CHAPTER 6
Garrison
I lied. The bike didn’t do it for me. My libido is quite the opposite of satisfied, it’s raging and the fact that Sawyer is sitting in the front seat beside me with a smile the size of Texas on her face isn’t helping. Out of the corner of my eye, I glance over at her, her dark hair disheveled from the wind we whipped through on the bike. If I were ever to be on U.S. soil for longer than a few weeks at a time, I’d have bought that bike in a heartbeat but I know it’ll just sit in Cuzzo’s garage, rode maybe twice a year. As it is, I almost bought it just so I can see Sawyer smile like this the rest of the time I’m in town, not to mention her giggling in my ear when I would hit the gas. Quickly, I shake my head, trying to rid my mind of that memory before something pops up down below.
Nodding in her direction, I clear my throat. “So, I guess you liked it?”
Sawyer looks over at me with her big blue eyes all lit up. “It was fuckin’ amazing!” She giggles, covering her mouth as she drops the f-bomb. “Sorry! I can see why my grandfather forbid me to ever ride one of those things.”
Smirking, I look over at her. “Well, he’d be happy to know you were safe with me.”
Sawyer’s smile doesn’t disappear but she still manages to give her notorious eye roll. “Blah blah blah, the US Navy trusts you… doesn’t mean my grandfather would.”
The Navy thing usually always works in my favor with women and I’ll admit that it’s a bit of a turn-on that it isn’t doing anything for Sawyer. Normally the chase is annoying as I don’t have a lot of time but for some reason, I’m enjoying it with this woman beside me although I honestly don’t think anything will progress between us. Still, it’s a good distraction while I’m on leave and in this small town.
“Tell me about your grandfather and the rest of your family,” I say, trying to start a conversation that doesn’t include her making fun of me, no matter how much I appreciate it. Her smile diminishes and immediately I hate myself for doing that. Not so much for asking about her family to get to know her better but for making her smile disappear.
Sawyer shrugs, turning to look out the window as I drive the Suburban. “Your grandfather probably knew him. He worked at the lumber yard in town until the day he died.” She glances over at me. “Literally, he died on the job.”
“I’m sorry,” I mutter, unsure what else to say or do.
Sawyer shakes her head. “He wouldn’t have wanted it any other way unless he’d have known that my grandmother would die from a broken heart a few months later.”
I roll down my window, the giant car suddenly feeling like it’s lacking oxygen. She’s going to tell me about her mother next and that frown of hers is going to get even bigger and I’m not sure I can handle that. So, before she can tell me, I reach over and pat her hand.
“Cuzzo told me about your mom. I’m sorry.”
Sawyer bites her quivering bottom lip, tears in her eyes and I want to punch myself for making the situation worse. This is why I work with all men, we don’t upset each other, we don’t talk about our families, we don’t cry. Suddenly, I remember why I don’t date… it’s a precarious line to walk with the opposite sex and apparently I suck at it.
“My parents are alive but they suck, more worried about money than their own son.” I word vomit, trying to make Sawyer feel better but the second the words are out of my mouth, I know how awful it sounds. I glance at the passing road sign, grateful that we only have twenty more miles until this awkward car ride is over. I feel her eyes on me but refuse to look in her direction.
“How do they suck?” she asks, overlooking my insensitivity.
“Everything is about money and status to them. They couldn’t care less if I rode a motorcycle much less that I risk my life flying jets over enemy lines for a living. Although they do enjoy bragging about their son serving their country quite often, they think it heightens their status in society with their friends.”
“Seriously? I didn’t know people were actually like that, I thought that was only in the movies.”
Sighing, I grip the steering wheel, my knuckles turning white. “Then I guess my life is some kind of bad movie,” I mutter. Now that I think about it, that’s exactly what my life is… a really bad, fucking movie. Twenty miles until I can drop her off and I’ll be alone again… back to my bad movie life on my own. Two thumbs down… story of my life.
Sawyer
I think I offended him and had it been this time yesterday, I would have revelled in that fact. However, the guy has grown on me and I feel a teensy bit bad. I bite my lip to keep from giggling, knowing that’ll only make the situation worse. Laughing sure as hell beats crying but not everyone understands my nervous laughing. If anyone ever sees me crying though then they know I’ve reached my breaking point and I’m past the point of no return.
“I dance,” I blurt out, doing an awful job of changing the subject and making it even more awkward in the Beast than it already was.
Garrison glances over at me like I’m seven shades of crazy and nods nonchalantly, the way you would when you pass a drunk on the sidewalk that you’re trying to avoid.
Nervously, I start to explain, throwing up my hands as I speak faster and faster. “Obviously I dance, you saw me, but not for a high school team.” I giggle. “I mean I’m twenty-four so of course not for a high school squad. I’m from New York, well, not from—”
Garrison’s hand moves to my thigh, interrupting me more than if he were actually speaking. Fire runs up my leg and all I can do is stare at his hand, wondering what his next move is but he doesn’t have one. Slowly, I start to calm down although my attraction to him doesn’t dim.
After what feels like an eternity, I lift my gaze from where his hand rests to his face. Taking a deep breath, I try to steady my nerves. “Obviously, I’m from Memphis but I’m living in New York now. I went to Juilliard after high school and I’m still trying to find my place in the world of dance.”
Garrison nods, his eyes on the road. “You’ll have to excuse my ignorance but what kind of dancing?”
I fight a smile, surprised by his honesty although it comes at no surprise that he knows nothing about dance. “All kinds. I’ve studied in a variety of areas. I’ve auditioned for Broadway shows, I enter dance contests for swing, salsa, anything ballroom style. I choreograph dances for schools’ dance teams, basically anything I can do that incorporates dance. Think Dancing with the Stars.”
His lips slide into a smile and he nods. “I like it. You’re following your dream, that’s cool.”
My cheeks heat up at his comment and I look away bashfully.
“Not to bring up bad memories but what are your plans for being here?”
All he did was ask my plans for while I’m in Memphis but immediately, I’m reminded of my mother. A memory of us driving along this very same route in this very same vehicle with the windows down and the radio turned up has a goofy smile on my face and tears in my eyes. Blinking quickly to hold them back, I look over at Garrison with a shrug.
“I need to get her house cleaned out so I can sell the house and then…” I swallow the lump in my throat, surprised that I’m so emotional. “Then, I’m done with Memphis and I won’t ever be back.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I think I see Garrison’s lips dip into a frown but in the split second it takes to look his direction, it’s gone.
“Never? You won’t come back to see any family that’s around here?”
I scoff and shake my head. “My grandparents and my mother are gone so I’m all on my own, family of one now.” My heart clenches at that statement and the tears burn in my eyes. I never went a day in my life not knowing I was loved or how important family was but now they’re all gone and it’s just me. Not even in the middle of the crazy New York nights have I ever felt as alone as I do in this moment now that I’m facing the realization that I don’t have a single family member left.
“What about your dad?”
Narrowing my eyes, my emptiness is replaced by anger. Anger at my father but more so at Garrison for asking such a stupid question.
“Pft! He’s a deadbeat, never met him,” I answer, crossing my arms and hoping he’ll pick up on my body language so that he’ll drop the subject.
“How do you know he’s a deadbeat if you’ve never met him?”
My temper flares and I lean toward him, wishing I could breathe fire in his direction because his question is quite honestly ridiculous.
“He… he just is! What kind of man leaves his family? A deadbeat!”
“What did your mom tell you about him?”
Seriously, why can’t he let this go? I just stare at him as he drives the Beast, oblivious to my death glares and my desire to end this conversation.
“She said… well…” I sigh, unable to lie to this man beside me. I don’t know what it is about Garrison but he brings out the worst in me and apparently the honesty, too. “Honestly, she never spoke of him. I don’t have any idea of what he does or who he is.”
“So, he’s potentially not a deadbeat then?”
I reach over, punching Garrison in the leg. “What the hell is your deal with defending my father?”
Garrison looks over at me, surprised by my action as he looks down at his leg then over at me. I purse my lips and make my eyes wide, waiting for him to answer.
“Look, all I’m saying is that sometimes guys get a bad reputation when they don’t know anything at all about the situation. Some of the guys I work with have told me some pretty fucked up stories about getting slapped with paternity lawsuits and having to pay thousands of dollars in back child support for a child they never even knew about. I think it’s important to just find out the facts, that’s all I’m saying.”
Not a moment too soon, Garrison pulls the Beast into my mother’s driveway. The car is still moving when I fling open the door and jump out. Garrison calls out to me but my blood is literally boiling at his comment. What kind of asshole has the audacity to imply that my mother would do that kind of thing? Garrison Cocuzzo, that’s who.