“What a fucking day,” Nate said through the speakers in my SUV as I drove through the gates of the country club.
“You can say that again.”
“What a fucking day,” he repeated, and I let out a chuckle.
“How did it go?”
“I think my editor will be happy.” I looked back to see a limousine pull up right behind me. My shameless family spilled out the door of the large club with inquiring faces. My twin cousins, Noel and Noah, attacked Reid the second he stepped out of the car.
I couldn’t help my grin. “Hope you’re happy, asshole,” I said in a whisper, which Nate heard.
“Stella, I know I’ve been working a lot and it’s getting in the way of us, but I promise I won’t let it go on much longer.”
“No, babe, I wasn’t referring to you. I was talking about . . . Paige. Her wedding is a circus.”
“Stella,” he warned. “She may be doing this for you someday.”
“Well, I’m sure as hell not going to let her get off easy. And I’ll make damn sure she has to make 3 a.m. trips to Wal-Mart for a week to see if they got more cheap plastic bubble wands.”
“Play nice, and then come get dirty with me,” he said. “I can still taste you.”
“Deal,” I said as I watched the mob swarm Reid. It was his worst nightmare, but oddly, he seemed comfortable enough with them as she signed my Aunt Vesta’s purse. Shameless.
“Deal, huh? That’s all I get? You okay?”
No.
“Yes,” I said out of breath as I grabbed a few boxes out of my trunk. Reid spotted me struggling from the front door and came my way, holding his hands up to my cousins to let them know he would be back.
“You need help?” he asked as he stood at my trunk.
“Babe,” I spoke to Nate in an attempt to wave Reid away, “I have to go. I have my arms full.”
“He doesn’t know about me,” Reid said with a wicked gleam in his eye.
Nate spoke as heat flashed through my face. “Okay, see you later. Wake me up,” he said with a sexy lift in his voice.
“Can you?” I asked Reid, my head locked between my cheek and shoulder.
Reid raised a brow. “Hang up on your boyfriend? Gladly,” he took the phone and pressed end, then stuck it in my purse before taking the boxes from my hand.
“You better pray he hung up first. If I have to explain that later, you’re a dead man.”
“I can give you my room number,” he whispered in my ear, making me jump, “if that will make it easier for you to find me.”
“That’s just tacky,” I said as I grabbed three lead bags full of embroidered crap. “I’m not your groupie, Crowne.”
“No,” he said softly. “You’re not.”
My mother spotted us from the entrance and rushed our way. Reid smiled as she approached in a glittery black dress suited for a Diana Ross concert. “Looks like I finally get to meet the parents.”
“Mija! I’m so happy you’re here. Finally!” She gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Your sister is driving me crazy!”
“I live in the same city, Mom. Be thankful you get to go back to Dallas.”
Reid smiled down at her, my mother a full foot shorter than him. He was noting the similarities. I had to admit the older I got, the more alike we looked. However, while I was trying to work on my subtlety, my mother was set in her ways. She scrutinized Reid. “Who are you?”
“I’m Reid,” he said with an apprehensive smile. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Emerson.” He easily handled the boxes to offer his hand, which she frowned at. “Where is Nate?” I couldn’t help my smile. My parents adored Nate and rock star status meant shit to my mother. Still, I had to scorn her. “Momma, don’t be rude, this is one of Paige’s old friends.”
“Oh,” she said, trailing her eyes down Reid’s attempt at business casual. “From where does she know you?” My mother gave him the third degree as he set the boxes down on a bell cart one of the bridesmaids wheeled out.
“We used to work together,” he answered, indulging her with the same amusement he did me when we met.
“Reid,” she said, trying to place the name. And then her eyes narrowed.
Oh, shit.
I saw her palm go up and cringed as Reid took two forehead slaps to the head. She dug right in. “You think I’m so old I forget that you took my daughter? That you have my daughters fighting for months?”
Reid stood stunned as he looked to me for help. “Family affair,” I piped as I left him there to fend for himself. “Welcome to the party, rock star.”
I walked inside the bustling club and was greeted by at least a dozen aunts, uncles, and cousins. I searched the large lobby for Neil and found him standing in the corner, watching, paralyzed with fear as his new extended family marched in like ants. I fled to him and dropped the bags at his feet before I threw my arms around him. “Hey, brother.”
He smiled when I pulled away. Neil and I had gotten close over the last few years. I could talk to him about anything. It was a strange dynamic, but it worked with us. I’d definitely gained a brother. We talked a lot, especially in the last few months when he needed advice on how to handle the family.
“You can still back out of this,” I said, nudging his shoulder.
“This is just the rehearsal,” he said as he watched the crowd thicken behind me. “My dad’s side isn’t even here,” I said with a laugh as Neil paled. “It will be fine,” I assured him with a little shake in my voice as Reid appeared with my mother’s arm wrapped around him.
Traitor.
He must have talked some major shit to get in her good graces, and by the way she stared up at him, I could tell that’s exactly what he did. His eyes found mine as I watched his lips twist up in a smirk. And the rattle was back.
Neil lit up beside me when he caught sight of him. “Damn, man, are you a sight for sore eyes!” They did the man hug, back clap thing, and I saw that as my chance to find my sister. Reid’s hand shot out as I attempted to make my escape.
He leaned in to whisper, “Now or later, it’s up to you.”
“I’m going to find Paige.”
“Later, then.”
I was dizzy and the rehearsal hadn’t even started yet.
“Stella!” My favorite cousin Tangie greeted me in the doorway of the small room where the rehearsal was being held. “God, did you see Reid Crowne? I thought I was going to die when he got out of that limo. We thought it was Uncle Georgie being all flashy, but no, a fucking rock star pops out!”
I laughed, and she gripped my hip, pulling me close while we walked. “You look hot! It’s been too long cousin. I need to get my ass here more often to see you.”
“Anytime, Tangie, I meant that. You know I don’t like these other fools.”
“I heard that,” My cousin Ramon—the oldest of all the cousins—chimed in as he joined us. “God, Stella you grew up fast.”
“Don’t let the suit fool you,” I said with a wink. Pretty soon I had a posse in pursuit of my sister and was about to send out a search party when I spotted her in a private bar in the back of the club, pointing to her empty shot glass. “Just one more,” she said with a slur.
Oh shit.
“No more,” I snapped as she held up the tequila shot and smiled at me. I took the glass from her and warmed my insides with its contents.
“Paige, we have to get going,” I said as I gripped her to me, trying to decipher her clarity through inspection, and then glared at the bartender. He looked me over with appreciative eyes. “Really?” I deadpanned. “Get real,” I snapped as Reid walked through the door.
“Oh, my God,” Paige said looking between us. “You made it!” She sprang from me into Reid’s waiting arms, and they hugged each other in greeting. Paige was leaking in a sappy puddle, a mix of tequila and jitters, but I saw it. The genuine love between the two of them, the friendship they missed on both parts. Guilt weighed me down as Reid looked over at me as Paige gushed. “It feels like it’s been longer,” she said, dabbing at her tears as if she were a silly woman. And she was, but it amazed me the gravity of the situation. It all came back to our decisions: mine to kiss him, our decision to be together, and how it had affected all of us in some way.
He stared at me with drawn brows, trying to read my thoughts as I looked on at Paige, who was truly happy to see the friend she had before her sister drove a wedge between them and rock ‘n’ roll ate up the rest of his time, and his attention.
Reid being Reid bent down to whisper to her, making her smile.
“So, are you staying for dinner?”
“Yeah,” he said as he looked over at me. “If that’s okay.”
“Of course it is!”
I looked at the bartender. “Line them up.”
Thirty minutes later, the four of us, Neil, Paige, Reid, and I were laughing hysterically at Paige, who was doing a spot-on impression of our mother, which even Reid could appreciate. I had the bartender substitute Paige’s shots for water, and she didn’t seem to notice. We knew we were supposed to be somewhere, but for a brief moment in time, we captured a glimpse of the old days, and we weren’t ready to let go. I caught Reid’s eyes on mine, and it was probably because I was watching him just as hard.
“You okay, sis?” Paige asked as I swallowed down another shot. I was done drinking due to my shitty attention span and wiped my hands after sucking on a lime and tossing it in the glass. I learned my limit years ago and rarely strayed.
“I think the better question is, are you? I’m not the one who’s about to get married.”
“Could’ve fooled me,” Reid muttered, just for me to hear. I cut my eyes his way.
“I don’t want you stressing,” Paige said. I cut her off fast.
“I’m fine.”
“I know I made it hard on you,” she said softly. “I’m sorry.”
I grinned at her. “You’re a bride.”
“I’m getting married.” She hugged me close as we sat on the bar stools, while Neil and Reid stood talking behind us. “He keeps staring at you,” she said bluntly.
I saw Reid’s eyes drop to the floor and he grinned. He was busted because Paige wasn’t talking quietly at all, and I couldn’t convey it quickly enough.
“Paige,” I said with big eyes. “They can hear you.”
“Do you still love him?”
Reid’s gaze landed on mine as Neil rattled on about their honeymoon trip to Jamaica
Paige rattled on, too, as if we were speaking about the weather. “I know it was only like two minutes y’all were together, but if this upsets you—”
“Paige,” I whisper-yelled as she continued to talk out of her drunk ass.
“Noooo,” she said with a confident grin. “You’re happy with Nate. And who wouldn’t be. The man is beautiful.” Reid’s jaw ticked, and I nodded to Paige.
“There you are!” my mother yelled, and all four of us jumped.
“We have rehearsal right now,” she said, motioning us with her hands in her ridiculous dress. She looked slightly frazzled as she spied the empty glasses on the bar.
“Bear?” my father asked, appearing behind her. “Who do we have in here?” he asked as he took a step forward.
Heat burned my face, and I began to panic while Reid took a step forward to introduce himself.
“Reid Crowne sir, it’s nice to meet you.”
My father cringed and stared at Reid’s hand as if he were going to take it off after he claimed his head.
I jumped from my stool. “Daddy, it’s cool.”
“This Reid,” my mother said with a clueless smile in his direction. “I like him, honey. He going to gift Paige the limo for tomorrow.” She grabbed Neil in her clutches as Reid tried to work his magic yet failed.
“I think you should leave,” my father snapped, his eyes glaciers shooting right at Reid. “Right now.”
Reid stood stunned as I pushed my Dad a few feet back. “Daddy, don’t. I’m begging you. Don’t.”
“What’s he doing here?” he asked, flicking a silver-gray gaze—the color of mine—back at me as if I’d physically hurt him.
“I invited him, Daddy,” Paige said in a slur that had me wincing.
Shit was about to get real, really real.
Scurrying to clean up the mess, I began to usher my father out of the door.
Reid tried to interject. “Sir, I know—”
“You need to leave,” he stated again, his angry eyes fixed, his voice unwavering. I looked back to Reid, my hand on my Dad’s heaving chest. “Don’t worry about it. Okay?”
“Daddy, don’t be rude. This is my wedding!” Paige was hopeless as she tried to straighten her titled green tiara with Mexican flag colored tulle hanging from it.
All we needed was a parade of Chihuahuas and a piñata to keep it hood.
“Paige,” my father whisper-snapped, “are you drunk?”
“No, Daddy,” she said as she lowered her head slightly. My mother looked between all of us, her suspicions on high alert before she went full rant. “Are you serious with me right now, Paige?” My mother never had fully perfected her English.
“Yes, I’m serious with you,” Paige said, poking the bear.
My mother wasn’t having it. She put her hands on her hips, a telltale sign shit was officially real. “I’ve had enough of your shit, young lady. You will act like a bride. You have people waiting. Get your ass out there now, Altos Paige Ornita Emerson.” Paige ducked her head with each sharp syllable of her name. “I don’t have the patience to tell our preacher, who christened you, you have no respect for Jesus.”
Paige burst out laughing as I cowered behind my sister from my dad’s accusatory stare.
“I respect Jesus,” Paige said, kissing my mother on the cheek. She walked over to Reid. “Ignore Daddy. I want you here. Please stay.”
And as if on cue, as if she was preparing for that moment her whole life, Paige turned to her groom and held out her hand. “Come on, baby, let’s do this.” Neil shook his head with a laugh and took her hand, looking back at Reid. “Hang out, man. It’s cool,” he assured as Reid stared at him without answering. My father, who was graying by the day in his fitted dress suit, looked between Reid and me as my mother followed the groom out.
“Come on, Stella,” he said with an anger-cloaked voice. “I don’t want you upset.”
Reid looked over to me with clear confusion. “It’s okay,” I assured him. “Just wait in here, or whatever.”
He nodded and watched as my father took my hand and led me out of the room.
“You are the maid of honor. It’s time to rehearse,” he said sternly.
I glanced back over my shoulder and saw Reid’s resolve. He wasn’t going to leave it alone. He had questions and wasn’t leaving without answers. Answers I would do everything in my power to keep from him.
After the rehearsal and an incessant amount of catch up kisses, I was touching up my lipstick in the bathroom when I heard a click behind me.
A surge of nervous energy circulated as Reid’s eyes found mine in the mirror. He was leaning against the door, studying me. I couldn’t get over the change in him. Eyes no longer hidden by hair, they were more haunting than ever as they watched me line my lips.
“Please,” I said, tracing the bow of my top lip. “I’m seriously close to losing my shit on the DJ. He’s passing out liquor to my fifteen-year-old cousins. I caught them trying to steal a golf cart. This is the crap I’m dealing with. And you saw Paige,” I reminded him, pressing the gloss over my bottom lip.
“You’re punishing me.”
“What?”
“For leaving, for letting you go, for the concert. You’re punishing me for all of it.”
“I’m in love with my boyfriend, Reid,” I said, zipping my purse.
His eyes flared. “That may be the truth, but you’re in love with me, too.”
“Don’t do this,” I snapped as I turned to face him head-on. “Just don’t.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s too late,” I said as my heart sounded off a warning. “I don’t want to fight with you, Reid.”
“I’m fighting for you, Stella,” he said, taking a step forward. “I keep waiting for you to end it with this guy. You tell me he’s a good man, fine. I say I can be the better man. I’m putting my hat in the ring. Right. Fucking. Now.”
“You’re insane,” I said, gesturing for him to open the door. He crossed his arms, refusing to budge.
I took a steadying breath. “I have to go.”
“I’m right. You’re punishing me. You’ve been punishing me. And won’t even give me the time of day.”
“I’ve been living my life. You’ve been busy yourself.”
“And you never answered a single phone call.”
“You’ve called once a year,” I said accusingly.
“On our birthday. It was a good excuse.”
“For what?” I snapped.
“To show you I was still waiting!”
“Oh, this is ridiculous.”
“No, what’s ridiculous is you won’t even listen to what I have to say. You refuse to try to see how hard I’ve fucking worked to get straight. I went to counseling. I kept my promise to you, and I’ve sat back and respected your wishes when it comes to him, but no more. You belong with me.”
I guffawed. “Practicing abstinence, too, Crowne?”
“Fuck no,” he said. “But say the word, Stella, and I’m yours, and you’re mine, and we end this fucking charade.”
“My life is not a charade.”
“Where is he when it’s important, like tonight?”
“Don’t you dare judge him, ever. He’s the best man I know. And who in hell are you to talk? When it’s important? Are you serious? He’s been there for the last three years. Where were you?”
“In here,” he said, pressing his fingers to my temple before placing his burning hand to my chest, “and in here.” His palm seared me. “And working my ass off to get to this moment. To this. Right now.”
“I love him.”
“You love me, too, and I’ve been robbed long enough.”
“Oh? Have you now? You’re finally ready for Stella?” I scoffed. “Ship has sailed, Reid. Get out of my way.”
In a flash, I was pinned to the door, his hands holding my wrists, his eyes unforgiving. “I love you.”
“No.” It was a throaty whisper.
“I love you. And I miss you, Stella. And that’s not going to change.”
“Stop it,” I said, fighting his hold on my wrists.
“I miss hearing your dreams when you wake up. I miss spending nights just talking in our bed. Simple shit I would never take for granted again, as long as I got to do it with you. You’re all I think about. I haven’t slept a full night since you left my bed. Everything I’ve done since the minute I left Austin has been about getting back to you a better man. A man more capable of giving you what you deserve. I’m there. I’ve been there for a while, and it’s time you knew. And today and every day after is about getting you back. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t wait anymore. I don’t want to, Stella. It’s our time.”
I bit my trembling lips.
“Stella, you haven’t forgotten. I see everything by just looking at you.”
“I’m with Nate.”
“Be with me,” he pressed. “You got me off my knees, Stella. Living with you, even in that shitty apartment, was the best time of my life. I don’t want to sleep another night without you.”
“Reid—”
His jaw ticked. “He’s going to ask you to marry him, if he’s smart. Don’t say yes.”
“Are you crazy?”
“Worse.”
“What is worse?”
“In love.” He dipped to kiss me, and I moved my lips away. He cursed and bit his lip, staring down at me, his frustration palpable. Exasperated, he took a step back. “Fine, I’ll play fair, but I’m playing. I want you back. I want you in my life.”
“You’re about to tour the world, Crowne. Just how do you propose to make that happen?”
Reid looked at me stunned, as if he’d just remembered he was about to play on five other continents. “Fuck!”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, there is that small rock ‘n’ roll thing.”
“Come with me,” he said softly. “Stella, I’ll give anything for seven more minutes. But I want all of them. You said I could have them all.”
“This was your plan? To drag me into an interview and then lure me into your life with an I love you?”
“It’s been three years and you haven’t chosen him.”
“I have,” I said with a leaden voice.
“No, you want to, but you can’t. There’s a reason, Stella, and it’s me.”
“We have a life together. I’m happy with Nate.”
“But something’s missing,” he said, forcing me to look his way. “You wonder what it would be like if we were together, if we had gone further. You still want the fairytale, but it’s mine to give you, and I can’t give it to you if you’re with the wrong fucking prince.”
“I’m not,” I said breathlessly.
“Stella, we aren’t finished and you know it. You’ve always known it.”
“Why are you doing this? We don’t know each other anymore.”
“I know you aren’t yourself, not the version you want to be. This housewives shit is only going to take you so far, and then what?”
“I grew up, my dreams changed.”
“To match his,” he retorted confidently. “Don’t marry him, Stella. You don’t belong to him. I scare you and that’s good. Do it scared, remember? You were always so quick to believe in me without reason. I’ll give you as many as you need. I’m right here, Stella.”
His words struck deep as I gasped out his name. “Please, don’t.”
“I love you,” he said, releasing me before he slid his thumb across my bottom lip. “I think about you every time I play. Every single day, I take you with me wherever I go.”
Anger and hurt surged through me as I shook my head. “You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to come here after years—”
“I couldn’t make promises then, Stella. I had nothing—less than nothing—and inside I felt like I was constantly on the spin cycle. I couldn’t stop spiraling. I couldn’t tell you this then. You were scared enough just starting out, and I was so damn desperate.”
It was the truth. He had been in no position to offer me anything but the day we lived in. He had been hanging on by a thread then. It was one of the reasons I could never fully hate him for leaving. Probably one of the reasons why I never stopped loving him.
“I remember.”
He leaned in on a whisper. “That first night you came over and washed my hair? Do you remember that?”
“Yes,” I said as hot tears streaked my cheeks.
He thumbed them away, his hands cupping my face, and waited for my eyes. “I was about to end it.”
He leaned in slowly, so slowly, and brushed his lips against mine. “You saved my life that night just by showing up.”
I burst into tears beneath the weight of his confession before he pulled me into his arms.
“It’s okay, Stella,” he whispered with warm breath in my ear. “I had to get straight. And no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t fix it.”
“I was so worried,” I said against his chest. “Every single day I worried. Especially when you left.”
“I know,” he said regretfully, “and I’m sorry you went through that. Stella,” he said in a breathy whisper, “you thought you weren’t enough, but that was just it. You were enough to make me want to try to figure it out. You were enough to make me want to get better, feel better, and eventually want more. You saved every part of me. The parts I thought were empty, you filled up. The parts I thought were lost, you brought them back to me.”
I lay my head over his heart as he gripped my arms.
“I can make those promises now, Stella. All of them. Any you need to hear.”
“Reid,” I said as I shook in his hold. Green eyes of fire searched mine. “Just once, say everything you want to say to me. Just this once.”
“I can’t do this,” I said truthfully. “I can’t. It was never a choice.”
“It is now,” he said, resolute.
“That’s not fair.”
He released me and clenched his fists. “Don’t tell me about fair when I have to stand back while some other man touches you, fucks you, sleeps with you, holds you. Don’t tell me about fair, Stella. I had to get my shit together. I’ve done the work. I deserve you, too, goddammit,” he said through clenched teeth. “I deserve to be as happy as the next guy. It took me a while to realize I deserve you. Too long, but it’s not too late.” He leaned in on a heated whisper, my body firing off in response. “I want you. I want inside of you Stella, where I belong. Do you remember how it felt? How I felt?”
His breath tickled my neck as he pressed his body to mine.
“How we fit?”
White-hot heat slid between my legs. “Stop,” I said, my pulse skyrocketing as I hissed out a needy breath. “Don’t.”
“Please end this shit. Stop punishing me.”
“I’m not punishing you.” I pushed at his chest, giving myself some distance. We were too close to not being able to take it back.
I crossed my arms and gripped my sides. “I hurt him, I hurt me. You don’t know what you’re asking.”
“Tell me you don’t love me,” he whispered. “Say it, Stella,” he dared as I blinked out a fresh set of tears. When I stayed mute, he shoved his hands back into his slacks. “I thought so.”
But he wasn’t done, and the charged air between us said he might never be.
“Come with me,” he beckoned, and I shook my head. “I can’t.”
He cursed as he ran a hand through his hair.
“You can’t expect me to leave my life for you, Crowne. Last time you—”
His eyes snapped to mine. “I what, Stella?”
“You forgot me,” I whispered. “You showed up at that concert with another girl. Did you forget?”
“I was so hell-bent on trying to get you out of my head, Stella. It meant nothing. Nothing to me.”
“But it meant everything to me, Reid. You—” I swallowed. “It doesn’t matter. It can’t. I’m with Nate.”
“Stop saying his goddamn name!” Reid hissed as he looked at the floor between us, taking rapid breaths before he slowly brought his gaze to mine. “I’ll keep waiting.” He leveled me with the sincerity in his voice and leaned in to kiss my temple. “I never forgot you, Stella. Not you, not us, not any of it.”
He pulled back, leaving me spent completely by his smell, his words, and his eyes trailing down my body. “It’s not too late.” He opened the door behind him and slipped out, taking his warmth away.