silence seemed to unsettle Emily and she released his hand. Straightening, she cleared her throat, focusing on her fiancé. “Finished your tantrum?” With her hands on her hips, she looked in Jack’s direction. “Jack?”

“Yes.” Jack rested his hands in his lap. He twitched his nose, grunting as it hurt. “I’m done.”

Emily must have noted the discomfort in Jack’s voice. She switched her attention to Devin. “I’m just going to save time and ask you. How bad is it?” She pointed over her shoulder in Jack’s direction.

“Fist to the face, nose to be precise. It stopped bleeding, but he has a cut across the bridge of his nose,” he relayed the details with the efficiency he had learned in the army. Meeting Jack’s eyes, he gave an apologetic shrug.

Emily had it right. Though Jack had agreed to Devin taking him to Emily, he would protest he was perfectly fine so as not to worry her. After all, he was supposed to be the one looking out for her.

“I’ll go get something to clean him up.”

Devin watched Emily cross the room, then turned to Jack. “So, are you going to tell me what went down while I was away?”

Stiffly, Jack spun his chair around. “Didn’t you hear? We’re all fucked.”

“You can’t say that for sure.” Devin glanced to the floor, regretting not being able to find the strength to back up what he was saying. “We’ve come too far to give up.”

“Is that you or Noah talking?” Jack tensed his jaw.

“Does it matter?”

Jack snorted a laugh. “I can’t decide if he’s a good influence on you or not.”

A small smile teased the corner of Devin’s mouth. “He is annoyingly optimistic.” Or he had been. The loss of Chicago was a major blow to everyone. Up until today, Noah had held onto that small shred of hope he would help fix the world.

Devin worried his lip as he thought. “What do you want to do?” He hooked his fingers under the edge of the bench, and pressed his fingernails into the soft wooden underside. “You know I have your back no matter what you decide.”

Indecision was weighing heavily on Jack’s shoulders. Devin knew it, could see it. But he also knew there was no simple solution.

Jack lowered his head. “If it was just me I’d say the hell with them, but it’s not just about me is it? All those people, this place, we need Conroy and his men if we want to continue to protect them.”

“So, what? You’re going to give into their demands and pass out what’s left of the alcohol and candy bars?” It might not have sat right with Devin, but if that was the route Jack chose, he would make good on his promise to support him.

“Candy bars?” Emily placed a first aid box on the bench beside Devin.

“Jonas and his team,” Jack said.

“Still demanding their little extras?”

Devin rested his hand on his sister’s shoulder. “They’re threatening to take their share and leave.”

“And go where, exactly?” She tensed her shoulders under Devin’s touch. “What’s changed?” Her voice held suspicion, but from the look on her face she had figured it out for herself. “This is because of Chicago, right?” She huffed. “We should be pulling together, not tearing each other apart.” She ran her fingers over the lid of the first aid kit. A brief silence engulfed the room. “Let them go,” she said in the end.

“Em.” Devin touched the back of her hand.

“No. I’m sick of people only being out for themselves. If they don’t see what they’ve got here, I say screw them, because we don’t need their poison.”

Nobody said anything for a moment, until Jack wheeled his chair forward. “Come here.” He held out his hand and waited.

Emily reached out in turn, seeking Jack as she stepped forward. Devin watched, gratitude tightening in his chest as Jack pulled Emily down to sit in his lap and wrapped his arms around her. His thoughts strayed to Noah and how he must have been feeling. He wouldn’t have said it, but Devin knew he would be reeling from the news of Chicago having fallen.

You walked away and left him. Guilt rose from his gut as Devin remembered the look in Noah’s eyes.

Noah understands. Devin stared at the floor. He should let Jack and Emily have their moment. He pushed off the bench. There was one thing he wanted to know first. “The family I came in with. Did Hank bring them to you?”

Emily nodded. “They’re being checked over with the people Lukas had with him.”

“The boy?”

“It’s too early to say.” Color left her cheeks as her expression changed. “But it’s not good.”

Devin tensed his jaw. “I’ll look in on them later.” There were things that needed doing. The world didn’t stop, no matter how hard the blow of Chicago was.

Jack rested his chin on Emily’s shoulder. “Where are you going?”

“I need to check in with Hank.” In some small, selfish way he was thankful for the never-ending crap being thrown at them on a daily basis. It kept his mind busy and off what he had already lost.

“We’ll talk later,” he said to Jack. He headed for the door.

Chicago had never been about the there and then. Instead, it had been about the future. Of one day finding a true cure for the nightmare that would mean the survival of the human race.

But, as far as Devin was concerned, there were more immediate problems—food, safety, and making it to tomorrow.

* * *

Noah stirred his spoon in the watery soup. Kerry sat opposite him. She hadn’t said a word since the aggrieved parties had gone their separate ways. “Are you okay?” She seemed shaky, unnerved. Noah didn’t know what else to say. He knew she had been strong following the death of her son barely two months ago. She’d had to be. Life went on, as did the nightmare.

A tense silence enveloped them as Kerry met his gaze. The usual brightness of her emerald-green eyes was gone and the threatening tears had left her gaze glassy. One wrong word and Noah was afraid he might break her.

“It’s okay to not be okay. If you want to talk or anything.” He shouldn’t press. He wasn’t sure he had reaffirmed his people skills enough to deal with a grieving mother.

Kerry blew out a heavy breath and folded her arms across her chest. “There’s nothing to talk about.” She gazed at the ceiling, blinking as she struggled to hold back her tears. “And if you keep talking to me, you’re going to have a crying woman on your hands.” She ran her finger under her eye.

Noah released the spoon and pushed the bowl to the center of the table. “I’m sorry.”

Nodding, Kerry pressed her lips firmly together. Her face contorted as she broke down. Her pain gave way to anger. “Lee died for them. Died to put food on this table.” She prodded the tabletop. “Grown men hiding while my baby was out there.” She took a shaky breath as the first tear rolled down her cheek. “It’s not fair.”

“No. It’s not.” Noah’s thoughts went to his kid sister.

“I blame them.” She looked at him through her wet lashes. “But I also blame myself. I should have kept him safe. I should have kept him here and close. I should have never let him pick up a gun. I should have told him, no.” Her voice was uneven, and she wiped at her cheeks. With a nervous laugh, she shook her head. “I’m being silly.”

“No you’re not.” Noah got off his seat and walked around the table to sit beside her. “And it’s not your fault.”

“He was a kid. My kid.”

Noah hesitantly reached out to take her hand in his. He had heard about Kerry’s son. Devin had spoken of him, expressed the guilt he felt for the boy’s death. “He was sixteen, a young man. I know it doesn’t make it right or hurt any less, but he wanted to be part of the solution. He knew his way around a gun and wanted to protect people. Protect you. He was very brave, and you should be proud to have had a son like that.”

A sad smile curled the corner of Kerry’s mouth. “I am. You should have seen him when he was told he was going outside. He was scared, yeah, but also so proud, so grateful to be chosen and treated like a man. He just wanted to be out there helping.” She sniffed back the tears, and pressed her hand to her mouth, taking a moment. “He wanted to be like Devin.” Seeking comfort, she squeezed her hand around Noah’s. “Lee had a lot of respect for Devin. The closest thing to a father my boy had had in a long time. He’s a good man, you know?”

Noah squeezed her hand in return. “He is.”

Taking a deep breath, Kerry sat up and pulled her hand from Noah’s. “Well, that was fun.” She laughed awkwardly as she wiped at her face. “You better not tell Devin you caught me crying. He’ll think I’m an idiot.”

Kerry was anything but an idiot.

“I won’t tell,” Noah said. “Our secret.” He glanced toward the open door. Where was Devin? He had left with Jack and Lukas shortly after everyone had agreed to walk away. Noah couldn’t believe Devin would agree to let Jonas and his men leave, but then, what could Devin do? He couldn’t force them to stay and this wasn’t the army. Devin wasn’t a commanding officer able to order them to stand firm or send them outside the gates on runs. Jack, with Devin’s help, might have been organizing everyone in their roles and duties for the last seven weeks, but they were far from in control or were the group’s new leaders, and they didn’t claim to be.

He offered Kerry a supportive smile. “I’m going to go find him,” he said of Devin. “Will you be all right?”

Plastering on a smile, Kerry nodded. “Of course. You know me. I always bounce back.” She tucked a long curl of her hair behind her ear.

“Okay.” Noah eyed her thoughtfully. “Okay.” He got to his feet, leaning forward to kiss her on the top of the head. “We’ll all get through this.” He spoke into her hair, kneading the back of her neck, before pulling away.

Her eyes shone brightly as she gazed up at him. “Yeah,” Kerry agreed in a low voice. “Everything is going to be fine.” She cleared her throat. “Now go find your man. You can tell him I don’t appreciate being ditched for a younger model.”

“I’ll tell him.” Noah grinned. With a duck of his head, he turned and headed for the door. He wasn’t sure where to start his search for Devin. He just knew he wanted to be near him. After talking to Kerry, and remembering his own family, he knew it was important to be with the people you loved. He might be called crazy or foolish, but he did love Devin. Devin made him feel safe, and a simple look from him had Noah’s heart leaping in his chest and his stomach performing somersaults. After everything he had been through, everything Devin had been through, they deserved comfort, friendship, and a little love, right?