Chapter Eighteen
After sending Gabby another text that would probably go unanswered just like all the rest he’d sent in the last three days, Jake dropped onto his living room couch and stared at the empty bookcase. What was it Gabby had called him? A minimalist?
Or was he just uninterested in his own life? Everyone had told him he worked too much. Needed hobbies, to take vacations, rekindle friendships. Or, maybe he was better off alone?
He closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the couch. The tortured look on Gabby’s face outside the police station was tattooed on his eyelids every time he closed them. He hadn’t been thinking when he’d run after her father, shouting out his name to make him stop before a bullet could stop him. He’d just reacted. His job was to save lives and protect the public. That’s what he’d done. DI Edwards had thanked him profusely afterward for his quick actions. He hadn’t thought of anything but putting a stop to the string of people dying in the cemetery. He’d done the right thing, but in the process, he’d hurt the one person he loved.
Dammit.
Gabby must hate him. He’d made her a promise and then broken it. Why did he do this to himself? Ruin everything good in his life. He’d done it to his marriage, and now he’d messed everything up with Gabby, too. It was if his subconscious knew he wasn’t good enough for Gabby, and that she’d figure that out one day and leave him. So his warped mind showed him the best way to screw up the best relationship he’d ever had. Rather than wait to be hurt when she dumped him first.
Why he kept letting his crappy childhood and screwed-up parents dictate his feelings of self-worth was beyond him. But no more. Gabby had been right. She’d told him the best way to move on would be to become a better person than his parents had been. And he was. If his past didn’t bother Gabby, then he needed to let it go. Stop letting his deep fear of people he loved leaving him run his life. The department shrinks had told him that was his problem time and time again, and why he pushed people away by hiding behind work and sarcasm.
But did Gabby really believe what she’d said outside the police station in London? That they could never be together because of her father? That a cop with such a strict sense of right and wrong would never be able to share a life with her?
Gabby said her father had given up the life of crime. Until he shot Garza the other day. But maybe what Gabby said was true. Her father might have been simply protecting her, not exacting revenge on an enemy. Who was he to say which killed Garza first? The knife or the bullet. He and Moretti were equally responsible for Garza’s death, and yet her father was in jail, and Jake had gotten a pat on the back. There was no way to be sure Moretti even saw the knife before her father fired that shot. He had been yards away and behind Garza. In Moretti’s shoes, Jake would’ve done the exact same thing.
Could he live with having Moretti in his life? The man’s past crimes went against every moral fiber in Jake’s body. Could he be okay knowing Gabby had daily contact with her father? That he still influenced her life?
But Gabby didn’t want that life anymore. And she wasn’t anything like her father. She was the most forgiving, bighearted, loving person he’d ever met. She wanted to live a normal life, so she was contemplating disappearing again and starting over. He had to show her how sorry he was for hurting her before she left for good. That he’d do anything to gain her forgiveness.
Anything.
But what could he do?
He couldn’t change Moretti, but he could change himself. Being a police officer had been his way to show the world that he wasn’t like his parents. That he believed in justice. Maybe it was time to stop trying so hard to prove that and focus on the one person who gave him so much more than self-worth. Gabby made him happy, feel alive for the first time, like a whole person, not a damaged one. So there was only one thing to do. He’d quit his job. Take the barrier between him and Gabby away. That is, if she’d ever forgive him.
No time like the present.
He stood and found his keys on the kitchen counter and then headed out to the garage. As he backed out of his driveway, a million thoughts raced through his mind. What if quitting wasn’t enough? What if Gabby still wouldn’t take him back? He needed to make a living. But there were other ways to do that.
He’d hated giving up his badge for a month. The thought of giving it up for good made his gut ache. But there was no other way. He had to show Gabby he was willing to give up what mattered most to him, so they could be together.
As he drove to the station he rubbed his chest where he’d had a physical ache that had just grown worse every day since London. He was doing the right thing.
After checking in at the front desk at the station, he was told to wait in Lieutenant Hernandez’s office. Jake made his way through the busy squad room and to the coffee bar. He poured himself a cup of courage and then walked the last few yards to his boss’s office. He sat in one of the guest chairs in front of Hernandez’s desk.
He was ready to do it. To end the career he’d worked so hard for. He sucked in a deep breath as he waited for the ax to fall. His boss’s voice mails the past few days had shown how angry he was. He’d heard all about the statues, London, and Moretti’s capture and wasn’t happy that Jake hadn’t returned his calls. Maybe he was going to be fired.
The heavy clomp of shoes behind him made Jake sit up straighter. He smiled at his boss as he circled his desk and slammed his big body into the chair.
“Hey, Lieutenant. How are you?”
“Dammit, Morris. What part didn’t you understand about being on administrative leave?” Lieutenant Hernandez’s neck muscles bulged. Never a good sign. Probably didn’t help that Jake had ignored his LT’s calls for four days.
“It wasn’t planned. It just happened.” He took a long pull from the sludge that passed for coffee at his station.
The LT stood, shoving his chair so hard it hit the credenza behind him. “Don’t give me that load of BS. You had a cell phone.” Hernandez stomped around his desk and got in Jake’s face. “I should fire your ass.”
Jake swallowed back the temper rising in his throat. “You can’t. Because I’m here to quit.”
Hernandez blinked in confusion. “You’re what?”
“I’m quitting. You were always on me to get a personal life. Now that I have one, I don’t want to lose it because of the job again.”
His boss closed his eyes and ran a hand down his face. After a moment of jaw clenching, he said, “You don’t mean that. Something’s been screwing with your head the last year or so. Even your partner agrees you lost your edge since your divorce.”
“My divorce had nothing to do with anything.” It’d been Dani’s woo-woo dreams that had helped him be the top dog. Close more cases than anyone else. But he was still a good cop. “I just helped catch the most wanted man in America, for God’s sake. That doesn’t count for anything?” It should have been something to be proud of, but he’d hurt Gabby by doing it, so it didn’t feel like an accomplishment. It felt more like a mistake.
His boss growled. “There were better ways to go about that.”
“I understand, Lieutenant. But isn’t it still our job to put criminals behind bars? To keep the public safe? That’s all I was doing.”
“Really? That was your only motivation?” Hernandez circled behind his desk again and sat. “You weren’t trying to prove me wrong by doing this behind my back? Thought you could show up in my office with Moretti’s head on a platter and make everything all better?”
“I saw Gabby needed help, and that became my number one priority. But your doubt in me was unfounded. I understand having to be placed on leave for a shooting, but haven’t they figured out by now that I saved the lives of that woman and child?”
Hernandez huffed out a breath. “Yes. But when the job becomes the only focus, when you have nothing but the job to come home to, it messes with a cop’s head. Things start to crack and fall apart. Bad decisions are made. I’ve seen it too many times to count. I didn’t want you to quit. Just take a break and get your head on straight.”
“My head is in perfect alignment now. Because there’s someone more important than the job. Gabby Knight.”
The LT’s brow furrowed in disbelief. “The statue girl?”
“Yep.” He smiled as the weight of the world lifted from his shoulders. It felt right to quit. “She makes me want to be a better version of myself. But she lives in DC. I’m going to see if I can get a job there. Then try however long it takes to make things right between us, because I screwed everything up for this job. I need to show her that she’s more important than my being a cop.”
Hernandez lifted a hand. “Hold up. Rather than quit over a woman you’ve known such a short time, take the rest of your leave. See if you can fix things with Gabby. Then, first of next month, we’ll talk.”
It appeared his boss hadn’t been hell-bent on firing him after all. Jake stood and held out a hand. “I appreciate the second chance. But I won’t need it.”
Hernandez returned the handshake. “As much as I don’t want to lose you, I’d like to see you happy, Jake. Your badge has been reinstated. You can have it and your gun. Just in case Moretti decides to retaliate. Can’t send you out there with no protection. Take them at least until the end of the month. Then we’ll process you out.” He opened a desk drawer and drew out Jake’s beloved badge and gun. “Good luck.”
He’d take all the good luck he could get. But he wouldn’t take his things back, even though he’d felt naked without them. “No thanks. I’ll be fine. Take care, Lieutenant.”
His boss frowned. “You too, Jake. Are you sure about this—”
“Yeah.” Jake turned and headed for the door. Hernandez didn’t know who Gabby’s father was. Giving up police work altogether was the price he’d gladly pay to have Gabby.
He’d miss police work. But he’d be willing to kiss it good-bye for her.
Until he could get Gabby to return his calls or texts, though, he didn’t stand much of a chance with her. Would a text telling her he’d quit his job be enough? Was she even reading the texts he’d sent? His new hurdle was to find a way to talk to her.
As he made his way through the beehive of cubicles at the station, waving to his now former coworkers, a thought hit him. Dani said she’d seen things in her dream he hadn’t let her reveal. He’d stop by her nearby office and see if she’d like to go to lunch. And help him win Gabby back.
Gabby sat on a high stool in front of her workbench at the museum, staring across the quiet lab rather than working on the new pottery shards that had come in the day before. She’d been back for five days, but her jet lag still managed to linger. Or maybe it was depression. Hard to tell.
Reaching into her lab-coat pocket, she grabbed the fake passport she’d carried with her every day since she’d been back in the States. It was her promise to herself, or hope, that her life could get better.
She opened the booklet and stared at the woman with red hair that she’d been only months before. Dean had shot that picture of her at work. They’d just discovered the whereabouts of the buried Son statue, and Dean had asked her to stand in front of the plain background to take her picture for the museum’s website. He’d said he planned to write an article and wanted to give her proper credit. Little did she know it’d all been part of his big scheme to steal her away to Peru with him. The thought sent a shudder up her spine. Looking back, she’d seen little cracks in his personality that she’d passed off as eccentricity. She’d never do that again.
She went back to studying her expression on the passport’s page. She’d had a big smile, and her eyes crinkled a bit at the corners with excitement over finding the matching artifact to one of their bigger attractions upstairs. Had it really taken so little to make her light up like that? Had she been happy before the statue went missing? Was she so used to the bubble her father had created for her to live in that an ancient artifact could put a twinkle of joy in her eyes?
Pathetic, really. Especially because now she knew what feeling truly happy and free had been like. If only for a few days.
Shaking her head, she put the passport in her pocket and turned her attention to the pottery before her. Using a small brush, she methodically swiped away bits of debris to get to the treasure below.
The intercom on her phone interrupted her musings. “Gabby? There’s someone named Suzy here to see you. Want me to escort her back?”
“Yes, please.” Why would her aunt show up unexpectedly? She’d never even visited the museum before. Maybe it was news about her father?
She quickly hopped off her stool and washed her hands in the utility sink. Her aunt’s voice could be heard long before her arrival. “You looka like you hungry. I gotta the best cookies ever in here. You eat. Tell me how you like.”
Gabby smiled. Abe the guard was a tall, skinny man about her aunt’s age. Her aunt felt like it was her duty to feed anyone she met. Especially if they were thin.
After Abe left with his cookies, Suzy wrapped Gabby up in a viselike hug. “Been so long I don’t see you I forget what you looka like.”
Gabby withheld an eye roll. She’d only missed dinner with her aunt the last two nights. “I’m sorry, Zietta. But I wouldn’t have made good company anyway.”
Suzy released Gabby but held her at arm’s length. Her gaze traveled up and down Gabby’s body. “You too skinny, and you eyes are sad. You worry your papa is going to start do bad things again? To Jake?”
Gabby didn’t know if she could trust the deal her father had made with her. If she stayed away from Jake, her father would spare Jake’s life. She wasn’t allowed to have any further contact with him. Not that she wanted to see him again. She was still so angry with Jake, but she wanted him alive, so she’d agreed to the deal. She feared her father had nothing to lose, now that he was in jail and his threat might be real. “I’m afraid Jake won’t listen. When I texted the terms of the deal to him, he wrote back and said he needed to see me. To apologize. And beg if he had to.”
Suzy smiled. “Jake the type to beg, is he?”
“Not at all.” Gabby shook her head. “He can actually be kind of arrogant sometimes.” And pushy. And flirty. But oddly, that never bothered her. He was just covering emotions when he acted like that.
“Arrogant? Hmmmm.” Suzy moved things around on Gabby’s desk and started setting out lunch. “So he only think of himself?”
“Well, no. He raised his brother after their parents died. Made sure he turned out honest and hardworking. And he helped me when I needed it most.”
“So he might do these things out of duty? Because he a cop?”
Her aunt pulled out fresh-baked bread from her bag. It made Gabby’s mouth water. “Maybe. I don’t know.” Jake was a complicated mess, and it made her want to cry every time she thought about him. It’d been easier to push him out of her mind, rather than analyze the man and his motives.
Her aunt cut off a hunk of bread and laid it on Gabby’s plate. “I see on the TV Jake a handsome man, good smile, but he must have a bad heart if you no want to see him anymore?”
“No, that’s not it.” Gabby sat in her desk chair and dug into the antipasto her aunt had placed in front of her. “Jake isn’t a bad person. He’s actually a very good person. He just won’t allow himself to believe it.” She wasn’t going to talk about his charming smile. It was sad to think she’d never see it again. “But he broke a promise, and you know I don’t abide by that. And not just any promise. Dad’s in jail because of it. And me.”
Suzy sat in the guest chair and dug into her lunch, too. “Jake hurt you feelings because you think he care for you. Someone care for you, they no lie.”
“Exactly!” Gabby took a bite of bread and sighed. “He told me himself he wasn’t cut out to be a good boyfriend or husband. Turns out he was right.”
Suzy’s brow furrowed. “But sometimes we make a promises we no can keep. Like when I tell you uncle I never shoot no one. No matter what happen. He tell me he’d never forgive himself if I arrested because of him.”
Gabby laid down her fork. “You shot that guy in self-defense. They broke into your home to kill your husband. You were trying to save my uncle’s life.”
“Is true.” Suzy nodded as she chewed. “You know, you papa told me what happen in the park that day. When he get caught. A lot happen very fast. Maybe you let Jake tell you his side of story. Or, just let him beg a little. Fun to see men beg, no?”
“It won’t change anything. Dad was right. He told me nothing could ever come of a relationship with a cop. I mean, we’re guarded at home by felons, and we have some sort of lethal weapon in every closet. I don’t even know if my car was bought legally.”
When Suzy started to reply, Gabby held up her hand. “Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.” She took another bite and then pushed her plate away. She’d lost her appetite. Again. She hadn’t finished a whole meal in a week.
Suzy reached out and squeezed Gabby’s hand. “Where my happy Gabby go? I no like to see you like this. You make me worry.”
The tears welling in her aunt’s eyes made Gabby’s water, too. “I’ll get over it. I’ve gotten over worse things before, right?”
Her aunt’s smile was filled with sadness. Or maybe pity. “You have more bad things happen than is fair. But maybe this time different? Maybe this time you find way to fix things?”
Gabby closed her eyes to hold back the tears that wanted to drip down her cheeks. The lump that had formed in her throat made it difficult to speak. “Face it, Zietta. Dad hates Jake for what he did. Even if I could ever forgive him, Dad will never allow me to be with him. It’s why after everything is settled in the courts I have to go away. Forever. It’s the only way I’ll ever have my own life.”
Her aunt whispered, “I know. My heart will miss you every day, amore. Until its very last beat.”
The idea of her aunt dying without Gabby even knowing because she’d be gone sent a dagger through Gabby’s already broken heart. She’d miss her family every day, too, until her very last heartbeat.
Maybe by then, she will have gotten over Jake, too.