CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Kyle
For the rest of my life I would never forget that panic and pain I had felt when she had stopped breathing.
Even now, sitting beside her and knowing she was okay did nothing to erase the memory of those few moments when I had thought I had lost her forever.
Just after I climbed into the bed beside her and wrapped her in my arms to keep her warm, her shaking had eased. The first sign had been no movement of her chest. I moved as quickly as I could to check her pulse and there was nothing.
No life.
Get Curtis to my room now! I ordered a nurse in medical through the pack's mind-link. Crystal isn't breathing.
Frantically I started CPR on her, a deep breath into her lungs before I pressed down on her chest, trying to keep my rising panic at bay.
Minutes later, Curtis came rushing into my room and told me to step aside. His instruction went against every instinct I had as a mate but I removed my hands from her and let him take over.
I watched from the sidelines, hoping and praying she wouldn't die. Her face had been so peaceful instead of contorting with the agony of the change.
Wake up, I kept repeating.
Finally, the soft gasp of her breath had made my whole world shift. I experienced the full effect of our connection. My world revolved around her, and without her, there was no reason to go on.
I ran a hand through my hair while Curtis checked her vitals.
"We need to move her to medical," he told me, and I nodded. We couldn't take the chance that this would happen again. "It's taking much longer than expected."
It was a reminder she wasn't an average female werewolf. I wanted to pick her up in my arms and move her but Curtis shook his head.
"We need to move her carefully." I stepped back, allowing him to do what he was trained to do.
"I think we should give her a dose of wolfsbane when she wakes."
"Do you think it will help?" I asked, not feeling confident that it would. But we were dealing with the unknown.
"I don't know but at this point I think it's worth a try."
Anxiously I followed as they moved Crystal to the medical center.
"How's she doing?" James asked when he came to see what was happening.
"I don't know." It felt like the weight of the world rested on my shoulders as I strode purposefully behind the group of people carrying Crystal on a medical gurney.
James gave me a sideways glance while he walked beside me.
"What can I do for you?" he asked.
"Just keep everything running smoothly," I told him. I wanted to dedicate every moment to my mate and that left no space for everything else that needed attention from me.
"You got it," he assured me.
Once they had moved her into one of the rooms, they hooked her up to the machines to raise an alarm in case her heart stopped again. Her hand felt so small and fragile in mine. I sat beside Crystal, watching her, making sure I could see the faintest movement of her breathing.
Not long afterward, Crystal began to stir. The smooth planes of her face contorted. It felt like a nightmare that wouldn't end.
"Please, make it stop," she gasped and her words cut right through me.
"Hang in there. We're going to give you something to try and ease the pain."
"Please," she whimpered while she gripped my hand.
"Curtis," I called out, and I heard hurried footsteps.
"I got it," Curtis said, his eyes filled with concern.
He got out a syringe and injected it into her arm. Almost instantly her body began to relax and her eyes closed.
"It's working," Curtis murmured.
"Thank God," I said, starting to feel like there was hope that she would survive. I picked up her hand and kissed it, needing her to know I was here with her.
"Thank you," she whispered softly.
She was exhausted and her eyelids closed once more.
"Sleep, Crys," I murmured as I gently caressed her cheek.
Hours passed but I didn't move. She seemed to be sleeping peacefully but I was too scared. Her breathing remained even and her vitals seemed good. Curtis checked on her every thirty minutes.
He gave her an additional dose of wolfsbane a few hours later to ensure she didn't run out. Her body had been pushed to its limit and Curtis was worried that any additional trauma could stop her heart again.
I was exhausted as I sat beside her and watched her every breath. Every small rise of her chest gave me hope.
"I'm okay," she assured me, pulling me out of my memories.
"I know," I said, pressing her hand to my lips, feeling like an emotional mess.
She reached out and touched my face with her hand.
"You can't ever do that to me again," I told her, my voice hoarse with the emotions that I was still working through.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"It's not your fault." But it didn't soften the experience of thinking she had died.
"I thought the worst thing was not knowing where you were or wondering why you were running away from me." I paused for a moment. "But that was nothing compared to watching you take your last…breath."
I swallowed the emotion in my throat.
"I'm here," she assured me, her eyes greener than before. More intense.
I nodded my head. Hearing her words made me feel a little better but the reality was that life and death were beyond our control. I would always carry the fear of loss I had experienced even if she lived a long life and died of old age.
"How long was I out?" she asked, looking around.
"Two days." There had been times I had wondered if it would ever end but it was hard to wrap my mind around the fact it had lasted two days.
Curtis entered the room and smiled at Crystal.
"It's good to see you up and awake," he said, sounding chirpy.
"Thank you," she said to him, giving him a weak smile.
"You're welcome. I just wanted to check on you," he said as he looked through her chart.
"I feel a little tired but okay."
Curtis and I shared a look. That wasn't normal. Usually when female werewolves woke up after the change, they felt stronger. It was like they were able to tap into their power as werewolves. This didn't seem to be the case with Crystal. I wasn't going to blow the whole thing out of proportion. The Keeper part of her could explain the difference.
"You get as much rest as you need," Curtis told her before he left.
"I just need a word with Curtis," I told Crystal before leaving the room.
I caught him in the hallway giving an update to James.
"What do you think?" I asked Curtis.
He gave me a pensive look. "I'm not sure. It could be the fact that her change was longer and more intense. That could explain her extended recovery period. But the truth is we really don't have any idea. All we can do is monitor her."
I hated there were no answers. Helplessness wasn't a feeling I liked at all. Being a man of action, it went against my nature to be patient and wait.
"Have we learned anything new from Flynn?" I asked James. He shook his head.
"Bay has been talking to him but he hasn't really told her much."
I didn't like the idea that Bay was interacting with the Keeper. Remembering the way he had looked at her brought out the protectiveness in me.
"I don't want Bay anywhere near him," I told James.
"I couldn't agree more with you but she has insisted."
Bay was a force to be reckoned with but there was something about having her near our enemy that set the alarm bells off in me.
"I don't care what you have to do. Keep her away from him," I said, giving him the order to go to any lengths to keep his sister away from Flynn.
She wouldn't be happy but keeping her safe was more important. I could handle the repercussions. She would be angry but I had to trust the instinct that told me to keep her away from him.
"Have there been any sightings of the Keepers?" I asked, still needing to keep tabs on what was happening on the outside. I was still the alpha and it was my responsibility to keep every pack member safe.
"No." I wanted to be relieved, but I wasn't.
Crystal
I felt weird. I couldn't put my finger on exactly why I was feeling that way, though. My emotions felt like they were all over the place. One moment I was feeling so agitated my hand tapped against the bed and the next moment a wave of hot anger pushed through me, suffocating any other emotions. It was like a seesaw of emotions, up or down with no in between.
Kyle had left half an hour ago to go and check in with James and Cade.
Give yourself time, I told myself. I had just finished the change and needed to give myself time to heal.
But with Flynn sitting in a cell in the basement, and with a group of ruthless Keepers who were surely going to show up soon to get him back, I was running out of time.
And I had no idea what that entailed for us. There would be repercussions for taking him. Trying to soothe the fear I felt, I took a deep breath and released it. I was feeling more and more like an emotional basket case. I tightened my hands into fists and clenched my teeth as I rode out the emotions that gripped me. After a few minutes I started feeling better.
We had no way of knowing how mating with Kyle would affect the Keeper side of me. The fact my change hadn't been normal just reinforced that I was different. What I was now was an unknown. Physically I still felt weak, and I hated it.
There was a knock at the door before Bay walked in. I was surprised to see her.
"Hi," she said before standing beside me. "I just wanted to check on you."
I straightened up, giving her a weak smile. "I'm okay."
She studied me for a moment. "Shouldn't you be ready to shift yet?"
I shrugged. I couldn't explain why I had no drive to morph into my wolf. Just the thought made my body ache.
"I'm not sure why I'm not."
She continued to watch me. It made me feel a little self-conscious so I raised my hand and touched my face.
"Sorry," she said, trying to give me a friendly smile. "It's just you're the first werewolf/Keeper I've met."
That took me by surprise. Kyle had made it clear that other than a few selected people, he wasn't going to reveal my secret beyond those few. And I was pretty sure that had excluded Bay. I remained quiet while I tried to figure out what to say. Should I admit it or deny it?
"Flynn says we need to be scared of you," she admitted before biting her lip while she waited for me to elaborate.
"You've been talking to him?" I asked. Flynn wasn't the talkative type and the fact he had confided in her surprised me.
"Talking would involve more than a few sentences," she dismissed. "So how are you feeling?"
"I'm fine," I told her, hesitant on revealing anything to her.
The door opened and Kyle strode in. His forehead creased when he saw I had company. His footsteps slowed as his eyes went to me before settling back on Bay.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, directing the question at my visitor.
"I wanted to make sure she was okay," she answered. "Flynn told me what she is."
"Why?" he asked, getting straight to the point.
"He said she's dangerous."
I could see Kyle's jaw tighten, and the telltale sign of his anger was his hands fisted by his sides.
"I don't want you going anywhere near the Keeper's cell," Kyle commanded with an alpha tone. Bay's eyes glinted with rebellion even though she would have to obey his command.
"You're overreacting. I was just curious to see her." Bay walked to him.
They had always been close. Growing up together had woven a connection that went past friendship. He treated her like a sister.
"If it gets out, the Keepers will not leave until they kill Crystal," Kyle said, leveling with her. He gave her the blunt truth.
She looked a little shocked before looking back to me. I grasped my hands together nervously, which twisted my stomach, causing me physical pain.
"I won't say anything," Bay assured Kyle. "But I want to be able to see Flynn."
He was already shaking his head. "That's not a good idea."
"Why not?" she asked, her hands settling on her hips, ready for a showdown.
"I don't have to explain my decisions to you." Bay wasn't one to wear her heart on her sleeve but I couldn't miss the pain that flitted across her features before she schooled them.
"Fine," she responded in a clipped tone, about to leave, but Kyle caught her by the wrist.
"It's for your own good." But she gave him an indifferent look before pulling her wrist free.
Kyle stood watching her exit for a few moments before facing me.
"Sorry about that," he said, taking his place beside me. The touch of his fingers on my hand calmed me. The previous pain caused from my nervousness eased. I looked up at him.
"It's okay."
"Flynn is putting things into her mind and I can't let that happen." He didn't need to explain his decisions to me. He cared about Bay and keeping her away from Flynn seemed like a good idea.
Remember, he saved you, my conscious reminded me. But it might have ended differently if he had known what I really was.
We could try talking to him again but I doubted it would change anything. Flynn had grown up with beliefs that had been instilled in him. To him, I was something evil that had to be destroyed.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, pressing a kiss to my cheek. My stomach fluttered slightly and I smiled.
"I'm good," I replied. "You make me feel calm."
He smiled down at our connected hands. I tightened my hold around his fingers.
"Curtis wants more samples of blood," he told me as he pulled up a chair to sit down.
"Why?" I asked.
"He just wants to check some things out now that you've mated."
I nodded my head. It made logical sense.
"I feel strange," I admitted, tucking a piece of stray hair behind my ear.
"Strange, how?" His forehead creased while his eyes scanned me like he was trying to read me.
"I just feel out of sorts…more emotional," I admitted. My eyes glistened slightly, suddenly feeling teary.
"It's okay," he told me, standing up to hug me. I rested my head against his chest, drawing strength from him. "You need to take it easy so your body can recover."
"But this isn't normal," I mumbled against his shirt. My arms went around his torso, loving the way I felt in his arms. Was this love, or our mating connection? But then, did it matter?
He pulled away from me gently. "You're not normal. You're special."
I didn't want to be. I wanted to be a normal werewolf who had just mated. Not half a Keeper unsure of what the repercussions of mating with him would be.
"What if Flynn is right?" I looked up at him, feeling the fear spark to life inside me. I noticed that I didn't feel the emotions as strongly as I had experienced since I'd completed my change. Did his touch not only make me feel complete but did it also have the ability to weaken my negative emotions?
He brushed the wetness from my cheeks.
"He isn't," he replied. "You're fine."
"But what if I'm not?"
In his mind there was no chance, but I couldn't say the same.
"I need to know that if I do become what he says, that you'll stop me."
Kyle brushed my cheek.
"Promise me," I urged him.
He leaned his forehead against mine. "I promise." His voice was rough with emotion.