Chapter 12
As soon as he felt Fisher shatter, Kyle gave one last hard thrust. He emptied himself inside her with a primal yell. Then he stilled. With his hands still on her hips, he held himself inside her, not yet wanting to separate. Maybe he wasn’t able to pull away. Not yet. Not while dozens of aftershocks shook her body.
His legs started to shake, and he knew if he didn’t let go, he was in danger of dropping her. Reluctantly he pulled out. He reached down to take care of the condom, but in his haste, there hadn’t been one.
“Fisher. Baby.” His voice was steadier than he anticipated. “I don’t know how to say this, but I forgot something. Something important.”
She turned around, looking at him with trust in her heavily lidded eyes. “What was that?”
Now she wrapped her arms around him, nuzzling up against his chest. The woman was clearly satisfied.
“I, uh, forgot the condom.” Seriously, where was the panic in his voice? This had long been his worst nightmare.
“That’s okay. I’m covered.” She lifted her head briefly. “I mean, for birth control. Is there anything else I should worry about?”
“No. I’ve never forgotten before.” He held back a curse. “I swear. Not ever.”
“Well, I guess there’s a first time for everything.” She let out a nervous laugh. “But seriously, we don’t have to worry about an accidental pregnancy. There are more than enough babies around here. I’m not taking any chances.”
“That’s good.” He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, wondering why he felt the tiniest bit of disappointment crowding his overwhelming feeling of relief.
“Let’s go back to my place. Get cleaned up and go to bed.”
“What about dinner?”
“Oh, food would probably be good.” He brushed her hair off her forehead; it had come loose from her braid. “But we should definitely get cleaned up first.”
“Why don’t you come to the guides’ house? The shower should be available by now.” Fisher tried to smooth the rest of her hair back but quickly gave up. “You could get a feel for the place. In case, you know…”
“I have my RV. I like it. I have some pretty great memories.”
“Yeah, but you might want a real shower once in a while. A full-sized kitchen.”
“I like the privacy of the RV. But how big is this shower?”
“Big enough.” She grabbed his hand and started for the side door.
“Uh, Fisher. I guess I’m not the only forgetful one.” He stared at her bare lower half. “Maybe you should put your shorts on.”
Her cheeks flamed a deep shade of red. “Yeah. I guess so.”
Kyle helped her get dressed and then he took her hand and followed her back to the house she shared with Brooke, Tyler, Ross, and a few others. Mostly guys.
“So tell me about the sleeping arrangements here.”
“Well, Brooke and I share a room. There’s a loft, and plenty of space for tents or just sleeping bags out back. You could probably park your RV back there.”
“Sounds good.”
“There’s a nice-size kitchen with a big farmhouse table.” Fisher sounded like she was giving a tour on one of those home and garden shows. “And there’s a living room where there’s a TV. We have satellite and an old PlayStation, but mostly we hang out on the deck or down at the Argo.”
“Nice place. The Argo. I met a girl there once. She was pretty hot.”
“Oh yeah. What happened with her?” Fisher led him up the porch steps.
“She just keeps getting hotter and hotter.” He kissed her, pressing her against the front door.
“Maybe instead of a shower, you should go cool off in the river.”
“Aren’t you afraid I’ll pick up some girl in a bikini?”
She looked at him, almost in disbelief. Then she slugged him in the shoulder, before turning the doorknob and leading him inside.
“I guess I deserved that.”
“Yeah. You’d better watch it, mister.” But she took his hand anyway and led him to the back of the house and into the bathroom.
Fisher turned on the shower and got undressed. She ducked behind the shower curtain and he quickly stripped and stepped inside with her. He took the shampoo bottle from her and poured a generous handful into his palm. Then he lathered her long, gorgeous hair, massaging her scalp and making her moan with pleasure.
She returned the favor by soaping him up. Up and down. She dropped down to her knees and lowered her mouth over his shaft. Oh yeah. He leaned his head back, waiting for the exquisite pleasure of her mouth on his cock.
But that little fantasy was interrupted by a gagging sound. She coughed, sputtered, and then dashed out of the shower and held her head over the toilet. More coughing, heaving, and finally she collapsed on the floor and burst into tears.
He turned off the water and went to her, kneeling next to her on the soft bath mat. “Hey, are you okay?”
“No. I’m mortified.” She looked up at him; her hair was plastered against her face, which was pale, her lips quivering.
“Here.” He stood up, grabbing a fluffy white towel from a rack above the toilet. “Dry off, honey. It’s going to be okay.”
Kyle wrapped the towel around her and helped her to stand. He still had shampoo in his hair, but he could always rinse it out later, once he knew she was going to be all right.
“I’m so embarrassed.” Fisher shivered as he rubbed her skin with the terry cloth. “I’ve never done that before. I mean, I tried, once. But the guy said it was the worst he’d ever had. I guess he was right.”
“No. The guy was an asshole.” He lifted damp strands of hair off her face. “You’re incredible, Fisher. Like no woman I’ve ever known. And while your technique is a little unorthodox, I love your enthusiasm.”
She laughed. The kind of laugh that was 70 percent tears, but there was enough laughter to make him think that she was going to recover.
“Look, I need to get the soap out of my hair, but then let’s grab something to eat and take it to my RV.”
“Yeah. Sure. Just as long as it’s not hot dogs.” Fisher gave him a wry smile.
“If it is, I’ll be sure to cut it into tiny pieces.” He ducked back under the shower before he could say anything else.
“I’m going to brush my teeth. Then I’ll change and meet you outside.” She avoided eye contact. She was embarrassed but she didn’t need to be. He was the one who’d made her gag.
He rinsed off quickly, hoping to catch her before she could get too far away, but she was quicker than he was. He practically had to jog to catch up to her at the campsite.
“Hey. It looks like tacos. You want beef or chicken?” He kept the conversation light.
“I’m not really hungry.” She shrugged, still avoiding his gaze.
“Tell you what. I’ll make you one of each. Grab something cold to drink and we could head to my RV. If it gets cold, you can always reheat it in my microwave.”
“You don’t have to go to all that trouble for me.” She looked up at him then, with a soft resignation in her eyes.
“It’s no trouble.” He kept his voice down, so that the conversation was private. “Maybe we can just chill for the rest of the night. Unless you want to hang out with everyone?”
“No. Not really.” She sighed. “Your place sounds fine.”
“Great.” He made his way over to the buffet line where he grabbed a plate and made up six tacos, three of each kind. Then he grabbed two beers and, balancing them on his plate, motioned for Fisher to follow him.
“You sure you’re okay?” he asked when they got to his RV.
“Fine.”
“Fisher. Look at me.” He smiled, hoping to encourage her. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“Please don’t say that.” She took the plate from him so he could open the door. “It makes me not believe anything you’ve ever said to me.”
“So you want me to tell you it was horrible? That I don’t want to see you again because you tried something new and it didn’t work out?” He unlocked the door and held it open for her.
“No.” She stepped up into the RV and set the plate and two beers on the table just inside. “Just don’t act like it was nothing.”
“Hey. It wasn’t nothing.” He reached for her, twisting a strand of her long blond hair between his fingers. “It was actually kind of hot.”
“You can’t be serious.” She backed away, as if she thought he was nuts.
“Yeah. I kind of am.” He took both her hands in his. “You were trying to do something for me. Obviously it isn’t something you are into, but the fact you wanted to try. To please me. That’s hot.”
“But me rushing for the toilet, choking and gagging?”
“Still, kind of hot.” He pulled her closer, wrapped his arms around her waist, without letting go of her hands. “I must be incredibly well endowed.”
She laughed. And he chose to take it as a sign that she wasn’t as embarrassed anymore.
“Let’s eat.” He let go of her and reached for the beers. He popped open both cans and offered her one. Then he sat down and grabbed a taco.
Fisher sat opposite him in the cozy kitchenette of the RV. She devoured two and a half tacos before declaring herself full.
“You want another beer?” He ate his three tacos and polished off the rest of hers. “I have some in the little fridge.”
“Sure. I’ll get it.” She slid out from behind the table and crossed to the small refrigerator. She pulled two cold ones out and opened them. “It’s a nice night. You want to step outside?”
“Sure.” He grabbed the empty plate and set it in the sink. “Do you want to head back to the campsite?”
“No.” Fisher shook her head. No longer rattled, she was still somewhat subdued. “I was thinking of taking a walk down to the river.”
“Sounds perfect.” He picked up his beer, ready to follow her just about anywhere.
With a relieved sigh, she led the way out of the RV and down a small path to the river. The water level had gone down quite a bit, and the moonlight shone down on the smooth, dark river.
The river not only looked different at night, it smelled different, too. Maybe it was the lack of sunscreen, sweat, and bodies. Or maybe the plant life gave off different scents in the evening. It smelled reedy. Or willowy. He didn’t know all the plants that grew around here. Maybe Fisher did, and she could teach him.
But she’d taught him a lot so far. Some of it had nothing at all to do with the river or rafting or guiding.
He followed her, neither of them saying much, but he liked that he could just be with her. No talking. No touching. No sex. Yet he felt connected to her just the same. Maybe even more so than when they were naked and rubbing up against each other.
* * * *
Fisher trotted down to the river, where she usually felt the most grounded. She had a semisecret path that she took when she needed quiet contemplation. Only this time she had a companion. A sexy, too-good-to-be-true companion. Even after the most humiliating sexual experience of her life—no, the most humiliating experience of any kind—he stuck by her.
And she wasn’t going to spend too much time worrying about why.
Making her way to her special spot, Fisher glanced upstream. The lights were on at Cody’s house. Cody and Miranda’s house. Were they busy putting the twins to bed? Or were they already enjoying a glass of wine together out on the deck? For the first time in a long time, she couldn’t picture him.
How many nights had she looked up at the house, knowing he’d taken a woman home? She’d sit out here, wondering what it was like. Had he been a skilled lover? Adventurous? Generous? Dirty?
She shuddered, thinking about how much time she had wasted pining for a man who had clearly lost interest in her as a woman about five seconds after she’d stammered an uncertain “I’m not that kind of girl.”
Almost instantly, Kyle’s arms were around her shoulders. “You cold?”
“No.” Should she tell him? That she was over Cody? That no matter how things ended up between her and Kyle, she no longer longed for another man? “It’s just… There’s something about the river that soothes me. Makes everything else seem to wash away.”
“I’m starting to see what you mean.” He leaned into her, simply holding her. There was no lustful intention behind his touch. But it felt good just the same. “I may not be able to return to Southern California.”
The thought filled her with joy. Until she realized that it probably wouldn’t last. Eventually the season would end. And the work would dry up. Unless the man was independently wealthy, he’d leave. Well, when she’d met him, she’d only expected one night. So anything more was a bonus, right?
“So, I was thinking.” Kyle sat with his left arm around her, sipping his beer with his right. “Maybe we should carry an extra life jacket, in case of emergencies.”
“Like girls stranded in their bikinis?” She loved that he was thinking not about the girl but what he could do next time.
“Or kids, or old men.” She could hear the amusement in his voice. “And if liability is an issue, we could always tuck extra forms in the dry bag with the first aid kit.”
“That’s not a bad idea.” She looked up at Cody’s house, wondering why he’d never thought of something like that.
Kyle must have followed her gaze, because he glanced over just in time to see two figures appear on the deck.
“Ah. Is that his house? I wondered why you kept looking up there.” His arm slid from her shoulders.
“Yeah, it’s his place.” She took a long swallow of her beer. “Look, I know I told you had feelings for my boss. But you don’t have anything to worry about.”
“Who’s worried?” He stared straight ahead, his voice distant.
“I shouldn’t have said anything, that first night.” She leaned forward, wrapping her arms around her knees. “I guess I was protecting myself.”
“What were you protecting yourself from? A good time?”
“I didn’t think I stood a chance with someone like you.”
“Why, because Cody rejected you?”
“Actually, I rejected him. At least at first. But then he moved on. And on and on and on.” She sighed, realizing for the first time that it wasn’t Cody’s rejection that she’d clung to all these years: it was her own fear.
“My brother’s an idiot.” He stiffened the minute the words passed his lips.
“I’m sorry, did you say your brother?” She must have misunderstood. “As in related to each other?”
“Shit.” He stood up and started pacing. “Part of the reason I came here was to get to know them. My big brothers.”
“Your brothers?” She still couldn’t believe it.
“Yeah. But I don’t want them to know who I am yet.”
“Why?” She rose to her feet, dusted her backside off, and approached him cautiously. “I mean… Why wouldn’t you want them to know about you?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Complicated?” She was having a hard time processing why he would hide something like that.
“Look, my dad…” She heard a lot of pain in his voice. From what she’d learned from Cody, and to some extent Carson, they never had much of a relationship with their father. The man had abandoned them at birth. He came back briefly, when their grandparents died, but as far as she knew, they hadn’t kept in touch with the man.
Apparently, he had another child. She searched his face, and now that she knew, she did see some resemblance. The eyes, mostly.
Yeah. He was definitely related. And she didn’t quite know how to feel about that. Was she only attracted to him because he reminded her of Cody? No. That wasn’t it. He wasn’t just a replacement for her crush. Kyle was a great guy. A great guy who was struggling with family issues.
“I didn’t even know they existed until I was ten years old. One day, my dad just left. Said he had to go take care of his sons. It didn’t even occur to him to take us with him.”
“I’m so sorry.” She placed her hand on his shoulder, and he tensed up.
“We got by, though. Me and my mom.” Kyle moved just enough for her hand to slip. “And then five years later, the son of a bitch shows up. Like he was just on vacation.”
“That’s terrible.” Her heart wedged in her throat. He’d lied. To her, and to Carson and Cody. Yet, a part of her understood why he’d kept his connection hidden. She knew how much resentment Cody had toward his father, and she imagined how much worse it would have been to be abandoned at ten. Old enough to know the man.
“I hated him. And for a long time, I hated them, too.” He shook his head. “I guess I thought if I met them on my own terms, got to know them, let them get to know me, it would be better than just showing up.”
“Oh, Kyle.” She couldn’t just stand there and watch him suffer. All she could do was wrap her arms around him. Lean on his chest and wait.
“I had this image of them in my mind. Two spoiled guys who had everything. I worked from the time I was thirteen, just trying to keep food on the table. And these two guys had a house and a college fund and our dad.” He didn’t push her away this time, but he also didn’t accept her comfort.
“Then I found out they have their own business.” His voice was tense, full of hurt. “And I thought I’d check it out. See if these rich assholes were really as bad as I thought.”
“They’re hardly rich.” She bit back a laugh. “And they’re not really assholes.”
“What about Cody?” He stepped back. “He’s not exactly been friendly toward me. And I know it has something to do with you.”
“He’s protective, that’s all. He seems to think of himself as my big brother.”
“Well, it’s a good thing he’s not.”
She couldn’t help it. A laugh escaped her lips. “It’s a very good thing. But at some point, you might want to let him know who you are. And Carson, too. You’re family.”
“Yeah, but I want people to know me for me. You know? If I get the job, I don’t want people to think it’s because I’m related to the bosses.”
“You’d rather them think you got the job because you’re sleeping with the supervisor?”
“Yeah.” He smiled, and that made her melt. “That’s exactly what I want people to think.”
“You’re not just sleeping with me to get the job?” She was at least halfway joking.
“No, sweetheart. I can’t resist you. I don’t know what I’d do if there wasn’t a job available. I guess I’d have had to apply as a bartender at the Argo just to keep seeing you.”
“So you’re not independently wealthy?”
“No. I do have some money in the bank, but that’s where it’s going to stay.”
“For a rainy day?”
“Yeah, I’ve had enough of them to know they come up whether you’re prepared or not.”