Alena

 

After what felt like forever, Cole arrived at the bar. I was one of the only people left inside by then, and I was all cried out. I got the feeling the waitresses and bartender were waiting for me to leave so they could go, but there was no way I’d step foot outside without Cole nearby.

 

At one point, a waitress brought me over some tissues and a glass of water. They knew me—this was one of my regular gigs—but we weren’t exactly close, so no one asked why I was so upset. I was grateful for their discretion since I didn’t know what I would have said if I’d been forced to give a reason. “I’m crying because I think my sister is dead, and the people who killed her might be after me.” That wasn’t exactly the sort of thing you told a near-stranger.

 

Finally, there was Cole, riding up on his bike. I’d never ridden a motorcycle before, but that didn’t matter. I needed to get the hell away from the bar, the car, and whoever might have been waiting for me. I hated to have such paranoid thoughts, but I couldn’t help it. That message had unsettled me.

 

I waited while he looked my car over. His hands curled into fists, and there was tension in every part of his body. I knew he wasn’t happy, and I saw his lips moving as he circled the car as though he was muttering to himself.

 

Then he saw me, sitting by the door, and waved me out. I flew to him, letting him hold me for a minute. For that one minute, everything felt okay. I wasn’t afraid of anything. It was just me, and him. Our bodies fit perfectly together, like it was meant to be. I closed my eyes and let him take some of the worries from my shoulders. It felt so good to let go. I wasn’t alone in this. He was my protection.

 

“Are you all right?” he asked, stroking my hair.

 

“No,” I replied. “I’m not all right at all. What does this mean?”

 

“I’m not sure,” he said. “I’ve been thinking about it the whole way here, and I’m not sure.” I felt tension in his body when he said it. His arms held me a little tighter, too. Was he just as worried as I was? No, that wasn’t possible. He was strong. Nothing could stop him or threaten him. Right?

 

Why was his heart beating so fast under my ear, then?

 

“Do you know who did this?” I asked.

 

He didn’t answer. All he did was take me by the arm and lead me to the bike. I was too upset to ask any further questions, and allowed him to strap a helmet on my head before he climbed on in front of me.

 

“Put your arms around my waist,” he said. “You’ll be fine.”

 

I did as he said, only half hearing him. My mind was too focused on those words scrawled on my windshield.

 

Riding home on the bike was a new experience, one which I wished I could be in a better frame of mind for. I might have enjoyed it if my heart wasn’t being ripped open. Trees, homes, other cars—it all went by in a blur, the wind blowing back my hair. I leaned my head gently against Cole’s back. Feeling his strength and taking some of it for myself. He would help me. He could protect me. I knew I could trust him to stand between me and whatever was happening around me. I only wished he could have done the same for Sara. A single tear rolled down my cheek.

 

Had she ever done this? I knew she would have loved riding a motorcycle like this one. She always loved thrills. When we went to amusement parks, she’s always gravitated to the roller coasters. The higher and faster, the better. Once, she rode so many times in a row she lost her lunch in a trashcan just outside the queue area. Then she got back in line and rode again. I smiled to myself, remembering that fearless girl.

 

Was she afraid in the end?

 

I squeezed Cole’s waist without meaning to. “Easy!” I heard him call back to me, and I loosened my grip. I looked at the back of his head—he’d given me his helmet, and every so often I caught a view of his profile when he looked from left to right at an intersection. He was so handsome, so rugged. And one of his friends had killed my sister.

 

I couldn’t let go of the idea that he had to know something. It made no sense that he wouldn’t. He was close with these men, like brothers. He’d told me so himself. So how could he know absolutely nothing about what these men did—especially when my sister had been hanging out with the club? She wasn’t some random girl one of the members had picked up somewhere. She was a familiar face.

 

The patch of the club was on the back of Cole’s kutte, and I looked at it as we rode. A grim reaper standing behind a tombstone. Gee, how original. What made people want to be part of something like this? Were they criminals in the first place, or did the club make criminals out of them? I wondered again who Cole had been before joining. With his charisma and cockiness, he could have made an amazing stock trader or lawyer. He had the attitude for it. Instead, this was where he put his energy. What a waste. They killed girls and did nothing to pay for their crimes.

 

I didn’t feel that he was like them, and my feelings were all I had to go on. The way he instinctively made me feel. He wasn’t like them, but he was protecting at least one of them. He wouldn’t kill a girl, but he would protect someone who did. Wasn’t that just as bad? Didn’t he deserve blame, too?

 

I didn’t want to blame him. I wanted to keep a hold on to him. He was all I had. My port in the storm.

 

Soon we were back at my house. Cole climbed from the bike, then unfastened my helmet and helped me off. I was shaky, still feeling the vibration between my legs. It hadn’t been unsexy, that was for sure.

 

Only when we were inside did he speak to me again.

 

“I’ll have one of my guys pick up your car, if you give him the keys,” he said. “I asked him to meet us here. He’ll have the windshield replaced for you tonight, and it should be back in your driveway tomorrow morning.”

 

I was grateful to him, but couldn’t shake the impression that he was doing this because he knew one of his own was guilty of vandalizing the car in the first place. It was the least he could do, in other words. This was little consolation to me. He couldn’t bring my sister back, so I didn’t care much about a stupid car.

 

Still, I had to get around, and didn’t feel like explaining to a body shop owner what the spray paint meant. “Thanks,” I mumbled, slipping out of my jacket and boots. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep forever. There was too much happening in my head and my heart for anything much to seep through.

 

“Did you see anyone around the car when you first came out of the bar?” he asked. I shook my head. “No spray cans anywhere on the ground around the car?” Another shake of my head. I’d been hyper-observant in those first few moments, and I didn’t remember seeing anything or anyone out of the ordinary.

 

“This doesn’t make any sense,” he said, more to himself than to me.

 

I only half-registered his words, but when I did, I looked at him. “What doesn’t?”

 

“Huh?” He didn’t even know he’d spoken his thoughts aloud.

 

“I said, what doesn’t make any sense?”

 

“Oh…I was just thinking, what would make a person leave a message like that? It doesn’t make any sense. You were already…warned.”

 

“Threatened, you mean.”

 

He winced. “Okay. Threatened. Why did they have to do this, then?”

 

I shrugged. “Maybe I came too close already. Maybe they don’t like how close I am with you now.”

 

He shook his head, sitting on the sofa with his arms outstretched to either side. He seemed to dwarf the piece of furniture. “No,” he said. “No one knows. At least, I don’t think they do.”

 

“Are you going to tell me you don’t know who’s doing this? After I had a knife held to my throat, and now a threatening message left on my car? Are you seriously still defending this person and telling me you don’t know who they are? Come on. No one you know is that desperate?”

 

“Let it go, Alena,” he said. He glared at me. “Let it go. Let that message be a final warning, and let it go. I don’t want to see you getting into this any deeper than you already have.”

 

That wasn’t good enough for me. I threw my hands into the air and went to the kitchen for a glass of water. I couldn’t look at him right then. I’d gone from relief to disgust in record time.

 

But he followed me. “You forget something,” he said. “You’ve been so focused on the club, you’re missing the chance that this has to do with some outside person.”

 

“Oh, please,” I muttered, my back to him.

 

“Why is it so easy to blame us, and so hard to believe it’s someone else?” he asked.

 

“Because it’s so damned convenient!” I turned to face him and was immediately stricken by how close he stood. His presence threatened to overwhelm me, but I fought to keep control of myself long enough to speak my peace. “Why the hell would one of your buddies hold a knife to my throat, then?”

 

“Did you see this person? Maybe it wasn’t even one of us!”

 

“What fantasy world do you live in?” I spat. “Of course it was one of you! What, random people just happen to hang out in front of the bar you party in? Waiting for girls to come out so they can pin them to the side of the building and scare them half to death! Come on. I know who it was.”

 

“Who?” His voice sounded different. Suspicious, almost.

 

“The guy I talked to outside. The one with the cigarette, who looked like he hadn’t slept in days. I told you about him. I know it was him. He never came inside after I went in. He was waiting for me. Don’t ask me how I know this. I just do.”

 

I watched as Cole’s face fell. He knew who I meant. I knew he did. He was just too afraid to tell me. It was hard to believe a man like him could be afraid, but there was definite fear in his eyes.

 

The doorbell rang. “Saved by the bell,” I muttered, and I pushed my way past him to get to the front door. A man was standing there, wearing the same kutte as Cole did. He was a scary-looking man, but when his mouth opened to speak, he was very respectful.

 

“I’m here to pick up your car keys, ma’am.”

 

“Thank you,” I said, handing him the keys. “You can call me Alena.”

 

Cole came up behind me. I tried not to tense when I felt his presence. “You and Alan, pick up the car and drop it off here when it’s ready.”

 

“Sure thing,” he said to Cole. He looked at me. “I should have it back for you by morning.”

 

“Thank you,” I said. I didn’t want to know exactly where he was taking it, just that it was getting done. Since when did I do business with criminals? Oh, right. Since they made it their business to screw with my life. I watched as he got into a car with another man, who I guessed was Alan, and drove away.

 

I sighed. Now that our argument had ended, it seemed silly. I leaned my head back against Cole’s chest. “I’ve never felt scared like this before. Don’t you see? I have no idea how to navigate any of this. Who to trust, who not to trust, where to go from here. I have to trust you, and I do. But when I feel like you’re holding back from me, it’s not easy to do that.”

 

His arms circled me. God, it felt so good when he held me like that. I felt like nothing could hurt me, as long as his arms were around me.

 

“I know. I wish there were something I could say that would help you feel better, except that I’m doing my best to keep you safe. I swear it. You don’t have anything to worry about now.”

 

I didn’t believe him, and I could tell from the sound of his voice that he didn’t believe himself.

 

It didn’t matter at the moment. All I wanted at that moment was him. I had to feel him close to me, to wipe out all the worry and stress of the day.

 

I turned to him, kicking the door closed behind me. He pushed me against it, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. When his head tipped down toward me, and our mouths met, it was like coming home again. Nothing else mattered when I was in his arms.

 

His mouth moved slowly against mine, not roughly like it sometimes did. His kiss was sensual, getting me wet in moments. There was so much promise in his lips, and in his tongue as it pried its way into my mouth. I moaned when it touched mine.

 

I felt like I might melt into a puddle, he so overtook me. The force of him. He was going to get what he wanted, but he took his time about it. I would have laid down right there and let him do whatever he needed to do, but instead of taking what I was happy to give him, he wanted to draw me further and further out until I was ready to explode.

 

His tongue moved in slow circles against mine. I groaned again, desperate for more. I moved against him, bringing my leg up between his to rub against him. He laughed slightly, pulling away. I whimpered when his lips broke contact with mine.

 

“You’re wild,” he whispered, his face close to mine. “I never would have thought that about you when we first met.”

 

“Oh yeah?” I asked. “You thought I was a prude or something?” My fingers traced a light pattern on the back of his neck, making him squirm and sigh.

 

“Yeah. I should have known, though. You were such a hellcat. All that fire had to come out somehow.”

 

I laughed, then sighed when one of his hands ran down my body.

 

He lifted me to his waist, and my legs wrapped around him. Now I was wedged between him and the door, holding onto his body to keep from falling. His growing erection pressed against my crotch, and the pressure made me burn for more. He was so close, but so far away.

 

We kissed again, harder this time. More urgently. Play time was over. We both wanted the real thing. I shrugged out of my cardigan, and his mouth was instantly on my neck and nearly bare shoulders. He slid down one of the straps and licked my skin. I groaned, humping against him.

 

“Table,” I gasped, pointing to the kitchen. It was closer than the bed. He carried me to it, laying me across it. I worked on my pants while he worked on his. He didn’t even take off my panties, only pulling the fabric aside before he buried himself in me.

 

“Cole!” I cried out, my back arching when he slammed himself home. I shuddered, nearly coming from that alone. He didn’t waste time, pounding me mercilessly. I urged him on, wanting him to take me harder and faster. I wanted him to lose himself, and make me lose myself. I wanted to forget everything around us. The harder he fucked me, the easier it was.

 

“Yes! Yes!” I screamed, tightening around him as I came. My legs clenched around him, holding him deep inside me while I exploded.

 

He waited until I finished, only to start moving again as soon as I stopped twitching around him. Now he took his time, grinding himself slowly into me. I groaned, this new sensation even better than it was before. I slid my tank top up and over my head, and instantly his hands were on my tits. I pulled him closer, deeper, with my legs. I wanted to close my eyes and lose myself, but then I would lose sight of the man who was giving me all this pleasure.

 

“Feels so good,” I whispered, and was rewarded with a strong thrust which made me moan his name. Now I did close my eyes, throwing back my head. He pushed himself into me again and again, pushing everything else further away when he did. I wanted it. I was desperate for it. If only this would never end.

 

He couldn’t keep up that slow pace for much longer, his own need for satisfaction too much to hold back. Soon he was driving himself into me again, harder, faster, deeper. He grunted as he thrusted, louder the closer he came to release. I moved with him, thrusting against him, wanted to come as much as he did. Then he moved so fast it was almost a blur, making me scream his name until my throat was hoarse as I came again. This time, he came along with me.

 

It was all so good. I was floating in a deep darkness where there was nothing but pleasure. I didn’t want to open my eyes for fear of breaking the spell.

 

But I had to, of course. And when I did, I found a god smiling down at me. Or an angel. A dark angel.

 

He slid from me, and I tentatively sat up. We were both a mess, clothes everywhere. He was still wearing his t-shirt, but everything else was gone, strewn around the place. I couldn’t help laughing.

 

Then he swept me up into his arms, carrying me upstairs and putting me on my feet outside the bathroom door.

 

“You’ve been a dirty girl,” he said. “We need to clean you up. I wanna try a few things I was thinking about while I was in here earlier today.”

 

Had that really only been earlier in the day? It seemed like a lifetime ago. I turned on the water, letting it run hot before stepping inside. I held out a hand to him, which he took after pulling his shirt over his head. His body never ceased to amaze me, with its rippling muscle. Strength ran through every bit of him—including the part that was now standing erect again. He was insatiable.

 

I let the water run over me while I faced him. He watched, fascinated, as it made paths over my shoulders and arms, breasts and stomach, hips and thighs.

 

Then I held out my arms, and he stepped into the spray with me. I rested the side of my head against his broad chest, that strong heartbeat reminding me of the strength of the man who held me. I didn’t have to be afraid of anything as long as he held on to me. I wanted him never to let go.

 

Then his hands got busy, and other thoughts crept into my head. Those thoughts were already in his head, judging from the way his hard cock pressed against me. His hands went lower, taking hold of my ass.

 

“Mmm…” I moaned, my head still resting against him. I closed my eyes, focusing on the way it felt when he groped me like that. The heat from the water wasn’t what made the heat spread between my legs.

 

“So fucking sexy,” he muttered, playing with me. I sighed, swiping my tongue over one of his nipples, then biting down gently. He gasped, his length twitching against me.

 

He spun me so fast I almost fell, but his strong hands caught me and held me upright. Then he was lifting one of my legs, placing my foot on the edge of the tub before sliding into me from behind.

 

“Oh, fuck…” I moaned, taken by surprise by his forcefulness. Of course I wanted this, and I moved with him as he rocked me. “So good…”

 

“Yeah…yeah, baby…” he grunted, driving himself home again. He reached around to my front, grabbing my breasts, playing with them as he thrusted. I moaned in approval. He pinched my nipples, and I cried out for more.

 

“That’s right…fuck me…” I moaned, pushing back against him as hard as I could. He unlocked something inside me, something I never knew was there. Now nothing was enough. I needed him to give me everything he had, for as long as he could. Words I’d rarely spoken even in the height of ecstasy came flowing out of my mouth.

 

When he sped up, slamming against me, I screamed and shook, falling against the wall of the shower. For a minute, all I heard was the running water and the sound of the two of us catching our breath.

 

Then I felt his hands on me, and it was enough to make me straighten up and turn to face him. He was washing my body, slowly, gently.

 

He’d soaped up his hands, and they glided over my neck, down to my shoulders, then down my arms. I lifted them so he could do the underside, then he moved further down to my sides. His hands were so big they could nearly circle my waist, and I closed my eyes at the feeling of them running over my wet skin. He was so big and powerful, but so careful with me.

 

I sighed when he soaped up my breasts, the body wash making excellent lube. I opened my eyes, seeing the look on his face as he played with them. He squeezed and kneaded, stroked, tweaked. It was all heavenly, and I closed my eyes again to focus on the pleasure he was giving me.

 

Soon he moved further down, and I was ready for him. His hands cupped my butt, stroking it just as they had my breasts, his fingers dipping into my cleft. I cried out softly, holding onto Cole’s shoulders for balance as my nerves sizzled and burned under his hands.

 

Then he moved to my legs, crouching to reach my feet. His hands moved back up, between my legs. He took more soap in his hands, then knelt.

 

“Spread your legs,” he commanded. I did as I was told, lifting one foot up to the edge of the tub again. I watched as he washed me, his soapy hands skimming my sensitive skin. It was almost too much to take, between the sensation of being touched so intimately and the sight of his face when he did it to me. He was rapt with attention, his mouth open slightly as his breathing got heavier. When his fingers slid into my wetness, I cried out. He ran them over my folds, back and forth, driving me wild. I bucked against his hand, needing to come again, and he sped his motions until I was screaming his name. The sound echoed off the walls as my whole body shuddered.

 

I couldn’t believe how many times I’d come already, my knees weak and shaking. I was dimly aware of him rinsing me off, then standing in front of me.

 

“My turn,” he murmured. I knew what he meant. I squirted soap on him and ran my hands over his body, front and back. I loved having the chance to worship his beauty, the way he always worshiped me. I watched, fascinated, as my fingers trailed over his shoulders, his bulging pecs and washboard abs. By the time I got to his butt, so round and perfect, I was getting wet again. He did that to me. Just when I thought I couldn’t take any more, he found a way to turn me on all over again. He didn’t even have to try.

 

“Holy shit,” he whispered when my hand circled his erect member. I reached up with my other hand and pulled his head down for a kiss, holding him to me while I stroked him. My tongue darted around his mouth, licking his lips, tangling with his tongue. He groaned, taking handfuls of my hair in his hands and pulling me from his mouth.

 

“Suck it,” he grunted, pushing me to my knees.

 

I didn’t feel threatened or forced—in fact, it turned me on even more when he told me what to do. I rinsed the soap from him and had him in my mouth in seconds. He cried out, thrusting into me.

 

He was still holding onto my head, so I handed control over to him. He held me still at first, sliding in and out. I used my tongue on the underside of the shaft, pressing hard against it. He sighed, thrusting harder. I knew it was driving him crazy, and I loved knowing I could make him feel good.

 

Then he moved my head back and forth on him, and once I got the rhythm he wanted me to keep he let go and I took over. He still gave shallow little thrusts into my mouth, but I bobbed up and down, doing most of the work. When I touched his balls, rolling them in my hands, it was enough to leave him groaning my name.

 

“I’m gonna come!” he grunted.

 

I decided to blow his mind, taking him from my mouth and jerking him as fast as I could until he was coming on my tits. One, two, three splashes hit me, until his fluids covered me.

 

“Holy shit,” he whispered. I got to my feet, washing my chest. He held me tight against me, his front to my back. “You’re insane,” he said. I knew he meant it as a compliment.

 

Then we were in my room, drying off. He dried me first, taking his time. Again, he was so gentle. Who would have imagined this big, powerful man could be so gentle with a woman? I felt completely taken care of, and completely turned on at the same time. I knew from the way his towel tented in the front that he wanted even more of me, and my body responded eagerly as it always did.

 

We fell back onto the bed, arms and legs wrapped around each other. We rolled around, back and forth, as we kissed and touched each other’s bodies. Now we were playful, just taking the time to enjoy each other before getting to the frantic heat we always seemed to build toward.

 

My need for him finally won out, and I tried to roll him onto his back. I wanted to be on top and ride him as I had before, but he was making it impossible. He laughed as I struggled against him.

 

Finally, he won out, pinning me underneath him. He took my wrists in his huge hands and held them to the bed. “Alena,” he breathed, driving his thickness into my hip. His mouth was inches from mine, our foreheads touching. “When will you relax? You know you love it when I’m in control.”

 

Still holding me down, he explored me with his tongue. First, it was my earlobe, which he traced before biting gently. I drew in my breath sharply.

 

Then he licked along the length of my jawline. I tilted my head back, silently asking him to continue down my throat. He traced wet circles with his tongue until he reached my collarbone. His tongue trailed along until he reached one shoulder, then the other.

 

Cole planted slow, teasing, open-mouthed kisses down the side of my chest until he reached my breast, rising and falling in time with my raspy breathing. I writhed, my hands straining to be free so I could touch him. But there was no fighting his strength, so I gave in and accepted the pleasure.

 

He crossed my wrists one over the other, holding them both with one hand. This freed the fingers of his right hand to softly caress my breast. He ran his fingers in circles around it, each circle smaller than the one before it as he zeroed in on my nipple. My breath caught in my throat, my heartbeat racing faster the closer he got. He lingered over each inch of skin. By the time he hit the center I was straining upward, my whole body tensed.

 

I cried out his name when he finally reached that sensitive bit of flesh. He flicked the fingers of his hand over it, rapidly, one after the other. I closed my eyes, drowning in the sensation of total pleasure.

 

“Look at me,” he commanded.

 

I felt myself respond, wetness flowing between my legs at his possessive tone of voice. I opened my eyes to find him staring at my face. He moved his fingers again and I moaned. We watched each other as he drove me crazy.

 

He dipped his head down, replacing his fingers with his mouth. He flicked his tongue over my pink flesh, back and forth. I watched him as he worked, my breath already coming in uneven gasps as he moved faster and faster. Then he closed his lips around me and sucked, and I arched my back.

 

He moved from one breast to the other, kneading and fondling the first as he licked and sucked on the second. I was in heaven, my hips grinding, my head rolling back and forth as his mouth sent shockwaves to my core. My hands opened and closed, struggling against his grip. I needed to touch him, to hold him close to me as he worked on my body.

 

Finally, he did let go, but only because he moved lower with his mouth, crawling between my legs. I ran my hands through his thick, dark hair as he planted kisses all over my stomach.

 

“Do you want me to go lower?” he asked, kissing further down my abdomen to my pelvis.

 

I whimpered, unable to speak.

 

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he said, and moved down until he hovered over my mound. He ran his tongue along the soft flesh in the crease alongside my lips, then brought it closer and closer to my moist slit, as he had with his fingers around my nipple. I was whimpering almost constantly, undone by this torment.

 

“Please, lick me,” I whispered.

 

“I am licking you,” he said, and swiped his tongue over my slick lips to prove it.

 

“Deeper,” I begged, demanding satisfaction. He’d teased me long enough.

 

“Not yet,” he replied, gently and delicately running his tongue along the slit but not going any deeper. I was completely tensed up, my entire body stiff, anticipating his next move.

 

“So sweet,” he murmured, swiping his tongue along me again.

 

I could have cried, I was so frustrated. He must have taken pity on me because the next time I felt his tongue it was deep within my folds.

 

“Yes!” I gasped when he made contact with my aching bud. He held my lips open with his fingers, giving him full access to me. His tongue worked, swirling in circles around that little bundle of nerves, then flicking it back and forth. I felt the pressure in my center build and build the closer I got to my climax.

 

“Please, oh, please…more…yes…” My entire body was tensed and right on the edge. I grasped the back of his head and held it in place, grinding myself up into his face as my entire body began shaking and trembling, the orgasm spreading through me in waves. My thighs clenched, squeezing his head between them as his tongue continued to dance over me.

 

I thought I might break into a million pieces, the pleasure was so intense. Wave after wave washed over me in an endless flow. When he slid his fingers inside me to reach my G-spot, I almost leaped off the bed. One orgasm hadn’t ended before another started to build, growing faster than I could keep up with, until I was screaming again as he massaged that special place inside my sheath.

 

I was left trembling and whimpering in the aftermath. He climbed into bed, holding me close. Emotion swept over me, almost more than I could bear. He stroked my back and murmured in my ear as I came down from the height of so much pleasure. I didn’t understand how he managed to uncover this side of me. I was never the girl who cried after sex.

 

“I’m sorry,” I whispered once I was calm enough to speak. “I don’t usually do this.”

 

“It’s okay. As long as you’re not crying because I hurt you or anything.”

 

“No! Far from it. Though I was pretty sure you were trying to kill me for a minute there.”

 

He chuckled. “Worse things could happen than a girl crying because she feels so good.” He kissed my forehead, my cheeks. My mouth.

 

I knew it was like a point of pride for him, seeing how many times he could get me to come before I demanded he stop. I was happy to let him take me and do whatever he wanted, as long as I got to keep coming over and over like this.

 

He rolled me onto my back, still kissing me softly. I opened my legs, inviting him back inside. I couldn’t believe that after all that, I still wanted more. I was addicted to the way he felt inside me. Watching and listening to this man who had seemed so in control of himself when we first met, who was strong enough to lead a dangerous group of men, lose control of himself when he was inside me. It was better than any drug I could imagine.

 

“You feel incredible,” I whispered as he entered me again. I gasped, the feeling still so delicious. I didn’t think I would ever get used to it.

 

He rocked me slowly, barely moving at first. He teased both of us, driving himself slowly into me, so deep. I could only close my eyes and let this new pleasure consume me. And it did, but by inches. He was an expert, knowing just how to move to keep the fire growing and building without letting it flare out of control. He gently ground his length into me, kissing my neck and shoulders as he did. It was the sweetest thing I’d ever felt. It was like we were connecting, body and soul.

 

This was dangerous, but I couldn’t stop the thought. We weren’t just screwing. We were connecting on a deeper level. It was scary, this dangerous man moving into my heart the way he was. What was scarier was that I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted him, all of him. I had finally found someone who lit me on fire and brought happiness to my bruised heart even when I was lower than I’d ever been. I couldn’t let go of that.

 

My arms and legs tightened around him. I needed him as close as I could get him. He sighed deeply, thrusts coming more quickly now. My fire burned more steadily, and I used my legs against his butt to pull him harder and faster to me while I jerked upward. We moved like this, harder, faster, our cries mingling together until we both tensed. I cried out with my face in his neck, my nails digging into his back. We held each other in those first moments after coming, when I knew I felt the most vulnerable. I couldn’t speak for him, but his trembling told me he was feeling overcome as well.

 

I stroked the back of his head, kissing his neck until he pulled away and rolled over onto his back. I curled at his side, my head on his chest. It felt like the most natural thing in the world.

 

Oh, no, I thought. I hoped I wasn’t falling for him.

 

###

 

I was having the most beautiful dream. We were having a picnic, Sara and I. It was a picture-perfect day, the blue sky filled with billowing clouds. A soft breeze brought the scent of salt water to my nose, the waves crashing along the edge of the beach far below our picnic blanket. From our spot on the bluff, I could see for miles in all directions.

 

She was wearing a white cotton dress which moved in the breeze. She looked so peaceful and angelic. I was so relieved, deep in my soul, to see her looking safe and have her here with me.

 

“Where were you, all this time?” I asked.

 

She shook her head. “Don’t ask questions,” she said. “It’s not worthwhile. There’s no time for all the answers. Let’s just sit and enjoy what we have, right now.”

 

“Where are we?” I asked. “I’ve never been here before.”

 

“No one is, until they are,” she said. “I had never been here before either. Now I come here all the time.”

 

“I can see why.” I looked out over the water. It seemed like I could see for miles.

 

“Mom’s just down there,” she said. She stretched out her arm, pointing to the sand. I shaded my eyes against the sun, and sure enough, there was our mother. She was here, too.

 

“How?” I asked.

 

She shrugged. “She’s always been here. She was here when I first came.” I marveled at this. On some level, I knew it was a dream. It had to be, if Mom was there. If this was so, I wanted never to wake up. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt so happy, so totally at peace with myself and the world.

 

“I don’t ever want to leave you,” I said. “I’ve missed you so much.”

 

“You didn’t need to miss me. I was never very far away.”

 

“Where did you go?”

 

“Let’s not talk about that now. There are so many things to enjoy. Why do you want to keep talking about things that don’t matter anymore?”

 

“They don’t?”

 

“No. All that matters is what’s happening here and now. Isn’t it beautiful here?” Sara asked. I looked over, saw her radiant smile, and smiled in return.

 

“It is,” I agreed. “It’s like heaven.”

 

She nodded slowly, her smile widening. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

 

The sound of ringing ripped my eyes open. What was that noise? After two more rings, I realized it was the phone.

 

What time was it? It had to be the middle of the night, the sky still dark outside the window. My phone had been ringing. I must have left it downstairs.

 

I looked over to where Cole still softly snored. He slept like the dead.

 

The dead. What had I been dreaming about? Sara. Had we been…in heaven?

 

I heard ringing, again. This time I felt compelled to get out of bed to see who was calling. At this time of night, it had to be important. I slid into my robe and tiptoed downstairs.

 

Where was my phone? We’d both been a little hasty when taking off our clothes. I blushed when I remembered what we’d done on the kitchen table. I would have to pull out the disinfecting wipes in the morning.

 

I thought I’d left my phone in my jacket pocket, so I went to the coat rack. It was there, but when I checked it, I saw that I had no missed calls. It must have been Cole’s phone that rang, then.

 

Sara. There she was, with me, in the picture from Christmas. Smiling up at me as my phone’s wallpaper. I felt a twinge of guilt in my chest. I was betraying her by sleeping with Cole. I knew it, and I felt awful about it. What would she think if she knew the man who was protecting her killer was sleeping in my bed at this minute? I touched my finger to the image, my dream coming back to me in little fragments. Had we both been dead? Was that what she’d been trying to tell me? My subconscious was working overtime lately.

 

Then, a buzzing noise. It was coming from the floor in front of the sofa. Cole’s jeans. I thought I would take the phone to him, let him know someone was desperately trying to get in touch with him. I found the phone in the back pocket and pulled it out.

 

The screen was lit up with a list of missed calls and messages. I didn’t mean to look, I truly didn’t, but it was all right there. I didn’t even need to open an app to see that a person named Skull had been trying to get a hold of Cole.

 

Skull. The name sounded familiar. I remembered Sara mentioning a person with that name—it stuck out because it was so unusual. Who named their kid Skull? Or if it was a nickname, who chose that?

 

Was Skull her boyfriend?

 

The last message, the one which had just come through when I was downstairs, made my blood run cold. I need to talk to you about Sara. Come to my house when you get this.