Deja pulled the blanket around her shoulders and positioned herself a little better on the couch. A nice Sunday afternoon watching the Twins play was just what she needed. She wished Emmett could enjoy it with her, but after spending all day yesterday helping rebuild part of the corral, he needed to work today for a client who didn’t mind he rescheduled yesterday for today.
Of course, most people didn’t mind. Not when Emmett called and used his sweet, charming voice to persuade them. Kind of like he was doing with her.
When he dropped her off at home, kissing her like it was the last time he would see her, she almost asked for the ring back. Almost. The fear held her back. Like always. She wanted to kick herself repeatedly for even taking the thing off. Serves her right for acting like an idiot. He loved her. She saw it in everything he said and did. She just had to accept it. Believe it wholeheartedly.
A loud thump sounded.
Turning towards the foyer, her eyes darted immediately to the bag lying by Dare’s feet. Slowly trailing upward, she met his gaze. No words came to mind. What could she say? Her brother was abandoning her. She didn’t think he’d actually do it. The bag lying on the floor said otherwise.
“It’s not what you think.”
“Really? Because it looks like you’re leaving.” She turned away, her eyes glued to the TV like she cared. Suddenly, she didn’t anymore. The Twins were winning, but all she felt was heartbreak.
The couch dipped.
“D, listen to me.”
“Just leave, Dare.”
Deja tried to pull away when he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Using his free hand, he rubbed his knuckles over her head, laughing. “Don’t laugh. I know you don’t wanna.”
Swatting at his hand, she pressed her lips together to hold back her laughter, refusing to let him lighten the mood. “Knock it off, you butthead.”
He ruffled her head again. “Tell me you love me.”
Unable to hold in the giggles, she let loose. “You’re a moron.”
Squeezing her tightly into his side, he sighed. “Yeah, but you love me, right?”
“I do.” Gazing at him, her smile turned into a frown. “Why is your bag on the floor?”
“You’re my sister. I love you. I will until the day I die—but I need to work through my shit. I don’t think I can do it living here.”
“Where are you going? Please don’t leave, Dare. I won’t bother you. I promise.”
“I’m not going far, D. Don’t worry. Ethan offered me his spare room.”
Deja leaned away, raising a brow. “Seriously? You’re going to live with Ethan.”
“He’s not so bad. The McCords seem like decent people. Emmett loves you. I see you’re not wearing the ring he gave you.”
She lifted her hand, fingering the bare spot. “I gave it back. I…I need to work through my shit, too.” She tipped her lips up into a lopsided grin. “We’re something else, uh?”
“He’s good for you. I can’t believe you broke into someone’s home, but I guess you hit the right one.” Dare chuckled, shaking his head. “Don’t do anything that stupid again, do you hear me?”
Resting her head on his shoulder, she laughed with him. “I like when you act like a big brother. I missed this. Promise you won’t leave for good? I don’t think I’d be able to handle it.”
He kissed the top of her head. “You have my word.”
“Are you leaving now?”
“Na, I thought I’d watch the game with you first. What do you say?”
“I like that idea.”
Deja wasn’t thrilled about him leaving, but she understood. He needed time to himself. To assimilate back into society. Back into her life. Pushing her away the last ten years had taken its toll. He obviously needed to ease his way back in. As long as he didn’t leave for good, she’d take whatever he was willing to offer.
She didn’t want to lose her brother again.
♡
Emmett showered as quickly as he could, then hopped out and dressed. He grabbed his duffle bag from the top shelf in his closet and shoved a couple sets of clothes inside with some toiletries.
Maybe he was being a little too presumptuous, but oh well. When it came to Deja, he needed to continue to stay strong and in her face. If he gave her too much time to think, she’d pull away from him even more.
He was slowly making progress, even after his fumbling by insisting she marry him without asking. He had no idea what possessed him to do that, but he didn’t regret it. Although, a little planning would’ve been helpful. He couldn’t change anything now. He’d just have to convince her to put the ring back on her finger. Which meant he couldn’t give her too much space.
He zipped the duffle bag closed and locked up his house, the ring nestled snugly in his pocket. He wanted to be prepared for the moment when she changed her mind. She had to change her mind. He loved her too much to lose her.
After a long day of hard work clearing out a client’s yard that was overgrown with too many weeds, he was ready for some fun with Deja. The client neglected their property for too long. Those jobs were the worst, but he always found peace in that kind of work. Especially today. The more he exerted himself, the easier it was to get his frustration out.
Dare also eased some of it. He called an hour ago explaining he’d be staying with Ethan for a while. Deja needed him. Emmett had every intention of seeing Deja tonight regardless, but Dare’s phone call made it even better. They’d have the house to themselves. It would’ve been a little awkward spending the night with Dare in the house, but he would’ve done it.
He didn’t ask why Dare decided to stay with his brother, but did thank him for the heads up. They didn’t get along when they first met, but now it was like they were friends. He preferred it that way. If—no—when he married Deja, he wanted Dare to accept him. Getting on his bad side would be the worst thing.
Thirty minutes later, Emmett parked in her driveway. With a quick knock, he repositioned the containers in his hand while he waited for her to answer.
The door swung open.
Sadness mingled with happiness shined at him. He grinned as he lifted the Chinese food in his hands. “I bought your favorites.”
She nodded to the duffle bag. “And what’s that?”
“Well, we haven’t had a sleepover in a long time…”
“We had one last night.” Her brow rose in defiance.
“Not really. We didn’t even play spin the bottle.” He produced a pout, his signature one, and tried his hardest not to laugh when a hand went to her hip to go with her stern look.
“Are we going to play truth or dare as well?”
“Of course. We’re going to stay up late, too. It’s not a sleepover unless you do.” He poured a little more poutiness into his expression until she finally cracked a grin.
“Get in here. I’m starving.” She held open the door.
Emmett stepped in, tossed his bag near the stairs and headed for the kitchen where he laid the containers on the table. He grabbed some plates from the cupboard while she grabbed some drinks for them.
Converging to the table at the same time, Emmett set the plates down and quickly pulled her into his arms before she could walk away.
“I missed you.”
She rolled her eyes. “It hasn’t been that long.”
Kissing her lips, lingering for a deep one, he pulled her against his body. She always fit so perfectly.
“Long enough.” He placed a light kiss upon her nose. “Dare called me. How are you?”
“Fine.”
Brushing a hand down her hair and onto her back, he kissed her lips one more time. “Let’s try that again. How are you?”
Biting her bottom lip, she said nothing. Just as suddenly, she tucked her head between his neck and shoulder. A shudder rippled through her. “I know he needs his space. I honestly get it. It still hurts.”
Rubbing her back up and down, he tried to soothe her as best as he could. “Kinda how you need your space from me. Am I coming on too strong? I don’t mean to.”
Tightening her arms around him, she placed a soft kiss against his neck. “I like you right where you are.”
“Good.” He kissed the side of her head and then gently pulled her back. “Let’s eat before I toss the food to the floor and have my wicked way with you on the table.”
A dangerous gleam entered her eyes. “I like the sound of that.”
He laughed. “Me, too. A little too much. Food first, ravishing second. Because I know how much you hate cold Chinese food. I’ll never forget the tantrum you threw when we worked late that one night and the food got cold.”
Taking a seat across from him, she pursed her lips. “I do not throw tantrums. I don’t pout like you do.”
“You do throw tantrums. And you’re oh so adorable when you do.” He winked, earning a death glare worthy of a threat to get her tire iron. “Like now. So damn beautiful.”
“Sock it, E-man. Eat your food.”
He started to scoop some food onto his plate, debating his words. If they were going to have a relationship, one that would last, they needed to be honest with each other. They had to work through their issues.
“Why do you always deflect compliments? You’re beautiful. I’m going to say it as often as I can.”
Her brows dipped, yet, she didn’t say anything.
Nodding at her silence, he knew when to retreat. For now, anyway. “We’re playing truth or dare later.”
Lifting her eyes, she stared at him questioningly. “Oh, yeah? Why’s that?”
“Because you have to at a sleepover.” He grinned, a sweet grin. “And maybe you’ll actually talk to me.”
She dropped her eyes to the food on her plate, tossing the fork around, yet scooping none of it up. “I’m scared, Emmett. I don’t do talking well.”
Reaching for her hand, he lifted it gently and kissed her. “Me neither. But I hate the pain in your eyes. Let me take it away.”
She slowly raised her gaze to him. “I’m not sure it’s possible.”
Kissing her hand again, he smiled tenderly. “Yes, it is. I’m going to prove it to you. Because I love you.”
Her frown slowly turned into a small smile. Hope, for the first time, rose within his heart. Before now, he had been deathly afraid she’d never open up to him. The look in her eyes said otherwise.
That’s all that mattered. He’d do anything to take that tormented look in her eyes away. Anything.
♡
The bag dropped to the floor with a loud thud. Dare glanced around the room, appreciating the simplicity of it. A big queen size bed took up the middle of the room. A plain brown dresser stood against the wall near the window. The closet door stood open, a few large jackets hanging, otherwise empty. No knickknacks. No pictures on the walls. Just simple. The way he liked it. Wanted it. It reminded him of his cell.
Wasn’t that interesting? Shit. Not what he wanted to think about, yet, here he was thinking how he missed the simplicity of his cell. He didn’t hang shit on the wall there. Didn’t keep anything in his cell. On a rare occasion, he sometimes left a book in the room, reading it at a leisure pace. Even then, it felt like too much clutter.
Clutter. He could never keep his room clean. His mother had always nagged him about it. “Why can’t you be like your sister and keep your room clean?” He couldn’t count how many times he heard that from her.
Well, why couldn’t she act like a mother? Now she never could. Not anymore. Because of him.
It’s funny how he resorted to his bad habit in Deja’s house, leaving his clothes lying wherever he felt like tossing them. But here, he would keep it neat and clean. Just like he had the last ten years. He needed that structure. Otherwise, he’d go out of his mind.
He needed space. Telling Deja today he was leaving tore his heart out just like the first time he left her ten years ago. Seeing that look of devastation on her face—he couldn’t stand it. He also couldn’t stop it. Explaining why he needed his space was impossible. How did he explain he felt guilty as hell? That he could hurt her. He was nothing but a danger to her.
He killed their parents. Who knew when he’d end up hurting his sister? He couldn’t allow that to happen. Trying to explain that to her wouldn’t go well. She wouldn’t understand. He knew it. She’d just argue with him and tell him he didn’t know what he was talking about. It was an accident.
It was no damn accident. More like idiocy and selfishness. Plain and simple.
A knock sounded behind him.
“Yo, want a beer?”
Dare turned toward Ethan and nodded. “Yeah, I’ll be right out there.”
“Take your time.” Ethan grinned and walked away.
Dare had been surprised as hell when Ethan offered him one of his rooms. One minute he was half pouring his heart out about hurting his sister, the next minute Ethan was offering him a place to stay. Ethan just knew. He just knew he needed his space.
He knew his sister didn’t want him to drink. He saw the way she looked at him when they were at the farm yesterday. The piercing glare from her bore a hole in his stomach from the guilt of having a simple beer. What did she think would happen? He’d drink, get behind the wheel, and hurt someone else?
He laughed at the lunacy of that. Hell, he hadn’t been drunk that night. He had been high. Perhaps she thought drinking would lead him down the path of drugs. It wouldn’t. He’d kill himself before he touched one little drug ever again. Never again.
At least at Ethan’s house he could have a drink and not feel guilty as hell about it. He might feel an ounce of regret with the first swallow, but after that, he’d feel nothing but numbness.
Numb felt like a good feeling to him. Just wash all these horrible emotions away.
Dare walked out to the living room and swiped the extra beer from the coffee table before taking a seat on the couch.
“Get settled in?”
“Dude, I had one bag.”
Ethan touched the tip of the beer bottle to his lips. “True.”
“Thanks, man. I appreciate you letting me stay here for a while.”
“No prob. How’d Deja take it?” Ethan reached for his phone on the coffee table. “Maybe I should call Emmett to check on her.”
Dare smiled. His sister sure found a great family that cared about her. If he ever left for good—no. He wouldn’t leave. He told her he wouldn’t. He just had to work through this shit.
“I called him. He should be over there already.” He fiddled with the label on the bottle. “She wasn’t wearing the ring this morning. I felt bad for calling him, thinking maybe they got into a fight or something, but I did anyway. He’s good for her…even if he is an asshole sometimes.”
Ethan chuckled. “Aren’t we all assholes at some point?” His face fell somber. “Maybe I scared him into rushing things. Emmett was burned by a woman once and I rushed him into asking her to marry him. The same night he almost does, she confesses she cheated on him. Maybe I should stop trying to mess with his love life.”
Dare laughed, slapping his knee a little. “Shit, man. Maybe you should.”
Ethan gave him a cocky grin and shrugged. “Na, I don’t think I could if I tried.” His finger hovered over the phone. “You sure he was going over there? I know she’s your sister, but she feels like mine, too. I just want to make sure she’s okay. I hope she doesn’t hate me for offering you a room. I just—she wasn’t pissed at me, was she?”
“She wasn’t pissed. Emmett said he was planning to go over there regardless. She never made it home last night, so I imagine your brother is happy as a clam I won’t be there so he can spend the night. I didn’t ask why she didn’t have the ring. I don’t think she’d talk to me about it.”
“Too weird of a conversation, huh?”
Dare grinned deviously. “No. I’d kick Emmett’s ass if he hurt her. So if he did, she wouldn’t tell me, because she wouldn’t want me to hurt him.”
“Then I’d have to kick your ass for kicking his ass…could get awkward around here.”
Dare tapped his beer bottle with Ethan’s as they laughed together. “Better hope your brother doesn’t hurt my sister then.”
“Or the other way around. Not that I’d hit a girl…but Deja could end up hurting Emmett.”
“Yeah, we’re both messed up. It might happen.”
Ethan frowned as he eyed his phone again. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”