I’m silent on our trek through the underground tunnels of the church, but only because I honestly can’t find the words to describe what I’m feeling. My father…my father is the leader of the Alliance of the Ordained. But how? And why? I grew up believing that he fled because he thought my mom was a cheating, psychotic whore, but all this time, he knew she was telling the truth. He knew. And he did nothing to stop her insanity. He packed up and abandoned us—abandoned me—leaving me to figure shit out on my own.
I can’t feel ok about this. I can’t leap into his arms and hug his neck, thrilled at being reunited at long last. I can’t let his warm smiles and adorning looks erase over two decades of pain and fear and rage.
So why do I want to?
Why do I feel so confused, so angry for what he did, yet not hate him?
“You’re not wrong not to hate him,” Crysis says quietly as he leads down the stoned hallway. He’s been tasked with getting me home safely, a chore I’m sure he’s not thrilled about. “Rev is a good man. The separation hasn’t been easy on him.”
“What?” Holy shit. Did he just… “Dude, did you read my thoughts?”
Crysis taps his temple. “You have your gifts, and I have mine.”
Oh. My. God.
Without thinking, I grip his arm with all my might. “Are you like me?” I whisper excitedly.
Annoyed, Crysis yanks out of my grip but doesn’t walk away. “No. Not exactly.”
“But you’re something. That’s why I was able to read you, but then I couldn’t. You blocked me.”
He nods. “Because I am half human, I can project thoughts and emotions at will. I can also shut them off.”
“Half human. Holy fu—crap! What else are you?”
He rolls his eyes at my exuberance and exhales heavily. “Angel. I am Nephilim.”
OhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGod.
“You’re half angel—oh my God. Are you serious?”
He groans with irritation and turns to resume walking.
“Wait, aren’t Nephilim supposed to be like giants in the Bible?”
“I shouldn’t even be telling you this,” he grumbles. A long beat passes before he reluctantly sighs and says, “It’s a metaphor. I’m stronger than the average human, yes. And it’s said that we hold different abilities. The angel trait manifests differently in each Nephilim.”
“And your gift is mind reading?”
“Among other things.”
“What else can you do?”
“Stuff.”
“Does the Alliance know?”
“Yup.”
“Is your dad the angel? Or your mom? Do you see them a lot?”
“Seriously, you have got to quit with the questions. I’m trying to respect God’s house, but trust me, I’ve strangled you a dozen times in my head.”
“You certainly don’t act like an angel,” I mutter under my breath, lagging behind.
“Must be the human in me.”
“Superhuman hearing, huh?” I call out at his back.
“Kinda hard not to hear when your mouth is so big.”
I don’t bother to catch up to him until we reach the main sanctuary, which unsurprisingly, is littered with guards awaiting my appearance. They radiate with distrust, and I do my best to keep my head down and follow Crysis to avoid conflict. I’ve had enough excitement for one evening.
“What? No blindfold?” I ask as we approach the same black SUV from earlier.
“No, but I’d give my left nut for a muzzle.” Guess his whole “respect the house of the Lord” spiel doesn’t cover parking lots.
I slide into the front seat and slam the door. Crysis is already in the driver’s seat cranking up the car.
“Seriously, dude…what’s your beef with me?” I snap. “I know I blew you off earlier, but come on…”
“You’re joking, right?” he chortles. “God, can you be any more self-obsessed? Maybe I just don’t like demon sympathizers who get my men killed.”
“And how are you any better from the Se7en? You and your boys didn’t show up to that gas station with Nerf guns. And if memory serves, your men shot first. What were we supposed to do? Settle it with a rap battle?”
“You were supposed to be smart. That’s the only way you’re going to survive what’s coming.”
“Wait… What’s coming?” That catches my attention. “What are you talking about?”
Crysis shakes his head, keeping his eyes on the road. “Something that Rev doesn’t want to admit. The end.”
“What? Christian…Crysis…whoever the hell you are…tell me what’s going on.”
He shakes his head again, but murmurs, “He doesn’t know where you’ve been.”
“Huh?”
“You’ve done a little traveling, if I’m not mistaken. Down South? The Alliance—your father—doesn’t know about it. And unless you want to live out the rest of your days strapped to a table, they never can.”
I raise a palm, hitting the pause button on this baffling conversation. “Hold up. You’re not making any sense.”
Crysis heaves out an impatient breath. “The Alliance believes they are doing God’s work, and in essence, we are. However, the leaders are old school. They think God’s work involves eradicating everything not of this world, and again, they’re mostly right. Which is why your father left your pregnant mother. He was young—a new member of the Alliance. And staying would have meant exposure.
“After he moved up in the ranks, he thought it would be safe to interfere. However, there are some things he can’t ignore, father or no. You going to Hell is one of those things. A lot has changed, but consorting with Lucifer is non-negotiable. He’d have to turn you over. So I’m not telling him.”
I stare at his profile with wide eyes, mouth ajar. “How? How do you know?”
“The night talks. I listen,” he deadpans.
“Why? If you hate me so much, why keep my secret? Why protect me?”
“I don’t know,” he shrugs. He casts me amused glance. “Must be the angel in me.”
“Hardy har,” I jibe.
“Plus, I need you to do something for me.”
“And there is it…”
“I need you to go back to the Se7en.”
My head nearly spins 360 degrees. “Wait, what? Why?”
“Because they have something that I need. And you’re the only person that can get close enough.”
I cross my arms over my chest and turn back to the road stretched in front of us. “No. Hell no.”
“Fine. I’ll just make a U-Turn then. I’m sure your dad will be thrilled to hear of your travels…”
“Blackmail? Really?” Twice in one week. I’m on a roll.
“If there was any other way that didn’t involve being connected to you, trust me, I’d do it in a heartbeat. But, alas, you are my only option.”
“I’m not betraying the Se7en. Not only is that super shitty, but it would be committing suicide.”
He shoots me a sidelong glance, brow raised. “Would it be? Rumor has it, Lilith set you up, betraying your precious Legion, and she’s still under their roof, very much undead. You don’t think they’d extend you the same grace?”
I choose to ignore his version of events, however accurate they may be, and hit him with a couple questions of my own. “If you know so much, why don’t you retrieve this item yourself? What is it you’re after anyway?”
“A weapon forged in fire and blood. The Redeemer. It’s a dagger that has the power to send demons back where they came from. You see, when the Se7en elected to leave Hell, Lucifer stripped them of most of their power out of spite, making them vulnerable. However, there are others out there wreaking havoc—Lucifer’s goons—at their full strength. They are lower level demons, but still very dangerous and very hard to kill. That’s why I need that knife.”
Crap.
There’s no way in hell I’m telling him that I know exactly what he’s talking about—the very same dagger used in the Se7en’s sacred ritual, the Blood Oath. I’d be an idiot to agree to steal something from a band of assassin demons, especially something so precious. Besides, it’s locked away in a room I never have access to. How would I even get close to it?
Still… I can’t let the Alliance know about me being in Hell. I don’t need them on my ass, especially now that I’m trying to move on. Not to mention that I’ve just met my father, a man that supposedly abandoned me to save my life. But when it came down to it, he just traded shit for shit. Either way, I was doomed.
With all the crazy swimming in my head, I don’t even realize that we’ve arrived until the car stops in front of my sister’s building. Crysis reaches over and fishes something out of the glove compartment, brushing against my thigh in the process.
“Here. It’s a burner phone. Keep it out of sight, and don’t get caught with it.” He tosses me the tiny thing. It’s smaller than my palm. “Let me know when you’ve made your decision. In the meantime, I’ll be in touch. If there’s anything you think I should know—anything at all—mine is the only number saved.”
I nod, and place my hand on the latch to leave, not really knowing what to say. After everything I’ve learned, “see you later” just seems more than a little underwhelming.
“Oh, and Eden?” he begins, his voice taking on that same tone from last night. The nice, normal guy voice. “You’re not pregnant.”
My eyes are damn near popping from their sockets. “What?”
“My…gift. I don’t hear thoughts, per say. Just things that people project—things they shout in their heads. It’s not an exact science. Last night, you kept projecting “I’m not pregnant,” as if the thought had been plaguing you. You’re not, by the way. Another angel gift. I can sense new life, just as I can sense when someone is dying. Even before they know it themselves. Not a fun party trick,” he grins solemnly.
“Oh.” I swallow, digesting it all. I’m not pregnant. I’m not pregnant. I should be jumping up and down right about now. “Well…thanks.”
“Don’t mention it. Just think about what I asked. It could be a good thing. For you…for humanity. Imagine a world without demons. Think of how your life has been turned upside down because of evil. You want a normal life…a family. This could be your ticket.”
With that, I shoot him a tight, awkward smile and exit the SUV. I have a lot to think about, and I’m not about to make a decision right here, right now. He makes a lot of good points. The presence of evil on earth has affected every facet of my life, even before I took my first lungful of oxygen. I could have had a normal, happy childhood. I could have been popular, gotten good grades, gone to college. Maybe even had an actual healthy relationship. A world eradicated of evil could be my second chance.
But at what cost?
Could I really betray Legion? Phenex? Even Cain? Could I live with myself if I put Andras, Jinn and Toyol in danger, after they’ve fought for me, risked their lives for me? Lilith can eat a dick, but I can’t hurt her without hurting the others in the process. Which is why I’m trudging back to my sister’s apartment, looking like day old death, without a plan or even a sliver of direction. How can I move on when I’m stuck standing still?
I don’t even have the door unlocked when it’s yanked open by a five-foot-nothing hellion with wild, corkscrew curls.
“Where have you been? I was so worried when I came home and you weren’t here!”
She takes a quick pause to assess my disheveled appearance, then her face lights up with devious delight. “Hold up. You little skank! You totally went home with Christian last night!”
Well…she isn’t totally wrong.
I can’t even help the amused irony on my face. “It was an interesting night. But no…we didn’t hook up.”
“No? Then what happened? Christian said you two would meet us at this wine bar down the street, so when you didn’t show, I figured you two hit it off.”
“Oh. Yeah. But we just talked. He’s…not what I expected.”
Sister grips my arm, pulling me to the living room. “Tell me everything, and don’t leave anything out. Do you like him? Are you going to see him again? Did you two kiss?”
In the span of sixty seconds, she’s already planned our wedding, so I simply let her ramble on excitedly and wait for her to take a breath. Before she moves on to picking out our children’s names, I pry her tiny fingers from my arm and attempt to escape the interrogation.
“Sis, I am in desperate need of a hot shower and a few hours of shut eye. Can we pick this up later? When the sun is up?”
She smiles sheepishly. “Of course, my bad. We’ll chat later. But before you go,” she begins before I can turn towards the hallway leading to the bedrooms. “I need to tell you something really quick.” She takes a deep breath. “Ben and I have decided to live together…here. Now, nothing has to change at all. This is still your home too, so if you’re not cool with that, no dice. But his lease is up, and we’ve got all this room, and it would just make so much more sense financially, and we both work crazy hours so we hardly see each other as it is—”
“It’s fine,” I state on a sigh. I love my sister, but holy shit, just listening to her can be exhausting.
“Huh?”
“It’s fine, Sister. You deserve to be happy, and living together is the natural progression of a relationship, or so I’ve heard. It’s cool with me.”
“Thank you,” she beams, wrapping her arms around me and squeezing tight. “You’re the best.”
“Not even close,” I reply, resolving to squeeze her even tighter.
I’m just stepping out of the shower when I hear the commotion coming from the front of the apartment. I’m racing down the hallway, dripping wet, in nothing but a bathrobe in two seconds flat. Fortunately, I was smart enough to bring the handgun into the bathroom. Unfortunately, judging by Sister’s high-pitched screech, which I’m sure is rousing every dog in the neighborhood, I may have to use it.
“This is insane! You can’t just come in here. Hey! What the hell kinda handyman are you?!”
Handyman? What?
Wait…
“I need to see her. Where is she?”
“You can’t just barge in here like you own the place—hey! Your boots are going to track mud onto the carpet!”
The moment I step into view, Legion strides over to me, Sister on his heels. He grasps my shoulders and leans down to study my face.
“Did they harm you? Tell me they laid a finger on you, and I swear on—”
I shake my head and pull away from his hold. Not because I don’t want him to touch me, but because Sister looks like she’s ready to rip his head off. Thank God the Glock is safely stashed in the pocket of my robe. “I’m fine, L. They didn’t touch me.”
“Eden, who the hell is this?” She comes to stand beside me, eyeing L with distrust.
Shit.
Obviously the handyman shtick is played out.
I stammer, “He’s, um…he’s…”
“I’m her boyfriend.”
Boyfriend? Oh, for fuck’s sake. That word doesn’t even sound right touching his lips.
“Boyfriend?” Sister repeats. “Eden doesn’t have a boyfriend.”
Because Eden doesn’t do boyfriends. I was more of a hit it and quit it type of girl. Relationships require intimacy, closeness, vulnerability. None of which I could afford.
“She does now.” Then in an act that causes my jaw to hit to the carpet, he extends his palm. “L. It’s nice to finally meet you, Mary. Even under these circumstances. Apologies if I startled you.”
Sister takes one look at his outstretched hand before her skeptical eyes travel back up to his face. “Uh huh. Then why did you tell me you were the handyman?”
“Eden wasn’t ready for us to meet yet,” he explains, retracting his offered hand without a hint of offense. “She’s protective over you, as you are with her. I can understand and respect that.” The lie is so smooth that I almost find myself nodding in agreement.
“And how long have you known each other?”
At this, he has the nerve—the freakin’ nerve—to flash a dimpled grin. “Seems like forever, honestly. But we only recently made it official, hence the reason why she wanted our meeting to be right. Unfortunately, when I couldn’t reach her earlier, I grew worried. There was a disturbance earlier tonight—close to the restaurant you dined at. I had to know she was safe. Please excuse my overprotectiveness.”
“Right.” She purses her lips, still looking him up and down. “So you know we went out to dinner. Do you know who we went with?”
Another heartbreaking smile. Damn him. “I trust her, just as I hope she trusts me. My only hope was that she’d have a good time reconnecting with her sister.”
I choke out a cough that oddly sounds like Bullshit.
“Sure,” Sister responds, sucking her teeth. “So, L, what do you do?”
“I’m a real estate developer.”
“You sure don’t seem like one.”
“I get that a lot.”
“Are you from Chicago?”
“Not originally.”
“When did you move here?”
“Some time ago.”
“Where do you live?”
“Not too far from here.”
Sister is firing off the questions, and L is knocking them down seamlessly. But before this hops over into “What are your intentions with my little sister?” territory, I finally find my voice and interject.
“Look, I really need to talk to L…in private, not to mention put on some clothes before I freeze to death. Do you think we can do this another time?”
Sister looks to me, then back to L, still not fully trusting him, yet there’s less murder in her glare.
“Fine. Go. We’ll talk later.”
Before she changes her mind and goes to grab Brenda the bat, I grab L’s hand and lead him back to my bedroom, locking the door behind us.
“What was that?”
“Tell me everything. I need full descriptions, names, locations.” He’s pacing. I’ve never seen him this keyed up, especially not over me. “What did they say to you? What do they want?”
“Slow down, ok? They didn’t want anything.” I can’t tell him what Crysis requested. Not now, anyway. “They just wanted to introduce themselves.”
He stops pacing long enough to turn to me, his expression indecipherable. “The Alliance?”
“Yeah. How did you know?”
“It’s their M.O. They’re organized—highly trained. They scramble our cameras around the city to protect their location. We haven’t been able to successfully infiltrate without risking exposure. And that guy you were with…I feel like I know him yet…I don’t know. Did you get a read on him?”
“Yeah.”
“And?”
“Nothing at first. Look, L, I know you’re pissed about what happened…”
Then suddenly, he’s right in front of me, cupping my face in his massive palms and engulfing me in heat. He runs a thumb over my bottom lip and silences whatever I was prepared to say. “Shit, Eden, I could have lost you again. If they would have hurt you…” His voice is so painstakingly desperate, as if every word is a tiny tragedy. “I would burn this city to the ground. I would hunt them down, one by one, and unleash a billion years a vengeance on every last soul that laid a finger on you. Hell would be too kind for them.”
I don’t even blink as I take in the anguish painted on his face. When he speaks to me like this—like I am more than a speck of dust in his world of myth and fantasy—I almost believe him. I want to believe him. Surrender would be so much easier.
“I’m ok,” I whisper against his thumb. “I swear, they just wanted to talk.”
He releases me yet still stays close. “Why?”
“Well…” I take a deep breath, and wet my lips, tasting the ghost of his skin. I have to give him this, if not for his sanity, then for mine. There’s no way I could tell anyone else. “One of the leaders of the Alliance is…my father.”
“What?”
“Reverend Joshua Harris. He’s part of the Alliance of the Ordained. According to him, that’s why he left me and my mother before I was born. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe her, it was that he knew she was telling the truth. And he didn’t want to have to turn me in.”
“That is…” He brushes a hand through his dark hair, searching for the words to describe this shit show.
“Totally fucked, I know. I’m still digesting it, myself. All this time I’ve hated him for abandoning us. Now I don’t know what to feel.”
“Shit. Are you going to see him again?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. He had a lot to say about you, too.”
“Like what?” he frowns, taking a step back.
“Like how you pulled some freaky supernatural marking shit on me, and that’s why you could control me at that bar. Seriously? How could you do that and not tell me?”
He turns away from me, and resumes his pacing. So it’s true. “It’s not like I could control it, Eden. It’s more of a mating ritual—a way to keep others away from the ones we’ve claimed. And for it to happen between a demon—a fallen, at that—and a human is virtually unheard of. So I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know if…”
He stops and gazes at me, an unspoken apology in his eyes.
That look…
I know that look.
It’s the same one he wore in that damp, cold basement as Lucifer recited the sins that got his wings ripped away. It was how I last saw him before I took Lucifer’s hand and let him take me to Hell. Guilt. The face he wears is painted in bold shades of guilt.
“You didn’t know if you were claiming me or Adriel.”
“No, it’s not like that.” He shakes his head, but it’s already too late. “I would have claimed her before if it were meant to be. I just…nothing like this has ever happened before.”
I stride over to my dresser and yank out some clothes to throw on. I feel L approach, but he doesn’t touch me. I don’t think I could hold it together if he did.
“Eden, I don’t think you understand how dangerous the Alliance is. Now that you know their leader is your father, they could try to use it as leverage…manipulate you. I want you to be smart, be safe. You can wear the sensor that you wore at the Watcher’s house whenever I’m not around. At least we can track your movements.”
“No need,” I answer stonily, still rummaging through dressers.
“I’m serious, Eden. If you insist on living here, I need to know you’re out of harm’s way.”
“No need, because I won’t be.” I turn around to face him with an armful of clothing. “I’m moving back in.”
“What?” L breathes, a shock of uninhibited hope in his eyes.
I heave out a resigned breath. “I’m moving back in.”
Crysis asked me to consider it, and I told him I wouldn’t betray the Se7en. Two minutes ago, I still felt that way.
It’s funny what just a look can do.