Why did she act that way?
Throwing herself at Emmett like a two-cent whore. Of course he didn’t want her. All those times she swore she saw desire in his eyes had been a delusion on her part. He didn’t want her.
Well, good. She wasn’t a slut. No matter how many times people called her that. She wasn’t a whore. There had been a few times in her life where things got to be so low she had no choice but to resort to things she didn’t wish she had to do. Breaking and entering was a fine example. But no matter how hard life had gotten she had never sold her body to a soul. Never. Still wouldn’t. God, Emmett would laugh at her if he knew the truth about her.
Stripping. Now that was different. She had been a stripper for two months. Worst two months of her life. Just another low she suffered. She decided breaking and entering to find cash for food was so much better than letting disgusting men ogle her. She felt dirty just thinking about it.
Why did she open her mouth? Why didn’t she fight him a little?
The silence in Emmett’s truck skewed her to the bone.
Murder.
One word. That shut Emmett’s mouth up pretty quickly. His face turned expressionless and almost cold-like. The kindness in his eyes had vanished. Just the reaction she expected. Did she still have a job? Who would want to employ a woman whose brother killed two people?
Walking out of the house without another word, intending on getting far enough away from him before calling a cab, she barely made it two feet before he gently grabbed her arm, his warm touch soothing, yet his eyes still cold, and said three simple words. “I’ll drive you.”
The drive was silent. All that talk from him about wanting to hear her problems, wanting to comfort her, wanting to be her friend—lies. Nothing but lies. Another typical man saying things just to shove it all in her face.
She honestly thought Emmett was a better man than that. She should’ve told him to go screw himself—again. He didn’t listen the first few times she said it. He probably wouldn’t have listened again and forcibly put her in his truck.
A sigh released when the precinct came into view. She needed air. Lots of it. Emmett pulled into the parking lot and shut the truck off.
“Thanks, E-man.” She scrambled out of the vehicle before he could utter one word. Not that he had anything left to say. His silence the entire ride said enough.
Her hand trembled as she grabbed for the door to the precinct. “Get your shit together, Deja. You can do this.” The shaking stopped. She wouldn’t—couldn’t—be afraid.
It wasn’t that she was afraid of her brother in a physical sense. She just didn’t know how much more she could take of him pushing her away. More tears wanted to fall thinking about it.
No more crying. She refused to shed another tear, especially after how dumb she looked crying on Emmett’s chest. Talk about looking pathetic. She hadn’t cried this much since her parents died and the police hauled Dare away.
Yanking open the door, she shuffled all of that away. That stuff didn’t matter. Trying to get Dare out of this horrible situation mattered.
She approached the front counter where a stern looking man with gray hair sat. She knew Ava well only because of Sophie. Besides that, she avoided anyone in law enforcement. That task could be difficult, especially since Ava worked in the crime lab, and whenever she had a party, she liked to invite people from her work. Deja rarely attended those parties. She wasn’t a fan of cops. Never had been. Not since the day two cops tore her world to pieces.
“Can I help you?” the officer asked with a slight annoyance in his tone.
Another good reason she didn’t like cops. Did he have to speak to her like that? Was it the way she looked? She was dressed decently, like a respectable citizen. That wasn’t always the case in her life.
Clenching her fists, a smart retort was on the tip of her tongue when a rough hand smoothed one of her fists out and laced his fingers with hers. She looked up into Emmett’s eyes. He still showed no expression. Why was he holding her hand?
“Hey, Greg, how’s your wife? She’s due any day now, isn’t she?” Emmett flashed a bright smile, to her surprise.
Of course, Emmett knew who he was. The entire McCord family knew every single cop in town. Hell, the chief of police was like their honorary uncle.
“She’s hanging in there. Stopped working about a week ago and pretty much keeps her feet up. Her back hurts a lot and it’s difficult to walk at times. I don’t know how Ava worked until she had the baby. I’m worried about Jan and she’s not even working now. I can’t imagine how Zane felt.” He laughed, yet the smile didn’t reach his eyes.
Deja studied him harder, finally noticing the tired wrinkles around his eyes, the worry lines creasing his forehead. Is that why he was so short with her? Because his mind was preoccupied with concern for his wife? It didn’t excuse his behavior, but it did make him a little more likable in her eyes. As long as his abruptness wasn’t because of her.
“What can I do for you?” Greg looked back and forth between the two.
“Ava called me. My brother…was arrested.” Deja couldn’t believe she hesitated. Where was her toughness? How come she didn’t sound brave? She didn’t need Emmett to see any more weakness from her.
He squeezed her hand. She refused to look at him. Was he honestly trying to comfort her? Why didn’t he do that in the truck?
Fake. His behavior was all fake. He was only offering her comfort now because they had an audience.
Trying not to make a scene, she yanked her hand out of his unobtrusively. She didn’t want his fake sympathy.
“She’s in the back. Let me give her a ring.” Greg suddenly eyed her warily, the distrust forming in his eyes.
There we go. That look appeared much more normal. Now he was back to judging her.
Less than a minute later, Ava rounded the corner, not even looking like she had a baby two months ago. Although, when it came to Ava, she didn’t slow down for anything. Deja learned that early on.
“Emmett, I didn’t expect to see you,” Ava said as a sly smile emerged. What was with the smile?
“I was having pie with Deja when you called. I offered to drive her.”
Deja wanted to snort. Offered? More like, gave her no choice when he grabbed her arm. His touch had been soft and gentle. She could’ve pulled away at any point. Just like she did here when he was holding her hand. So why didn’t she? Why did she let him drive?
“Thanks for the ride, E-man. You can go now.” She didn’t need—want—him here. She stepped around him and walked closer to Ava. “Where is he?”
Ava glanced behind her shoulder to the obstinate man, who obviously wasn’t going to leave, then looked at her. “No paperwork has been filed yet.”
Deja frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Come on.” Ava waved her hand for her to follow.
Deja listened obediently, large footsteps trailing behind her. Damn him! Why couldn’t he just leave? Ava stopped in the middle of the hallway. Emmett stood right next to her. Too close for her comfort. What was he trying to prove? He didn’t care in the car. Why was he acting like he cared now?
“I’ve always respected you, Deja.” Ava stopped talking when Deja started to laugh. “What?”
Deja rolled her eyes. “You hated my guts and wanted to arrest me when you first met me. I wouldn’t call that always respecting me.”
Ava smirked. “Okay. I concede that point. Once I got to know you and your determination to right a wrong, I respected you. I respect your privacy.”
Deja shivered as Emmett’s arm brushed her shoulder. Why couldn’t the man leave? How many times did she have to say it? “What’s your point? What does this have to do with my brother?”
“I was wrapping a few things up, eager to get home to Jimmy and Zane, when Officer Dorscher brought in an arrest. He was silent, brooding, and his eyes…they looked so familiar. You and your brother have the same eyes.” Ava smiled. A friendly one. “I asked Officer Dorscher if I could have a word and inquired about the arrest. I knew he was your brother as soon as I saw the last name. I politely asked him to hold off filling out any paperwork until I could talk to you.”
Deja steeled her features. She wouldn’t cry. “Why? What did he do?”
“I heard you got into an accident on the way to an appointment,” Ava said slowly. “Was that appointment to pick up your brother?”
“What’s your point, Ava? He’s on parole. This arrest is gonna have his ass back behind bars. Fine.” Deja shrugged like she didn’t care. Problem was she cared too much.
She didn’t want to talk about this. She certainly didn’t want to talk about it in front of Emmett. She already lost his respect.
“I’m sorry about your parents. That must’ve been hard on both of you. It was an accident.” Ava touched her shoulder, offering her comfort, the one thing nobody ever did. Not those two cops who came to her door. Nobody during the trial. Not even her brother.
“An accident? You said he was in prison for murder,” Emmett said quietly, a hint of suspicion in his tone.
Ava scoffed. “Is that what you believe, Deja?”
“That’s what Dare believes.” Deja shrugged again.
Ava brushed her hair away from her face and sighed. “Here I am again, meddling in other people’s business. I can’t help myself. Especially when it involves people I care about. I care about you.”
“Why?” Deja honestly couldn’t understand. She didn’t understand in the beginning, and she still didn’t.
“A conversation for another time.” Ava nodded down the hallway. “He’s sitting at the desk, probably sweating bullets. Or not. He looks at peace, almost as if he purposely tried to get arrested. Did you see him today?”
Deja nodded. “It wasn’t a happy family reunion. He wants nothing to do with me.”
Ava slowly smiled. “And yet, here you are.”
“I don’t turn my back on my family. He’s all the family I have.” Deja clenched her fists.
“He was arrested for disorderly conduct. He got into it with a few other patrons and the bartender asked him to leave. According to the bartender, he refused, so he called the cops. Officer Dorscher ran his record and slapped the cuffs on him. I could probably talk him out of filing the report and giving him another chance. Everyone deserves a second chance.” Ava reached out and touched her shoulder. “Don’t they?”
“His second chance was when they released him today. The first thing he does is have a drink.” Deja shook her head as the memories assaulted her. Memories she hadn’t let prick her mind in a long time. “Why’d you call me?”
“Because I thought you’d want to know. Because I thought seeing you might change his mind and clean up his act a little better.” Ava shrugged. “Me meddling. Can’t help it.”
Deja refused to cry, yet she could feel tears forming. “Can I talk to him?”
“Sure.” Ava waved for her to follow her once again.
Deja turned to Emmett. “Just leave already. I don’t want you here.” She walked away before he could argue with her or she could attempt to change his expression. It was still oddly blank.
They turned another corner that led into a big room filled with desks. A few officers sat in front of their computers tapping away or working on some paperwork. The only desk that mattered to her was the one occupied by her brother. His head was down, eyes in his lap. It gave her time to study him, unlike this afternoon.
His blonde hair was long, almost to his shoulders. She could still remember the short buzz cuts he always wore. He never let it grow longer than an inch. Now, it was borderline girlish. She had no idea where he got any clothes. He certainly wasn’t wearing the clothes he walked into the prison with ten years ago. He had on a black t-shirt with a pair of faded jeans that looked a size too big for him.
He lost too much weight. Not that he was fat ten years ago, but now he was lean and firm. She could tell he had to have been working out with the way his biceps bulged out. He looked almost ripped, yet his face looked slim with sharp angles. Hardened and fierce. Like someone who spent the last ten years behind bars.
Ava stopped and gestured for her to keep going. “I’ll just hang back here. Take your time.”
Deja nodded and took a few long strides before she was standing less than a foot away from her brother. “Dare?”
His head shot up so fast she was afraid he developed whiplash. Surprise, disgust, and maybe even a little hope flashed in his eyes before they turned black, devoid of any emotion.
“What the hell are you doing here? Go away, Deja.” He looked away.
“I have a spare room. I have a few clothes I found at garage sales, but I figured we could go shopping tomorrow.” She waited for him to look her way. “I can help you find a job.”
He lifted his hands, jangling the cuffs that were wrapped around his wrists. “See anything interesting? The only thing I’m doing is going back to prison.”
“Is that what you want?”
He stared at her for the longest time. “What do you want from me? Just go home. I don’t want to see you.”
Deja didn’t know what to say. How many times could she offer her love, her support? How many times could she ask for her brother’s love? Why did he keep pushing her away? She didn’t blame him. It was an accident. Just like Ava said, which surprised the hell out of her.
“Dare, it was an accid—”
“Shut the hell up, Deja. Don’t you dare say that. Leave me the hell alone.” His lips were tight, his face red with anger, his fists clenched in his lap.
“Listen up, asshole. Nobody speaks to her that way. Not even her brother. Show a little respect.” Emmett stood in front of her brother, the anger plastered on his face. “She’s the only reason your ass isn’t sitting in a cell waiting to be escorted back to prison. This is your only chance to start doing things the correct way. You’re not going to get another pass, that’s for sure.”
Where did Emmet come from? She could tell Dare wanted to stand up and get in Emmett’s face. Instead, he sat there, his jaw clenched, the tiny muscles in his cheek twitching. “Who the hell are you?”
Emmett glanced at her, the fire blazing in his eyes. Anger. Rage. Desire?
Why didn’t he leave yet? Why was he standing up to her brother defending her?
He turned away and looked at Dare. “I’m her boss…and her friend.”
♡
I want to be so much more.
Emmett couldn’t say that. Maybe he should. Maybe that would wipe away the anger and sorrow from her face. He couldn’t blame it all on her brother. He put some of it there. Like an idiot, he got tongue-tied when she uttered the word murder. Or, more like, silent.
What do you say to that? Wow. Okay. That’s nice. Crazy. Nothing seemed appropriate.
“Emmett?”
He turned to Deja, noting the anger still present. Her eyes sparkled bright blue. Brighter than ever before. Her lips were tight, her stance stiff. She could be pissed at him. He wasn’t about to let anyone, including her brother, talk to her that way. It was uncalled for.
“I won’t apologize, Deja. You deserve better. You’re trying to help and he’s acting like an asshole. I won’t stand here and let that happen. Be pissed all you want.”
Her eyes glittered. With what, he couldn’t tell. “You didn’t care on the ride here.”
“I care. Some days I care too damn much.” Emmett averted his eyes and glared at Dare, who gave him a funny look. “Are you going to let her help you, or continue to act like a jackass?”
Dare stared him down for a few beats before speaking. “Do you even know what I did?”
“Not really. At this point, I don’t care. You’re hurting your sister by pushing her away. She’s all the family you have. Why push her away?” Emmett raised his brows as he waited for an honest answer.
Dare loosened his fists and shrugged. “Fine. Get me the hell out of here.”
“Really, Dare?” Hope sprang into Deja’s eyes.
Emmett shook his head. No way in hell anything was happening unless he felt satisfied. Deja would just have to deal with it. He couldn’t see her hurting as he did back at the house. Now he knew why. Her brother put the pain in her eyes.
“Apologize first.”
Dare cocked a brow and smirked. “Make me, asshole. It’s none of your business the shit between my sister and me.”
Emmett leaned closer, getting right into his face. “I’m making it my business. You’re not leaving until you apologize for talking to her like that.”
“Emmett, stop. He doesn’t have to apologize.”
He backed away from Dare and threw a hand in his direction. “So you’re okay with him speaking to you that way? You’re okay with him constantly hurting your feelings? I’ve never seen you let anyone hurt you like that. Why would you allow your brother to?”
Her face became hard, just like the many times since he met her. A wall was creeping up between them. He drove that wall down, brick by brick, and now it was springing back to life. Because he suddenly couldn’t keep his emotions in check.
“Like my brother said, it’s none of your damn business what’s going on between us. I’m pretty sure I asked you to leave several times. Please do so.”
He clamped his mouth shut before he said something he would regret. He shouldn’t walk away. He should grab her brother by the shirt and make him apologize, but if Deja didn’t want him here, then fine. He wouldn’t stay where he wasn’t welcome.
Emmett stepped in front of Deja, shielding her from Dare. With a light brush, he caressed her cheek before letting his hand fall to his side. “You don’t deserve to be treated that way. By anyone. I don’t care what he did. He doesn’t scare me. You can keep pushing me away all you want, but I’ll always be here for you. Just remember that. One phone call and I’m there. Don’t hesitate.”
He walked away. She wanted to handle her problems by herself, so be it.
For now.
He’d be back later to try to help her. To convince her to talk.
Emmett tried to walk past Ava without her stopping him, but it was impossible.
“Didn’t go like you wanted, huh?” Ava asked with a tender smile.
“I don’t like that guy. It doesn’t seem like he should get a free pass right now.”
“They’ve been through a lot. He’s probably dealing with a lot of guilt right now. It’s always easier to push people away rather than let them in.”
Emmett ran a hand through his thick, black hair. “What happened?”
Ava glanced behind her to look at Deja and Dare. His eyes followed. Deja was saying something to her brother, and by the looks of it, he didn’t care what she was saying. Clenching his fists, he forced away the temptation to walk back over there.
“I’ve already meddled enough. If Deja wants you to know, she’ll tell you. I’m sorry, Emmett.”
He nodded. Surprisingly, he preferred that, too. He wanted Deja to trust him enough to tell him the story. “Make sure he’s not a complete dick before they leave. I don’t trust him.”
“Don’t worry about a thing.”
Emmett walked away, knowing he would worry about too much. Things he had no right to worry about. Things he shouldn’t even think about.
Going home to an empty house sounded lonely. Normally it didn’t bother him. Tonight, it bugged the shit out of him. Before he knew it, he was pulling into his brother Ethan’s driveway. One quick knock and he heard a voice holler, “Yo, it’s open.”
Ethan wouldn’t say that to any knock. He just knew it was one of his brothers, either him or Gabe. He never did anything special either, just one quick tap. Maybe that’s what made it so distinct.
Emmett swung the door open and slammed it shut. Not intentionally, at least, he didn’t think so.
“Who cranked your engine? Go get a beer. Grab me one while you’re at it. Mine’s empty.” Ethan held out an empty beer bottle with a sly smirk.
“Lazy much?” Emmett swiped the bottle from his hands and grabbed two from the fridge before taking a seat on the couch not far from Ethan, handing him one of the beers.
“So?”
Emmett took a swig of beer. “What?”
Ethan cocked a brow. “You normally don’t slam the door like that. What’s up? I heard Deja wrecked Soph’s car. Is she hurt? I thought she didn’t get a scratch. Is that what’s got a bug up your ass?”
“She’s fine. We got into a spat.”
Ethan chuckled. “When do you two not get into a spat?”
“We don’t fight all the time.”
“You two squabble back and forth all the time, man. I call it sexual tension. Just announce your intentions toward her already and release that tension.”
Emmett laughed, the sound not ringing true at all. “Trust me, it’s all one-sided. I thought I hid my feelings better.”
“Dude, you’re so transparent when it comes to her. Since she popped into our lives.”
“She sure told me where I could shove it. Told me screw you several times.” Emmett smirked at Ethan before he could retort in a dirty way. “And not the good kind of screwing.”
“That’s too bad.” Ethan’s eyes sparkled with mischief, then turned somber. “So what happened? Doesn’t sound like normal fighting here.”
“Her brother just got released from prison, and not a few hours later, he was arrested. Ava, being the nosy busybody she is, called Deja. She’s willing to talk the officer out of making it an official arrest for Deja’s sake. There’s a whole lotta drama in that family.”
Ethan sat up, twisting the beer bottle in his hands. “What was he in prison for?”
Emmett shrugged. “Don’t know. Deja said…” Saying it out loud made it real, even though Ava made it sound like it wasn’t true.
“Deja said what? The suspense, Emmett. Knock it off. It’s Gabe who holds everything inside. Don’t act like that.” Ethan laughed, obviously trying to cut the tension in the room.
“Murder.” Emmett sat up, mimicking his brother by twisting the bottle. He didn’t need to look at Ethan to know he was speechless. Sort of the same reaction he had earlier. “Ava made it sound like it wasn’t quite like that, but she didn’t tell me anything. I don’t really care either. I want Deja to tell me. After tonight, I don’t think she’s going to keep working for me, let alone talk to me.”
It sat on the tip of his tongue to tell Ethan what happened at her house. How good she felt in his arms. How sweet she tasted. Except he couldn’t. Because then he’d have to tell him how fake everything was. A way for her to remove the hurt. Hide it for a while. She didn’t want him for him. She just wanted to use him.
“Deja won’t quit on you. She’s one tough cookie. You two have gone head-to-head quite often about things and not once has she ever walked away.”
Emmett chugged half his beer to keep from spilling about the kiss. “I might’ve gotten into her brother’s face for the way he was treating her. She didn’t appreciate it.”
Ethan laughed. “No shit. When has Deja ever appreciated someone trying to help her? That woman likes her independence. Doesn’t like to rely on anyone. The only one she doesn’t argue with much is Soph. You know that.”
“Yeah, well, I wasn’t about to stand there and let him talk to her that way. Whether she wanted my help or not.”
“Good for you.” Ethan chuckled. “It’s about damn time you start showing her what she means to you. I thought Gabe was slow with the ladies.”
Emmett wanted to knock that stupid grin off his face. “Quit laughing. There is absolutely nothing funny about what happened tonight.”
Ethan leaned back, pressing the bottle to his lips, a smile hiding behind it. “It’s a little funny. Let me know when you finally kiss her.”
“Why?”
“Because Gabe and I have a bet going on when you’ll finally give in and kiss her. I don’t wanna lose that bet.”
Emmett remained silent. Sometimes being the oldest sucked. He had to deal with his younger brothers acting like a bunch of juveniles. He finished his beer. No way would he admit he kissed her tonight. Well, correction, she kissed him. He just happened to kiss her back. When he truly initiated the kiss, then he’d spill the beans and make whoever won the bet split it with him. Because, yeah, sometimes being the oldest had its perks. He always got his way.
If he even had the chance to kiss her again. Or the nerve.
More than likely, she wouldn’t talk to him.
“I need another beer. Want one?” Emmett stood up.
“Drowning your sorrows isn’t gonna help.” Ethan laughed.
“Just for that, you can get your own damn beer.”
Ethan’s laughter followed him all the way to the kitchen. Despite how much it annoyed him that his brother found this all funny, it lifted his spirits. This is why he came here. He knew Ethan would make everything seem not so bad. He found the humor in almost anything.
Emmett didn’t. Not when he screwed it up with Deja.