Chapter Nine

 

Makayla

 

 

Shame.

It radiated off me in waves, threatening to consume me. My resolve to stay strong had faltered. The steel armor I wore around me fell in rusted heaps at my feet. My mask slipping away like grains of sand slipping through my fingers.

When I walked into the house the lights were turned down casting the room in darkened silence. An eerie emptiness encased my heart, reminding me the happiness I had recently found could disappear just as swift as it emerged. Without warning. In combination with the abrupt ending to girl’s night, I could no longer hold myself together.

I had never been one for melodramatics. The situation I found myself in was far from typical. My entire world had been tipped on its side. My wildest dreams had come true. But had they, really? Or had someone doused my world with rose-colored glass? I found it impossible to tell. I felt my life spiraling out of control.

A lead weight had settled into the pit of my stomach, weighing me down. Like a riptide, it was sweeping me under its strong current.

I was drowning.

I felt the darkness creeping in, threatening to consume me. I gave in. I allowed my emotions to pour out of me. They rolled through me like thunder, shaking my body to its core. Every fear I had bubbled to the surface. My insecurities enveloping me.

I never felt more alone.

So out of control.

So lost.

How had this become my life?

I had been holding on to a memory.

A dream.

A wish.

An intangible future.

I had held on for so long, so tightly, that when reality came crashing down on me, I buckled. Like a cheap suit, I faltered at the first wave.

My body racked with sobs. Tears I had no power to control poured down my cheeks.

I gave in to all the pain.

The hurt.

The sorrow.

Darkness consumed me, grasping me in its iron clutches.

I allowed myself to be swept away by the harsh reality of life that threatened to annihilate me.

The gale of emotions left my knees weak. Strength fled from my limbs leaving me a ghost of a shell.

Strong arms wrapped around me. Pinning me in a firm embrace. I was immobile. Rigid with fear. Reality came crashing down around me like a tsunami.

I thought I was alone.

I had never been more wrong.

The warm scent of cedar and musk enveloped me. Hard ridges of muscle cocooned me. Unable to hold firm, I conceded. All fight left my body. My limbs faltered, deflating. Sagging with defeat into his embrace.

There was no room for embarrassment. No time to gain composure. The pain that ricochets in my heart would not budge. It refused to be stuffed back down.

All of my pain and heartache I felt lay bare for him to see. I felt naked, exposed.

I clung to him, like a life preserve in a turbulent sea. The feel of his hard body against mine kept me grounded. Anchoring me. Without his steady, unyielding presence I felt sure I would have drifted away, lost in my misery.

Without words, he lifted me in his capable arms. My body cradled against the broad expanse of his chest.

Silently, we assessed the stairs. The gentle sway of his footsteps rocking me, lulling me. Easing away the tension of my aching heart.

My sobs gave way to hiccups as tears continued to stream down my face. My mascara ran down my face like war paint. Brandishing my emotions like markers, the demons I fought showcased for all to see. For him to see.

I waited for the barrage of questions I knew were swarming in his mind. I felt his eyes boring into me. His heavy gaze traveling the length of my body searching for the cause of my meltdown.

He stayed silent.

Not a word slipped from between his lips.

The silence was uncomfortable.

His gaze felt like tiny ants crawling all over my body.

I didn't know how to feel.

Was the silence for me or for him?

Did he already know the answer?

Was my break down more than he could take?

Was it more than he bargained for?

So many questions assaulted my brain, begging for answers. Terrified of the answer.

I stayed quiet. Afraid that once I opened my mouth I would have no control over the words that spilled out. Like verbal diarrhea all of my doubts would have been laid bare, thrust at his feet.

Lenny walked me into the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him. Gently, he set me on the edge of the bed. With my head hung low I waited for him to speak. To leave. To do anything.

What I didn't expect was the delicate brush of his trembling fingers as they trailed down my shoulders and arms. My skin pebbled. Anticipation hitched my breath.

Gathering fist full of material, my dress was lifted from my body, over my head.

My heart halted. Time stood still. My breaths became labored as my chest rose and fell.

I was bare to him, wearing only a thin white slip of lace between my legs. The thought heated my skin, warring with my emotional turmoil.

My breasts grew heavy with arousal as I felt his eyes rake across my body. I felt the heat in his stare as his eyes lingered, soaking me in. Blazing into me.

With my head bowed and my eyes sealed shut I focused on his heavy breaths.

I focused on the heat of his body, so close yet so far away.

My tears quit falling. Arousal taking control, domination my senses. A spark ignited in my lower stomach. A low throbbing pulsed between my thighs.

The sound of Lenny’s deep uneven breaths filled the room. I felt my nipples pebble, standing at attention.

It wasn't exertion from climbing the stairs that had him breathing hard. Lenny was in incredible shape. His body long and lean, yet muscular.

He had the build of a swimmer. Languid clean lines full of definition. Not thick enough to be considered bulky or thin enough to be confused for weakness.

He was all man. Every inch of him.

A gentle finger caressed along the contour of my jaw, sweep away the errant tears that lingered. Slowly, carefully, he caressed down the long line of my neck and across my collarbone.

My heart jump-started in my chest. Beating erratically against the confines of my ribs.

“So fucking beautiful.” The soft broken words were filled with emotion as they spilled from his lips, breaking the silence.

My head shot up, eyes wide open.  His finger continued its decent tracing along the curvature of my breast.

Lenny stood before me. One leg pressed between mine, resting against the mattress. His eyes glassy, filled with heat, and a pain so deep it echoed my own.

When our eyes met sparks ignited. I felt as though he were looking into my soul. I felt completely bare to him. Opening myself and allowing him to see me. All of me. Every thought and emotion transparent before him.

I was afraid to speak. Afraid to make a sound. Fear that the spell cast around us would be broken. Shattered.

“I love you, Mak,” I felt my heart burst, eyes widening with surprise.

Lenny's lips crashed into mine. The momentum of the sudden movement sent me careening back onto the mattress. Lenny chased me down. His hand swooping around to cradle my neck as we crashed into the mattress.

His body covered mine. His weight a heavy, welcoming comfort.

With one hand around my neck and the other wrapped firmly around my waist, he lifted me. Pressing me into his body as his lips lay slanted over my own.

I felt weightless in his arms as he crawled across the mattress on his knees with me in his arms. I was limp. My body hung like a rag doll.

Fully on the bed, we sank into the pillowy mattress. Lenny's body engulfed mine. Sheltering me in his arms.

“I love you more than anything.” His words were like a balm to my shattered heart, mending the fractured pieces.

I wrapped my legs around his waist, pinning him to me. With renewed vigor I wrapped my arms around his waist, gathering fist full of material, I ripped his shirt up his back and over his head.

Lenny pulled back enough to rip the shirt the rest of the way off, tossing it behind him before his lips latched back onto mine.

His bare skin pressed against my own, chest to chest, our hearts hammered, echoing one another. Energy ripped across our flesh like an electric charge. My nerves tingled with every touch, every caress. Electricity crackled everywhere our bodies touched.

The throbbing between my legs continued, growing stronger.

“I love you so much.” I moaned against his mouth.

Desperate for his touch. I craved him like my last breath. My hands clung to him, touching every patch of skin I could. Desperate. I was afraid to let go.

Dragging my nails down his back, Lenny’s lips fell from mine. His head dropped back on his shoulders, hissing with pleasure, a growl echoed deep within his chest.

“What you do to me.” He growled. His head sunk down against my neck. Lips latching on to the sensitive tissue just behind my ear. He kissed, licked, and nipped, driving me mad with need.

My hips thrust forward, seeking. My core throbbed achingly, painful, desperate for friction- for him.

For once I was putting myself first. I was taking everything I could from him, not knowing if it would be my last.

This time I wouldn't take no for an answer. This time I would have him. All of him. Even if only for one night.

As if reading my mind, Lenny's hand dropped low, gripping the globe of my ass. His fingers digging into my flesh.

His hips thrust forward, his cock a heat-seeking missile, aimed directly at my core.

My head dropped back against the mattress as a moan poured from my lips.

“Yesss,” I hissed out, completely at his mercy.

He rocked into me again. The rough denim of his jeans teasing along the achingly wet lace of my panties.

“Baby,” One word. A whisper. It held so much. A prayer, a promise. His lips trailed along the curvature of my neck, gentle nips placed along my collarbone.

My nails bit into the soft flesh of his lower back, just below the waistline of his jeans, dragging him in closer.

I needed him. I needed his hard cock nestled deep within me. I needed him in a way I've never needed him before. I needed the reassurance only he could provide.

A promise that we were enough.

I was enough.

“Please,” I begged arching into him. I didn’t care how desperate I sound. All I cared about was him, this moment, relieving the ache between my legs that threatened to consume me.

“Anything,” The word whispered across his lips brushing against my flesh. It was a promise. A promise I intended to collect.

His body slid down mine. His lips leaving a trail down my body. His tongue danced along my pebbled nipple, teasing me.

When his lips slid around the sensitive bud I thought I would come out of my skin. With his lips and tongue teasing the sensitive peak his thumb and forefinger mimicked the movement on my other breast.

My fingers gouged his scalp. Nails biting into the flesh. I pulled him closer. My hips thrusting forward. The soaked lace of my panties leaving a trail of wetness across his lower stomach.

“I need more,” I begged, my hips rising to meet his, craving the friction only he could provide.

With a chuckle, Lenny released my breast with a wet -Plop. His mouth leaving open wet kisses across my midsection as he worked his way down my body.

Thumbs hooked into the waistband. The sound of the material ripping cut through the night. The cool air across my heated core had me gasping for breath.

Thick hands wrapped around my thighs, spreading them wide. Allowing room for his broad shoulders.

I glanced down. Lenny’s heated gaze met mine. A silent challenge flashed across his face, taunting me.

I wouldn't.

I couldn't.

My teeth sank into my lower lip as I thrust my hips forward daring him to deny me.

The arrogant smirk I loved slid across his face. His deep dimples winking back at me.

The breath left my lungs. My head flung back, as his mouth descended on me. His lips wrapping around my pulsing need. His slick wet tongue exploring everything I had to offer.

He licked me. His tongue dove deep into my center, fucking me before retreating to swirl around my bundle of nerves. His lips sucked, pulling around me. He repeated the motion, fucking me with his tongue then swirling it around my clit as though it were the most delicious peak he had ever devoured.

My hand knotted in his hair encouraging him. Holding him hostage.

His hands wrapped around my thighs like a vice pinning me in place. His dominance over my body only turned me on more.

I whimpered and moaned, crying out his name begging for more. The knot in my stomach continued to coil, growing tighter and tighter with every pass of his tongue across my sensitive bundle of nerves.

Lenny took his time, milking me for every whimper and moan he could pull from my lips. The entire time his eyes stayed on me, watching me.

I begged and pleaded. My words falling on deaf ears and he tortured me relentlessly.

“I’ll do anything. Anything for your cock.” I begged. My pleas were met with silent laughter that only served to bring me closer to the edge.

Like a string pulled too tight, I felt the tensions. Sensing the end was near Lenny removed a hand from my thigh. Two fingers sank into my center as his lips latched onto my pulsing bud. The light scraping of his teeth combined with the thrusting of his fingers sent me over the edge, spiraling out of control. I called his name to the heavenly as my body convulsed around him.

His finger continued their assault, his tongue swirling, lips sucking as I rode out my orgasm. Every nerve in my body stood at attention. Dark spots danced in my vision.

I felt my core quivering around his fingers, pulsing.

Lenny’s mouth left me. His fingers slid away leaving me feeling empty. My body was too drained to protest. My limbs felt like Jello.

I felt Lenny's lips on me. Kissing a trail up my body. His tongue slid between the valley of my breasts, kicking away the perspiration that gathered.

“You taste just as delicious as I remembered.” His lips crashed against mine at the same time his cock slid home between my legs.

I gasped in shock at the welcome intrusion. My hips thrusting up to meet him at the same time my mouth fell open in relief.

Lenny took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. I tasted myself on him, rich and heady. I moaned into his mouth. Savoring my flavor on his lips.

With one hand cupping my jaw and the other securely wrapped around my waist, he pounded into me.

His thrusts were firm and strong. Our pelvic bones crashing together. This wasn't lovemaking. This was a raw carnal need. A meeting of two lost souls reclaiming what had been stolen from them.

My nails dug into his biceps as I braced myself against his assault. Our kiss broke. Lenny’s head fell to the mattress beside me, offering the expanse of his neck to me.

I bit into him, marking him as mine. The Letter M inked across the expanse of his back was no longer enough. The need to reclaim him prevailed as I sucked his flesh between my teeth.

Lenny growled. The muscles in his neck taut as he thrust harder, deeper. Accepting my claim. 

My hips met him stroke for stroke. Lenny growled beside me. His cock swelling with desire.

His hand on my hip wrapped around to my ass. His fingers latching on painfully.

He held me close, burying himself in me as far as he could reach. Each thrust a painful reminder of how well we got together.

I released his neck. A dark purple bruise proudly displayed on his neck. My back arched offering him all of me. He took it. Each thrust bringing us closer to the edge.

“Fuck, Baby.” His cock grew heavy. I knew he was teetering on the edge. I was right behind him.

Wrapping my legs around his waist I clung to him. My heels pressing in on the small of his back. The position tilted my hips forward, the head of his cock slamming against my G-spot, hitting me in all the right places.

The tip of his fingers trailed along the crack of my ass, tentative, exploring. Excitement burst from within me.

“Yesss,” the words hissed from my lips, encouraging his exploration.

The pad of his finger found my sacred hole. A zing of electricity shot down my spine. Moaning loudly I pushed back against his hand. His finger pressing against the sensitive ring.

Lenny’s lips attached to the side of my neck, wrapping around the flesh I felt his teeth sink into the delicate flesh. I tilted my head to the side in offering. I gave myself to him, allowing him to claim me for all the world to see.

He was mine and I was his.

Just the thought brought me to orgasm.

My warmth clamped down on him, stars blinding me as my orgasm hit. Lenny reared back, my name falling from his lips as his seed painted my walls, claiming me in every way. He continued to pump into me, emptying his load deep within my walls.

His forehead came down resting against mine. Our breaths mingled as we struggled to regain our composure.

“I love you, so much Mak.” tilting my head my lips pressed against his in a chaste kiss.

“I love you, most,” I whispered against his lips, meaning every word.