I must wait for hours for Legion to fall asleep. He insisted on being inside me until we both passed out from exhaustion, and he did a damn good job of trying. The sun was peeking from behind angry, gray clouds when he finally insisted we sleep, but I knew there was no way I could shut my eyes. Not with the risk of who would appear to me in my dreams. Not when I knew what lay ahead.
As I stealthily wash and dress myself, I try to wrap my head around what transpired the night before. Seeing Lucifer…that couldn’t have been real. But I felt his hands on me, his skilled, elegant fingers raking across my naked belly from hipbone to hipbone. I heard his voice just as clearly as I heard Legion groaning in my ear. But…how? He promised he would release me, and all other humans, from the Calling if I went with him. He gave me his word. How the hell does he still have a hold on me?
Even with my heart in my throat, I allow myself a few quiet moments to gaze at Legion, in all his blinding beauty. God, he’s everything I’ve ever wanted, and everything I didn’t realize I needed. And even with all the distrust and danger that comes with him, I am undeniably infatuated with him. I think even my broken, human heart knew that from the first time I saw him in my store in the middle of the night, buying iced tea and mints. I was always meant to fall victim to his starlit eyes and rare, dazzling smiles. Even when I hated him, a part of me was always reaching out, begging for him to notice me…to want me.
That seems like so long ago.
Now, as I look down at his peaceful, sleeping frame, I can physically feel myself being torn in two. And neither one of us deserves it. We can’t go on like this. I can’t keep telling myself that the guilt and shame will just go away. Now that I know the truth, I can’t look at him and not wonder if it’s Adriel he sees, if it’s Adriel he’s making love to, if it’s Adriel he risked his life to pull out of Hell.
I’ve been so stupid for so long. Even with the uncertainty churning in my gut, I still opened myself to him. I still spread my legs and let him take me—over and over and over—without protection. Why wasn’t he worried? When he knew…he knew what could happen. I may have been beyond reckless in my quest to lose myself in him, but what was his excuse? His motivation?
“Nephilim and Cambion are highly coveted.”
Shit.
What if…what if Lucifer isn’t the only one with a horse in this race?
I was so desperate to disprove him—so eager to show that Legion’s intentions with me were sincere—that I hadn’t even considered it. But what would he gain? What good could possibly come out of being so irresponsible?
I don’t give myself another second to ponder it before I sling my bag over my shoulder, and turn for the bedroom door. I won’t look back. I’d rather die than attempt to tear myself away one more time.
“Going somewhere?” a gruff voice sounds from the living room. I had been so wrapped up in trying to escape the bedroom covertly that I didn’t even notice him.
Cain rises from the couch and strides over to the where I stand just yards from the front door. I was so close…so close from making a clean break. I wanted to rip the Band-Aid off. Now I’m forced to watch as it’s peeled away slowly from the gaping, festering wound on my heart.
“I…I…” I stammer. It’s frightening enough to be alone with the scarred demon of murder. But having to explain myself…
“You were just going to cut and run?” he guesses. “Not even leave the money on the nightstand? Wow. I have to say, I’m surprised by you, Eden. Maybe even a little impressed. Never thought you had the balls.”
“What do you want, Cain?” I deadpan, desperate to escape his beady-eyed stare. However, he doesn’t even respond. Instead, he casually begins to empty his pockets onto the table. A set of keys, a cellphone, a wad of cash, and a small handgun. Shit. Is he preparing for a fight? The blood in my veins runs cold.
“You know, I never thought it’d be a human to bring Legion to his knees,” he comments, focusing on arranging the items in a neat line. “He’s been unshakable for years—centuries. He is by far the strongest demon I’ve ever had the pleasure to call my brother. And you…you’re deadset on destroying him.”
“I’m not destroying him,” I insist. “I’m saving him.”
“How’s that? By leaving him in the wee hours of the morning, knowing he will stop at nothing to get you back? Even at the expense of the Se7en—at the expense of his life?” There’s fierceness in his voice that I’ve never heard before. Not his usual gravely growl. But something else. Something that closely resembles despair.
“I’m leaving because of that,” I plead, hoping he can understand just how much this hurts me. “I know he’ll do anything it takes to keep me safe, and I can’t let him. I can’t allow one more person to be affected by me. He’s trusting a traitor—someone that nearly got him killed—in his radical quest to protect me. I can’t stop him, Cain—no one can. You know that. So the only thing I can do is take myself out of the equation.”
“And you think that’ll work.” It’s not a question. He sees right through me.
“It has to be better than putting a target on all your backs.”
He heaves out a heavy sigh and nods. Not in agreement, but in resignation. I’ve already made up my mind, and he knows there’s nothing he can do to stop me. At least that’s better than nothing. If he physically tried to make me stay, there would be nothing I could do to fight him off.
“Ok, then. Well…take care of yourself, Eden.” He spares a glance at the row of items he left on the table before turning for the hallway towards his room.
Odd.
“Hey, you left your stuff on the table,” I shout-whisper before he disappears out of my line of vision.
“What stuff?” he replies over his shoulder. “I didn’t leave anything.”
My face is pinched in confusion and I open my mouth to argue when it hits me.
I scoop up the wad of cash, keys and cell, and stuff them in my jacket pocket. The handgun is a different beast altogether. With the very tips of my fingers, I pick it up and carefully place it in my bag.
Fucking Cain.
Well…I’ve been wrong about him before.
When I reach the underground parking garage, I hit the remote control unlock to see which car he’s left for me. To my surprise—and relief—it’s a smaller Jag than the one that was smashed into pieces on Michigan Ave. Damn, that car was sexy. But this one is just as luxurious, and of course, it’s black on black, complete with tinted windows. The seats are like butter and it still has that new car smell. I briefly wonder whose baby I could be borrowing before pulling out the cell phone. It’s clean—new. As if he was always expecting me to run.
“Hello?” a groggy voice sounds over the receiver.
“Sister?”
“Eden? Is that you? Oh my God, honey, where have you been? I tried to call you but…”
“Yeah, I, uh, lost my phone. Listen, I want to come see you. I need your new address.” I only know that L moved her to a safe building in a nice part of town. I didn’t even bother with details because I never expected to see her again.
“Sure. Come now. I’ll call down so the doorman knows to let you up. I can’t wait to see you.”
I mentally jot down the info and crank up the car. It purrs for me, inviting me to grasp the steering wheel and give a little pressure on the gas. I’m not sure how the hell I’m going to get out of here, but as I approach the first steel door, it slides open. It must be equipped with some type of sensor that disarms the alarms. That’s a plus. With all the swiftness of a 90-year-old great granny, I drive into the first of many tunnels encased in what looks like steel. Now that I’m traveling much slower than before, I notice that they’re all marked with symbols drawn with black paint, or maybe soot. Runes of protection and deflection, I wonder. Niko originally constructed the wards into the Se7en’s secret lair, but these look fresh. Maybe Dorian, or even Gabriella, strengthened them in my absence.
After several minutes of carefully driving through the tunnels and doors at a snail’s pace, careful not put a single scratch on my borrowed car, I finally make it to a side-street and into the early morning sunlight streaming through heavy, dark clouds. I don’t know how the rest of the Se7en race through the passageway like it’s nothing. I swear, I don’t even breathe until I hit the priority road.
The entire way to Sister’s new place, I nearly chew a hole through my lip as I worry about how to explain my absence. But when she opens the door to her new, incredibly spacious apartment, she acts as if no time has passed at all. As if I didn’t just drop off the face of the Earth. As if Lucifer hadn’t held her hostage, naked and dirty, in a successful attempt to blackmail me.
“It’s so good to see you, little sister.” She wraps her arms around me and squeezes. Of course, I go completely stiff. Sister has always been the affectionate one, while I tend to shy away from most physical contact. That never stopped her though. She wanted me to know I was loved, even when it made me excruciatingly uncomfortable.
“Nice digs,” I remark when she finally releases me. I take in the vast, open living area with wide picture windows. Creams and whites with hints of industrial grays. It’s bright and open, allowing natural light to add warmth to the space. It’s her. I always imagined her in a place like this. She was much too good for our little ramshackle apartment.
“Right? Apparently the guy who bought our old building is some old, rich dude who wants to tear it down and turn it into a strip mall. I think he only paid us all off because he was afraid of a lawsuit. Toxic mold, asbestos, and a ton of other hazards. No surprise there.”
“I have to agree with you on that,” I reply stifling a pained grin. Rich, old dude. Well, Legion is pretty old. And judging by the cars and the Se7en’s headquarters, I’d have to say rich too.
“Come, come,” she says, ushering me towards the bright white couches. It’s all fully furnished. If not for the few cardboard boxes stashed in the corner, I wouldn’t be able to tell that she moved in just days ago.
“I’m sorry to just barge in here on you.” I drop my bag at my feet, careful not to disturb the Glock inside.
“Are you kidding me? Eden, you’re not barging in. This is your home. Whenever you’re ready to come back…this is your home too.”
I try to smile to keep the emotion from my eyes. “Good. Because…I need a place to crash for a little while.”
“Things not working out with Lily?”
That’s the understatement of the year. Especially since doe-eyed sweetheart Lily doesn’t exist. “Not exactly.”
“Well, I hate that it didn’t, but I am so glad you’re here. Come on, I’ll show you to your room.”
She’s already pulling me up to my feet when I say, “You don’t have to do anything special, Sister. I can just crash on the couch.”
“No, Eden. You have a room here. Come see for yourself.”
Sister leads me down the hallway, stopping in front of a closed door. She peers over at me, those big, brown eyes dancing with glee. “Go ahead. I think you’ll like it.”
Not fully understanding her excitement, I roll my eyes and push open the door.
And I freeze, unable to go any further.
The bedding, the walls…all swathed in shades of muted gray. Gray like the eyes I had stared into just hours before, wishing I could gaze at them until I took my last breath. I know that comforter. I’ve slept with it wrapped around my naked body. The headboard is cushioned, as if it was specifically picked out for me by someone who knew I liked to read in bed. The nightstands and dressers are simple, understated and minimal, as if that same person knew I didn’t care for frivolous furnishings. But where he held back on décor, he more than made up in the killer entertainment and stereo center, along with a bookcase outfitted with every book I had on my online TBR list. There’s even a cushy reading nook placed along the giant picture window overlooking the city. How…how would he know? Why would he even expect that one day I would seek refuge from my reality and need a place to call my own?
“This is my room?”
“Well, it certainly isn’t mine,” Sister laughs. She gently twirls a lock of my silver hair around her finger. “It’s always been meant for you.”
“It’s…it’s…amazing.”
“Thank Mr. Money Bags.” She yawns into the back of her hand and rubs her bloodshot eyes. “I’m going to get a couple more hours. But before I forget, it’s kinda perfect that you showed up today of all days.”
“Why’s that?” I question, tearing my eyes away from the splendor of the room—my room.
“Well, Ben and I were going out for dinner and drinks tonight with a friend—this new guy that works with him that’s really sweet and really cute. I met him a couple days ago, and oh my God, Eden, you have to meet him! I’ve told him all about you too, and he seemed super interested.”
“Oh no, I think I’ll pass,” I groan, smelling a setup from a mile away.
“Please, little sister? Please? It’s just…I just got you back, and I don’t want to leave you here. You don’t even have to hang out with him. Just meet him.”
I shake my head. “Not my scene. You go ahead and have fun. I’d rather get settled in and watch Netflix.”
“Ok,” she pouts. “I’ll just cancel with Ben then. Sucks because we haven’t had a night out in what seems like forever…”
Dammit. I know what she’s doing and I am not about to give in. I am not about to let her guilt me with those puppy dog eyes and that sad, pathetic look on her face. I will not cave.
“Fine. I’ll meet him,” I huff before she turns around to exit.
“Awesome!” she claps gleefully before planting a kiss on my cheek. “You’ll like him, I promise.”
“Yeah, yeah. I better be getting some free drinks out of this.”
“Totally. But for real…I need to get my eight hours. Fridge is stocked and the WiFi password is your birthday. Love you, little sis!”
She plants another kiss on my cheek before she bounds down the hall, springy curls bouncing with every step. It’s always been impossible not to love her. She has been the best part of me—the me I wish I could be. Carefree, driven, thoughtful, kind. I would swim oceans for that girl, and she wouldn’t hesitate to do the same.
I take a few minutes to associate myself with my new room, trying hard to keep the tears at bay at every reminder of L. He did this on purpose. He wanted me to think of him. And it’s worked. Still, I wouldn’t trade this beautiful space for anything, even though I have to stop and deliberately breathe through the knot in my throat every few minutes. Legion had started to become my home. And now he’s created one for me, even when I can’t be with him.
When exhaustion finally finds me, I strip off my jeans and crawl onto the plush bed. It all feels the same, yet it doesn’t. Not without him here beside me. I reach out a hand to the other side—the side that would have been reserved for him. It’s cold. Further reiterating what I had just done early this morning.
I slip on the pair of Bose wireless headphones that had been situated at the entertainment center and connect it to the sleek stereo system on the nightstand. I don’t even know what type of music is already loaded onto it, but when it plays, the tears begin to fall freely into the down-stuffed pillow, and there’s absolutely nothing I can do to stop them.
Kanye West.
No one fucking cries to Kanye West. No one but me.
He hates him. And I played it just to spite him. Just to see one of those rare, unguarded, dimpled smiles and to hear the sound of his booming laughter. And when he looked over at me, silver eyes sparkling with mirth, I finally knew what it felt like to have the breath stolen from my lungs.
Funny how so much can change in the span of a week. What I wouldn’t give to see him shake his head at me with a grin tugging at the corner of his lips just one more time. I’d even eat cellophane veggie chips and desert-dry turkey jerky to have him look at me like that again.
Within minutes, I drift asleep to Kanye asking me why I’m so paranoid. And when I’m pulled from slumber some time later, I realize that those weren’t simply lyrics to the backdrop of a sick beat. They were an omen.