Chapter 4
Lorena watched him go with a certain sense of dread. Her stomach was in knots thinking of what she’d have to tell him.
Lucas Ramirez.
God, she hadn’t seen him in years, and she hadn’t been planning on seeing him ever again. Fate had a twisted sense of humor making sure they were both in that bar the night he almost got into a fight.
And why did she have to be drawn to him anyway? She should’ve just stayed in the bar and finished her drink before heading home like she had planned to do.
She couldn’t believe she hadn’t recognized him at first, but then again he looked totally different from what she remembered. He was no longer her height, he had grown taller, and he had filled out so much more since she had last seen him.
He was also so much more confident around women, clearly he had turned into a womanizer.
She remembered what he was like in high school, right before college. They used to be crazy about each other, he didn’t have eyes for anyone else, but after a year together, one of the most difficult things that could happen to a couple of teenagers happened.
Lorena got pregnant.
At first, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to keep the baby, and Lucas was just as confused, but he told her he’d support whatever decision she wanted to make although she was sure he was terrified.
In the end, they decided to keep the baby, and for the first month, they were very happy.
Until the unthinkable happened.
She lost the baby.
The doctor said that it happens sometimes during the first trimester, but Lorena couldn’t help but feel like she had done something wrong. She didn’t know what, but surely it was her fault.
Lucas withdrew into himself, unsure of how to help her.
Lorena pushed him away, spent a lot of time sleeping, and refused to do anything with him. The hole in her heart was too real, too palpable to just go on living as if nothing happened.
Breathing hurt, living hurt, so she just settled for existing.
She didn’t know how to climb back out of the hole of despair she suddenly found herself in, and all of a sudden she wasn’t sure she wanted to.
Lucas stopped trying to reach out to her after all, and that hurt even more, but she knew it was because he didn’t know how to reach her. He would touch her gently as if afraid she’d break.
One day, she couldn’t stand the gentleness anymore, so she had a little too much to drink. Lucas came home after a night spent at the bar.
When he slipped into bed next to her, she reached out and hesitantly touched him. Lucas held her hand loosely between his; his brown eyes surprisingly clear despite the alcohol on his breath. “Are you sure? Lor, if you aren’t ready, we can wait.”
Lorena began to stroke his chest before she climbed on top of him and straddled him. She pushed herself up against him before she pressed her lips to his.
“I don’t want to wait anymore.”
A few weeks later, he got a letter saying that he had been accepted to a university in America on a double scholarship. He would be studying psychology and basketball.
He didn’t want to leave her, she knew that, but she also knew that this was his dream, and she’d hate herself if she got in the way of that.
He packed his bags, and she watched him move through airport security. She watched his plane take off, and she placed her hand on her stomach, knowing that there was no way that she could tell him that she was pregnant again.
If she carried to term, she would raise this child by herself, so that Lucas could have the chance to pursue his dream.
She never regretted that decision although sometimes she wondered if she had made the right choice. Lucas was the father after all, and she didn’t consult him.
But after a while, it just seemed easier to tell their daughter that her father was out there and didn’t know she existed. She thought she was protecting her.
Especially after they moved to the states, and she heard all about him and his reputation.
What kind of environment would that be for a little girl?
Besides, she knew that Lucas had dreams that were too big for Madrid, that’s why he moved to America to make them work. It had gone from a pipe dream to a reality, and she was happy for him.
She bit her lip as she wondered why she had agreed to go to the beach with him. She wondered if any good would actually come out of it. She just knew that once he flashed her that smile, she couldn’t say no.
Now she would have to tell him about Elena.
She had his eyes, his beautiful chocolate brown eyes, and her heart twisted a little in her chest whenever her daughter turned her mischievous glint towards her.
Lorena loved her daughter more than anything on this Earth, and there was nothing she wouldn’t do to protect her.
But she had to at least give Lucas a chance before she wrote him off.
She finished her lunch and signaled for the check, glad that she didn’t have any classes today. She never would’ve been able to focus on teaching the kids with her brain in a million different places at once.
She gathered her scattered thoughts as she paid for her meal and made her way out of the café.
She checked her watch and realized she had about fifteen minutes left till they were supposed to meet, so she straightened her handbag and began the walk to the café.
She made it there with five minutes to spare and she leaned against the wall as she watched the people coming and going wondering what their lives were like.
Wondering if any of them had ever made a decision to protect their child. Some of them probably had, some of them probably wondered about it every day.
She bet a lot of them didn’t think twice though knowing what kind of dangers were out there in the world.
Mostly, she wondered about her own decision. What impact would integrating Lucas have on Elena’s life?
She had to hope it was for the best.
She spotted Lucas a while later strolling towards her in his washed out jeans and shirt. She noticed how women who passed by him paused to stare. Lucas just had that energy about him, and with his sinewy muscles and that sparkle in his chocolate brown eyes, women no doubt swooned over him.
She was one of those women once.
If she were being honest with herself, she was still very much attracted to him, but she couldn’t let that have any bearing on what she was about to tell him. She had to do the right thing for Elena now.
Whether or not they would ever have anything again didn’t matter as long as Elena had her father.
“Hey,” Lucas said as he finally reached her.
“Hey,” she responded as she gazed at him taking in the angles of his face, and the way it was brought out by the slight copper in his hair.
“Ready to go? My car is just around the corner,” he jabbed a finger in the direction of the car.
“Let’s go.”
They walked quietly to the car, the air charged with the weight of all the things they wanted to say, but couldn’t.
***
Lorena looked around as Lucas pulled up to a quiet spot on the beach an hour later. The car ride over had been awkward first with Lucas trying to draw her out of her shell, and Lorena terrified of letting down her wall.
She would respond in monosyllables at first until finally he brought up one particular memory of her trying to cook and nearly burning the house down that had her laughing till tears ran down her face.
After that, they simply fell into old habits.
They got out of the car and took off their shoes as they let their toes sink into the sand.
“I love how the sand feels between my toes,” she whispered quietly.
Lucas smiled as he dug his feet in. “I remember you saying that. I love how it smells here. It’s hard to remember that smell when you live in the city, but once you’re here, it just permeates the senses.”
Lorena gave him a small smile as she shoved her hands in her pockets and began to wriggle her toes. She sighed as she felt some of the tension drain away as she walked towards the water.
She took in a huge gulp of salty air and let it fill her lungs completely before she released it. “The rest of the world just melts away out here,”
“It does,” Lucas agreed from behind her as she felt rather than saw him stand next to her. He dipped his toes into the water. “The water is warm,”
Lorena gave him a wry smile. “Nice try. I’m not falling for that trick.”
“What trick?”
“You flinched when you dipped your toes just now. You want to tell me that was a reflex?”
Lucas gave her a sheepish smile. “Won’t know unless you try.”
“Why would I”- she was interrupted when a splash of water drenched her. She sputtered as she stared at Lucas who looked as delighted as a kid during Christmas.
The water was warm, but that didn’t mean she was going to let it slide. She gave him an innocent smile before she splashed him right back.
He spit the water out of his mouth as he stared at her through hooded eyes.
“Oh, it’s on.”
They began a water fight much like the ones they used to have in Madrid when they were younger, and things were great between them. In that hour as they splashed each other, each trying to get the other to surrender, all the years melted away, and it was like they were back in Spain having some fun before they headed home for the night.
Lucas threw himself onto the beach. “I give up.”
“You are- what do the Americans call it? A chicken,” she began to make chicken noises at him.
Lucas pretended to be offended. “And you are what they call a sore loser.”
Lorena surprised herself and him by throwing her head back and laughing before she plopped next to him on the sand.
They lay there, side by side, their bodies barely touching as they breathed deeply and stared at the deep blue sky. The sun shone down on them, its rays warming them up.
Unknowingly, Lorena had moved closer to Lucas and had fitted herself to his side. He placed one arm around her just like he used to do.
Lorena took a deep breath before she looked up at Lucas who was already gazing at her.
“Que pasa?”
“I need to tell you something, but before I do you, you have to promise you’ll wait till I’m finished before you say anything, and please think very carefully before you make a decision because it is a big deal.”
“Are you offering to be my sponsor?” Lucas teased.
Lorena slapped him on the arm, an amused smile tugging on the corner of her lips before she sobered up.
“When I told you to go to America, when you got that scholarship, I knew that I had to let you go, so you could pursue your dream. So I convinced you that it was okay.”
“I know why you did it, Lor. We agreed we’d try the long distance thing, but it was too hard after a while, I thought we both agreed to that.”
Lorena gave an exasperated sigh. “Would you stop interrupting?”
Lucas held up his hand and mimed shutting his mouth.
“It was the right decision at the time, but what I didn’t tell you is that I was pregnant.”
She proceeded to tell Lucas the story, why she had made the decisions she made, and Lucas listened quietly nodding to let her know he was keeping up.
When she was finished, she waited anxiously for his reaction.
“I’m sorry.”
“What?” she whispered unsure of where this was coming from.
“I’m sorry I made you feel like you were alone when you lost the baby, and like you had to let me go, so that I could pursue my dream while you raised our daughter. That wasn’t fair to you, and I wish you had told me the truth, but I understand why you didn’t.”
“Really?”
He rolled over, so he was looming on top of her. “Really. When can I meet Elena?”
Lorena laughed, a lovely carefree sound. “How about tonight? She’s with the baby sitter right now, but we can go see her.”
Lucas leaned in and nuzzled her neck. “I like that-we.” He pulled back and gazed at her, his eyes full of questions. Lorena nodded as he pressed his lips to hers.
He kissed her slowly at first, as if taking his time letting the years reacquaint him with what his body already knew, but soon his kissing grew more insistent, and he gently bit down on her bottom lip. She parted her lips and groaned as their tongues battled for dominance.
She lifted her hips and pressed herself closer causing Lucas to moan in the back of his throat. His hands ran up and down her body leaving goosebumps in his wake.
Lorena ran her hands over his back and snaked them underneath his shirt. She helped him out as he helped her out of her shirt.
He placed both hands on her breasts and began to knead them till her breasts practically spilled out of her bra, and all the while Lorena was writhing, gasping like a swimmer who was desperate for air.
She reached between them and placed her hand above his crotch and began to stroke. Lucas smiled against her as he grinded into her hand. He brought her hands up slowly and wrapped them around his neck.
He reached down and lay his hand on top of her crotch and watched as her eyes glazed over with uncontrolled desire. He unzipped his jeans and kicked them off as Lorena watched him through hooded eyes.
She kicked off her own jeans and watched as his eyes trailed over her body. He unclasped her bra and took one breast in his mouth. He began to suck and lick until Lorena was practically clawing on his back. He took the other breast and did the same till both her nipples were erect. She impatiently grinded against him until he finally tore himself away and lowered his boxers.
He thrust into her in one quick stroke, and they began to move together in wild abandon not caring if the whole world heard them. He began to nibble on her ears and bit her neck as he steadily thrust into her.
She ran her hands up and down his back and over his hips causing him to tremble in desire.
They finally came together, both of them shouting, their voices echoing on that empty beach.
“Let’s go home,” he finally said a while later as he was stroking her back.
Lorena smiled up at him as they got dressed and moved towards his car. They got in and drove towards Elena, towards their future.
THE END