CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Kyle
For those few moments with my mate, I felt so peaceful. It was a feeling I didn't want to pass.
I looked at her, the person who had been chosen by destiny to walk the path of life with me. I never believed it was possible to love anyone as much as I did in that moment.
My fingers picked up a strand of her red hair and I admired the color. For a moment in time I allowed myself to think about the future that might be possible if we managed to defeat the Keepers. Would our kids inherit her beauty, her vibrant red hair and her shimmering green eyes, that were enough to bring me to my knees?
"What are you thinking?" she asked, seeing my slight smile.
I shrugged. "I want to believe that we will defeat the Keepers and have the chance at a future together."
She didn't look as hopeful. There was a sadness in her eyes that made me press my lips to her to give her reassurance.
"We have to hold on to the hope that we will survive this," I told her, wanting to ease the sadness she was feeling.
Her eyes glistened and I brushed the wetness with my fingers.
"Don't cry. I want you to believe that this won't be the end."
She swallowed, her eyes staring lovingly up to mine.
"Have you ever thought about having a family?" I asked. I had always wanted to be a father.
She shook her head. "I never allowed myself to think about those things, to believe those things were possible for me." She let out an emotional breath. "My only aim was to run far away so I wouldn't put anyone's life in danger. From the time I discovered what I was, my only aim has been to escape."
I reached out and brushed her cheek softly with my fingers. "Not anymore."
She nodded.
"The spray was successful," I told her, hoping that would help. "There are still a few kinks we need to work out but it works."
She brushed away the unshed tears and pressed her lips together.
"You tried it out on Flynn," she said, and I nodded.
"What happened?" she asked, pulling away from me slightly. It was clear that bringing it up hadn't had the desired effect. Instead it had made her distance herself from me.
"It incapacitated him."
She bit her lip slightly. I wished I were able to read her thoughts because there seemed to be a lot going on in her mind and I had no idea what.
"Talk to me," I prompted, hoping she would let me in. She sat up in the bed, pulling her knees up.
I sat up beside her.
"I know we don't see eye to eye on this and I understand your reasons for doing what you've done." It wasn't what I wanted to hear but at least she was being honest with me. "But it doesn't take away the guilt I feel for what we're doing to Flynn or what you're going to do." She was referring to the decision to end his life to ensure the safety of her secret.
"I know how you feel about it," I said gently, taking her hand into mine. "I don't want you to think that this is a decision I've taken lightly."
I let out a heavy emotional sigh.
"Taking his life won't be easy," I admitted, not liking how weak it made me sound. "If we'd been in a battle it would have been different."
"Then don't do it," she pleaded softly. I studied her for a moment to try and find the right words to explain to her why I had to do this. Maybe it would make her understand.
"I have to. If I don't kill him and we release him to the Keepers, you know what will happen."
She dropped her gaze to our connected hands.
"They'll attack us," I said.
"But they will anyway. They won't allow a death of a Keeper to go unpunished," she argued.
It was true.
"If they find out who you are, they will hunt you down. They will never give up. If we go to war with them, we still have a chance at beating them and you will be safe." She didn't like my logic but there was no arguing that it was true. "You have a better chance of survival if they don't find out."
"But they are just a small group. If we start a war with them, they will send for reinforcements." It was the reality of our situation. If we didn't do it right, there would be far-reaching consequences that would be painted with our blood.
"That's why we need to ensure we wipe them out. We have to make sure that we kill all of them so we don't allow them to relay anything back to their leaders."
She looked at me skeptically. Her hand tightened around mine.
"If things don't go our way and this has to end, I want you to know that the last few days I've had with you have been the best," she said. "I was born to be loved by you and there is nothing better than when you look at me like I'm the only person who matters."
"I feel the same," I said, feeling the exact same way. My world revolved around her. When she looked at me with those big green eyes, everyone else faded away.
I leaned over and kissed her, needing to touch her. When I lifted my mouth from hers, she was breathing hard and I could feel my pulse quicken.
"Then let's not fight," I told her. "Let's savor our time together."
I lay down and she joined me. I slid my arms around her, bringing her closer as she kissed me, her hands on my face as her mouth opened slightly. Our tongues slid against each other.
Even though we'd just been together, I needed her again.
We moved together again, needing the closeness of our bodies. She groaned as I gently bit her ear and she arched her body against mine. Her skin, slick with sweat, caressed mine.
This time was hard and quick. The need outweighed anything else. Afterward I lay still, trying to catch my breath. Crystal lay beside me, still breathing heavily. My eyes held hers. I expected to see a mirror of my feelings but there was something else—sadness—and then it was gone.
There was something up with her but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. She lay beside me, tucked in my side, trailing her fingers across my skin in a gentle motion. I frowned as I tried to figure out why she was acting weird. It could be the change that made her still feel so unsettled. Or it could be something else. I was clueless.
"You seem distracted," I said, studying her face to read her expression in hopes of figuring out why, in her mind, she wasn't here with me.
Our union had been a shattering experience. It was like a tsunami of feelings rushing though me at once, all-consuming.
"It's nothing," she dismissed before hugging me. I breathed in the smell of her with her hair in my nostrils. She predominantly smelled the same as every pack member would, but underneath it was the faintest sweet smell of her. It was like a breath of fresh air that filled my lungs, bringing me to life.
"I love you," I said, needing her to hear those words.
She hugged me tighter. "I love you too."
It was another beautiful experience to engrain in our memories if we didn't survive.
With the elusive feeling of peacefulness, I closed my eyes and felt myself drift off to sleep. My last thought was of my mate and the love I felt for her.
Crystal
As soon as his breathing evened out, I slid from the bed, trying my best not to make any sudden movements that would wake him.
Flynn's in the car, Dean told me through the mind-link.
He stirred briefly and I froze, still bent with a bare foot on the floor and still clutching the bedcovers, keeping as still as possible until his breathing returned to a steady rhythm. I hesitated for a moment before reminding myself that I didn't have a lot of time.
Bay and Dean were waiting for me. They had Flynn safely stored in a car.
I got dressed, pulling my clothes on as quickly as I could. For only a few seconds beside the bed, I allowed myself the chance to study Kyle for one last time. My heart inflated with the love I felt for him, making it more difficult to turn away and leave. I engraved every detail of his handsome face into my memory.
"I love you," I whispered, the words encapsulating the strong emotions I felt for him. My lips feathered the lightest kiss to his cheek. He smiled in his sleep, and the guilt washed over me, making it hard to keep myself on track with my plan and decision.
He wouldn't understand my actions. He may never forgive me, but it wouldn't matter if he didn't survive. To me there was no other option.
Walking out on him, leaving him behind, was one of the most painful things I had ever done in my short life. Our connection called out to me, making each step away from him harder. But each time I hesitated I would remember the reason I had to do this and it would give me the renewed strength to go through with it.
Outside it was dark. I looked around but there was no one. Getting seen now would entail questions I had no answers for. There were three cars parked in front of the house.
I scanned the area, trying to figure out which one they had Flynn in. A shadow stepped out from the middle one. The moonlight lit up the features for me to see it was Dean.
I hurried forward.
He's in the back, he told me through the mind-link, ensuring our conversation wasn't open to anyone else from the pack.
Is he conscious? I asked, a little frightened to be in a closed environment with a Keeper who wasn't exactly a fan.
Dean shook his head. We gave him the dose of wolfsbane after we got him into the car. Which meant he still had a double dose of wolfsbane—the one from the spray that Kyle tested on him, and the one Dean injected into him.
Thank you, I said to Dean. Where's Bay? I looked around. The front door of the car opened and Bay got out.
I'm here, she answered.
I was relieved that everything was going according to plan. Now I had to get out of here before anyone could stop me.
Thank you to both of you, I told them.
You can't do this alone, Dean said, but I had already expected that.
I can't put either of you in danger. I'm stronger than both of you and I can't risk that something will happen to you.
It was a lie because I knew full well that the Keepers would kill me as soon as they found out what I was. Even if I was as strong as or even slightly stronger than a Keeper, I was no match for a group of them.
I didn't entertain any unrealistic expectations. I was going into this with my eyes open, knowing the risks and understanding the sacrifice.
Dean's right, Bay said, standing beside him. It's too dangerous for you to go alone. It was going to be worse than dangerous, it was going to be fatal.
Think, I told myself, trying to come up with something that would appease their fears and still allow me to do this on my own.
When Kyle finds out, he's going to be angry. There's a chance he could banish the people who are responsible for this. He won't banish me.
They both contemplated my explanation before nodding, knowing I was right.
There, I had successfully convinced them to let me go without them. I gave Bay a hug.
Take care of him, she whispered. My eyes met hers as I pulled away.
Be safe, Dean said.
From the day I had discovered my true identity, feeling safe had eluded me. Shrugging off my negative feelings, I got into the car. I looked back to see Flynn lying across the back seat of the car, an arm covering his face.
It was time. There was no more delaying. I started the car as Bay and Dean stepped away. I drove down the driveway, hoping the guards wouldn't question why I was leaving. Feeling nervous, I pulled up outside the gate and waited. After a few seconds the gates opened and I drove out of the compound.
Even though there wasn't any reason to suspect that someone had seen me, I kept checking to make sure I hadn't been followed. But the dark road behind me assured I was alone. There were no other cars around. It was early morning. The sun hadn't even risen yet.
Trying to concentrate on the way back to the Keepers, it was hard not to think of what was going to happen when I got there.
I was twenty minutes into the drive when I heard the faint sounds of Flynn waking up. I gripped the steering wheel harder.
"Where am I?" he groaned, and I heard him shift on the seat behind me.
"I'm taking you back to your people," I told him. He didn't need to know that I was planning on giving myself up to the Keepers as well.
I looked back to see him sit up, but he put a hand to his forehead as he tried to fight the effects of the wolfsbane still controlling his body.
"Why?" he asked, not understanding. I concentrated my eyes back on the road.
"Well…the Keepers told Kyle that if we didn't return you, they would start a war."
"But he knows that returning me won't stop it," he said tersely. I shrugged.
"Kyle knows nothing of this," I told him.
There were a few moments of silence.
"Why are you doing this?" he asked. I shrugged again.
"Does it matter?"
There were another few moments of silence before he answered. "Yes."
I let out a heavy sigh.
"I couldn't allow him to end your life to keep my secret," I revealed. It wasn't like I expected my revelation to change how he viewed me or what was going to happen. "Besides, like you said, there's going to be war whether you live or not."
"So you're planning on letting me go?" He looked at me suspiciously, like there was a hidden motive he hadn't figured out yet.
"Yes."
"Do you believe the Keepers will allow you leave?" he asked.
I knew where he was going with this.
"No, I don't." I swallowed hard.
The silence that ensued told me my answer had been unexpected.
"You're prepared to die?" he asked, still not quite believing I was going to do it.
"Yes," I answered, keeping the fear out of my voice. I didn't want to allow him to see how scared I truly was. Knowing I was doing the right thing didn't turn me into a heroine.
"Why would you do that?" he asked. It was like he was piecing everything together to form the bigger picture.
"Because if I give myself to the Keepers, then there will be no reason to attack my pack."
I felt the heat of his gaze but ignored it. I didn't expect him to understand.
"This will destroy him," he said. The guilt I had been struggling with rose to the surface again. He was right but it didn't matter. My mate's life and the lives of my pack members depended on this.
If I backed out in a moment of weakness they would die trying to protect me. I couldn't allow that; it wasn't fair. But I had learned early on that life wasn't fair. Being born half-werewolf and half-Keeper, nothing I had experienced had been fair or my fault.
"I'm doing this because I love him," I explained, even though there didn't seem to be any point.
"You are weak," he said, and I frowned as my hands tightened on the wheel. "You allow your emotions to dictate your actions."
"Think what you want, I don't care." I was finished with our conversation.
He was the enemy. As soon as we got to the Keepers, he would reveal to them what I was and my fate would be sealed.
The only thing I could hold on to was the fact I had kept Kyle safe. He would mourn my loss and it would be difficult for him, but I hoped one day he might be able to find someone else to share in his life. The thought hurt but I couldn't allow myself to be selfish.