CHAPTER 20
Sawyer
My music blares throughout my mother’s house and I can picture her standing in the doorway, yelling at me to turn it down. I wouldn’t be able to hear her so she’d just get even more irritated and she’d cross the room and hit every button on my stereo until it would go off. Standing in the pantry of the kitchen, I smile at the memory, wishing I could see her do it in person just one more time.
Sighing, I turn back to the task at hand and continue cleaning off the shelves, throwing out the expired food and packing the rest away for Cuzzo. Garrison isn’t here, and I’m not happy. He’s leaving town soon, although he wouldn’t tell me when, but until he does, I want to spend every single free second with him. However, after not getting out of bed until noon, and running out of condoms, Garrison told me that he wouldn’t see me again until this pantry was empty. He stuck around for a couple hours, helping with the task until he had to leave. So, now I need to focus and get this done so I can kiss Garrison and wrap my arms around him.
In the meantime, I mindlessly sort the pantry as I daydream about what life could be like with Garrison. I know the two of us could never work, the distance is far too much, but still, it’s fun to lose myself in my imagination. As horrible a dancer as he is, I could picture us dancing around a small kitchen in the city. He’d still be awful, especially with the limited space but I’d laugh and kiss him, making us both forget how many times he’d step on my feet. Maybe one day, he’d let me tour his jet. He’d have to hold my hand the entire time to keep me from touching all the buttons. I smile at my fairy tale story as I place the last can of soup in a box.
Twenty minutes later, I have the Beast filled with canned goods and I’m speeding over to Cuzzo’s, not wanting to waste one more second away from Garrison. I whip the giant piece of metal on wheels around the almost ninety-degree corner. Almost immediately, the car approaching me lays on his horn. Startled, I jump and notice I’m over the center line. Quickly, I correct myself, getting back in my lane while my heart is racing. Slowly, my foot lets off the gas as my hands tremble on the steering wheel.
Tears fill my eyes so fast that I can barely see the road in front of me so I pull the car to the side of the road and put it in park. I lean my head against the wheel and begin to weep. Is that what happened to my mother? Was her heart going ninety miles per hour like mine? Could she see the face of the other driver? Was that the last thing she saw? What was she thinking as the upbeat tunes of salsa blared over the stereo and she literally faced death?
A thought jumps into my brain and I grasp my fingers around the steering wheel. Anger rolls through my veins and I scream at the top of my lungs as my knuckles turn white as I grip the wheel tighter. She could be alive, she could be here right now. It’s not fair, it’s not fuckin’ fair!
The suffocating heat from outside suddenly fills the space in the car, then his arms are around me. I look at the passenger’s seat and unhook my seat belt. I crawl over the console and into Garrison’s arms. He wraps me up tight, pulling me to his chest and I sob. Loud, ugly tears roll down my cheeks and onto his shirt, but he doesn’t say a word. Squeezing my eyes shut, I shake my head, hating that this isn’t the first time Garrison’s seen me like this but then again, this is me in the raw that no one else has ever seen, not even my mother. My mother was my best friend, my confidant, and I would never in a million years have been like this in front of her because I wouldn’t have been this upset over losing anyone else like this. Is Garrison taking her place?
His large hand strokes my hair and he kisses my forehead. The heat is stifling, even more so with me sitting on his lap and our bodies touching. Sweat beads on his forehead but he doesn’t complain, he simply comforts me, not asking questions, not rushing me, just letting me be.
I wipe my eyes and sit up, trying to control my breathing. Taking a deep breath, I run my hand over the dashboard. “If my mother had been driving the Beast instead of that damn Prius, she might still be alive.”
Garrison stares at me, fully listening, but not giving any hint of a reaction.
I speak quickly, motioning with my hands as I do. “The Beast is probably five times the size of the Prius. If she’d been in this, she would’ve had more support, something to protect her. Don’t you think? She’d still be alive, right? Right?” By the time I finish talking, I’m a little more frantic than sure of my train of thought.
Garrison takes my hand with his and kisses my knuckles softly. He looks directly into my eyes and nods. “Maybe, possibly, but you can’t live your life with what ifs. Cuz used to do that all the time with his accident that left him blind. It didn’t do anything other than piss him off and feel sorry for himself. Once he accepted the facts, he was able to move on and live his life. Look at him today, he’s happy.”
I sigh and lean my head against Garrison’s shoulder, mulling over his words. I think about my mother again, and a few tears pop into my eyes. I squeeze my eyes shut, pushing them away because I don’t want to cry any more. Looking up at Garrison, I pause to stare into his beautiful eyes before it hits me. Garrison needs to take his own advice of letting go of his past. That damn Clarissa wrecked him and maybe, just maybe if he can let it go then there might be hope for us.
Garrison
Thank God Cuzzo was sitting on the front porch and heard the tires squeal. He yelled at me in the garage and I sprinted down the county road, ready to help whoever needed it. When I saw it was the Beast on the side of the road, my adrenaline pumped faster, and I immediately expected the worst. So, when I opened the door and saw Sawyer crying, I was pleasantly relieved although I hate that she’s going through so much heartache.
Now, she’s safely in Cuzzo’s garage with me where I can see her so I can rest easy for the time being. Lying on my back, I look in her direction, her legs dangling over the workbench as she hums along with the radio. I know it’s killing her not to be able to get up and dance. If Cuzzo’s tools and the motorcyle parts weren’t strewn all over the place, I’d tell her to get up and samba, but this garage is a mess. Besides, I like her humming and the view of her legs is pretty good, too.
“Can you hand me a wrench?” I ask, holding a nut in place as I wait for the tool.
Sawyer hops off the bench and walks over to the toolbox. She bends over, searching for a wrench and I feel my cock stir. The view of her ass is nothing short of phenomenal. Fuck, judging by how fast I’m getting hard, I know it won’t be long before I’m going to have to abandon this bike and have more of Sawyer… as though this morning wasn’t enough. I already replenished the condom supply, this time thinking ahead for the rest of my time here. The pharmacist’s eyes almost bugged out of his head when I made my purchase. Needless to say, I don’t think anyone else in Memphis will be having safe sex until their next order of condoms comes in.
I drop the nut, rolling to my side and standing up. Walking up behind Sawyer, she doesn’t hear me and almost whips me in the head with a wrench. I grab her wrist before she makes contact. She gasps from surprise, her gaze moving from our hands to my eyes. I don’t say a word as I lean down and kiss her, wrapping my free hand around her waist and pulling her against me. I want her to feel what she does to my body so she knows how badly I want her.
“Mmm,” she moans, sliding her hand down the front of my jeans and rubbing exactly how I wanted her to.
“I can’t help it,” I mumble, “You do this to me.”
Sawyer bites her bottom lip as she pulls away, gripping my manhood through the denim. “I’m not complaining.”
“How’s the bike coming along?”
Cuzzo’s voice startles us both and we jump apart. I glance at Cuzzo then over to Sawyer and wipe the grease off her face that must’ve rubbed off from me. Cuzzo’s deep belly laugh fills the room and he shakes his head.
“You two forget that I’m blind?” He chuckles even louder. “Guess I should assume there wasn’t so much working on the bike as there was some hanky panky going on?”
I groan at his use of ‘hanky panky’ and shake my head for being an idiot and forgetting my grandfather is blind. Out of nowhere, Sawyer slaps my ass, squeezing it tightly.
“Definitely lots of hanky panky,” she informs my grandfather as she pushes on her tippy toes and kisses me passionately.
Despite the old man not being able to see us, I still feel awkward and pull away. Cuzzo and Sawyer both laugh, and I hate that the two of them gang up on me but I also kind of love it, too.
“The bike’s coming along, I should be able to drive it before lunch tomorrow.”
Cuzzo nods, leaning against the garage door. “And, how’s the father search coming?”
Sawyer sighs and walks to me, lacing her fingers with mine. “The first two were busts but I have a good feeling about Dean Sawyer on Monday.”
Cuzzo nods. “Good, I hope you get the answers you’re searching for. Meanwhile, you two have really caused a stir around town.”
My cheeks heat up and I assume he’s talking about me buying all the condoms in town. Fuck, I’m twenty-seven, I shouldn’t be ashamed of having sex, yet here I am blushing at the fact that my grandfather knows I bought shit ton of condoms.
“How so?” Sawyer asks and I’m reminded that she doesn’t know exactly how many I bought.
“Sam Ellington apparently has another child that his wife isn’t the mother of… and didn’t know about until a couple days ago. I guess you made him feel guilty so he came clean which led to other men giving their wives confessions of their infidelities while they served.” Cuzzo laughs and shakes his head. “Here they thought they’d got away with it all these years later, and then they all outed themselves.”
Sawyer frowns. “Wow… maybe I shouldn’t have started this search.”
I squeeze her hand and look at her. “No way, fuck them. It’s your life and you’re not doing anything wrong by trying to find out the truth. It’s not your fault they all cheated, it’s not fuckin’ hard to be faithful if you really love someone.”
Sawyer looks up at me, her frown softening and she kisses me softly. I turn my body to hers, sliding my hand through her hair and deepening our kiss. I’ve been cheated on before and it fuckin’ sucks. I don’t know how anyone could ever live with themselves after hurting someone who gave them their heart. I bunch her hair in my fist and slide my tongue inside her mouth. Sawyer doesn’t know it but she has my heart and if she ever gave me hers, I could guarantee that it would never be broken.
Across the garage, Cuzzo clears his throat and chuckles once. “I’m going to give you all a little privacy.”
No sooner does he finish his sentence that the garage door is pulled closed and I’m tugging Sawyer’s shirt off. I don’t know how long I have with her, but I want as much of her as I can get.