I still couldn’t believe what I had done.

Gods, I had killed Keisha.

“What are we going to do with her?” I asked in a voice too small, too weak to be mine.

“We should take her with us and give her a proper burial,” Levi suggested. “Like I wish we could have done for Morgan.”

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak again.

Levi picked her mangled body up and teleported back to NYC. There, he used magic to dig a grave in a small patch of dead grass. A knot formed in my chest as he lowered her body into the hole and filled it with dirt again.

“We should come back later with the others to finish the rites,” Maho said.

They started walking back to the apartment, but I stood there, staring at the improvised grave.

Levi turned back. His hand rested on my shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

I shook my head. “Not more than I am,” I grunted. “I can’t believe … I can’t believe I did this.”

“It was an accident.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that I killed her.”

Levi scoffed. “You sound like Nadine talking about Morgan.”

I turned around and glared at him. “That was different. Morgan wasn’t himself. He had to be stopped. Nadine did the right thing.” I glanced at the grave again. “Keisha was … she didn’t deserve to die.”

Levi squeezed my shoulder. “I don’t know what to say other than it’s okay to feel frustrated and mad, and it’s okay to mourn her.”

Frustrated and mad didn’t even begin to cover what I was feeling. One more screwup. A huge one at that.

Levi and Maho left, but I stayed outside for a long time.

I wasn’t ready to go inside. I wasn’t ready to face Nadine.

But I couldn’t run from her forever.

Slowly, I made my way to the apartment.

As expected, everyone was in the living room, and Nadine was seated on the couch, her body looking as limp as Keisha’s.

As soon as she saw me, she straightened and her stare could drill a hole in my forehead.

“You killed her,” Nadine whispered. The hatred in her eyes, the disappointment. That hurt more than the Black Thorn piercing my heart. More than the poisonous web spreading across my chest.

“You know I didn’t mean to,” I said. “I would never do that.”

Ceris stepped forward and faced me, her eyes hard, cruel. “I’m not so sure.”

I flinched as if she had hit me. “Excuse me?”

“First, you almost get Victor hurt. Then, you change our scouts’ orders. And now you get one of ours killed? I’m sorry, Mitrus, but since you came back from Nasya’s island, you’ve been elusive. I’m not sure we can trust you anymore.”

I looked from her to Levi to Nadine. They had the same wariness in their eyes, the same distrust as Ceris. So did Maho, Sol, Ronen, and Alice.

“You can’t be serious.”

“Do I look like I’m not serious?” Ceris asked. No, she didn’t.

Ironic how the goddess that screwed us over a few months ago now was the one accusing me of screwing them over.

The worst part was I didn’t know anymore. I didn’t want to hurt them, but when an opportunity came, I couldn’t think of not doing what the Death Lords asked me to. As much as it angered me to do their bidding, to bow down to them, I couldn’t see another solution. I had to let Nadine go, but I couldn’t. Even if she hated me, even if she never wanted to see me again, I couldn’t let her die.

However, this time it had nothing to do with the Death Lords and their elusive deal. This time, I had made a big mistake.

Levi walked to his soulmate’s side and caught her hand in his. “Ceris, you’re exaggerating.”

“Am I?” she snapped.

“Yes, you are,” Levi said. “What happened today … it was an accident. A terrible accident. It wasn’t Mitrus’s fault. You know that.”

“What about the rest?”

“Misunderstandings.” Levi looked at me, his bluish-green eyes serious. “I trust Mitrus. He wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize everything we have worked for.” He sighed. “Unfortunately, accidents happen and today we witnessed a big one.”

Ceris pulled her hand free of Levi’s grasp and took a step back as if it hurt to touch him.

I looked at Nadine. “I’m so sorry.”

A tear rolled down Nadine’s cheek. Without another word, she stood and marched to her bedroom. Ceris followed her, but instead, she went to her room at the end of the hall.

“Give them time,” Levi said. “They will understand.”

Would they? Would they not only understand but also forgive me?

I shook my head. Not even I could forgive myself, so why should they?

I turned around and headed to the door.

“Where are you going?” Maho asked.

“I … I need fresh air,” I said before leaving the apartment.

* * *

I had already drunk an entire whiskey bottle when I summoned Morgan to my lair.

“I killed Keisha,” I said as soon as he shimmered into existence in front of me. Morgan stared at me with wide eyes and an open mouth. I got another bottle from the bar, opened it, and downed half of it in one gulp. “It was an accident, but I killed her nonetheless.”

Morgan finally closed his mouth and sat on one of the chaise lounges. “What happened, my lord?”

I told him all about our day. Finding Lua’s symbol, going to the desert, not finding Lua there, but seeing demons preparing to attack. Nadine getting swarmed by demons and losing, my desperation to get to her and help her, and not seeing Keisha.

Screaming, I threw the bottle at the wall. Shards of glass and liquid flew everywhere.

Morgan gasped.

Slowly, I backed away from the mess and plopped down on the other chaise lounge. With a wave of my hand, the broken glass and spilled liquid were gone. It was as if it had never happened.

“I can sense her here in the underworld,” I said. “She’s confused and upset.” Of course she was upset. Her ally had killed her. I would be raging, wreaking havoc, breaking everything, and punching everyone.

I felt so weak.

God of the dead and death and underworld, my ass. Right now, I was fucked-up Micah who didn’t know what to do next.

Breaking the silence, Morgan asked in a careful tone, “What about Nadine, my lord?”

“She hates my guts right now, as she should. Maybe now she’ll stay away from me for good.”

Morgan tsked. “I doubted she hates you, my lord. She knows it was an accident.”

I was so fucking tired of talking about this subject, of hearing from Levi and Morgan that it had been an accident. It didn’t change the fact that I had killed a hero. This shit wasn’t a game. Killing friends wasn’t something I could just push aside.

“She used magic again today.”

Morgan gaped at me. “Really?”

“Yeah. After I … I killed Keisha. I think Nadine entered some kind of rage mode or something, and she just blasted out. All the demons in a twenty-yard radius collapsed. Despite the circumstances, it was incredible.”

“You know, my lord, I’ve been thinking a lot about what is happening to Nadine.” He stood and started pacing. “I remembered reading about a legend of a group of ladies who were similar to heroes. It was many years ago and I don’t remember the exact details.”

I sat up. “You read it in one of your books?”

“No. I read it when I visited a high priest in France. He had an incredible collection of books about the creed, and he told me he knew of a hidden place where several high priests from all around the world stashed sacred books for safekeeping, books that explained the history and forgotten legends of The Everlasting Circle.”

A sliver of hope ran through my veins. “Do you know where this hidden place is?”

“He didn’t want to tell me, my lord, but I can try to find out.”

“How?”

Morgan smiled. “Well, my lord, he should be somewhere around the underworld. I can ask him.”

Despite myself, I smiled too. Finally, something to look forward to.

* * *

“You weren’t gone for long,” Ceris said when I entered the apartment. She was seated on the couch, drinking a glass of wine and reading a book.

If I hadn’t seen the book was about the creed, I could have sworn Ceris was a rich housewife, reading a romance novel, as if all was normal with the world.

Levi was pacing behind the sofa, also with a book in hand, but now his eyes were on me, and I could see Maho, Sol, and Ronen in the kitchen. Though I tried not using this kind of power with her, I sensed for Nadine. I found her in her bedroom with Alice.

“I think I know what is happening to Nadine and where we can find more books, better books, that might explain it.”

Levi closed his book. “What? Where?”

“What do you think is happening to her?” Ceris asked.

“Morgan vaguely remembers of a legend about a group of ladies who were similar to heroes. We interrogated a high priest and—”

Levi raised his hand. “Wait, wait. You and Morgan interrogated a high priest? Just now? How?”

I almost rolled my eyes. “The guy is dead, okay? It was easy finding his soul in the underworld. I summoned him, and Morgan and I talked to him.” I left out the part where the high priest didn’t want to tell us anything, but when I promised to send him to the fiery pits of the underworld if he didn’t help, he finally told us everything he knew. “This high priest told us there is a secret underground room in the library at the Saint Catherine’s Monastery in Sinai in Egypt, where high priests hid sacred books.”

“I don’t see how these two facts are connected,” Ceris said, always the fucking pessimist.

I stifled a groan. “Morgan thinks they are connected. Isn’t that enough?”

“Not really.”

This time I groaned. “Whatever. I’m going there.”

“Wait,” Levi said. “Do you even know the state of this library? Is it still standing?”

“No, but nothing a quick teleportation won’t solve. And even if it’s not standing, I can try to find something in the wreckage.”

Levi sighed. “I’m guessing you want to go right now?”

I crossed my arms. “The sooner, the better.”

“Can I at least convince you to go tomorrow, after we’re rested from the battle and during daylight?”

My brows shot up. “We?”

“Yes, we,” he said. “I’m coming with you.”

With her mouth agape, Ceris stood. “What?”

Levi looked at her, his expression passive. “I’m going on an important mission with my brother. Hope that we’ll find what we’re looking for.”

Ceris pressed her lips together and her cheeks grew red. With a huff, she marched out of the living room.

I had to bite my cheek not to laugh. Then I glanced at Levi; he was serious and calm. I sighed. “Thank you.”

He shrugged and returned to his book.