Chapter Twenty One
The second Cole walked into the house, he made the decision that he wasn’t going to travel ever again. Without stopping, he immediately made his way to Hannah’s room where he found her fast asleep.
“Sorry, she just laid down for her nap,” Sierra whispered sweetly as she moved up close to his side. “I would’ve kept her awake if I knew you would be here so soon.” Cole pulled Sierra up beside him, leaning down so he could inhale her flowery scent, pressing his lips against the top of her head. God, he missed her.
Not wanting to wake Hannah, Cole laced his fingers with Sierra’s and led her out of the room and back to the living room.
For the entire five days he’d been gone, Cole had thought about both of his girls almost every minute. Even though Luke had stayed for one day with him, trying to convince him that he needed to talk to Travis – which he knew to be a lie, but loved the man even more for it – Cole still wanted nothing more than to be home with the three of them. As much as it pained him to stay the entire week and to watch Luke drive away, Cole needed time to himself. Time to think.
Now that he was home, he knew they probably needed to have a talk.
“Is Luke still at the club?”
“Yes. He said he’s leaving right at five.”
Cole nodded, trying to hold back the smile that the information caused. Although Cole and Luke had succumbed to healing their wounds by divulging in one another repeatedly during the time they were alone together in Austin, they’d managed to do some talking as well. Needless to say, they had both agreed that some changes were in order, and there was no need to put them off.
Cole led Sierra out onto the back patio, grabbing the baby monitor on his way so they could listen for Hannah while they were outside. He never let go of her hand until he was situated in one of the chairs, pulling her down on his lap where she snuggled against him easily.
“I missed you,” Sierra whispered.
“I missed you too, baby.” Cole brushed Sierra’s hair back, tucking it behind her ear as he glanced down at her where she rested her head against his shoulder.
“Luke said the two of you managed to talk some things out.” Sierra didn’t pose it as a question, but Cole sensed she was looking for some sort of affirmation that they were, in fact, good once again.
“I’m sorry I walked out the way I did,” Cole said first, intending to get into the details, but needing her to know that he realized he’d been wrong. “I should’ve talked to you and Luke first.”
Sierra lifted her head, giving Cole a front row view into ice blue eyes that saw so much more than he ever expected her to. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“No,” Cole slid his hand into her hair, gently pulling her close until their cheeks were pressed against one another. “Baby, you didn’t hurt me. I hurt myself.”
Sierra forced him to release her, obviously wanting to look him in the eye.
For the last week, Cole thought nonstop about what he could’ve done differently, and he wasn’t sure he could’ve done anything, aside from not running away when he should’ve stayed and fought for what he wanted. The selfish part of him told him that he needed for Luke to come after him the way that he did, needed to know that what he felt for him wasn’t one sided. That was the difference between Luke and Sierra, she might be busy, she might be just as distracted as Luke, but he didn’t have any doubts as to how she felt about him. Why that was, he still didn’t understand.
“You aren’t the only one who did some thinking while you were gone.”
Cole watched as Sierra fidgeted with the two rings on her left hand, watching as she turned them repeatedly over and over on her finger, as though she were searching for the right words to say. He didn’t say a word, unsure where she was going and scared he was about to find out.
“A lot has happened between the three of us in the last year. We not only found one another, but we fell in love, moved in together and most importantly decided to have a baby together. That’s a lot for such a short period of time.”
Cole wasn’t sure he agreed. At his age, he was ready to settle down, had been for a while, but hadn’t found what he was looking for until Sierra and Luke. Now that he had the family he never thought possible, he wasn’t willing to let anything come between them. Not even his own insecurities. At least not anymore.
“I’ve questioned our circumstances, just like I know you and Luke have. The fact that we can’t get married… and I’m not talking about a piece of paper that the state blesses us with. That’s not what marriage is to me.”
“Who says we can’t?” Cole asked suddenly. They had a reception to announce to their family and friends the status of their relationship more so because Luke wanted to shout it from the rooftops when he finally accepted what was in his heart for so long. “It won’t be legal, but there isn’t anything to say that we can’t have a ceremony.”
A small smile tipped Sierra’s lips and her eyes sparkled. “You’d do that for me?”
“Baby, I’d do anything for you.” Cole cupped her face with his hands, loving how soft her skin was, how big his hands were in comparison to her. “I want you to know that. To trust me. To know that no matter what, the most important things in the world to me are you, Hannah and Luke.”
“I do trust you, but that goes both ways,” Sierra whispered, sounding as though she were hesitant to call him on his insecurities.
“I know that.” Cole glanced past her, not seeing anything in the distance aside from his own thoughtful reflection of the things he’d been dealing with over the last few days. He knew where she was going with this, and he agreed.
“Cole, we’ve had so much change in our lives over the last year. Always something more to do, something else to worry about tomorrow. Life’s going to be that way. We’re going to be busy. We’re blessed to have what we have. Family. Friends. The club. Each other. It’s not going to be a smooth road, but we need to talk it out. If you need more attention, which I think all three of us feel that we do, ask for it.”
Cole knew that was easier said than done. He’d had this same conversation with himself on more than one occasion. He’d put the blame on Sierra and Luke because they were so involved with their jobs while Cole was disgruntled with his. That wasn’t their fault. He hadn’t even shared what he and Alex had talked about.
The tips of Sierra’s soft fingers touched his chin, turning his face gently to look into her eyes. “I don’t want to hear about what’s happening with you from my best friend.”
Cole’s brow furrowed as he tried to understand what she was getting at.
“Ashleigh told me that you gave Alex your notice.”
That.
No, he hadn’t shared that information with Sierra. There were several reasons, the least of which was that he didn’t want her to worry. Cole knew money wasn’t something they had to worry about, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to be a contributing member of their family. He’d had his doubts, worried that he had been impulsive in his decision to leave CISS. He still wasn’t sure whether it was the right decision or not, but now that he was home, he fully intended to work on that.
“I think it was the right decision,” Sierra added, causing Cole to tilt his head in question.
“You do?” He hadn’t imagined getting Sierra’s support on his decision. He had no reason to believe otherwise, but for some reason, he felt as though he’d let her down without talking to her first. He already knew how Luke felt, they’d had a brief discussion about him coming to work with him, not for him Luke had clarified. Cole had yet to discuss anything further with Luke, but he hoped to soon.
“I do. You weren’t happy. I’m not sure even you realize how much you try to carry everyone else’s burden. Even when it isn’t yours to carry. Remember Lucie? You walked around for years carrying her secret with you because you cared about her. I’m glad things worked out for her, but she shouldn’t have put you in that position. We don’t tend to think about it because of who you are.”
Sierra pulled his face a little closer, keeping her eyes locked on his before she continued, “You’re the man who saves the world. Not the man who merely tries. You’re the man who comes through for everyone, even at your own expense. Well, I’m the woman who loves you, and I’m not willing to sit back any longer and let anyone take advantage of you. Including yourself.”
Cole’s heart struck up a heavy beat, his chest constricting. He knew he’d become a sounding board for his friends, knew he was often the guy who stepped up to the plate when no one else did. It wasn’t something he could stop doing though.
“Don’t get me wrong,” Sierra said, lightly brushing her lips against his. “You’re the most loyal, most honorable man I know. I would never want you to change that. I just want you to be put first more often.”
It was as though she had a portal into his thoughts. She understood him. Probably more than he understood himself.
Cole couldn’t resist kissing Sierra right then, tipping her head with his hands and allowing his tongue to slide past her smooth, sexy lips. He could get lost in her. Day, night. It didn’t matter. Whenever he had the opportunity to put his mouth to hers, the entire world could fall apart around him, and he wouldn’t care.
“We don’t do this nearly enough,” Sierra whispered against his lips.
“No, I would have to agree, you don’t,” Luke’s gruff voice sounded from behind him and Cole didn’t try to look, he just smiled.
“Hey,” Sierra smiled up at him.
“No, don’t let me interrupt,” Luke insisted with a smile in his voice, pulling out one of the chairs from the patio table and moving it around so that he had a clearer view of the two of them. “I think it’s been far too long since I got to watch.”
Cole felt the slight shiver that ran through Sierra. The smile tipping her lips was bright enough to rival the sun any day. When she turned her attention back to Cole, he pulled her face closer, letting his lips press to hers again, his body immediately responding to Luke’s presence and the soft, pliant woman sitting in his lap.
“Do you care to direct as well?” Sierra asked as she peered over at him, her lips still brushing against Cole’s.
Cole was a little surprised at how excited Sierra was getting. It was still fully daylight outside, and although the entire yard was discreetly hidden from prying eyes by various trees and plants outlining it, they didn’t generally engage in these types of activities outside in broad daylight.
“Don’t mind if I do,” Luke answered, crossing one ankle over the opposite knee as he regarded them both silently for a moment. “Let’s start by removing his shirt. That’ll provide some serious incentive.”
Cole grinned, looking up at Sierra as she sat up straighter, then shifted so she was straddling his legs on the chair. He had to move to allow her more room because the metal armrests were almost in her way. When her cool fingers slid beneath the waistband of his jeans, and underneath his shirt, he sucked in a deep breath. She took her time lifting his shirt, trailing her fingers up along his chest as she went.
Cole wasn’t a vain man, but he admittedly worked hard for the body that he had. He didn’t cheat on his diet, and he routinely worked out. He’d done it for most of his life, although lately, he’d done it more for these two. The way they looked at him, their eyes devouring him when he went without a shirt, or when he was naked, was more inspiration than he’d ever had before.
Like now. Although he kept his eyes trained on Sierra’s face, he could see in his peripheral vision how Luke was watching him just as intently.
“So beautiful,” Sierra whispered. “I love to kiss you right here.” Her lips pressed against his right pec, directly above his nipple and the muscle beneath instantly hardened. “And here,” she said as she left a wet, hot trail down to his nipple with her tongue. He didn’t try to hold back the growl that her ministrations pulled from deep in his chest. When she used her teeth to tease his nipple until it hardened in her mouth, he instinctively grabbed the back of her head and held her closer, not wanting her to stop.
“It wouldn’t be fair not to give the other one the same attention,” Sierra mouthed the words as she moved her lips across his chest.
At this rate, Cole wasn’t sure he was going to be able to hold out for whatever Luke had in mind.
But he sure as hell intended to try.