Chapter Four
Chase
I could feel her fingers around me with only a few inches separating her from touching something unfurling in my pants. The memory was too fresh for me to make any untoward moves. The emotional pain woke me up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. Nightmares were something I had learned to live with.
This wasn’t the first time I had been to Arlington cemetery in the middle of the night. I had an understanding with the security guard who didn’t mind turning a blind eye for $100. He gave me a dismissive wave after clutching the bonus in his greedy fist on top of his meager salary.
It was awe-inspiring to be surrounded by the ghosts walking during the witching hour. I could almost close my eyes and hear them whispering my name.
“I wasn’t lying when I said I was going to make your birthday something memorable. Life is hard, but it could be a whole lot worse. I might be prone to violence, but only when I’m provoked. You can’t tell me being here doesn’t make you feel small in comparison.” Every life had meaning. They all had families waiting for them to come home only to be given the harsh news of their untimely end.
She was still a little shaky, but it was the flush along her chest that made me smile. A woman was a sucker for the feelings they got from a motorcycle. They could never understand the glint in a woman’s eyes until they experienced it for themselves.” I took a solemn walk amongst the graves with the sound of her footsteps following in tune with mine.
“I should be scared of what lies in the dark, but I’m not. I feel safe like each one of these fallen soldiers is still doing their job by protecting the innocent. I don’t know how quite to describe it.” She stumbled and grabbed onto my shoulders for support.
“It’s a humbling feeling. I count myself lucky to be mentioned in the same breath as many of these soldiers. They paved the way for the rest of us to commit to a higher calling than a normal everyday 9 to 5 existence.” A light snow was falling, but it wasn’t cold enough to stick to the pavement.
“It seems I have a lot to learn. My job isn’t as glamorous as yours. I deal with the numbers in accounting. I make sure Black Net is cost effective. It’s not always easy with Mr. Dane playing fast and loose with the cash.” She looked chilled to the bone.
“Everybody plays their part to make the company a success. Mason is a man who wants his people to have the best equipment money can buy. You can’t scrimp on what’s important. It could be the difference between life and death.” I didn’t mean to give her a lecture. I was very passionate about those who put their lives on the line every day.
“I think I finally understand why it’s so important. I always thought he was frivolous. It took a lot of effort to get him to see the bottom line. I don’t think he really thinks about money. That’s my job and I’m very good at it.” I’d heard some rumors about her about to come to blows with Mason over some monetary discrepancies. She wasn’t about to let anybody walk over the thin line. Somebody had to be the bad guy and she had appointed herself with the responsibility.
“Not many people have been able to see things through my eyes. You might be the first in a long time who wasn’t military born and bred to understand the sacrifices others have made in the name of peace. Most placate by wearing poppy pins. They think they know, but there’s no way they could without firsthand knowledge.” My words had affected her on a deeper level than I was imagining.
“I have a deep affection for those who serve their country.” Her scent was driving me crazy and I leaned forward to get a little closer.
“There’s always an underlying reason for someone to have this kind of reaction. If I were to hazard a guess, I would say you lost someone very important to you. I don’t think it was a family member, but maybe somebody you felt at the time was not taking your feelings into account by enlisting.” I took off my leather jacket and draped it over her shoulders with her fingers holding it in place.
“I don’t need anybody being a backseat therapist. Let’s just say that I didn’t get my closure and leave it at that. I hate to be brusque, but we don’t really know each other. By your own admission, some things are better left alone.” She was using my words against me and it felt like an uppercut trying to knock me down for the count.
The silence was deafening with only the sound of our feet pushing through the snow. I had one final resting place I wanted to visit and I wasn’t about to take no for an answer. He was my mentor and the guiding force for the reason I stepped in front of danger without even thinking about it twice.
“I’m sorry if I stepped over any boundaries. It was never my intention to make you relive something painful from your past. I know how that feels. I should know better than to inflict that kind of harm on anyone regardless of my curiosity getting the best of me.” I found her easy to talk to and someone uniquely qualified to understand the crippling loss of someone important.
“It wasn’t fair to raise my voice. It’s not ladylike. I thought I put those feelings in the past where they belong. I guess they are closer than they appear.” Gail was getting hot under the collar.
Those watching from above gave me a reason to keep going. Their ghosts made me stronger every waking minute of my life.
“You have nothing to apologize for. I purposely brought you out here to metaphorically slap you across the face with the truth. I’m always trying to open people’s eyes. I sometimes forget how passionate I can be on this subject.” The light sports coat did very little to ward off the natural elements of Mother Nature.
“My parents forgot about me when they thought I was old enough to take care of myself. I grew up quickly learning to fend off bullies with more than kind words. I have the fierceness of a female lion roaring inside me.” It sounded like she had learned to grow up quickly. This was something we had in common.
I led her to a grave with a flashlight in my hand to show us the way. The name brought back painful memories. I deemed it necessary to think about those memories that made me smile. Michael Mills was someone who had taught me some life lessons.
“My father believed I was destined for big things. It wasn’t until 911 when I realized his words had meaning behind them. I went after the cowards. Michael has been whispering in my ear from the moment he was laid to rest. He was my brother from another mother growing up. He was one of the first responders going into the towers.” There was a catch in my throat and I had to turn away from her to prevent her from seeing a modicum of weakness.
Her hand on my shoulder was a reassuring gesture of compassion. She didn’t have to say anything and it was the way that she squeezed my muscle that said more than words. She didn’t try to break up the silence with unnecessary idle chitchat.
I saw something out of the corner of my eye and it made my blood run cold. I saw a dead scorpion laying on its back a couple of feet away from Michael’s grave. Operation Scorpion was only known to a select few. I felt like I was in the crosshairs of somebody’s long-range rifle capable of bringing me down with a single shot.
“I would like to hear more about Michael in your own words.” I could hear her voice, but it was sounding like it was coming from the end of a tunnel.
“Michael would be the first one to tell me to stop acting like a child and grow up. He would never understand the reason why I come back here to talk to him whenever I have the chance. He’s the main reason why I left the military to avoid becoming just another statistic.” I stared at the dead scorpion knowing full well the details of the mission were redacted for a reason.
“Free will is something never to be taken for granted. You have every right to feel the way you do.” It was interesting to get to know her, but we had barely scratched the surface. It was almost as if we were daring one another to reveal more than we should.
I waited until her back was turned before shuffling my feet to cover the scorpion in a fresh layer of snow. I looked around, but it was pitch black and the possibility of somebody lurking in the shadows was causing me some concern.
I drove us back, preoccupied with the vision of the scorpion running around in my mind. There were a few close shaves during some hairpin turns along the back roads. I’m sure she had her heart leaping out of her throat.
Gail didn’t object or scream in defiance when she finally got off the motorcycle. I dropped her off at her car. It was custom made blood red Charger. It was definitely going to stand out from the crowd.
“I didn’t take you for a muscle-car enthusiast. I should remember never to judge a book by its cover. You might have a studious outer exterior with the glasses and very little makeup, but you have layers. Yours is a natural beauty rarely seen these days.” She gave me my jacket and I put it on with her adjusting the collar with your fingernails grazing the outer side of my neck.
I impulsively tried to kiss her, but she moved her lips in time to have the kiss planted on her cheek.
“It has been a very interesting evening, but I believe this is where we say good night.” There was an ice-cold edge to her tone of voice. I didn’t think it was a good idea to push any further than I already did.
“Gail, I thought I was getting a vibe from you. If our signals got crossed then I profusely apologize for doing anything to make you feel uncomfortable.” She was blushing with embarrassment and was touching her cheek where my lips had previously vacated.
The street lamp above lit up her smile like the 4th of July. She put her hand on my cheek and sighed deeply with what I could only assume was regret for not taking a chance. I was glad she was a little bit staid in her approach. I was still wearing the ball and chain around my ankle. This was no time to start something new.
“I do like you, but I would rather not tempt fate. Karma is a bitch. You don’t remind me of any other guy I’ve been out with recently. I know from personal experience they would have suggested a nightcap back at their place with the intention of getting me out of my clothes. The kiss would’ve been an opening. I’m shutting the door before you have a chance to use it.” The wind chill in the air was not the only thing freezing me at a sub-zero below temperature.
“I would like to know what keeps you up at night tossing and turning in your sheets. I know it’s none of my business and you can certainly tell me to go to hell.” I was waiting with bated breath to find out what her response was going to be.
“It’s late and we both have to get up early in the morning for work.” She was quick to get into her car and gun the engine to life. I didn’t tell her about my wife and how she died. It wasn’t the right time.
There were enough horses under the hood to leave a telltale trail of black tar in her wake. I had found a kindred spirit, but there was no way I could allow her to get close without endangering her life. I could feel what I could only describe as a phantom presence of her on my lips. I could only imagine what the real thing would be like.