18
MCKENNA
How I got through the whole wedding ceremony without jumping Ellis in front of everybody, I’ll never know. It was a good thing I couldn’t see him, or I probably would have. That quickie behind the flower hedge at the rehearsal dinner was the hottest thing I’d ever experienced—just enough of a tease to whet my whistle but not enough to really satisfy.
I couldn’t take my eyes off him walking down the aisle. Was he thinking about getting his hands on me? His eyes swept up and down my dress, but he gave nothing away. He kept his expression straight and composed. He looked so big and impressive in his tux. He dwarfed everyone in the line-up of groomsmen.
I lost sight of him during the ceremony. The officiant talked all about a lifetime commitment and giving of yourself to your partner to get the most out of marriage. Would Ellis and I ever have that? Could he make that commitment? He did Claim me back in Vegas, and I knew that meant something.
I would love to spend my life with him. I would love to give myself to make his burden lighter. I would love to be a soft place for him to fall in the storms of life. The officiant made that sound so noble and grand. She made it sound like the greatest thing anybody could ever do.
After the ceremony and all the toasts and the cake and dancing and everything, the crowd of relatives and friends started to cut loose. The band switched to lively dance music, and people started tying one on. They let their inhibitions go, and I had a hankering to let mine go the way we did yesterday.
I prowled around the bar and the punch bowl and the cluster of groomsmen. No Ellis anywhere. Where could he disappear to? I searched the whole venue more than once. I scanned every face, but couldn’t find him.
I caught sight of him talking to Brayden, but by the time I got over there to intercept him, Ellis vanished into the crowd. I swear I saw him glance my way, and when he noticed me approaching, he broke off his conversation and made some excuse to drift off.
Did I really see that, or did I just imagine it? What reason could he have to avoid me like that? Did I do something to offend him? If I did, I would hope he would tell me instead of just walking away.
After that, I found it even harder to pin him down. I didn’t see him anywhere, and when I did, he always managed to give me the slip. I looked so long I started to see him in other people. I would get so excited that I finally found him. Then the person would turn around, and my heart would fall into my shoes.
I almost gave up in despair when I spotted a pair of square shoulders near the buffet. That had to be him. No one dominated the crowd like he did, and I couldn’t mistake that thatch of curly hair if I were blind.
I strode up to him and laid my hand on his shoulder. Just touching him excited me. Where would we go? What would we do? What position would he use this time? How many different ways would he do me before he slipped away into the crowd? Would he take me back to his place? Would he find somewhere close, someplace to sneak off for a quick one?
He turned around, and when I saw the expression on his face, my blood ran cold. He didn’t fix me with that smoldering glare of ravenous desire. He looked right through me. I might as well not exist. “Hello, Mckenna. Have you tried this antipasto? You should. It’s excellent.”
Then, in front of my eyes, he strolled out to the dance floor. He walked up to Helena and started talking to her. He laughed and joked and chatted with her like I wasn’t even there. I blinked, but I couldn’t make my mind comprehend what just happened. He did NOT just ask me if I tried the antipasto. He did NOT walk away from me to go hit on Helena.
Is this what I dreamed about all these weeks? Is this what he had in mind when he promised me the moon in Vegas? He made up a big story about us being together, about raising our cub and loving each other, and now he turned his back on me again.
I couldn’t face him snubbing me like that again. I spun away on my heel and stomped off toward the coat room. I had to get out of there. I couldn’t bear the humiliation of being dumped at my own brother’s wedding. I almost got to the coat room when Sam rushed up to me. “Come on, Mckenna! Brayden and Julia are leaving. We’re all going outside to send them off.”
I got swept up in a rush to send off the bride and groom. The limo purred up to the entrance. The photographers snapped more pictures of the big moment. Brayden and Julia hugged everybody and waved. They even hugged me. I plastered a big smile on my face so they wouldn’t see me dying inside. In a few seconds, this would be over, and I could disappear into the blackest depression of my life.
Julia hugged me so many times she dampened my dress with her tears. I shoved her toward the limo. “Go on. Get out of here.”
She laughed and cried and waved. Finally, after way too long, she got in, and the limo drove away. All the guests hung around the entrance to watch the limo out of sight. The instant it vanished around the first corner, I stormed back inside on a beeline for the coat room. I wouldn’t stick around to watch everybody fall all over each other in an orgy of drunken ecstasy.
I strode down the hall and grabbed my coat. I didn’t have my own car here, but I could walk a few blocks away and either catch a bus or hail a cab. No need to stand on ceremony. When I noticed a bunch of people still hanging around the entrance, I headed for the back door. I got my hand on the handle when a rough voice called out, “Mckenna, wait!”
I didn’t have to turn around to recognize who it was. Ellis rushed up to me all out of breath. “There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.”
I whirled around to face him. I hated him right then. I could slap him for hurting me like that. “Well, you found me.”
He cast a glance down at my coat. “Where are you going?”
“I’m going home, Ellis. That’s where I’m going. Brayden and Julia are gone. There’s no reason to stay.”
“Wait a minute, and I’ll drive you. We’ll take my car.”
“I’m never going anywhere with you in your car again,” I shot back.
“What do you mean?”
“You run too hot and cold for me. You don’t want anything serious with me. I was a fool ever to think we could be a real couple. You want to come and go as you please. You want to tell me what I want to hear and then turn your back on me. I understand that now, so don’t pretend it’s anything other than what it is.”
He gasped. “What are you talking about? When did I ever turn my back on you?”
“Just now,” I shot back. “You avoided me when you were talking to Brayden, and you gave me the cold shoulder when I came up to you at the buffet. You made some stupid comment about the antipasto and went off to give Helena the eye. Don’t deny it. I’m not putting up with your crap anymore. You broke my heart once, Ellis Johnson, and I won’t let you do it again.”
“I can explain everything if you just give me a chance. Brayden….”
“I don’t want you to explain anything,” I interrupted, “and don’t start talking about Brayden. You gave me your big sob story about your sister’s problems to explain why you did it before. I don’t think you can come out with anything as grandiose as that this time, can you?”
His face hardened. “At least let me explain to you why I did it. If you still want to cut me off after that, I won’t try to stop you.”
“You won’t try to stop me this time, either,” I snarled. “What are you going to do? Are you going to tie me up so I can’t leave?”
“Of course not, Mckenna,” he snapped. “I don’t know why you’re….”
“I’ve had it with waiting for you to decide you’re ready to have anything to do with me. You kicked me in the teeth one too many times. I’m done with you.”