Chapter Five

 

Makayla

 

 

It was my greatest dream come true. Like a wish made with all your heart and once it comes true you don’t know what to do. Fear eats at your heart. You’re afraid to blink, afraid to breathe. Fear that if you do, you’ll wake up and realize it was exactly that, just a dream. A trick played by your mind to lull you into a sense of false security.

That’s exactly how I felt waking up in Lenny’s arms, staring up at him while he slept.

My fingers ached to trace along his toned inked skin, memorizing him as though for the first time. He looked so peaceful with his arm wrapped firmly around my waist, pinning me to his side. His face was slack of the hard lines that marred his face when awake. He looked so innocent, so carefree, lying there beside me.

It was easy to remember how I once gave him my heart. It was easy to remember the carefree boy that lived at the end of the block. The boy I watched grow into a man.

I couldn’t tell you the exact moment I fell in love with Lenny Demark. Our love was made up of a series of moments: Lenny walking me to and from school every day for twelve years, watching him practice the piano in the afternoons when my mom and dad had to work late. Summer camping trips, school dances, and Spring break trips to the lake all contributed to the all-encompassing love I felt for him. Every moment we spent together weaved tightly the story of my love for him.

There was no doubt in my mind when he told me he wanted to be a singer that he would do something with his music. Lenny had always had talent, even when we were kids he was always making up silly songs and singing them to me. His voice was deep and melodic, reminding me of a chorus of angels. That’s why I had to let him go.

It hurt when he left for LA. I had always imagined us going together, living our lives as one. I could get over the hurt, but what broke me were the circumstances. I would never keep him from his dreams, but it didn’t mean I would be happy about how it all happened.

He had given me the choice. He left his dreams and his future in my hands. “I won’t go unless you tell me to.” Those were his words.

I couldn’t take that from him. I couldn’t be the reason he lost his chance at a record deal. If I had it to do all over again, I would always pick his dreams above my wants.

As much as it shattered my heart, I could not deny him his chance at happiness, his chance at success.

I will never forget the day our whole lives changed. Lenny and I had made plans to meet up Friday evening after graduation. After celebrating with our families we planned to celebrate on our own, with the goal in mind to plan our future.

We had been saving all summer to move to LA. Lenny was going to sing in one of the bars in hopes of making it big and I was going to trail along beside him, taking classes at a community college and working as a waitress to help support us.

If only it had been that easy.

Unbeknownst to either of us, a record producer had managed to get his hands on one of Lenny’s demos.

In exchange for a five-year recording contract, Lenny had to agree to exclusively date the producer’s daughter, Angela.

That same day I found out I was pregnant. Lenny was the only boy I had ever been with. There was no question that it was his.

It was on that day the world quit spinning. Real life came crashing at our feet.

When I told Lenny about the baby, we both agreed to keep it. To keep our Avery. It was the best decision we had ever made.  With the pressure of a baby on the way and the deal presented to Lenny, our world came to an end.

Should he take the contract knowing it was only for five years or should he stay and help raise his daughter?

His decision was clear. I saw it in his eyes. Even if we didn’t have a little girl on the way, I knew what his decision would have been. Lenny wasn’t leaving, not if he couldn’t have me.

Through gut-wrenching sobs I begged him to take the deal, to follow his dreams. My heart was breaking as I plead with him.

He fought me.

He fought with everything in him.

In the end, I won.

He held me close, swearing his love, promising me he would return.

I believed him.

I prayed he was telling the truth. I hoped with every fiber in me that he would come back to me, to us. Deep down I was terrified that once he walked out the door I would never see him again.

“Hey, Beautiful, why the sad face?” Lenny’s thumb gently wiped away an errant tear that escaped down my cheek. Blinking away unshed tears I gave him a watery smile.

“You’re home,” I stated in disbelief. I still couldn’t wrap my mind around that fact that he was here, in our bed. Heat blazed in his eyes sending my heart into overdrive. 

“I’m home, Baby.” His words were the sweetest promise I’d ever heard.

Rolling me onto my back, Lenny’s body covered mine. His lips sank down against my own, kissing me with more passion than I ever thought imaginable.

I caved into his smooth lips. My tongue sweeping out across the seam. Taking the lead He opened up to me. His lips parted. His tongue dove into my mouth, claiming me. Our kiss deepened.

It had been over four years since I felt his lips on mine. Four years since I felt his body pressed against mine in such an intimate embrace. We moved together seamlessly. Our mouths in perfect rhythm.

My nipples pebbled beneath the thin camisole I wore to bed. The once smooth thin cotton now felt like sandpaper against my sensitive buds.

I moaned hungrily for more. My nails biting into the flesh of his back, dragging him into me. I couldn’t get close enough. My tongue fought for dominance. I explored his mouth as if for the first time.

I needed more.

It had been far too long since I felt the touch of another. It had been far too long since I felt his touch.

The only touch I had ever known.

The only touch I had ever craved.

Lenny’s rock hard length pressed against the juncture between my legs. White hot need consumed me, making me gasp. Taking advantage he deepened the kiss further, teeth clashing. His tongue sank between my lips, exploring the hidden recesses of my mouth. With expert skill, he left me a panting writhing mess, desperate for him. 

A growl rumbled deep within his chest as he kissed and nipped at my lips. He ate hungrily at my mouth like a half-starved man. Devouring me as though I were his last meal.

I writhed beneath him, my hips thrusting forward, begging for more. My legs wrapped around his waist, heels digging into the back of his thighs. I rocked my hips against his with consumable need.

“Mommy?” Avery’s sweet voice was like a bucket of ice water poured over the both of us. Lenny and I jerked apart as though electrocuted, both us gasping to catch our breath as we lay our backs dragging in ragged gulps of air.

“Avery, Pumpkin.” Lenny recovered first. His deep voice called our daughter forward.

“Daddy!” Avery’s excited squeal was like a balm to my wounded heart.

The knob turned and the door burst open as our little girl bound into our room. Her tight curls twisted into a mangled mess on top of her head. With an exuberant squeal, she leaped onto the bed, burrowing her tiny body between us.

“I miss you so much, Daddy.” Avery’s tiny voice squealed with exuberance.

I felt the sting of tears at the corner of my eyes as I watched our sweet baby girl wrap her arms around her daddy’s neck, afraid of letting go, she clung to him with desperation.

How I longed for this moment, to have my tiny family together. I had been so afraid I would never see the day that I had the loves of my life beside me. My tiny family finally together under one roof. 

I felt as though I could finally breathe freely for the first time in what felt like forever.

My eyes met Lenny’s and I knew he was feeling it too. I knew how much it pained him to be away from his daughter. I knew the stolen moment he had taken to be in her life were never enough. She had been our little secret. A secret he couldn’t afford to get out.

Had Angela or the record label found out about Avery, his contract would have been voided. Lenny’s sacrifice would have been for nothing.