Chapter Five
Lacy fought hard to hide her grin as she tugged her t-shirt over her head. It was simply a stroke of luck that her new toys had arrived that morning and she’d decided to unpack them to take a peek. After that, she’d lost track of time, fantasizing about Logan using all the toys on her until she’d been late for work and had left them lying on the bed.
Logan was still resistant to a relationship, but Lacy wasn’t sure why. Whatever was holding him back wasn’t something he was ready to talk to her about. So she needed to find ways to keep him returning to her bed until he was. She didn’t intend to give up on him. Especially not now, when it was obvious they were so perfect for each other.
Once she was naked, she waited, curious about what he would ask her to do next. He was looking at her treasure trove of naughty toys intently.
“You really want to try all of this?”
“Yes.” She was taken aback by his uncharacteristic hesitance. She wasn’t used to seeing Logan unsure of himself. Typically, he was the king of confidence. “Of course I do.”
“You’re not doing this just to please me, because you think it’s what I want?”
Lacy frowned, wondering where his questions were coming from. This was the first time he’d shown this touch of reticence. “I love what we do together. It doesn’t just please you, Logan. God, you’re giving me orgasms that make my teeth rattle. It’s amazing.”
He considered that, and then—finally—the dominant lover she’d come to adore reemerged. His gaze swept over her naked form.
“Get on the bed. Lay down on your back in the center.”
As she moved into position, Logan swept the toys to one side of the bed.
“You forgot something,” he said as he walked toward her closet.
“What’s that?”
“Handcuffs.”
Lacy squeezed her legs together and cursed herself for the oversight. “I’ll steal some from Evan’s house tomorrow.”
He chuckled. “I’d prefer to buy you some. Last thing we need is Evan arresting his kinky kid sister for stealing his cuffs.” He opened the closet door. “Scarves?”
“They’re in a box right there on the floor.”
He followed her direction and tugged the box out. Opening it, he searched until he found several long scarves that apparently suited his purpose.
Lacy squirmed on the bed, wishing for the millionth time she hadn’t taken sex off the table. As fun as the toys looked, she would never be fully sated until Logan was buried deep inside her.
She watched as he approached the bed. He looked so large, so serious, so powerful. A sane woman would probably be terrified. Lacy felt nothing but excitement.
“Lift your hands above your head.”
Lacy obeyed, directing her hands toward opposite sides of the headboard.
He shook his head. “No. Cross your wrists.”
She moved them together. In her fantasies, she was always spread eagle. The idea that he would tie her up some other way had her heart racing at a dangerous pace.
Logan rested one knee on the mattress by her side as he reached up, tying her wrists together and then securing them to the headboard. Her arms were stretched taut, and she didn’t bother to test the knots for more than a second or two. Those suckers weren’t coming loose.
Logan rose from the bed and pulled his t-shirt over his head. She was treated to a visual feast of muscular arms, six-pack abs and smooth, tanned skin she longed to lick like an ice cream cone. She hoped the striptease would continue, but Logan stopped with just the shirt.
“Pants,” she suggested hopefully.
His eyes narrowed and she knew she’d made some sort of faux pas. “I won’t gag you this time because it’s all new to you and I want you to be able to say your safe word. So here’s your only warning. We’re doing this my way.”
“So…in other words, no suggestions from the peanut gallery. Got it.”
His stern expression slipped for just a moment, his lips tipping up in a smile he was trying to hide. He recovered quickly, but the twinkle in his eyes told her he wasn’t really annoyed with her.
“Don’t make me regret the gag decision.”
She bit her lip, trying to look chastised. In truth, the action was helping her to not laugh. It wasn’t that she wasn’t taking this seriously. She was. It was just that she was so happy. God, her joy was seeping out of her and it was hard to keep inside, contained.
She had loved Logan Grady her entire life and now, being here with him like this, she felt as if she’d come home. As if every dream she’d ever had was coming true.
Logan returned to the bed, crawling between her legs as he pushed them apart. The man certainly liked having her on display. She didn’t mind her nudity with him. He looked at her as if she were the most beautiful piece of artwork in the museum. It warmed her up, made her feel cherished. Sexy.
He ran his fingers along her slit. This time, she did flush. She was dripping wet. To the point where it was slightly embarrassing.
“Guess we won’t need that lube,” she said, jokingly.
Logan moved one finger lower and pressed just the tip into her anus. The move was unexpected, the penetration tight. It pinched slightly and she gasped.
“We’re going to need it.”
Suddenly, Lacy was reconsidering the size of the butt plug she’d purchased. In her overheated, horny mind, she had selected one that would be approximately the same size as his dick. She hadn’t fully considered the ramifications of putting something that big in such a small hole.
“Relax, Lacy.”
The man read her like a book. “I’m cool,” she lied.
This time he didn’t bother to hide his grin. “No. You’re not, but you’re worrying about the wrong things.”
As always, his words calmed her down. She assumed it all came back to that trust thing. He wouldn’t hurt her, wouldn’t abuse her or force her to do anything she didn’t want to do. She knew that as sure as she knew tomorrow was Saturday.
Logan lifted her legs, resting them on his shoulders as he bent forward to suck on her nipples. She was suddenly grateful she’d started taking those yoga classes at the gym. Logan was definitely going to stretch her flexibility limits.
When his teeth bit into her nipple, her mind went blank. She longed to grip his head, to run her fingers through his thick dark hair, but the scarf held firm.
She’d never had anyone pay so much attention to her breasts. Or to just one nipple. Logan spent ages laving the distended flesh, licking, sucking, biting. Every sting of pain he produced was followed by softness. He hurt. He soothed. Over and over. Her body trembled with the conflicting sensations, her pussy clenching resentfully on empty air.
Lacy needed to be filled. Needed him to fuck her.
“Please,” she gasped after several minutes. “God. I need you, Logan.”
He lifted his head, letting her see the pain etched on his face. He was suffering too. Strangely that idea comforted her. She wasn’t alone in this.
She was so distracted by his expression, she never saw him pick up the nipple clamp. She didn’t realize he had it in his hand until the sharp teeth of the wicked contraption snapped down.
“Ahh,” she cried. “Shit. That hurts.”
Logan didn’t remove it, but he didn’t put the other on either. Instead, he studied her expression. “Focus on your breathing, Lace.”
She did as he said, sucking in as much air as she could muster, which wasn’t much.
He shook his head. “No. Like this.”
She followed his lead, her chest rising and falling in time with his, in slow inhalations followed by long exhalations. Lacy had just adjusted to the sting of the clamp when he snapped the second one on.
“Fuck!”
He waited again, leading her through the breathing exercises. This time, it took fewer seconds to regulate, to adapt. Mainly because Logan had distracted her. Two fingers slammed inside her pussy and Lacy jerked roughly.
God. She was going to come. Like…right now.
She screamed and thrashed her head on the pillow as every nerve ending in her body exploded. What the fuck was happening?
It was several minutes before she realized Logan’s fingers were no longer inside her. Instead, he was hovering over her, caging her beneath him as his elbows rested by her shoulders. He kissed her gently, the touch in direct opposition to the pleasurable pain he’d just produced.
“Okay?” he asked quietly when she finally managed to gather her wits.
She nodded. “I don’t understand how…”
“You’re submissive.”
Lacy would have argued that point. She’d chop off any guy’s dick if he tried to control her life, tell her what to wear or how to behave. The Sparks women had more than their fair share of independent and authoritative streaks.
But that wasn’t what he meant. She understood that.
And whether he realized it or not, Logan had molded her desires when she was seventeen, unwittingly revealing a part of her that she might never have known existed.
“I want you, Logan.”
The moment she uttered the words, she wished she could take them back. They seemed to break whatever spell had settled over them.
He pushed himself up and glanced at the pile of toys that still rested next to her on the bed. “We’re not finished with the lessons yet.”
The affection she’d just seen in his eyes was shuttered away. Logan would play with her, broaden her horizons, indulge her curiosity about BDSM. But he wouldn’t give her what she truly wanted. Him. All of him. Heart, soul and body.
Unfortunately he didn’t give her the chance to mourn that fact. Instead, he uncapped the lube and threw her back into a maelstrom of sensation.
Logan squeezed some of the lubrication onto his finger, and then slowly worked it inside her ass. She struggled to adapt to the pinch. It didn’t hurt, but it wasn’t entirely comfortable. She recalled his declaration about fucking her there. The masochist in her wanted that, even knowing it was likely to hurt like hell.
She had to hand it to him. Logan seemed to have the patience of Job. One finger eventually became two, and two became three. Hours could have passed for all Lacy knew as he took his time to stretch her. All the while he added even more lubrication.
Finally, seventy-two years later, she felt the tip of the plug against her ass.
“Shit,” she breathed out on a whisper as he pressed the wicked toy deeper. She really should have picked a smaller size.
“Logan,” she gasped as he continued to breach the tight portal.
He captured her gaze and then, with a wink, he pushed the fat end completely inside as her anus clenched around the base.
“Ohmigod.” Once again, he led her through the breathing exercises and then, just like before, he distracted her. This time with the dildo.
He grinned as he rimmed the opening of her body with the toy. “We won’t need lube for this one. You’re soaking wet.”
“You can’t put…”
That was as far as she got before Logan shoved the dildo in to the hilt.
Her back arched off the bed as her second orgasm rumbled along her spine, ravaging her. That orgasm was followed immediately by a third, more powerful one when Logan removed one of the nipple clamps and then the other.
Her cries were hoarse as her body trembled in the aftermath. Logan laved her sensitive nipples with hot, wet, soothing kisses. He’d done no more than push the dildo inside. He hadn’t even fucked her with it. She had come three times tonight and it had only taken him one little thrust to do so.
A trickle of sweat tickled her cheek as it slid along her damp skin. The room had been chilly when they’d first walked in. Now, it was like a sauna, the air thick and humid.
Logan untied her wrists, slowly drawing her arms down as he massaged her shoulders. He had just given her three earth-shattering orgasms. It felt as if she should be the one worshiping at his feet, taking care of him and giving him the moon on a silver platter.
However, it was Logan who gave as she lay there with no more strength than a newborn kitten. He ran his fingers along the valley between her breasts, over her stomach and back to her pussy. Her inner muscles fluttered against the thick plastic as he pulled the dildo out.
When his fingers drifted lower, to the plug, she sucked in a deep breath and held it.
“Ready?”
It was the first time he’d asked permission to do anything tonight. The fact that, ready or not, the damn big thing needed to come out, wasn’t lost on her.
Logan placed a quick kiss on her cheek as he gripped the base of the plug and pulled it free. She closed her eyes tightly as the thickest part passed, sighing in relief—and disappointment—as he dropped it to the floor by the bed.
She felt…empty.
“That was…” Lacy couldn’t find the words.
Logan simply nodded, looking at her so intently she had to fight the urge to glance away. He could see too much and she didn’t have the strength to hide, to shelter her emotions.
“You’re incredible, Lacy.”
She closed her eyes and pretended there wasn’t going to be a “but” added to the end of that statement. She could read him too. Whatever he’d just seen in her face—and she was pretty sure it was pure, unadulterated, undying love—had helped him batten down his hatches.
He was going to break her heart.
“We can’t do this again.”
She tried to push herself upright, but her arms were still weak so it took some effort. “Why not?”
“You’ve had a crush on me since you were a kid.”
She blushed and glanced down. “I wasn’t sure you knew that.”
He cupped her cheek, forcing her gaze to meet his. “It was pretty hard to miss. I didn’t know you knew about Yvette, that you’d followed us. God, Lacy. How much of what you’re feeling right now is based on what you know about me and my needs? How do you know this is really what you want?”
She scowled. “Um…maybe because I’m a fucking adult and I know what I like.”
“Jane pretended she liked BDSM at first too. We fell in love with each other and when those emotions were new it was easy for her to go along with my desires because she wanted to make me happy. In the end, she wound up resenting me for what I wanted.”
“I’m not pretending.”
“How can you be sure?”
She snapped. Her temper flaring red-hot. “I can!”
“I don’t want to hurt you. You’re the last person on earth I’d ever want to hurt.”
The anger that had flashed dissolved into heartbreak. “You’re hurting me now.”
“And that’s why I need to leave.”
* * * *
Fourteen years earlier…
“I think it’s on the back porch,” Evan yelled from the kitchen.
Lacy glanced up, surprised when Logan stepped outside. She turned her head away from him quickly, not wanting him to see her cry. She’d had a crush on Logan her entire life, so it was just her luck he’d show up and catch her ugly crying.
“Hey, Lace.” He walked over to retrieve a cooler. Logan and Evan were going camping with a bunch of their friends for the weekend. Needless to say, once again, she had been deemed too young to tag along.
“Hey,” she said, not looking his direction.
She was used to being invisible to her brother’s friends. They were eight years older and there was precious little a gang of twenty-somethings had in common with a thirteen-year-old. So she hadn’t expected Logan to walk over to where she was slowly rocking on her mom’s loveseat glider.
“You crying?”
She shook her head, refusing to face him. Of course, she didn’t help her lie by reaching up to wipe away her tears.
“What’s wrong?”
“Missy Martin kissed Bucky Largent.”
“Oh. And you like Bucky?”
Lacy crinkled her nose in disgust as she looked at Logan. “Eww. No. Gross.”
“You like Missy?”
She rolled her eyes. “No. But now I’m the only girl in my class who hasn’t kissed a boy.”
Logan chuckled. She expected him to walk away, as he clearly didn’t find her reason for crying very important.
Once again, he did the unexpected. He put the cooler down and sat next to her on the loveseat. “I wouldn’t worry about that too much. You’re going to kiss lots of guys in your life. Doesn’t matter if you’re last or not.”
“Nobody likes me like that.”
“They will.”
Lacy had her doubts. The boys in her class tended to flock toward the girls with the big boobs. Hers had yet to make an appearance. “Pretty sure I’m going to die alone.”
Logan laughed and stood up. “Tell you what. If nobody’s kissed you by the time you’re eighteen, I’ll kiss you.” With that, he picked up the cooler and headed back into the house, while Lacy did some math.
In five years, Logan Grady was going to kiss her. Lacy had waited this long. She could wait five more years.