May rolled in for Julia on a wave of newfound strength. She was determined to put the emotional roadblocks, that had been holding her back, behind her. She knew her first order of business was seeing a physician and then promptly calling her therapist for more intensive sessions. She needed to get her health in order.

She called Kelsey into her office on a bright Monday morning while the Williams brothers worked upstairs. They’d kindly asked if she’d stay out of the closet until it was finished so they’d be able to do a big reveal. Kelsey was in on the surprise, but Julia found she was looking forward it. She hadn’t minded handing over the control of those finishing touches to her friends, knowing that they would do it right.

Kelsey, wearing a look of questioning and interest, sat in front of Julia’s desk. “What’s up, boss?”

Julia had been thinking about this the last few weeks. Now that the business had sold, Julia wondered at her need for a full-time assistant. She knew that Kelsey had made a good amount of money on the H-Surf stock going public and wasn’t in need of a job. She also knew that her assistant still had her apartment in the city. It was time for Julia to let Kelsey go live her life.

She leaned forward and put her elbows on her desk. “I was thinking…” She needed to tread lightly. She didn’t want Kelsey to think she was being fired and she certainly didn’t want her to feel as though she’d done something wrong.

“What is it?” Kelsey asked warily.

“I was thinking now that the company is gone and my life is a lot less hectic—”

“You’re firing me?” Kelsey’s eyes widened and her body snapped back as though she’d been struck.

“No.” Julia told her, holding her hands up. “I’m not firing you! I’m giving you the option to not be my assistant anymore.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“I just thought now that I’m not working and you’ve sold your stock, you might want to move on. Go travel and do something other than babysit me for once.”

Kelsey stared at her, the expression on her face difficult for Julia to decipher.

“I’m just trying to give you your freedom,” Julia explained.

“Are you saying that if I wanted to take a vacation and travel while working for you I wouldn’t be able to?”

Julia rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair. Kelsey was being snarky, not angry.

“You can do whatever you want, you know that. If you want to be my partner in whatever I do next, I’m fine with that, too. I just don’t want you to feel like you’re tied to me.”

Kelsey actually laughed. “Jeez, Julia, I am tied to you. Forever. You’re my best friend. Whether we work together or not.”

Julia’s face fell. She was Kelsey’s best friend? How had she not known that?  “I’m your best friend?” she squeaked out quietly.

Kelsey’s face took on an earnest expression. “Of course you are, Jules. I tell you everything.”

Julia couldn’t argue that point. She knew more about Kelsey’s life than she cared to admit. If she really thought about it, Kelsey had been her confidante and champion for many years. She wondered why she hadn’t considered those facts before, instead simply focusing on their work relationship.

“And you tell me everything,” Kelsey said with a shrug and a smile. “We’re best friends. You think I’m just going to run off now that we don’t go in to the office every day?” She made a rude pfft sound. “I know you. You’ll have a new project going in no time and we’ll be working all-nighters again. We’ll figure it out.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Julia repeated slowly, the idea gaining more ground the more time she gave it. She didn’t need to have everything planned. She could play it by ear, so to speak. She swallowed down her unease. Julia was not one to play things by ear. When she had an idea, she mapped out business plans and projections. She didn’t usually wing it.

“You look like you swallowed a lemon,” Kelsey joked. “I didn’t say we had to live the rest of our lives without a plan, Jules. Don’t panic. I just meant that I’d like to hang around and see what your next project ends up being. I’ve got a little money to play with now so it’s feasible that I might be able to be a partner on a project at some point, too. If you want me to go, I will. You can call when you’re ready. If it’s okay with you, I’d be happier staying in Troy, spending my time bugging you and the Williams boys.”

“I do have one thing I’d like some help with,” Julia admitted. If she and Kelsey were baring themselves, telling each other what they really wanted, it was time to come clean about something with Kelsey, put herself out there to be judged in the hopes of getting herself some help.

“Name it,” Kelsey said.

“I need to make a few doctor’s appointments.”

“Are you pregnant?” Kelsey’s accusation was forcefully whispered.

Julia had never even considered being pregnant. She’d had a doctor giving her a Depo shot, every few months, for years. Frankly, she thought she’d make a terrible mother and had never even considered having a child. She rolled her eyes at Kelsey. “Of course I’m not pregnant.”

“Oh.” Kelsey seemed relieved.

“I need an appointment with my primary care physician. I need to know how much damage I’ve done to myself by not eating the way I should.”

The sympathy on Kelsey’s face was not as grating as Julia had thought it would be. She’d expected it to make her feel worse, but on her best friend it came across as understanding and caring.

“Julia,” Kelsey murmured.

“I know. I’ve been an idiot. But it’s something in my mind and I can’t get over it myself. I’ve tried but I can’t turn it off. I need to see my doctor and then I need to call Cathy and up my appointments. Every few weeks isn’t going to cut it. I can’t live like this anymore.” The admission took more guts to say out loud than she thought it would. Usually stating the facts came easy to her, but this was personal and so close to her heart that she wasn’t comfortable saying it out loud to herself, let alone someone else. But it was Kelsey and if there was anyone she could say it to, it would be her.

Julia knew that Elliot would understand and that she could confide in him, but she didn’t want him to see her this weak.

“You’ve dropped two sizes in the last year and half,” her friend told her. “I’d be honored to help you get wherever it is you need to go, Julia. I’ll make a few discreet phone calls and let you know our options.”

Julia didn’t miss Kelsey’s use of the word our. Like they were a team.

“Thank you, Kelsey.”

“Nope.” Kelsey stood and came around the desk. “Time to hug it out.”

Julia let Kelsey embrace her and awkwardly patted her back in return. Okay, she thought, she hadn’t quite passed all the hurdles she needed to in order to be a normal person.

* * *

Elliot knew Julia and Kelsey were up to something, but he wasn’t going to ask what. Whatever it was, involved a few day trips to the city and a lot of video chats for Julia. Over the last few weeks, she’d been closing herself, with her computer, in the back bedroom, the one she hated, at least three times a week. He could hear the murmured voices through the door—Julia and another woman—though he didn’t know what they were discussing.

Julia liked her space and her privacy, so Elliot gave it to her.

It grated a bit, annoyed him that she wouldn’t share what she was doing, but he knew better than to press her on it. When she was ready, she’d tell him. He knew Julia better than he knew anything else. Better than irregular stud measurements or plumbing codes or last season’s NFL stats. He might not always know her reasoning or what she was going to do next, but he knew bone deep what she needed from him.

Until she showed him otherwise, she needed to do her thing and grow into the workings of it before she shared it with him.

So, as she took another trip into the city, Elliot worked on his own house, something that had been sorely overlooked the last few months. He popped his earbuds in and got to work, nailing up plank walls where he would ultimately have a workbench. It was a relaxing process, to measure, cut, and nail, and then repeat the steps all over again.

Measure, cut, and nail, and wonder about where his life was leading him. Down a long and winding path with Julia, but not nearly as bumpy as it had once been.

Measure, cut, and nail, and remember the place he’d come from. The seedy motel where he’d been peeled off the dirty floor and lifted into a life of love.

Measure, cut, and nail, and picture his future.

That made him pause, but only for a moment.

No matter where that led, he’d have Julia by his side. Her house, newly remodeled, would give them something to grow into, to find themselves as a couple. If she wanted that.

Measure, cut, and nail, smiling to himself as he envisioned them weekending at his cabin, trying to get away from life and sit back, slow down.

Measure, cut, and nail, hoping that someday, Julia would turn to him when she was ready to share her needs instead of Kelsey. Instead of feeling jealousy or pangs of annoyance, he was deep down glad she had someone to turn to.

Measure, cut and nail. He put his tools down when a text pinged his phone. It was Julia.

I’m in your kitchen. Do you have much longer in the garage?

He didn’t answer the message, but poked his head outside. Sure enough, her little silver Audi was parked in front of the house. Without putting anything away or cleaning himself up, he hurried across the sun-dappled grass and into the house where he did indeed find Julia.

She looked intimidatingly beautiful standing behind the island in his kitchen, watching him with a leery expression.

“Hi,” he said.

She held out a hand and motioned forward. “Can you come sit?”

He slowly walked across the hardwood and took the stool across from her, tilting his head in question but letting her take the lead. She turned and grabbed something off the counter behind her and then slid a plate across in front of him. He looked down at a small, sort of lopsided cupcake.

He looked up at her for an explanation.

“I made it,” she told him, so quiet he almost couldn’t hear her at all. “I thought we could share it.”

He just looked at her, willing her to explain without making him beg. She put her hands on the counter, almost to brace herself.

“My therapist suggested that if I pushed through some of my fears and tried to understand the scientific measurements of cooking, I might be able to get past some of my issues,” she looked down at the crooked little cupcake and then back up at him. “I’ve been seeing her a few times a week, by video chat mostly. I know it isn’t much to look at, but I made it for us.”

When he looked at the lopsided confection again, he saw something completely different. She’d gotten herself some help, and even though she hadn’t let him be a part of helping her get there, she was letting him be part of her recovery. Not only had she made something for herself, but she’d made it for him too. In some ways, the undersized cupcake had become a symbol of their future together.

“Are you ready for this?” he asked, his lips turning up into a smile.

She took a deep breath, and nodded, watching him unwrap the paper.

“It’s carrot cake.” She flicked her eyes up at him and then away again. “That’s my favorite.”

He made a mental note to remember that. He grabbed a knife from the block and cut the thing in half, taking his in hand and sliding the plate back to her. He tried not to stare as she brought it to her mouth and took what he would call a nibble, but he stopped dead still, hand halfway to his mouth and just watched her. She chewed with her mouth closed and didn’t rush for another bite, but she seemed thoughtful.

“How are you?” he asked. Though he never fully understood how she could live the way she had, he knew that her fears were very real, very strong, and very valid.

She continued chewing and covered her mouth with a hand as she nodded. “I’m good,” she answered.

Only then did he pop his entire half in his mouth. It wasn’t the best he’d ever had, but it was the sweetest in what it represented for Julia.

“How is it?” she asked, watching him nervously.

Elliot had waited long enough. He stood and quickly rounded the island and took her in his arms. Her mouth met his, her fingers tunneling through his hair and welcoming him in every way. Her leg snagged his waist and her arms wrapped around his neck. He’d never experienced receiving such erotic affection with anything that matched Julia’s total abandon. She loved so freely with her body, gave everything that she had.

He lifted her onto the counter, pulling her sweater off and leaning back to admire the masterpiece that was Julia Hawkins in what had to be very expensive lingerie.

She watched him watching her, her eyes a hot and fiery green. Elliot trailed open-mouth kisses along her breastbone and up to her neck, licking until her body arched beneath him, begging. He wanted to rip her bra off, open her to him, but he wanted to see Julia in nothing but that bra and what he knew were matching panties more. She had a fascinating knack for wearing matching bras and panties.

He kissed and licked his way down her body, paying close attention to the indent of her belly button, which made her squirm, and the spot just inside her hip bone, that made a small squeak escape her throat, but he growled when he saw what was underneath her denim shorts.

She was wearing tights.

“You okay?” she asked as she slid off the counter in front of him. One look at her face and he knew she was kidding; she knew exactly what had him so agitated.

Elliot hooked his fingers under the waistband of the tights and ripped them down. They stretched and then stretched some more, and after a few seconds of struggling, he finally just left them stripped down to her ankles. He’d gotten what he was after, Julia standing before him in her ivory bra and panty set, her body flushed and ready for him.

He pressed his face to her heated skin, inhaling the scent of her and letting it spread through his body. She was everywhere; from the tips of his toes to the soles of his feet, she lived inside him, and every breath he took pulled her in deeper, exactly where he wanted her.

Calmly, gently, he extricated her feet from the tights and he kneeled before her. He didn’t care that he was hers, supplicant to her whims or needs. Hell, it was all he wanted. He’d spend the rest of his life on his knees in front of her if she asked. As long as she looked at him the way she was, heart in her eyes, and that dimple puckering her cheek, he’d be there. As long as she had that damp patch growing on her panties, he’d live on his knees if she asked.

Elliot ran his palms up her legs, smooth and soft, stopping only when he reached the incredible barrier between them. His thumbs slid underneath and with no effort at all, he pulled them down along with his hands. Her hand braced on his shoulder and her heat was like a brand. It may as well have said Julia’s because when she touched him, used him to hold her up, that was how he felt. Like he was utterly and completely hers.

He kissed her from the soft skin under her belly button, all the way down to the silky flesh of her thighs, then directly to the softer, silkier place between. He buried his face in her, breathing her in as he buried his tongue, searching for the spot he knew would make her dissolve. And even when she did, he stayed, teasing and torturing her, driving her back up again until he was the one on the edge, teetering on the brink of total meltdown.

Her fingers gripped his hair; heedless and with total abandon, words that made no sense fell from her lips. She was murmuring, a seductive chant of encouragement, while at the same time, she begged for mercy. One of her thighs quivered against his neck, the muscles having lost all control. He knew exactly how they felt, he too had lost all control, but he stayed until she pushed him away, her breath heaving.

He lifted her to the counter, then lost his pants, using his hands to shove her back until he could climb on top of her. His foot knocked into a plate, sending it crashing to the floor and he barely heard it, a roll of paper towels tumbled off, leaving a long trail behind it, and he didn’t bother with it. Sliding into Julia was a religious experience. Looking into eyes that were dreamy and lost was a surrender he was happy to relinquish.

“Elliot,” she whispered, arching her back and exposing her throat.

He licked her neck, tasting her skin and feeling the pulsing life beneath his tongue. He thrust into her, faster and harder because he wanted to fill her but also because he couldn’t help himself. The more he filled her, the harder he pleased her, the closer she’d stay, and, Holy God, did he want her to stay.

He filled her until there was nothing left of him on the outside, until every breath she took was Elliot Williams and a part of him lived inside of her. He rocked into her, urgently, straining and rigid until he felt her quiver around him. Until her fingernails tore into his skin and her heels dug into his backside. Until she cried out his name and he finally poured everything he had, everything he was, inside of her.

Making love, Elliot thought.

That was making love.

* * *

Julia couldn’t have imagined that going much better. In her heart, she’d known Elliot would understand when she told him what she’d been doing, but she’d needed to take that step in therapy on her own. She’d needed to know that she could get there and take her future in her hands. It had been empowering and liberating.

She lay on her stomach, hands under her chin, looking out the window of Elliot’s bedroom at the water of the lake. Elliot shifted behind her, surrounding her with his warmth, and placed a gentle kiss on her shoulder.

“I’ve missed you,” he told her. “You’ve been here but not really here.”

“I know,” she admitted. “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “Don’t be sorry. I get it. Just don’t cut me out, Shorty. Don’t let me stand on the sidelines when I could be part of your team.”

“Sometimes I have to stand on my own.”

“No, you don’t,” he argued, cupping the side of her face. “I already told you I’m here to help you stand when you need me. Use me, Julia. Use me if you need to but don’t cut me out.”

“I won’t,” she promised. “Not ever.”