her eyes, Milly placed a hand beside her but could not feel the soft head of Daisy, nor could she hear the gentle snores the little dog made. Two months they had been together, and Milly had grown fond of the animal.

Looking around the room, she knew it was morning even though the curtains were pulled to shut out the light. She felt rested after only a few hours’ sleep. For the first time in a long while, she had slept deeply and dreamlessly, despite whose house she slumbered in. Pulling back the covers, she walked across the carpet and drew the curtains open.

The house was on a rise, and below them swept a valley and pasture for many miles. Beneath her window was a series of paths with hedges, and she saw a ribbon of water that wound its way for many miles.

“Once, I would have been mistress here.” Her words formed a small circle on the glass as she pressed her face to it. It would have been a magical place to live, her life pampered and her every wish granted. Would she have had a child by now? The thought made her sad. Milly had always wanted children. Being the only child of the Marquess of Lawrence had been lonely, and she’d vowed to one day have a family of her own. That family should have been with Joseph.

Her eyes followed the flurries of snow falling, as thoughts filtered through her head. Leaning on the windowsill, she studied everything her eye could see. It was a beautiful, unending vista. She saw plumes of smoke in the distance, and on closer inspection detected several small cottages. That was surely the village of Stonleigh, her destination. From there she would get transportation to Spindle. With one last look, she turned away. It was time to leave now.

She was not entirely sure she wanted to ever again be the person she had once been. Some aspects she would enjoy; the steady supply of food, sleep, and warmth, but she would no longer enjoy being idle, or spending her days doing what proper ladies aught—well, according to her father anyway. Of course, her one true regret would always be leaving Joseph. She’d loved him, as he had loved her. But to play the part of empty-headed Lady Millicent for the remainder of her life no longer held any appeal.

Their love, she had come to realize, had not been real, but a fairy tale. A love that could not have endured, because she had held back part of herself to be the woman he had wanted.

Of course, none of that mattered anymore. Her sole focus now was to avoid Joseph, and get to the Wimplestows, because surely in the light of day he would recognize her?

The butler, Bailey, had shown her to this room last night. He had not questioned her right to be here, or the reasons for it, just left and then returned with food and washing water minutes later. Lord Ellsworth had said only he was awake, yet she doubted he had heated her water, or prepared the tray that had held a delicious wedge of cake and pot of tea, plus a small bowl of stew that Milly had given to Daisy. Servants, Milly had come to realize, had it hard, working from sunup to sundown with very little recompense.

Walking around the room, she let her hands trail down satin curtains, and over delicate, polished furniture. It was a room fit for any lady, and once she would have taken such a room for granted. Buttery cream walls softened the room. Bolder colors were picked out in the pillows and floor coverings. The rug that lay over the foot of the bed was thick and plush. Like the house it sat in, this room was a study of elegance and grace. Would her room have looked like this?

“Stop it,” she muttered, going to the washbasin. “This is not your life, nor ever will it be again.”

She washed, then tied the two padded pieces of material about her waist. They made her hips look bigger and acted as part of her disguise. Milly then stuffed her chemise to make her bosom look larger. Pulling on a dress, she looked in the mirror, and ran her hands down the cream skirts, trying to smooth the worst of the wrinkles. This was the best of her three dresses and it was showing signs of wear and tear around the seams and cuffs. Once it had been grand, a dress to stroll through Hyde Park in, or ride in a carriage, but no longer. She had lost so much weight, that even with the padding it hung on her. The blue-ribboned neckline was wrinkled and faded, and the bow looking worse for wear. Poking out a foot, she looked at the scuffed and worn toes of her boots. At least they kept her feet warm and dry.

Milly brushed her hair, then plaited it and twisted the entire length up on top of her head. She’d dyed it an ugly brown when she left London, and had continued to do so. Opening her mouth, she pushed two small rolls of cotton under her cheekbones. These padded her cheeks, and she’d been wearing them so long she had grown used to talking with them. She could sip tea and eat small mouthfuls of food, but she rarely ate anything too substantial when in company. She then pulled on her cloak and lace cap, and lastly her bonnet. Looking in the mirror, she knew no one would recognize her as the Lady Millicent who had once walked in society. Not even the man who had wanted her as his wife. Reassured, she slipped on her glasses, before picking up her bag. With a final look around the beautiful room, she then walked out and closed the door behind her.

“May I be of assistance, Miss Higglesworth?”

Milly looked at the tall, uniformed man who was cleaning the mirror down the end of the long hallway she was currently walking.

“Could you tell me the time, please?”

“Nine o’clock.”

Good Lord, she had never slept that late... well, not for many years, at least.

“I would like to find my dog, and then if you would, please furnish me with directions to the nearest village where I may procure transportation to the village of Spindle.”

“His lordship has requested that you join him in his study, Miss Higglesworth. If you will follow me, I shall take you directly to him.”

“There really is no need—”

“Colin,” the footman inserted.

“Colin,” Milly added. “I wish to find my dog and be on my way.”

“I believe Mugwort is with Lord Ellsworth in his study, Miss Higglesworth.”

“Daisy,” Milly said between clenched teeth. “Her name is Daisy, not Mugwort.”

Colin didn’t answer, just made his way slowly down the hallway with Milly at his heels. Milly had been in grand houses before, those of her parents’ friends, but this one was surely the most beautiful. She could almost imagine walking these halls with the earl at her side.

The carpets muted her footsteps, and she studied each painting they passed. The walls were duck-egg blue, with three gold stripes running down the center, and the ceiling darker blue with gilt edging. She saw rosewood furniture with intricately curved legs upon which sat delicate sculptures and gold-leafed candlesticks. Everywhere she looked, she saw beauty as befitted the Earl of Ellsworth’s home.

“I am sure a great deal of work goes into making this house beautiful. The staff are to be commended, Colin,” Milly said, wondering if Joseph had even noticed. She knew once, she would not have.

“Thank you, Miss Higglesworth.”

They turned right at the end of the hall and then reached a set of grand stairs. She descended behind Colin, her eyes going everywhere, taking in what she could, as she would never return here. They walked another hallway, before coming to a halt before a set of grand double doors. Colin knocked, and Milly took a deep breath.

“Enter,” Lord Ellsworth’s deep voice called. Colin opened it, and she was ushered inside. “Please have a tray brought, Colin.”

The room was large, and two of the walls paneled in dark wood. The others were in a deep burgundy. A male domain, Milly thought, looking about her instead of at the man seated behind the desk some distance away. This was the Earl of Ellsworth’s domain, as it had been those who came before him.

“Good morning, Miss Higglesworth.”

She dropped into a curtsy, and tried to calm the thud of her heart as Joseph rose and walked toward her. Unlike her, he was immaculate, with not a wrinkle in sight. A deep charcoal jacket fitted his wide shoulders perfectly, and his necktie and shirt were so white she blinked. His short hair was thick and the color of polished chestnuts. She searched his eyes, but saw no recognition. This was what she wanted. Indeed, why would he even think about her now after so long, after what she had done to him.

“I trust you slept well?”

He would suspect something if she addressed the rug, so she nodded and then looked at his right shoulder. She saw Daisy lying on her back, eyes closed in utter contentment as she snored happily before the fire. Beside her lay Virgil and Horace.

His eyes followed hers.

“I had one of my maids let her out of your room, and then after her brief run on the cold grass, she shared my breakfast then followed me in here.”

“It’s the food, of course. She will sell her soul for anything she can eat.”

Shut up, Milly. She always chattered when she was nervous... actually, what she was, was terrified. Making herself look back into the earl’s green eyes, she saw only polite enquiry. Her disguise was working; now she just needed to remember to keep lisping.

“Not my charm and winning personality, then. I had wondered.”

“My lord, I must once again thank you for last night,” Milly said quickly, before she lost the courage to speak. “You had no need to do what you did for me, a... a servant, and I thank you for it. I would possibly still be walking had you not arrived when you had.”

“As much as it pains you to say so,” he added.

“I beg your pardon?” Milly kept her voice pleasant; after all, he had helped her when she most needed it, then fed her and let her sleep in the softest bed she had slept in for many years.

“Somehow, I don’t think you like being indebted to anyone, Miss Higglesworth. I could hear it in your words.”

“I-I assure you my gratitude is sincere,” Milly said quickly.

“Do you need to wear your glasses for everyday activity, as well as reading?” He was inspecting her face, his eyes resting briefly on her glasses then moving to her padded cheeks.

Still she saw no spark of recognition in his eyes as she nodded, which allowed her to exhale the breath she was holding. Milly sometimes feared she did not know where the truth started and ended anymore, she had told so many tales.

“Come and sit before the fire while we await the tea tray. And perhaps as your departure is not imminent, you could remove you coat and bonnet.”

“I don’t think it is right for me to take tea here with you, Lord Ellsworth.” Milly dropped into a curtsy. “I shall leave at once.”

“When is Lord Wimplestow expecting you?”

“Today,” she lied. What was one more.

“Of course, then you must leave soon, but surely you have time to eat something beforehand, and as I have a tray coming, why not help me eat it.”

“My lord, I am a servant. ’Tis not right I do so.” Milly fell back on the upper-class English need for division between them and their staff. “I-I will make my way to your kitchens and have something there before leaving.”

“No, you will eat here with me.”

“Why?”

“I’m bored,” he said, reaching for her coat. “You can entertain me.”

“Pardon?” Milly couldn’t believe the man she had once known was speaking this way. He would never have wanted a servant to share his tea tray before, of that she was certain.

“Tell me of your life, Miss Higglesworth. What led you along the path to becoming a companion?”

She was thrown, there was no other word for it. Nothing came to mind as she stood there gaping at him.

“My question is surely not too taxing. After all, a governess who reads Virgil—”

“But I am a servant, my lord.”

“I think we’ve established that fact, thank you, Miss Higglesworth. Now, you have no need of your outer clothing in here, as the room is quite warm.”

Milly took a step back as his hands reached for her coat.

“Unless you are wearing only chemise under there, I fail to see what the problem is?”

“I’m sure it is highly improper of you to mention that word,” Milly said, retreating another step as he advanced. “And I am not sure why you are speaking to me in that... that intimate manner.”

Dear Lord, surely he was not one of those men who preyed on servants? She’d encountered such men, those men born to rank and privilege with the belief they could have any woman they chose, even if she was unwilling. Joseph was not one of those; she could not believe he had changed so much.

“I think I told you last night that your virtue was safe with me. I have no intention, Miss Higglesworth, of taking off your clothes and ravishing you.”

His drawled words made her fists clench. When had he changed so much that he could speak in such a cavalier, vulgar way to her... a servant?

“I must go.”

“I don’t think so.” He stepped closer, so she retreated. Never had she believed a day would come where he intimidated her, and yet it seemed today was that day.

“Firstly, Miss Higglesworth you insult me. If I’d thought like that, then last night I would have taken advantage of you. Secondly, I do not use my position to intimidate servants.” His dark brows lowered as he looked at her, and she saw anger in his eyes.

Relief washed through Milly. She had not misjudged him. Perhaps the years that had passed, and responsibilities he now had, had merely changed his demeanor?

“Forgive me if I was rude, that was not my intention, but as you can understand, this is highly improper.”

“Possibly. But then it was improper of you to ride before me last night with no chaperone also.”

“I need no chaperone, my lord, as I am a servant.”

“Yes, yes, I know you are a servant, there is no need to reiterate that fact.”

 

Joseph could see she was nervous. She was moving from foot to foot, her eyes settling anywhere but on him. Was her fear of exposure, or of him and his intentions? Did she really believe the man she had once loved capable of such behavior? The thought was not a pleasing one, but then nothing about this entire encounter with the woman he now knew as Milly was. In fact, his impulse as she stood there trying not to look at him was to shake her. The anger that he had experienced on realizing her identity had raged last night and not receded by this morning.

He’d kept his expression calm when she entered his study, letting her believe he had no idea of her identity. In truth, had he not seen her last night without her disguise, he would not have recognized her. There was definitely padding in her cheeks today, and by the size of her breasts and hips, he’d say they were padded also. Her hair was bundled inside her bonnet, and her eyes hidden behind glasses. What had forced her to don such a disguise?

“Take off your coat and bonnet, Milly.”

She didn’t want to defy him, and yet she also didn’t want to do as he asked. She looked over her shoulder to the door in the hopes of escape, but Joseph simply cleared his throat, and held out a hand.

“Come now.”

“I will take tea with the servants as is proper.”

“Yet I wish you to take tea with me, so you will do as I wish.”

“Why?”

“Because I am an earl, and as such have said it will be so.” Joseph deliberately played on his position now to get what he wanted. Her lips thinned, and he was fairly sure she was swallowing down several heated words.

Her fingers were slender and long. They took seconds to force each button through its hole. Her bonnet followed. Beneath was a thick, ugly lace cap that covered her entire head, with two flaps that fell over her ears. It was something his grandmother would have worn. Giving the offensive item a last look, Joseph placed her things on a chair, and then motioned Milly to the fireplace, where she sat on the edge of the seat across from him.

His study was his escape here at Greyton. His father and grandfather had loved this room, just as he did. The desk was wide and old. There were nicks and even a deep scar from one of their ancestors, who in anger had driven his knife into the wood. He could open a drawer and see his father’s handwriting on a piece of paper, or look out the two huge windows and enjoy the rolling landscape. This place usually brought him peace. Looking at Milly, he thought today may be the exception.

Her clothes were worn and she had an air of desperation about her that he saw more clearly in the light of day. Joseph ignored the ache in his chest that suddenly burned there. It was anger, of course, and seeing her dressed that way, it was threatening to rage to life.

Lady Millicent Lawrence had been one of society’s brightest lights. A Marquess’s daughter. She had dressed to dazzle, and her smile had stopped men in their tracks. But it had been the smile she gave Joseph that had been the most precious of all. Only when it had been turned on him was it soft and alluring. He’d believed she loved him, but that had been a lie.

What course has her life taken? Where is the man she left me for?

“That is a hideous cap. Surely you are not required to wear such a thing in your status as a companion?”

“It is right that I do.”

“Who said it was right?”

She sat with her ankles crossed, hands settled in her lap, as he had seen her do many times before.

“It is highly improper of you to question me on this, my lord.”

It must take a great deal of practice to remember to lisp constantly, Joseph thought, but it was highly effective. He doubted that Millicent’s mother, were she still alive and seated across from her right at this moment, would recognize her.

“Is there anything you wish to tell me this morning, Miss Higglesworth?”

“I-I… pardon?”

Her hands moved to clench on the arm of the chair as she started to rise.

“Your dog snores, Miss Higglesworth, I have struggled to get any work done. A little forewarning would have been nice.”

Relief had her sitting once again. He ignored the guilt he felt for taunting her, and leaned closer as she turned to look at the dogs. She definitely had some padding in those cheekbones.

“Do you know anything about the Wimplestow family, Milly? Because I should warn you, they are not like other families of noble birth.”

He watched as she poured tea a maid had just brought in. The way his sister had done many times before.

“Are they criminals, my lord?”

“No.”

“Dangerous thugs?”

“No again.”

“Will I be in danger in their household?”

“That depends on the danger,” Joseph said. “They are good people, just—”

Milly lifted her hand to stop him speaking. If only she knew, they were not the actions of a servant.

“Then I wish you to tell me nothing, Lord Ellsworth. I will see for myself, and make up my own mind when I arrive there.”

“I think you should take a position in my household. You will be safe here, and comfortable. In fact, my housekeeper has been laid low. You can take her place until she is fit once again.” The words left his mouth before he could draw them back.

I want her where I can keep an eye on her while I decide the best course to take, he reasoned with himself. It would be better if he simply confessed, and told her he knew her identity. He could then tell her what he must. But then she would run again, Joseph was certain of that, and he wasn’t entirely sure why that bothered him so much.

He was not an indecisive man, but right at that moment he could not make a decision about how to handle the woman seated before him.

“Thank you for the offer, my lord, but I have no knowledge of how to be a housekeeper. I shall be happy as companion in the Wimplestow household.”

“You seem intelligent enough, you will pick it up.” He watched her shoulders draw back as he insulted her again, but she did not retaliate.

“Thank you again. I’m sure your praise is most welcome. However, I have a position and am more than happy with that.”

Her refusal was, of course, for the best. After all, his siblings were due to arrive shortly, and surely one of them would recognize her before he was ready for that to happen. Why then, was he still tense and worried? Why then did he feel a need to lock all the doors and keep her here at Greyton?