Chapter 28

Brooke

I woke up wet. I’d been dreaming of them, Jake and Mark. They were rubbing their dicks all over me, nosing them partway into my mouth, my pussy, my ass. Teasing me, tormenting me. Getting me right up to the edge and keeping me there.

When my eyes snapped open and I awoke, I smiled. Now, it was my turn to take charge of the dream. As I swirled my finger over my clit, I thought of them. I thought of them throwing me onto the bed, ripping off my clothes and coating my body with kisses. They sucked and nibbled on my tits, every little nerve ending on them, until they throbbed with painful pleasure. They lay me flat on the bed, dipping one of their dicks in my mouth and then the other. I sucked as hard as I could, until my jaw ached, and still they jabbed at my throat for more. And then, finally, when the pleasure spiraling out of my pussy overtook me, they spread me on the bed and fucked me. This time, Mark was in my ass, stroking it into submission, and Jake was in my pussy, fucking me for all he was worth. Just like before, they fucked me perfectly in sync. In and out, harder and harder. They tugged my hair. Slapped my ass. Fondled my tits. My bed was whining with our fucking, while the whole room was filled with the slamming-together slap of our eager bodies. Their dicks stayed so hard for so long, it was like they were on Viagra or something. As they jackhammered me, I came—once, twice, three times. Over and over again, I came, yelling, howling at them not to stop, to never stop, to fuck me harder, to never stop fucking me.

And they obliged, and as they fucked me in my imagination, my body on the bed started shaking with a real-life orgasm, this one finally matching the fantasy one. I wailed and writhed. The pleasure entered me, shook me, and finally, delivered me. And then, I was quiet on the bed, thinking about how lucky I was.

Most women had trouble finding one good guy they were attracted to. But me? I’d found two. Two sexy-as-fuck talented studs who were great in bed, successful, and fun. It seemed too good to be true. My stomach lurched. Another one of my Mom’s old signature phrases played in my head, “If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.”

My stomach lurched again and I sighed, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. Last night had been so hot too. And I’d seen it, the indecision written all over their faces. They were getting closer to agreeing to it, I knew it. They had to be.

As I sat myself upright, my phone rang.

“Brooke?”

It was my Mom.

“Oh, hi Mom,” I said.

I hoped I’d said it in a normal, ‘no, I haven’t just been masturbating’ voice. But then again, my mom was an eagle who could spot things from miles away.

This time, luckily, she seemed oblivious, just concerned.

“Honey, it’s been a while since I’ve heard from you. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine, Mom. Sorry, it’s just been this new job, it’s been keeping me really busy.”

“Hm,” she said, “But do you like it? I know it was your dream job, but if it didn’t turn out to be what you thought then.”

“No, no. It was exactly what I hoped for, better even. I get to work in a really nice building, my bosses are great and—”

“Yeah, tell me about your bosses. Those two surgeons who are kind of famous, aren’t they? Mark and Jack.”

“Mark and Jake,” I corrected her, smiling, “Yeah, they’re really nice and fun to work with. It’s a great atmosphere.”

“And they’re pretty handsome too,” my mom said, and I could hear her smiling over the line.

“Mom,” I said.

“Really, though, honey. Would ending up with a nice handsome surgeon be the worst thing? Now I know, I know, you haven’t been much into dating these past few years, but still.”

My phone beeped with another message. It was Mark—speak of the devil.

“Uh Mom, I have another call coming in. Hang on—I’ll be right back.”

I switched over to Mark.

“Hey, what’s up?” I said.

“Just hanging at my place. Want to come over?” he asked.

“Sure,” I said, “Give me 30 minutes, and I’ll be there.”

I hung up and returned to my Mom.

“Sorry about that.”

“Who was that?” she asked.

For a minute, I considered telling her—about Mark, about Jake. But then I heard her disappointed voice in my head, saw her quivering upset lips, and I couldn’t bear it. It was one thing if being a throuple worked out. But Mark and Jake hadn’t even agreed to it yet, or if we tried it and had to part ways, I’d be freaking out my mom over nothing.

“Karly,” I lied, “she forgot her slippers here.”

Which was true. Those big-ass gorilla things were on my kitchen counter, an annoying reminder to return them to her ASAP.

“Okay. Well, I have to get to brunch with the ladies. But I’m glad we got to talk. I miss you.”

“Me too, Mom,” I said, “I’ll come by one weekend in a few weeks.”

“Oh good!” she said, obviously pleased, “Goodbye then!”

“Bye Mom!”

Only once I’d hung up the phone did I exhale in relief. The uncertainty of this Mark and Jake thing was driving me crazy—and now I’d had to lie to my mom because of it. Today when I went over to Mark’s, I was going to demand an answer—right then and there.

Although the closer I got to Mark’s house, the less self-assured I felt. The brief phone conversation with him kept replaying in my head for some reason. Was it just me, or had he seemed to have a sad tremor in this voice, like he knew something I didn’t. Something he was going to tell me when I came over? I shook my head firmly, forced myself to inhale and exhale with a calm slowness. No, that couldn’t be it. I was just freaking out over this because it was so important to me.

When I pulled into Mark’s driveway, there was another car parked on the expansive cobblestone spread. A black Lamborghini. I stared at it for a minute in surprise. Was Jake here too? Now my stomach was twisting with fearful anticipation. I don’t know why I was so sure, but something told me that this wasn’t good…

As soon as I knocked on the door, I had my answer regarding Jake’s presence, both he and Mark answered the door.

“Oh, hi,” I said.

I lowered my gaze. For some reason, at this moment, I felt like a shy little girl with them.

“Hey,” Jake said, giving me an awkward half-hug.

“Hey,” Mark said, doing the same on my other side.

As soon as they’d let me go, I could tell something was wrong.

“So, what’s up?” I asked them in a wavering voice.

No, no, please no, a voice inside my head was moaning. I steeled myself—I didn’t want them to see that I’d caught on already.

Jake could hardly look at me.

“I think you may want to sit down.”

His words hit me like a kick to the gut. I nodded wordlessly, following them to the white leather couches in Mark’s salon. I flopped down on it, trying to calm my harried thoughts. No, this couldn’t be happening. Not when at the dinner last night, they’d been really seriously considering it. I couldn’t get this close to what I’d wanted only to lose them now.

“So,” Mark said, as soon as I sat down.

He glanced at Jake.

“So,” Jake began.

“Just say it,” I said quietly.

Jake put his hand on my thigh.

“Listen Brooke. Mark and I have been talking. He really cares about you. I really care about you too.”

Silence.

“But,” I said quietly.

“But we can’t do it,” Mark burst out, “It just doesn’t feel right. I thought I could get over it, but I can’t. I’m sorry.”

He reached for my hand, but I pulled it away. I rose, pulling away from both of them.

“You know what this means,” I said miserably.

“No,” Jake said in a low voice, his eyes seeking out mine.

“Yes,” I said.

I kept my gaze on my hands. If I looked at either of them, I’d lose it.

“I’m sorry,” I continued. “That means I can’t be with either of you.”

“Brooke,” Mark said, lifting my face to look at him, “I’m sorry. Just look at me. Listen—”

Now I was gazing directing into his misty blue-green eyes, which were now more blue than green. The grief bubbling in me spewed out and I burst into tears.

I ripped myself out of his grasp, and pulled away.

“I’m sorry too, but I have to go.”

I ran to the door. Behind me, someone called out, “Wait! Please!” I couldn’t tell which one it was, but it didn’t matter. Not anymore. With every step I took, my heart was shattering into more and more pieces.

Once in the car, I drove in a blind panic. All I knew was that I had to get home, burrow into my cozy bed and throw the blankets over me.

As I drove, different realizations beat each other out of the way. Why it had never felt quite right with any of the guys I’d dated. Why I’d always felt like there was something missing. It had been two-fold. It had been the wrong guys—and the wrong situation. And now that I’d finally met the right men for me in every sense—physically, mentally, and sexually— now, it wasn’t going to work out. It seemed unbearable, especially since I’d been so close to having everything I’d ever wanted. I’d actually had a taste of what it would feel like—being with two guys who cared deeply for me, and caring deeply for them. To finally experience it, only to have it ripped away at the last second, seemed unbearable.

And all that had happened with Karly, all the things she had said. She’d been right—and wrong. Really, there was no point to it. Life was unfair and stupid. I’d done it, I’d faced my demons and fears about Howlin and this whole throuple thing probably being fucked-up and wrong, and for what? So I could get turned down at literally the last second? And have my heart broken in a new and different—but equally cruel—way in the process?

The enormity of the situation fully crashed over me once I’d scrambled into my apartment and flung myself into my bed and under the blankets. Now I couldn’t be with either of them—ever.