I really wish my only refuge wasn’t Legion’s bedroom, but with all my worldly possessions still trapped in there, I have no choice but to stifle my ego. It still looks the same: neat and cold and sterile. Other than my jumble of boxes and bags stashed in a corner, there aren’t any real signs of life. Yet, somehow, when we were here together, on those very same storm cloud sheets, I felt like springtime. I felt the sun beating down on my humid skin. My body bloomed for him at his command. In those calm, quiet moments, he became earth and rain, bringing me to life after years of harsh, cold winter.
It seems like ages ago. I can’t imagine him looking at me like he once did, and seeing that silver-haired girl with fire in her eyes and sadness in her soul. That Eden died the moment I took Lucifer, and another took her place. One that had been betrayed beyond any imaginable betrayal. One that wouldn’t survive that level of heartbreak again.
I have every intention of changing out of my gown, packing my shit, and making a plan to leave, but after sitting down and really thinking about, I realize I have no place to go. No car, no money. Hell, I’m certain my phone is nothing but a pile of melted plastic on Michigan Avenue. I allowed myself to become dependent on L and the Se7en, and like an idiot, I didn’t make a back up plan. I knew better. Even with Sister, I insisted on paying my way, even though I made less than half what she did. And because she is good and kind and everything that I am not, she let me have my pride.
Exhausted from my nonexistent plan-making and packing, I don’t even realize I’ve dozed off until there’s a soft knock at the door. I jolt awake, nearly coming out of skin before I realize where I am.
Safe, a voice inside my head says. Bullshit, I silently retort.
I collect my bearings and call out, “Come in.”
Whether it’s been days or merely six hours, Andras’ angelic beauty never ceases to take my breath away. His shoulder-length blonde hair is wrapped in a knot, and he’s wearing a simple white tee and jeans. Yet, he could step onto any runway in Milan and steal the show, as is. Even with his grim expression, he’s easily the most alluring creature I’ve ever laid eyes on.
“I heard you were back,” he says by way of greeting, closing the door behind him. “I was hoping we could talk.”
I nod towards the armchair in the corner—the very same seat Legion took to leer at me while in a drug-induced slumber. The blonde demon takes it, leaning forward with his elbows pressed atop his knees.
“You can’t know how sorry I am for what Lilith did.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” I respond flatly. “Unless you knew about it.”
“I didn’t—I swear. But I knew about her feelings for L. I just didn’t realize she would take it that far.”
His face is painted in regret. I have no reason not to believe him, but I’ve been wrong before.
“And what about Adriel? Did you know that she was his lover?” I probe.
“I didn’t. No one but Phenex knew. The last couple hours have been tense, to say the least.”
“And you trust him implicitly.” It isn’t a question. I already know the answer.
“Yes,” Andras replies without hesitation. “Legion is my brother, just as Lilith, even with all the awful shit she’s done, is my sister. And that’s why I’m asking you to please…please try to forgive her.”
I reel back as if he’s just slapped me across the face with his insane request. “You’re joking, right?”
He shakes his head. “If you tell L to cast her aside and leave her for Lucifer’s thugs, he’ll consider it. He may even do it in hopes that you’ll trust him again. He’s in a dark place right now, Eden. Desperate…vengeful. He would do anything to keep you protected.”
“And playing nice with the person who set us up to play right into Lucifer’s hands is supposed to give me—give any of us—some modicum of safety? What’s next? Is she going to invite him over for brunch and a friendly game of Scrabble?”
I throw my hands up in disbelief, frustrated and, quite frankly, pissed off that Andras would even come to me with this bullshit. Forgive Lilith? She sold out the Se7en, and nearly got Legion killed, not to mention put my sister in danger. Fuck forgiveness. She should be the one disintegrating in Hell. Not Niko. Where was his plea for mercy?
“Lil is regretful, Eden. She thought she was doing the right thing. She knows Lucifer would never harm you, yet he would exhaust every option to obtain, including conspiring with rogue angels for their venom. If we’re all dead, who would stop him from doing whatever he wants? Who would protect the innocent humans that would fall under his reign of evil?”
And I realize, this was exactly their plan all along. Kill one to save a million. Lilith was just following the decree they had lived by for centuries. Surrendering me would keep countless others out of danger. Of course, her motives were completely selfish and ruled by some pathetic infatuation with her leader. Still…she truly thought she was sparing her family from Lucifer’s wrath.
I close my eyes for a beat and lose an exasperated breath. “I’ll never forgive her. I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want. But I won’t tell L to throw her out. However, if that’s what he wants to do, I won’t talk him out if it.”
“Thank you.” Andras exhales with relief. “That’s more than I had hoped for. I know you don’t understand it, but…she’s the closest person I have here. I was a demon who was birthed in fire, not a fallen angel. So familial attachments are not natural to us. We were not predisposed to love and affection like Legion and Phenex, and even Lucifer, were. They know what it’s like to be part of a real family. I didn’t until the Se7en. And our family wouldn’t be the same without her.”
I hear him, but I don’t want to. I don’t want to hear his sad story of how he didn’t know what it meant to belong, of how he didn’t know how it felt for a family to take you in and claim you as one of their own until he met the Se7en. I don’t care that he wasn’t born out of love, and may never know what it truly means to give your whole self to someone. His pain isn’t special…it isn’t unique. His scars may be older, maybe even deeper, but they aren’t much different than mine.
After pleading his case, Andras climbs to his feet.
“There’s a meeting in five.”
“So?”
“So…you’re expected to be there.”
“For what? I’m not one of the Se7en.”
“You attended the meetings before, didn’t you? What changed?”
My face is a mask of icy cold indifference when I lift my chin and answer, “Everything.”
Niko would have been proud.
Although I was initially adamant about not attending the meeting, curiosity gets the best of me, and I resign to leave the isolation of L’s bedroom and join them. When I pause at the entryway of the open living area, all conversation coming from the dining room ceases. Half a dozen sets of eyes are on me, anxiously awaiting my next move. But there’s one intense gaze in particular that holds me hostage, binding me in sparkling threads of silver, and pulls me deeper into the room.
“Glad you could join us,” Legion notes, as I take the seat beside him. It’s this one or the chair that was once reserved for Lilith, and I’ll be damned if I sit there. Even the reminder of her presence grates my patience.
Once I’m settled, Legion resumes informing the Se7en of their next move.
“With us being one man down, we’ll all need to pick up extra shifts, as well as tighten security measures. Toyol, where are we on extending surveillance?”
“I’ll have it up by the end of the day,” Toyol replies, tapping something out on the screen of his iPad. “And thanks to Dorian, I’ve been working on reinforcing the wards.”
“Good. Cain, what do we have going on in the way of weaponry?”
The hideously scarred demon takes one look at me and narrows his eyes before turning his attention to Legion. “I think we should go exclusively silver with bullets. They’d be a bitch to load, but using a titanium alloy clip may reduce side effects.”
“And can we ensure their safety?” Phenex inquires.
Cain shrugs. “Safer than going without them. It’s our best bet, considering Lucy’s bitches have somehow gotten their hands on angel venom. The silver will take them down before their blades can touch us. It’s a risk we’ll have to take.”
Phenex nods, apparently satisfied with those odds. “Speaking of, I’ve been working to duplicate the antidote, while Jinn is attempting to form a synthetic version of the venom.”
“Any success?” Legion quizzes.
“Some. Not as much as we would like.”
Legion nods grimly. “Keep at it, especially the antidote. Without us having a full dose at our disposal, the next ambush could be fatal. And now that Eden is back under our protection, he’ll probably multiply his forces.”
The rest of the table grumbles their agreement, each of them looking less than confident. They’re vulnerable. There’s six of them against God only knows how many of Lucifer’s soldiers. Protecting me will be a full time job without benefits.
“What about the weapon?” I pipe up, feeling like I should offer something…something to make me feel like less of a burden.
“What weapon?” Cain gruffs from down the table.
“While I was…down there…Nikolai told me there was a weapon—the only thing that could stop Lucifer. And I was the key to manipulating it. What if we got our hands on it? It would put all of this to an end, right?”
Silence. Not one of them even has the decency to meet my eyes.
“So there is a weapon, isn’t there?”
Uneasy shuffling from Andras. Cain clears his throat.
“Helloooo. Is there or isn’t there a weapon?”
More. Fucking. Silence.
“So no one is going to acknowledge what I just said? You’re all going to pretend that I could possibly be on to something? Shit, why am I even here then?”
A few questioning glances at Legion, who flexes his jaw hard enough to bite through steel.
“You know what? Fuck this,” I huff, jumping from my seat and slamming my palms against the marble tabletop. “I did things your way last time. You left me in the dark—lied to me—and I let you. How does that make you any better than Lucifer? When you’re just keeping me around to use me for some hidden agenda. That’s not happening again. You want me here, then start talking. If I wanted to be someone’s play thing to be manipulated and debased, I could have done it Hell in much nicer clothes.”
When no one has the balls to even comment on my diatribe, I turn to stalk out of the room. Hell, I’d rather be on the street than to be someone’s kept whore.
“Wait,” Legion barks before I can get two yards away from his spot at the head of the table. “Wait. You’re right.”
I refuse to turn to look at him. “Right about what?”
“We—no, I—have been keeping you in the dark about most things pertaining to your role here. I know you don’t trust me right now, but I’m asking you to believe in me just one more time. Eden, please, come sit down so I can explain.”
I pivot my body around to gauge whether or not the sincerity in his tone contradicts his usually cold expression, and I find that, surprisingly, it doesn’t. Because the way he’s looking at me—as if I am moonlight in his cloudless night sky—somehow pulls me back to where he stands, eager to bask in those radiant, twinkling stars. I allow myself to gaze up at them—at him—for just one intense moment before I sit down. Staring at him will make me remember what it was like to be adored by him under the veil of twilight, and then I’d never break free from his hold. I would be all too happy to be blissfully ignorant as long as I was at his side, and I need answers. Answers that won’t be diluted with half-truths.
“The weapon you speak of,” L begins, locking his fingers in front of his chin, “is in my possession.”
“What?”
“Nikolai…what he gave me before we were pulled out of Hell.”
Of course. It all makes sense now. Niko needed me to distract Lucifer long enough to extract it from wherever it was. The ball was the perfect diversion, although it ended up being me distracted by Lucifer. However, it gave him enough time to nab it while Legion made his way to my room. As if it were planned… But how would L have known there was a ball that night? And would Niko have known that L would be there at the exact right time to give it to him?
Coincidence? Maybe. Divine intervention? Possibly.
“Well, why aren’t we using it?” I question the obvious. A weapon that could defeat Lucifer…what more is there to discuss?
“Because it’s not that simple, Eden.”
Legion reaches into his pocket and pulls out the small satchel, gingerly placing it on the tabletop in front of him. With timid fingers, he opens it and reveals what looks to be an ancient amulet made of aged gold. The pendant is fashioned into a horned beast—a dragon, maybe—with tiny, dazzling diamonds for eyes. And within in its mouth, fenced by razor-sharp fangs is a blood red gem, very much similar to the gems embedded in the Se7en’s sacred dagger, The Redeemer.
“What is it?” I whisper, almost afraid to wake the sleeping beast guarding the jewel. It’s hideous, yet oddly majestic. I can’t tear my eyes from its frightening beauty.
“It is what I once was,” L explains, his voice taking on that rumbling timbre full of nostalgia and sadness. “I know he told you about the monster I used to be, Eden. I know he showed you the horrors I caused. Within this amulet is my power—the power of many. It is the Legion of Lost Souls. The weapon that can defeat Lucifer…is me. I’m the weapon.”
On impulse, I reach out towards the necklace, but pause before touching. I look up at L who gives me a stiff nod.
“Go ahead,” he gently urges, sliding it towards my outstretched fingertips.
There’s something about that strange and daunting amulet, something that draws me to it like a moth to a flame. And the very second my skin grazes the smooth, red jewel, a blast of heat radiates through me like a rapidly moving virus. It lasts only a second before fizzling to its death, but I feel its memory in my bones, as if it scorched its name on every one of my cells. Legion, they whisper. A million lost souls imprisoned in blood have branded me, and claimed me as their own. I snatch my hand back, but it’s too late. They already know who I am.
“What…what was that?” I stammer.
Legion stuffs the amulet back into the satchel and stows it in his pocket. “The reason I can’t use this weapon, even to defeat Lucifer. You felt its power; you know what it will do to your world. I can’t take that chance.”
“You mean, I felt your power, and I know what you will do to my world. You’re the weapon?”
He nods, his shoulders sagging.
“Are you afraid this will change who you are? After all you’ve done to atone for your sins? After all the good you’ve done on Earth? It can’t completely alter you…right?”
“I can’t be certain, and like I said, I can’t take that chance. Not when innocent humans are at stake. Not when your life is at stake. I won’t ever put you in that situation again.”
I nod, because arguing would be ignorant of me. I don’t know the extent of Legion’s power, but judging by the small, superficial dose I just felt ripple through me, I could guess. And if he says unleashing it would mean destruction of humanity, then maybe I should suck up my stubborn pride and do exactly what he’s been begging me to do: trust him.
“Well…” Andras pipes up, testing the tension in the room. I had forgotten he was here. Honestly, Legion’s presence had eclipsed any and every thing that didn’t exist between our two breaths. “Now that that’s settled, shall we move on to the elephant in the room?”
We both turn to him, confusion resting on my brow, frustration weighing on his.
“She can’t stay in there forever,” Andras explains. “We need to work this out. You said so yourself, L—we’re down a man. It doesn’t have to be this way.”
“Fuck. That,” Cain snarls from the other side of the table, and for once, he and I are in total agreement.
“She’s one of us,” Andras counters. His sky blue gaze darts to me for half a second, and I know exactly what he means: I’m not one of them. And Lilith is. Their loyalty should be to her. “We don’t turn our backs on family.”
“Lilith made her choice when she aligned with Lucifer,” L states. “The Se7en was founded on absolute trust, and she broke that the minute she set us up.”
“Did she also tell you that he was threatening to put a price on all our heads? Unleashing his entire army on Earth if we didn’t give her up?”
“Isn’t that what he’s already doing?” Toyol chimes in.
Andras shakes his head. “That was just a warning. He isn’t playing by the rules anymore.”
“He wouldn’t dare,” Toyol retorts. “He knows the terms set by the Almighty. Breaking them is suicide, and he’s much too narcissistic to take the risk.”
“And now that he gave up the use of the Called in his bargain with Eden, he’s losing leverage,” L adds. “We can handle whatever he throws at us.”
“But what if Lucifer isn’t behind the increased attacks?”
The whole room grows silent, and a chill sweeps through the space, as if the AC has just been cranked up. Everyone turns towards the source of that feminine, sing-song voice aside from me. I can’t look at her right now. Not when I can still feel the silver, angel venom-soaked rope biting into my wrists.
“You are forbidden from joining this meeting, Lilith. Leave!” L shouts, forcefully enough to make flinch.
“Just hear me out,” she pleads. “I have information that could help us—that could save our lives. I want to help.”
“You’ve done enough.”
“Please, Legion…I’m sorry. Eden?” Her voice trembles but I still refuse to give her the decency of an acknowledgement. “What I said…I didn’t mean it. You have to know that. I only had to say those things so Lucifer would believe I was on his side.”
When I don’t respond, Phenex pipes in with, “You were on his side, Lilith. Your actions have hurt this entire team. You have to take responsibility for what you’ve done.”
“And I have. Phenex, you know my heart. You know I could never maliciously hurt someone, especially L. Lucifer promised me he wouldn’t be harmed.”
“Yet, you sacrificed Eden?” L roars, jumping to his feet. “How could you? Do you know what I risked to get her back? What the Dark sacrificed to keep her safe? Do you have any idea of the mess you caused?”
“I…I…know I…” she snivels, probably looking like the doe-eyed damsel in distress that I believed she was when we first met. Before I knew that she was nothing but a wolf in sheep’s clothing. “I’m sorry. Let me make it right. Let me have another chance. I can help.”
L makes a face as if he’s about to spit the bitter curse of her name from his mouth. He looks down at me, and somehow, his expression instantly softens. “What do you want to do with her, Eden? You are the one who has suffered the most from her treachery. How should she be dealt with?”
Disownment.
Banishment.
Death.
They all seem like pretty good options to me. But I know that the Se7en wouldn’t just be losing one member. They’d be losing two. Andras wouldn’t get over it. And I can’t be the cause of any more pain or dissention.
“If you think she can be trusted, whatever she knows could be valuable.”
I don’t have to look up to know that they’re all staring at me, some with expressions of shock or confusion. Others with relief and thankfulness. I’m done with being a part of this. I did what I said I’d do, and now I can’t stand to be in the same room with Lilith for one second longer.
Slowly, I climb to my feet, and turn away from their perplexed faces. The moment my eyes fall on her slender, unusually disheveled frame, I see red. Then I’m marching towards her, heart thumping and my jaw tensed so tight that my cheeks ache. She doesn’t even have time to shield herself, or doesn’t feel the need to, before my fist collides with her nose with a resounding crack! that echoes throughout the room. She staggers, holding her nose that’s trickling with blood, and looks at me with wild eyes.
“Me and you…we’re done,” I spit, venom dripping from my tongue. “I don’t forgive you and I haven’t forgotten what you did. From here on out, I could give a fuck about you and your apologies. You are dead to me.”
I storm out of the room and down the hall with stunned silence at my back, aside from the sound of Cain’s gruff snickering.