Chapter 19
The next morning, Jessica looked out the window of her room, her gaze following Michael and Blake as Michael gave her potential sponsor a tour of the yard, and finally took him into the stables to introduce him to Tempest. Jessica knew she should be accompanying the pair on the tour, but she couldn’t make herself endure any more time in close proximity to Blake, especially when Michael was also present. Ever since Blake arrived yesterday, there had been a handful of occasions where she would swear that he had maneuvered a situation so they could be alone, then he would touch her hand, or her arm, or just for a second or two put his hand on her back, while speaking to her about her progress with Tempest, in such a way that she couldn’t object, but knew by his heated looks that he was pressing for more. It was very frustrating, and worse, she realized that Michael was noticing Blake’s attempts at flirtation and had grown more distant and angry as the day progressed. Jessica didn’t know what to do.
The tension between Michael and Blake was palpable, and she didn’t have any time alone with Michael to explain that she was trying to be polite to Blake, but was doing everything she could to keep him at arm’s length. It was so difficult for Jessica to walk the fine line she needed to in order to maintain Blake’s support, but discourage his advances.
To add to Jessica’s frustration, Liz and Hailey had noticed Blake’s attitude toward Jessica and the heated glances he made no effort to hide. Liz had taken her aside and tried to warn her. “Jess, be careful with Blake. He doesn’t seem to understand that just by buying you a horse doesn’t mean he’s bought you as well.”
Jessica groaned her frustration. “How am I supposed to do that, Liz? Blake is a man who is used to having women much more beautiful and sophisticated than me throw themselves at him without shame, and isn’t accustomed to rejection. Tell me how to discourage him without jeopardizing my chances to have him as a sponsor, and I’ll be eternally grateful.”
Liz had shrugged in sympathy, clearly at a loss to help. “It may be that you just have to tell him point blank how things are. If he decides not to support you, so be it. If the USDF knew that he was sexually harassing you to keep his support, they would end their relationship and find another sponsor. I’ll make sure of it.”
“You make it sound so easy.” Jessica sighed. “All right, Liz. That’s exactly what I’ll do.” Jessica had resolved that first thing tomorrow she would do just that, and turned to go up to her room.
As she turned, Liz had reached out to touch Jess’s arm to stop her for just a moment. There was something else she was curious about, and needed to ask Jess to make sure she understood. “Jess,” Liz said. “What’s going on between you and Michael? I sense that he’s more to you than just a trainer. Am I right?”
Jessica blushed a bright red and looked anywhere but in Liz’s eyes. “Yes, Liz. Michael and I have grown very close during my time here. In fact, I think I’m falling in love with him. Better yet, I think he feels the same, although he hasn’t actually said the words yet.” As she confessed her feelings, Jessica looked up and met Liz’s eyes. Liz could see the love reflected there and smiled broadly.
“That’s great, Jess. I’m so happy for you.”
“Please don’t say anything to Michael. I’m not certain of his feelings, and don’t want him to feel any pressure, especially with Blake here right now.”
“My lips are sealed.” Liz responded with a smile.
Jessica had squeezed Liz’s hand and then had gone up to her room.
Jessica and Michael had decided to curtail their nightly encounters while Blake was in the house, and as a result, Jessica had trouble sleeping. She missed the closeness she and Michael had developed in their short time together. She smiled to herself as she reflected how her relationship with Michael had blossomed over the past month. She knew without a doubt that she was falling in love with him. When they were together, there was no one else, and there was no place she’d rather be.. When she considered that one of them would win and one would lose in this competition for Tempest, her heart sank. She wished with all her heart there could be a way they could both benefit from this competition, but after racking her brain, she couldn’t think of a thing.
Realizing that there was no way she was going to sleep, and feeling a bit hungry, she decided to raid Michael’s kitchen. Maybe a cup of tea and a fresh blueberry scone would help her relax so she could get some sleep. She would need her rest to stay sharp tomorrow. It had become clear from Blake’s behavior toward her as she showed him to his room that he expected Jessica to be grateful to him for offering to buy her a horse. Jessica was grateful, of course, but she got the definite impression that Blake expected her to show her gratitude by sleeping with him.
Jessica blushed again as she recalled her confession to Liz, but the more she thought about it, she was certain that Michael was her perfect match. She vowed she would get up the courage to confess her true feelings to him as soon as they were alone. Unfortunately, that opportunity would probably have to wait until Blake left to go back to the States. Jessica’s stomach growled, and she realized that she really hadn’t eaten that much for dinner. Stress caused by Blake’s visit and Michael’s reaction to Blake and his treatment of her had effectively ruined her appetite. Now, however, she had relaxed a bit, and was ready for some sustenance, even if was only a midnight snack. She made her way down to the kitchen and put some water on to boil. After starting the teakettle, she searched in the cupboard and found tea leaves, then found a scone in the bread box on the counter.
Suddenly, she felt another presence in the room, and looked up to see Blake in the kitchen doorway, watching her intently. A cold chill washed over Jessica when she saw the intensity of Blake’s stare. She instantly regretted her decision to venture into the kitchen alone, and looked around desperately for a possible excuse to make her escape. Unfortunately, Blake had already seen the teapot on to boil, and the tea leaves and scone on the counter.
“I see I wasn’t the only one with hunger pangs,” Blake said, his gaze never leaving Jessica’s face. “Do you mind if I join you?”
“No, of course not,” Jessica responded, attempting as best she could to exhibit a casual demeanor. “I was just making some tea. There are scones in the bread box if you want one.”
“Actually, I see something far sweeter and much more desirable right in front of me,” Blake, with a lascivious smile on his face, approached Jessica, and before she realized his intention, gripped her upper arms to hold her in place, and kissed her. Stunned at Blake’s blatant aggression, Jessica froze in place, and he pinned her against the kitchen counter. Blake’s kiss was anything but gentle. His cool, thin lips pressed harshly to Jessica’s mouth, crushing her lips against her teeth. Jessica actually tasted blood from the assault on her mouth. She attempted to struggle, but Blake’s superior strength held her in place, and she couldn’t move. She knew from the pain in her arms that his violent grip there was causing bruises.
Jessica resisted Blake’s attempt to thrust his tongue into her mouth, and frantically tried to think about how she could extract herself from this situation with her dignity and self-respect intact, when she saw Michael appear at the kitchen door. Thank God! Michael, please help me! Then, to Jessica’s shock, Michael’s expression changed from surprise, to hurt, to anger in quick succession, then he spun around and left the room. Jessica’s heart sank. No! He thinks I’ve betrayed him just like Emma. Her heart sank, and she must have let some of the tension leave her body, because Blake let go of his grip of her arms, and started moving his hands over her body.
Blake had started to pull Jessica’s T-shirt up so he could have easier access to her breasts, and she knew she needed to act quickly or lose control completely. She fought her instinct to panic and in her now adrenaline-fueled sense of awareness realized that Blake’s legs were straddling her own leaving her legs relatively free and his most vulnerable spot unguarded. She quickly judged her ability to use her knee to catch Blake in the groin, and launched her defense.
Her knee caught Blake exactly where it needed to and he immediately collapsed, howling in pain, and cursing her as loudly as he could, considering his throat was constricted in pain. Jessica took advantage of his collapse to run from the kitchen, her thoughts entirely on finding Michael. Unfortunately, Blake recovered more quickly than she anticipated, and, with a furious growl, lunged at Jessica. She narrowly escaped his outstretched hands, and realized that if she truly wanted to be safe from Blake, she would have to go back to her bedroom and lock the door.
Jessica hurried back to her room and quickly locked the door. Not long after that, she heard Blake’s footsteps prowling the hallway. He stopped outside her door, and tested the knob. When he realized the door was locked, she heard him curse under his breath. Jessica waited, knowing that if he really wanted to, Blake could break through the flimsy lock on Jessica’s bedroom door, but Blake, likely knowing any further efforts on his part to get to Jessica would wake the others, stepped away from the door.
Jessica knew this would be her best chance to let Blake know exactly how she felt, just in case her response to him in the kitchen wasn’t clear enough. She walked closer to the door to ensure that he heard her loud and clear without alerting the entire house of what had happened. “Mr. McMillan, I hope it’s clear to you by now that I have no interest in a relationship with you beyond your sponsorship of me as a dressage rider. If you agree to abide by my rules, I won’t report your behavior to the authorities or the USDF and we can continue as sponsor and beneficiary. If you can’t, then we must end this relationship here and now.”
Blake growled his response. “After what just transpired, Miss Warren, I want nothing further to do with you. Clearly you have no interest in associating with me other than to take my money. Under those circumstances, I choose to spend my money elsewhere. After tonight, you will never see me again. I trust that my actions will convince you not to involve the authorities in this matter. What happened between us was simply a misunderstanding. Nothing more. Good night, and good luck.”
Blake continued down the hallway to his room. She heard his door close, and no further sounds came from that direction. She sighed in relief and took a quick inventory of her physical condition. Other than bruised and cracked lips, and bruises circling her upper arms where Blake had gripped her, she was unharmed. She walked to her bed, and sat on the edge, collecting her thoughts. Where had Michael gone after walking away, and what was he thinking? It was clear that he believed she and Blake were locked in a passionate embrace, and that she had betrayed him. Would he believe her when she told him the truth?
More importantly, could she forgive him for thinking the worst of her and leaving her to fight Blake off on her own? She thought about trying to find Michael and talking to him right away, but decided against it. In the state he was in, there was little likelihood he would listen to her explanation. It would have to wait until morning. With a heavy sigh, Jessica laid back on top of the coverlet and stared at the ceiling knowing she wouldn’t be getting any sleep tonight.
Hailey closed the door to her bedroom and reflected over what she had just heard. She had gotten up and was maneuvering her wheelchair toward the bathroom, when she heard voices at the top of the stairs and stopped. From what she had heard, she surmised that Blake had tried to sexually assault Jess, and that Jess had rebuffed him enough to make him extremely angry. She grinned to herself. Good for you, Jess. Unfortunately, it also sounded as though Jess no longer had a sponsor. Although she knew Jess would be devastated if she couldn’t win Tempest, she also knew that Jessica would never allow herself to be some man’s plaything in exchange for an expensive horse. Jessica did the only thing she could have done and stayed true to herself, but there would be consequences. There would certainly be a lot to talk about tomorrow. She quietly resumed her trip to the bathroom, returned to her room, and went back to sleep.
Michael stalked out of the house, his fists clenched, his jaw locked. He had the urge to hit something, hard. How dare she? How dare Jessica string him along and lead him to believe she cared for him when all along she was waiting for her rich, powerful lover to arrive and sweep her off her feet? What I fool I was, falling for her sweet, innocent, wholesome facade. She looked anything but sweet and innocent in Blake McMillan’s arms.
Earlier that night, he had been in his bed missing not only her soft, warm, pliant body in his arms, but also the playful banter they usually shared and quiet acceptance he felt when with her when he heard her leave her room to go down to what he suspected was the kitchen for a late-night snack. He was smug in the realization that she couldn’t sleep either, most likely missing him as much as he missed her. He had expected to find her alone and share at the very least a midnight snack, and possibly more, when he approached the kitchen and found Jessica passionately embracing Blake McMillan. In that instant, shock led to hurt, which led quickly to anger. I’m such a fool.
He marched angrily out to the stable, hoping to find some solace in the company of the slumbering horses, but even there, his memories of their nights making love in the loft came back to him, angering him even further. Tempest was awake in his stall, and nickered to Michael as he walked down the aisle. Michael knew he couldn’t approach the stallion in his present state, or Tempest would sense the tension and respond accordingly. He took some deep, cleansing breaths, forced himself to relax, and felt the tension in his body ebb. Once he felt calm, he walked over and rubbed the stallion’s neck absently.
“How could I have been so wrong about her, old man?” he asked the stallion. “She seemed so honest and uncomplicated.” Tempest nudged Michael then rested his head against Michael’s chest as if offering him comfort. Michael scratched his forehead. “Thanks, boy. I appreciate the sympathy. I’ll need more of that in the coming weeks.” He left the barn and walked around the property seeking some relief from the tremendous hurt he was feeling as a result of Jessica’s betrayal. Unfortunately, everywhere he walked on the property triggered a memory of time spent with Jessica. Eventually, he made his way back to the house, half expecting to find Jessica still in Blake’s arms, but to his surprise, the kitchen was deserted. Apparently, the pair had decided to take their reunion to a more private location, either her room or his most likely. He noticed that the teakettle was still heating on the stove and turned the heat off. Surely, neither would be returning tonight. As he went back up to his bedroom to attempt to sleep, Michael resolved that Jessica would feel his displeasure at her betrayal tomorrow.
Jessica awoke the next morning after a fitful night dreading meeting both Blake and Michael, but resolved to straighten things out with both of them. She dragged herself out of bed, and opened her bedroom door as silently as possible, then scanned the hallway to see if anyone else was up. Thankfully, the first person she saw was Liz, who was up and had already showered, anticipating watching a training session with Michael coaching Jessica on Tempest later that morning. Jessica rushed to take a shower herself, then made her way to breakfast. She was feeling a bit sore from her altercation with Blake last night, but she covered the bruises on her arms with a long-sleeved t-shirt and her bruised lips didn’t appear too swollen after she applied cold water to them after her shower.
“Good morning,” Liz greeted warmly. “Are you ready for our training session today? I’ve been very impressed with the progress you and Michael have made together, and I really want to see you work Tempest in person.”
“Sure,” Jessica replied. “As soon as I finish my scone and have some coffee, we can go out.”
“Have you seen Michael?” Liz asked. “I thought he’d be coaching you while I watch you this morning.”
“I haven’t seen him since last night,” Jessica replied. “Have you seen Blake?”
“He left a note saying that he was going to London for a few days, and didn’t know when he would be back.” Liz said. “Business apparently.”
“So he’s gone?” Jessica couldn’t believe her ears. She breathed a sigh of relief. Then, her heart sank. She needed to see Michael as soon as possible and explain to him that what he saw was not as it appeared. Although she knew that her future with Tempest was probably non-existent after what had happened last night, her thoughts were entirely on Michael, and doing everything she could to preserve their relationship. She had to talk to him.
Jessica finished her breakfast, and she and Liz made their way to the barn. Jessica tacked up Tempest, all the while looking toward the house anticipating Michael’s appearance at any time. Finally, after she had donned her safety helmet and mounted Tempest, and Liz was talking to her in the outdoor arena, Michael exited the house and approached them. Jessica tensed when she saw Michael’s demeanor. He walked rigidly, his fists clenched at his sides as if he were struggling to hold himself back from doing something physically harmful to someone. When he looked at Jessica, she felt his cold, hostile stare, and knew she had her work cut out for her. The only feeling she got from him was anger, even hatred. She shuddered inwardly.
Liz appeared not to notice Michael’s hostility, but Jessica had become sensitive to Michael’s moods and immediately stiffened. Tempest picked up Jessica’s tension, and began swishing his tail nervously in response. Jessica tried to quiet the stallion, but her efforts weren’t working, so Liz suggested she start working to alleviate the tension. As they began trotting around the arena, Jessica relaxed, and Tempest responded right away, relaxing and moving forward with his usual confidence.
Michael had to exercise superhuman control to stop himself from expressing his anger and disgust with Jessica in front of Liz. Later, when they were alone, he would make certain that Jessica knew exactly how he felt about her blatant betrayal. As he watched Jessica ride, he seethed at the improvements in her riding that he personally had provided her through his training. He also, however, saw some flaws in her riding that he felt a perverse pleasure in pointing out to her, now being as good a time as any to do so, in his mind.
“Jessica, watch your position,” Michael called out. “You’re not centered as you should be.”
“All right.” Jessica re-adjusted her seat and checked her position. Everything seemed in correct alignment from what she could see.
Liz shot a quizzical look at Michael. Jessica’s position looked fine. Michael ignored her glance, focusing completely on Jessica and Tempest.
Once Tempest had been sufficiently warmed up, Liz asked Jessica to start riding the Grand Prix Special test, so she could get a feel for where the two needed work. Jessica began to do so, when Michael interjected again.
“I’m not sure she’s ready to ride the entire test, Liz. She’s been having trouble with the transitions between piaffe and passage, and I think we should be working on that instead.”
Jessica heard Michael’s comment to Liz, and her temper flared. They had been practicing those transitions frequently, and had gotten them nearly perfect. There was no need to go over them again. She stopped Tempest and walked him over to Liz and Michael to make that exact point. Michael saw that Jessica was irritated with him, and smiled to himself. Good. It serves her right. It’s the least I owe her after what she’s done to me.
Liz didn’t understand the dynamic that was playing out between Michael and Jessica, but decided that it wouldn’t hurt to work the transitions quickly before moving on to ride the test, so at Liz’s request, Jessica ground her teeth and took Tempest to the middle of the arena.
They started with several steps of passage, transitioned to ten steps of piaffe, then transitioned back into the passage. From Jessica’s perspective the stallion was working very well, and she was ready to move forward, but Michael wouldn’t let them go. The transition from piaffe back to passage was never good enough for him, no matter what she did. She finally asked him as sarcastically as possible what he suggested she do to improve their performance.
“You need to use the spur at exactly the point of the transition, to keep him coming through from behind all the way through it,” he said, putting as much exasperation in his voice as he possibly could. His tone was one of condescension and long-suffering frustration. “We’ve gone over this many times. Use the spur, and if the spur isn’t enough, tap him with the whip.” Jessica had noted that Tempest was losing patience with this constant repetition, and was tensing and irritated. He was pinning his ears and swishing his tail and had become extremely sensitized to her aids. She knew if they continued in this vein, he would eventually erupt in a nasty temper tantrum. She would be damned, however, if she would let Michael see her apprehension. He would just use it to accuse her of being a timid rider, afraid to assert herself with the willful stallion.
Liz attempted to intervene. “Michael, I don’t think . . .”
“Fine,” Jessica said, her temper near the boiling point. Tempest, sensing her anger, and not knowing whether or not he was the source, shook his head, and snorted his confusion and irritation. Jessica knew Tempest was warning her that his tolerance was nearing an end, but she was so angry at Michael’s attitude toward her, she ignored the signs. It hurt Jessica deeply that Michael had seemingly forgotten all of the time they had spent together, and in one brief, fleeting moment was willing to believe that she was just another untrustworthy woman like Emma without even taking the time to assess the reality of the situation.
Just as Jessica was poised to again execute the transition, one of Michael’s barn cats streaked through the arena, chasing a mouse she had seen on the other side, going right between Tempest’s back legs. As far as Tempest was concerned, that was the last straw.
The stallion gathered himself and leaped into the air, twisting his body, then upon hitting the ground threw his head down between his front legs and executed a vicious buck, then spun on his hindquarters ninety degrees and bolted. Jessica tried valiantly to hold on, but when Tempest bucked, she lost her balance, and when he spun there was no way she could hold on. She was launched out of the saddle, and landed on her shoulder, then her helmeted head hit the ground hard. Michael and Liz heard the impact. When the dust cleared, Jessica laid still on the ground, not moving at all.
“Oh my God, Jess!” Liz cried, as she ran to Jessica’s side.
Michael, his heart in this throat, was right there with her, berating himself as a fool for pushing Jessica and Tempest until the horse finally had enough. Damn it, you should have known better than to take your temper out in this way. You may have just killed the woman you love. Yes, even after her betrayal, Michael knew he was still in love with her. As soon as he reached Jessica, he could see that she was unconscious, and unresponsive to Liz’s attempts to communicate, but still breathing. He took out his cell phone and called for an ambulance. One of his barn workers heard the commotion and caught Tempest, who was now acting like a tired old plow horse, and took him into the barn to untack and put away.
Jessica had still not regained consciousness when the ambulance arrived, and her shoulder appeared to be twisted in an unnatural position, so Michael surmised that she had either dislocated it or suffered a broken collar bone. The EMT’s confirmed the collar bone was indeed broken, and gently placed Jessica on a gurney. As soon as she was placed in the ambulance they rushed her to the hospital in Guildford. Hailey had been in the house eating a leisurely breakfast when she heard the commotion and rushed out as quickly as she could using her prosthetics and crutches to see what had happened to Jessica.
“Michael, what happened?” Hailey cried.
“It’s Jess, Hailey. Tempest threw a temper tantrum and bucked her off. The paramedics think she has a concussion and a broken collar bone. We’re taking her to the hospital now.”
“I want to go too.” Hailey looked at Michael, then Liz. “How could this happen? Jess and Tempest had been getting along fine. You even said that they are a brilliant pair. What changed?”
Liz couldn’t help but wonder the same thing. According to Jessica, she and Michael cared deeply for each other, and their training sessions with Tempest had been going well. How had things changed in just the past twenty-four hours?
“Yes, Michael,” Liz said. “I’ve been watching you and Jess work with Tempest for weeks now. There has never been any problem like this. Can you explain what’s going on?”
Michael grimaced as if in pain. “It was all my fault. I was angry with Jessica and provoked her into losing her temper. While we were arguing, neither of us realized the Tempest was becoming more and more agitated. All it took was the cat to provide the trigger, and he went off. I’m so sorry. I want you to know that I love Jessica very much, and whatever happens between her and Blake McMillan, my feelings won’t change. I’ll do everything I can to support your sister with Tempest.”
Liz and Hailey both stared at Michael in shock. They looked at each other, then back at Michael to make sure he was serious. Finally, Hailey spoke. “Oh, Michael, didn’t Jess tell you? Blake tried to force himself on her last night and she fought back. He got angry and made it very clear that he was no longer interested in sponsoring her. He left early this morning. Good riddance if you ask me.”
Michael was stunned at Hailey’s revelation. The next wave of emotion that crashed over him was pure rage, first at Blake then at himself. Apparently, the scene he had walked in on wasn’t a passionate embrace but a sexual assault, and he had walked away and left Jessica to fend for herself. He was not only an idiot, he was nearly as much of a bastard as Blake himself. If Jessica ever spoke to him again, he had a lot of groveling and explaining to do. He vowed then and there that whatever he had to do to make Jessica his forever, he would do it. This was the woman he loved and whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Of this, he had no doubts.
The three of them rushed to Michael’s car and followed the ambulance to the hospital. Hailey and Liz took care of the admission paperwork in the Emergency Room, as the doctors and nurses examined Jessica. While Jessica was still unconscious, they set her collarbone, and wrapped the shoulder so she couldn’t displace the bone if she regained consciousness and was disoriented. As they were finishing the wrapping, Jessica moaned as the pain penetrated her consciousness and she slowly began to awaken. The medical team in the ER gave her morphine for the pain, and Jessica soon calmed. Hailey and Liz accompanied Jessica into the treatment area, but Michael decided that he might not be welcome, so he paced in the waiting room and hoped that Liz and Hailey would keep him informed of Jessica’s condition.
While he paced, Michael continued to berate himself for his behavior with Jessica. It was entirely his fault that Jessica was hurt, possible permanently injured. He couldn’t deny that it was their argument that had caused Tempest to be so on edge that all it took was a crazy cat to set him off. He would not be able to live with himself if Jessica suffered permanent injury due to his childish temper tantrum. After nearly an hour of anxious waiting, Hailey emerged from the treatment area and informed Michael that Jessica was awake, and other than suffering from a throbbing headache and the pain from her broken collarbone, she seemed to be all right. The doctors had diagnosed a severe concussion, however, and were requiring Jessica spend at least twenty-four hours in the hospital for observation.
“Can I see her?” Michael asked.
“Actually, she was asking for you,” Hailey said. “Just don’t stay too long. She needs her rest.”
“No problem.” Michael followed Hailey back to Jessica’s room, where he found Liz sitting by the bed, holding Jessica’s hand and trying to make sure she was comfortable. Jessica looked pale, and weak, but he could tell that she was aware of her surroundings, and didn’t appear to have suffered any brain damage from her fall. Thank God she had been wearing a helmet. If she hadn’t, she would probably be dead.
Michael shuddered with the realization of how close he had come to losing her. He vowed this would never happen again. Not while she was in his life. If he had his way, that would be from now on. Forever.
“Liz, honestly, they have me on so much pain medication, I’m not sure I can stand even if I wanted to,” Jessica was trying to reassure Liz that she wasn’t going to try to walk out of the hospital before the doctors gave her permission to leave.
Jessica looked up when Michael appeared at the door. She could feel the tension he was holding. She smiled in an attempt to put him at ease and to reassure him that she was going to be all right, and that she wasn’t blaming him for her fall. “Michael, hi. Please come in.” She cast a speaking look at Liz, “Liz was just leaving, and taking Hailey with her.” Liz nodded and drew Hailey out of the room, leaving Jessica and Michael alone.
“Jess, I don’t know what to say,” Michael started, guilt edging his voice. “This is all my fault. I should never have argued with you while you were riding Tempest. My actions were unforgivable.”
Jessica looked at Michael, her gaze unwavering. “I have to take some of the blame as well, Michael,” Jessica responded. “I let my temper get the best of me, too. I couldn’t let your criticisms go without doing everything I could to prove you wrong. I could tell Tempest was getting tense, but quite frankly I didn’t care. I only wanted to prove you wrong.”
She plucked absently at the blanket on her hospital bed as she considered what to say next. “About Blake, I know how it must have looked to you to see Blake with me in the kitchen. If I had actually been making out with him as it probably looked like I was, if I were you, I would have been mad, too. I want to make sure you know it wasn’t what you thought. That being said, I am hurt and disappointed that you were so quick to draw the worst conclusion about me and didn’t allow yourself to believe I was different from Emma.”
Michael forced himself to look into Jessica’s eyes. “Hailey told me what really happened last night with Blake. I owe you an apology for assuming the worst about you. I should have known you better than to assume that you and Blake were lovers behind my back.”
Jessica frowned. “Hailey knew? She must have overhead my ultimatum to Blake after I escaped from him and locked myself into my room. What actually happened last night was that Blake found me in the kitchen making tea, and forced himself on me. He pinned me to the counter, and gripped my arms so that I couldn’t defend myself, or push him away.” She showed him the bruises circling her upper arms as proof of Blake’s brutality. “It was only the fact that he left my legs relatively free, and I was able to knee him forcefully in the groin that I was able to escape him and lock myself in my bedroom for the rest of the night.”
“I’m so sorry, Jess. The fact that I left you to fend for yourself against a brutal predator shames me irrevocably. I wonder why you’re still speaking to me at all.” If Michael felt guilty before, he felt even more so now. It had been so easy for him to put Jessica in the same class as Emma without even a thought for how different the two of them were, and how much more he cared for Jessica than he ever had for Emma. Coupled with his own guilt was a tremendous anger at Blake for his behavior. He felt like tearing the bloke’s head off. No man should ever treat a woman the way Blake had treated Jessica. The fact that he had brutally attacked her and might even have raped her drove him insane with anger. He wanted to find the man and rip him apart with his bare hands.
At that moment, the doctor treating Jessica entered the room, and asked Michael to leave so he could examine Jessica and update her on her treatment and status. Michael nodded and went to look for Liz and Hailey. He found them in the waiting area. Hailey confirmed that she had filled Liz in on Blake’s behavior with Jessica the night before. Not certain how the two women Jessica loved most in the world would treat him after the way he had behaved, he approached them with a certain amount of caution. “I suppose you both know how much of an ass I’ve been in the past twenty-four hours.” When neither of the women responded immediately, he continued, “I want you both to know that I’m prepared to do anything it takes to convince Jessica that I love her, and that I was completely unjustified in thinking that she was unfaithful to me and that I won’t give up until she forgives me and accepts me.”
Hailey stood up and walked over to Michael. Her solemn countenance broke into a huge grin, and she threw her arms around Michael and hugged him close. “I can’t guarantee anything, Michael, but if you say those words to her, Jess would be crazy to reject you.” Liz was also smiling and nodding at him, and Michael breathed a sigh of relief. With these two on his side, he knew the odds of getting Jessica back were in his favor. In the meantime, he was determined that Jess would be well cared for. He had decided that to ensure Jessica wouldn’t be alone while she was in the hospital he would be staying with Jessica for the rest of the day, then overnight tonight. Liz and Hailey agreed, and Liz offered to bring Hailey to relieve Michael first thing tomorrow morning.
Michael also realized that Tempest would be missing his regular work unless Liz was able to cover, so he asked her if she could do that. Liz agreed. After bidding Michael a good night, Liz and Hailey left for the farm.
While Michael was out speaking with Hailey and Liz, one of the ER doctors came into Jessica’s room to check on her. Jessica looked expectantly at the doctor as he looked at the computer screen next to her bed, and checked her current status. “It appears that at least for the next 24 hours, you’ll be our guest, but you’ll be happy to know that your collar bone break was clean, and should heal nicely with no complications.” After confirming that Jessica’s head still ached in the aftermath of her concussion, he assured her that was normal, and that her pain medication should help with that. He did some further tests to determine the extent of any brain trauma cause by the concussion. “By the way, I want to assure you that the fall didn’t harm the baby, and we made sure that the pain medication you’re taking is safe.”
Jessica’s heart skipped a beat. “The what?” she asked breathlessly.
“Ah, you didn’t know you were pregnant,” he said. “That’s quite normal. The fetus is only about two to three weeks old, so I’m not surprised you weren’t yet aware of it. It’s not a problem, is it?”
‘No, it’s not a problem.” Jessica responded, still not quite sure she believed what the doctor was telling her. “Doctor, I would very much appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone about the pregnancy.”
“Of course not,” the doctor replied. “Doctor-patient confidentiality prohibits me from disclosing your medical condition to anyone that you haven’t authorized to have that information.”
“Thank you,” Jessica said, her mind spinning with this new development. Her head was already hurting, and she was confused and disoriented. She didn’t know how she was going to cope with this additional complication, much less think clearly in her current state. She definitely needed to sleep and start the healing process, but she couldn’t stop thinking about what the doctor had just revealed. How was she going to tell Michael, and what would his reaction be? Would he be happy, or would he be disappointed? More importantly, since Michael’s behavior toward her last evening, how did she feel about their relationship? Jessica had been honest with Michael when she told him how disappointed she was that he so easily believed she was capable of betraying him – that she could not be trusted. Had she been mistaken about his feelings for her? Did he truly love her? Knowing she wouldn’t have any of those questions answered tonight, Jessica closed her eyes and eventually drifted into an exhausted sleep.
Michael entered Jessica’s darkened room and noticed right away that she had fallen asleep. His gaze searched her face for any signs of pain or discomfort, but she appeared to be sleeping peacefully. He marveled at how beautiful she looked, even after such a traumatic experience. The worry lines on her face had disappeared, and she looked less careworn and much younger, much more innocent. Michael snorted in disgust at himself. Idiot, she is innocent, it was you that made her out to be less than what she was. This time he was the accuser, the one who had felt betrayed. He didn’t deny how powerful the emotion was once he experienced it for himself. He could now, at least in part, understand why he didn’t see that Jessica was in distress that night.
A memory flashed vividly to mind. He had just returned from a trip to France to teach a weekend long clinic near Normandy, and was looking forward to time alone with Emma. To his dismay, Emma angrily confronted him as soon as he walked in the door. “I’m glad you had such a good time in France without me,” she said. “It seems that one of the clinic participants posted on your Facebook page about how great a rider you are, and how wonderful it was to ride with you. How could you do this to me?”
“Do what?” he asked. “The woman is simply saying she enjoyed the clinic and wanted to let me know. There’s nothing sexual about that.” To his mind, it was a totally innocuous comment, but Emma had interpreted it to mean that the woman had slept with him. A much as he insisted the comments were innocent and that he hadn’t slept with the woman, Emma refused to believe him. He finally realized how damaging Emma’s behavior had been to his psyche, how deeply the hurt had buried itself inside him. Jessica was everything Emma wasn’t, yet in a heartbeat he had been willing to believe she had betrayed him. How could he ever make it up to Jessica? Would she ever trust him again? Thank God she had the courage and fortitude to defend herself, or who knows what might have happened.
Upon reflection, he realized that a part of his mistrust of women after Emma was that he never really did learn what had come between them. As best he could remember, after the Olympics, everything had been great. Emma was right there with him when he found and purchased the refurbished manor house in Surrey with land sufficient for building his training yard. Even after Romeo was taken from him, she supported him, although now that he thought about it, he had always had a sneaking suspicion that she was withholding a part of herself from him, almost expecting him to hurt her in some way.
He realized for the first time that there was never a point in their relationship when he felt as though she trusted him completely. As a result, he never felt that they had a soul-deep connection. Not like he had felt with Jessica from the very start. Even then, though, it wasn’t until the very last months of their engagement that Emma had started accusing him of cheating on her, and she had been so positive about it. That was the most confusing part of all. He didn’t cheat, so there couldn’t have been any proof. Something was missing. He just didn’t know what.
He remembered that it was soon after he reconnected with Lionel that Emma began to act differently around him. She questioned his relationships with his students, and accused him of spending too much time away from her when he taught at clinics around the UK and Europe. When he traveled to teach lessons to female students, she accused him of having affairs with them, to the point that he actually considered doing it, since it appeared that she expected it of him. In truth, he could have, because with his Olympic success and his good looks and approachable demeanor, women flirted with him and offered themselves to him all the time. Nevertheless, he’d remained faithful to her. He’d never cheated. When she finally left him, citing his unfaithfulness as the reason, he was beside himself with frustration and anger. The fact that she’d found someone else within weeks after breaking off their engagement didn’t help. Maybe she was the one who was cheating, he thought. It certainly seemed that way. All he knew was that he was devastated, his ability to trust seriously damaged.
Jessica stirred, mumbled a bit, and tried to shift position. She grimaced in pain as her movement jostled her broken collarbone, but she didn’t wake. She re-settled, finding a more comfortable position, and quieted. Michael settled as best he could in the vinyl padded chair next to her bed, and kept watch as she slept.
Jessica woke up the next morning feeling as if she had been hit by a truck. Her body ached all over, and her head throbbed. She blinked at the bright light streaming in her hospital room window and looked to her right to find Michael, his long legs stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankles, his arms crossed, and his head slumped down to his chest, sleeping. Her heart warmed to see him there, obviously having spent the night in a most uncomfortable position, just to make sure she wasn’t alone. She took a few moments as he slept to study him and to reflect what had happened over the past 24 hours.
Obviously, Michael had jumped to a mistaken conclusion about Jessica’s character and in doing so, had hurt her badly. Even clearer to her was the fact that he very much regretted his actions, and believed her account of Blake’s assault on her. If she wasn’t mistaken, Michael would continue to blame himself for her fall, and that guilt would drive his behavior toward her unless she could find a way to convince him that if she could find it in her heart to forgive him, he should also forgive himself.
More importantly, how was she going to tell him about the baby? Her hand moved instinctively to her abdomen in a gesture of protection. Would he be happy, or would he urge her to end the pregnancy? Would he offer to marry her out purely of a sense of obligation, or did he love her as much as she knew she loved him? The questions whirled around Jessica’s already aching head, and no answers would come.
As those thoughts whirled through her mind, Michael stirred, then slowly woke up. He stretched, and worked the kinks out of his shoulders and neck, and stretched his arms and legs. He reminded Jessica of a panther she had seen at the zoo, all lithe grace and leashed power. He noticed her perusal, and smiled, leaned toward her and reached for her hand.
“Good morning. How are you feeling?” he asked. “Did you sleep well?”
“As well as can be expected, I guess,” she responded. “How about you? Did you sleep well? It couldn’t have been comfortable sleeping in that chair all night.”
“I’m fine.” Michael hesitated. There was so much yet to be said between them, but he sensed that this wasn’t the right time to discuss serious personal matters. She was still in a great deal of pain, and he wasn’t yet sure exactly how to move forward knowing he was responsible for her being here in the hospital to begin with. At that moment, a nurse entered the room to examine Jessica, and was soon followed by a hospital volunteer with breakfast.
“I’ll go and get something to eat, and be back in a few minutes,” he told her. “Liz should be here soon with Hailey to take my place.” He reached for Jessica’s hand, pressed a kiss on the back of it, winked at her and left the room. He walked down the hall to the elevators and proceeded to the ground floor hospital cafeteria. He ate breakfast quickly, then walked back toward the elevators.
He heard his name being called, and saw Liz and Hailey entering the hospital. He waited for them to join him, and together they proceeded to Jessica’s room. As they walked, he filled them in on Jessica’s condition.
“Look who I found,” Michael announced as they entered the room.
“Hey guys. It’s good to see you.” Jessica tried to put on the best possible face, but she could tell her sister and friend were still very concerned for her.
“Liz and I decided that I would stay with you this morning, then Liz will come this afternoon and keep you company,” Hailey explained.
Jessica was frustrated that they believed she needed to be watched every minute, but she knew better than to argue. “That will be fine. In fact, while you’re here Hails, you can fill me in your progress in physical therapy. Maybe we can even find someone here in the hospital that knows a therapist that specializes in treating amputees so you can continue your therapy here in the UK.”
Hailey rolled her eyes, but didn’t say anything. She knew that Jessica was adamant that she continue to pursue therapy to learn how to use her legs and to strengthen the rest of her body to make optimum use of more modern prosthetics once they had the funds to purchase them. She appreciated Jessica’s concern, but felt that, deep down, Jessica was going above and beyond what any reasonable person would expect in her care because she felt somehow responsible for her injuries, and was doing everything in her power to make up for whatever it was she thought she had done. Hailey had tried many times to assure Jessica that the accident wasn’t her fault, but Jessica stubbornly refused to acknowledge her. She resolved to talk to Michael about it when they had some time alone. Maybe he could talk some sense into Jessica.