I was drunk.

I had never been drunk before, but there was no doubt in my mind that the feeling I was experiencing was what being drunk felt like. And I had fun getting to this point. Alec and I had eaten all the gas station food, and drunk the wine as we talked about memories at the lake. Laughing, teasing, joking around… it almost felt like we were truly on vacation again. That we weren’t at the lake because of any other reason. For right now, and for this night, it was just Alec and me having a good time. I needed it. I needed it more than I even realized, and I was so happy for my mother’s rule about the first night at the house to not be serious. Alec and I were far from serious as our laughter carried over the glassy smoothness of the lake.

Watching Alec top off our wine glasses with the rest of bottle number two—or maybe three—I giggled. “Papa never allowed me to drink.”

Alec stopped mid-pour and looked up at me with wide eyes. “Are you telling me this is your first time drinking wine? Drinking ever?”

I nodded and smiled wide as I giggled again. “Yup.”

“Fuck,” Alec said, shaking his head with a chuckle. “Your father is going to kill me.”

I huffed. “He was too overprotective. He never allowed me to do anything.” I held up my wine. “So if I want to drink wine and get drunk, I will. I can.” I stood up and wobbled to the edge of the porch. “I’m a grown woman now. I’m not the little girl you think I am,” I said as I turned and looked at Alec.

I caught his eyes scanning my body. “No, you are definitely all grown up.”

“Exactly,” I said as I pointed the wine glass forward as if to prove my point. “Do you know he never let me date? He never let me do anything. I was homeschooled after Mama died, and I literally never left the grounds of our estate. My only friends were the staff or their kids. I grew up in a damn bubble.”

“That’s too bad,” Alec said softly. “But your father had his reasons.”

I turned to face him directly. “It is too bad,” I slurred. “And I know he had his reasons. But I’m over it. I can get drunk if I want. I can be with a man if I want. I’m not going to die by doing so.” I took a long swallow of my wine. “It’s about time I live.”

“I agree. It is.”

“But who is going to want me?” I asked, turning my attention back to the lake. “Let’s be honest. I’m a woman trapped in a little girl’s life. I haven’t done anything a normal woman has at my age. I’m a damn freak.”

“You are not a freak,” Alec said, walking up to where I stood and placing his hand on my back to offer some comfort. “Far from it. Plenty of men will want you. It’s refreshing to see a woman who hasn’t been tainted by the hardships of life. Your father kept you protected like a gem. And trust me when I say that every man in the world would want that gem in his possession.”

“Do you think I’m pretty?” I asked as I turned to look at Alec. His face was close enough that I could see him clearly even in the darkness of the night.

“Extremely,” he admitted softly. “You look so much like your mother, but even more beautiful.” He reached out and brushed a piece of my hair behind my ear. “Like I said, any man would be lucky to have you.” He looked down at my wine glass. “And if I knew this was your first time drinking, I would have splurged for the good stu—” Alec glanced at the house and then back at me. “I just realized we have the wine cellar. It’s full of wine.” He looked down at his half empty glass and laughed. “We’ve been drinking this shit, when I could have gone downstairs and gotten us a bottle from there. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking.”

I laughed along with him but then shrugged. “To be honest, I wouldn’t know the difference between good wine and cheap wine.”

“Well you will tomorrow when you wake up with a headache. Cheap wine headaches are the worst.”

I stopped laughing and stared directly into Alec’s eyes, and then his lips. I wondered why my stomach was doing little flips at the proximity he was to me, and why I was curious what his lips would feel like on mine. I looked back into his eyes and saw that he too was watching my lips. Was he also wondering what they would feel like?

My inexperience and inability to read this situation confused me, and the wine only made it worse.

Feeling like I needed to say something to break the odd connection we’d just had, I said, “See? These are things I know nothing about. I’m twenty years old, and you are having to school me in the ways of cheap wine hangovers versus good wine hangovers. But tonight is the first time I haven’t felt like a child. You make me feel like an adult. Like an equal. But will I ever be an equal? Or will you always see me as little Makayla deep down?”

“I have to admit, it’s hard to imagine you as the little Makayla you once were. Especially how you look right now under the moonlight. Maybe it’s the booze talking, but I’ve never seen a more beautiful person.”

The blush took over my entire body without warning. I quickly looked away and tried to regain my composure.

Alec smirked. “I like the way you blush so easily.”

I slowly turned my head to look into Alec’s smiling eyes. The soft wrinkles at the edges gave his charm a sense of maturity. He kept my stare locked within his for what seemed like an eternity. I felt as if his gaze was single handedly melting my heart. Alec had a power over my emotions that I was not used to allowing or understanding. His strength, his casual demeanor, his aura just screamed out, Man.

Without looking away, Alec slowly leaned in toward me, with his lips only inches from mine. “We shouldn’t. It’s wrong. But it’s so hard to stop myself.”

I looked down at his mouth and then back into his eyes and softly whispered, “I don’t want you to stop.”

Alec moved closer, placed a hand on each side of my head, and softly pressed his lips to mine. The touch sent tingles through my entire body. My very first kiss. A kiss that I had no prediction would cause such a powerful and intense reaction in the depths of my core. His lips moved slowly along mine until I could feel his tongue lightly press past my lips to touch my own. The warmth, and the wetness, increased the desire building inside of me. His fingers caressed my hair softly as his tongue continued to explore. A kiss, the first kiss, was more than I could imagine. I could smell Alec, taste Alec and feel Alec. I wanted more. I wanted the kiss to last forever. Never wanted his lips to leave mine.

“We shouldn’t…” Alec murmured between our lips, yet he didn’t pull away.

The sound of his voice, muffled by the kiss, made me gasp. Never would I have thought I would feel so much power from a simple kiss. At that moment, the only thing I wanted was for Alec to never stop. His hands moved down my back, and he pulled me closer. My breasts pressed firmly to his rock hard chest. As our bodies merged, our kiss became more frenzied. Alec pressed his tongue deeper within my mouth. I responded by opening my mouth wider and dancing my tongue with his. My breath mixed with his, my gasps swallowed by the kiss. The all consuming, most mind-blowing kiss. A kiss that I’d never known could exist. With one single kiss, Alec—my uncle figure—had captured my heart.

Alec slowly pulled away and looked deep into my eyes. His brown eyes were glazed over, and desire coursed across his face. He ran a single finger along my jaw line and traced it along the edge of my lips. A small seductive smile formed as he leaned forward and kissed the tip of my nose.

“This can’t happen.”

“But… I don’t care. I want—”

“It’s wrong. So wrong,” he said, barely above a whisper.

I had so much I wanted to say. I had so much I wanted to get out, but the kiss had stolen all words from my mouth. I could only stare into his eyes and focus on breathing.

“But I’m so fucking weak,” Alec confessed as he brought his lips to mine again to give them a light brush, reminding me of the epic kiss only moments before. “But if we don’t stop here, I worry I won’t be able to stop ever.”

I didn’t want to stop. I didn’t want to do anything but continue with what we were doing. I wanted this. I did.

He pulled away and took a deep breath. “We’ve had too much to drink and need to get to bed. Sleep this off.”

He took hold of my hand and led me into the house. It was hard for me not to cross my arms in a pout. I had just had my first kiss of my entire life, and now we were going off to bed like it never happened.

“What bedroom do you want?” he asked as if nothing had just happened. As if we hadn’t just kissed on the porch. “You have your choice of any one. Do you want the master?”

I shook my head. “It feels weird sleeping in the room that Mama and Papa slept in.” I looked toward the right of the main room and pointed. “I’ll sleep where I always did. I always liked how my room opened up to the screened in porch. I can hear the birds chirping in the morning.”

Alec smiled. “I’ll take my usual room too. I love the view,” he said as he led me to my room, still holding my hand.

When we reached my room, Alec opened the door for me and followed me in. He walked over to the bed and pulled down the blankets. I stood in shock. Not sure what to make of what he was doing.

Was he tucking me in like a little girl?

Did he want to have sex?

Did I want to have sex? Yes… I think I did.

But I think Alec was simply pulling down the blankets before he went into his own room and nothing more?

The blush began to form without warning. I was thinking about having sex with Alec! Why was I thinking such crazy thoughts? Was this what wine did to you if you drank too much?

Alec turned, smiled warmly, and patted the bed. “Okay, come lay down. A good night’s rest will do you good.”

I shook my head. “I don’t want to be alone. This house is too big and…”

He walked over, grabbed my hand softly, and led me to the bed. He sat me down and took off my shoes without ever saying another word. He then took off his own and stretched out onto the bed, pulling me into his arms.

“If you aren’t going to rest by yourself, you are going to lie here in my arms and sleep.” Alec kissed my forehead and wrapped his arms tightly around me. “Now close your eyes, quiet your mind, and just lie down with me.”

He said the few words I needed to hear. He understood that unless he was to lie with me, force me, make me do what was needed, I would overthink and not be able to get my father out of my mind. Alec understood me.

I pressed my cheek to his chest and could hear his heartbeat beneath my face. His arms were wrapped around me, and his steady breathing was like a calm that washed over my soul. For that very second, I could just be relaxed. I could just be calm and be soothed. This was a sensation that I was not comfortable feeling, but before I could really process the emotions going through me, I fell asleep. I fell into a deep sleep in Alec’s strong arms.

* * *

What the fuck was I thinking?

What the hell was I doing?

This was Makayla!

Little fucking Makayla!

I was nothing but a dirty old man, and I was taking advantage of a sweet, innocent girl. What kind of monster had I become?

As I lay in her bed, holding her in my arms, I silently chastised myself for being so weak. I had fucking kissed her! No amount of wine could excuse my behavior.

But I couldn’t resist. The hours we talked into the late hours as the sun threatened to rise, I found talk so easy with her. I wasn’t a man who could just chit chat with many. Maybe years ago with Rhett and Minka, but that all changed. Relationships never worked for me because I couldn’t ever give much more than physical and the women, or I, eventually grew tired of that. But with Makayla… we had talked and laughed about the simplest things.

Maybe this was just my cowardly way of trying to block out the awful situation we were all in. Maybe this was my way of mourning my best friend. Or maybe this was just me being an asshole.

Makayla whimpered in her sleep and snuggled up even closer to me. Her pert tits pressed up against my side, and I about lost my damn mind. My cock painfully tenting my pants was going to make falling asleep next to impossible even though the sun was about to rise. I needed to get some sleep if I didn’t want to be completely useless for the rest of the day. Not to mention, I needed to sleep off this cheap wine drunk that caused me to fucking kiss Makayla!

I’m sorry, Rhett.

I’m so fucking sorry.

I would do better tomorrow. I vowed it so. I would keep my damn hands off Makayla no matter how hot this woman was. I had self-control.

I had self-control.

Fuck.

I hoped I had self-control.