CHAPTER 14
Sawyer
I stare at the clock, anxious for Garrison to knock on my door. Unlike the last couple times he’s stopped by, I would like to not be surprised, so although dancing is what I feel like doing right now to relieve my nerves, I leave my music off. It’s been hours since Garrison left Cuzzo’s and after what I learned, I want nothing more than to throw my arms around him. I want to tell him not all parents do their kids dirty like his did. I may have only had one parent growing up, but she did a damn fine job of always making me her priority, even with what little money we did have. I sigh, picking up a throw pillow and hugging it to my chest. I wish more than anything that my mother was here so that Garrison could see that most parents are amazing, not shitheads like his.
Not even thirty seconds later, I look at the clock again and read the exact same time. I also want to tell him not all women are like Clarissa, and that he shouldn’t give up on them just because of her. There’s one woman out there that’s missing out on an amazing man because of that slutty Clarissa. I sigh, wishing that I was that woman but knowing that’ll never be the truth. Garrison and I are similar in so many ways but complete opposite in many more.
A light knock on the front door has me on my feet and sprinting toward it. I slide across the hardwood floor in my socks and pull open the door, a grin appearing on my face the second I see Garrison. I don’t hesitate as I push up on my tippy toes and wrap him into a bear hug. Surprised, Garrison doesn’t react immediately but eventually, he slides his hands around my waist and returns the embrace.
“Everything okay?” he asks cautiously.
I nod, inhaling his cologne and not letting go of him. “It is now,” I whisper, feeling tears in my eyes. I drop back to my flat feet and shake my head, forcing the tears to disappear.
Giggling, I step to the side, making room for him to walk inside. He moves inside, and I close the door behind him. When I turn around, he’s staring at me and I suddenly realize how awkward my hug was despite both of us stepping into it openly.
“Sorry,” I mutter, waving behind me where we just embraced. “I’m just… kind of emotional with my mom and everything and… just needed a hug.”
Garrison narrows his eyes but doesn’t ask any questions. Before the situation grows uncomfortable again, I walk past him, leading us back to the living room where I take a seat on the couch, tucking my legs beneath me. Garrison sits beside me, leaving space so that we don’t touch, but is still within arm’s reach. He reaches out, patting my leg and then letting his hand rest there. My leg burns under his touch, and I force myself to not stare at it or else my mind will have very dirty thoughts running through it.
“I wanted to give you some space today after everything yesterday with Dante; I know you’ve got to get back to New York, and I’m only here for a little bit. I wanted to see where your head was, make sure we’re on the same page.”
He stops, lifting his eyebrows and my heart races. The same page? OMG, I know there’s an attraction between us, but neither of us have voiced anything about it so he’s just jumping the gun here. Suddenly, my stomach flips, realizing maybe he’s suggesting we just fuck. I mean, not that I wouldn’t mind that, especially with a guy as hot as him, but damn, the audacity—
“If you want to keep looking for your father, I’m ready to go with you. You just need to let me know so I can cancel the appointment with Dean Sawyer on Monday if you aren’t ready.”
Oh… are we on the same page about searching for my father? Thank God I didn’t say anything that was just playing in my head or I’d feel like a real idiot.
Garrison takes my hand in his and our eyes meet. “It’s your choice, Sawyer, but whether we find him or not, you’ll at least get to see the lives she touched.”
I nod at his words although I’m scared as shit to meet the next two guys on our list. With Garrison beside me though, I know I can handle it. Squeezing his hand, I whisper, “As long as you go with me, then yes, I want to find him.”
His eyes soften, and he nods with a small smile on his lips. “Of course.”
Smiling, I take a deep breath, relieved that I’m not doing this alone.
Garrison
I like this. Sitting on the couch, holding Sawyer’s hand while she asks me to guide her through the next few days of emotional turmoil. I like being the guy she can depend on to walk her through the storm, the one she trusts to keep her from getting hurt. It’s a lot of responsibility and surprisingly, it doesn’t freak me out at all. I rub my thumb over the back of her hand, the two of us staring in each other’s eyes but I don’t want to run. Today was my last chance to run. I’ve been hurt in the past, a long time ago, and that’s why I was trying to keep my distance, but I don’t care anymore. Sawyer may be out of my life in a week or so but every day with her will keep me happy for all the days I’m not.
“Not all parents are bad,” she says softly.
I look up at her, confused by her random statement. “Yeah, I know that.”
Sawyer unfolds her legs from underneath her and scoots closer to me, not letting go of my hand. “I know we all judge things and people off our own life experiences and I just want you to know that not all parents are like yours. Even though there was my mom, she gave me an incredible childhood and always made me feel like her number one priority.”
I nod, still unsure where she’s going with this. “Yeah, I know. My parents are real grade A assholes, and most aren’t.” I pause as it dawns on me why she’s bringing this up. “Are you worried that your dad might be like my parents?”
“What?!” she exclaims. “No, well… okay, maybe, but that’s not the point.”
I nod my head slowly, squeezing her hand. “Alright, then, what is?”
Sawyer laughs nervously, and she shakes her head, her long hair falling over her shoulders. I reach out, taking a strand of her hair in my hand and rubbing my fingers over it. Timidly, Sawyer leans toward me, our eyes never losing contact with one another’s. Very softly, she touches her lips to mine. I close my eyes, sucking in my breath as we continue to kiss. Yes, this is what a kiss is supposed to be like, a conversation between two souls. My hand moves to her head, sliding my fingers through her hair and pulling her closer to me. Meanwhile, her hand anxiously run over my chest and shoulders. I want this, I need this, but I can’t let it go any further.
Reluctantly, I pull away, looking at Sawyer with her eyes closed and her lips still pursed. “Sam Ellington will be at the VFW tomorrow night. I’ll stop by in the morning and help you pack some more,” I say, turning the conversation back to business.
Sawyer lets out an exasperated sigh, not hiding her frustration with the abrupt end to our kiss. I smile and brush her hair out of her face. Leaning forward, I give her a gentle peck on the lips and stand up. When I look back at her, she’s shaking her head as she laughs at me. I smile as I head toward the door. We may only have a short time together but I’m not going to rush things with her either. Sawyer Kingham is a woman who deserves to be treated like the lady she is.