We had teleported to several locations before crossing the shield and suddenly appearing in the living room of the apartment in New York.

“So,” Victor asked me as soon as I was aware of my bearings. “What was that?”

I shrugged, looking down at my hands again. “I-I have no idea.” I still couldn’t believe what I had done. It had to be a trick.

Ceris stepped back and glanced at Maho. “You said it was magic.”

“It was,” he affirmed. He was seated on the couch, his clothes disheveled and a bruise on his cheek. “I’m sure of it.”

“Try doing it again.” Ceris waved her hand and a target dummy appeared on the other side of the room.

I frowned at the dummy. “Try what? I’m not even sure what happened.”

“Just do whatever you did,” Victor said.

“I don’t know what I did!”

“Just throw your hands up, aiming for the target,” Ceris instructed.

“But—”

“Do it!”

Groaning, I positioned myself in front of the dummy. I wasn’t sure what to do, but I was curious too—and frustrated. After all, I hadn’t imagined that white light coming out of my hand. It really happened. Everyone had seen it.

I exhaled, trying to clear my mind of doubt or insecurity. I imagined the dummy was Omi, the god who murdered my family. Fury filled my veins. I focused on that, on that feeling, on how it enraged me, and how I could fight a thousand battles on it.

I threw out my hands.

Nothing happened.

I straightened myself, feeling pathetic. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

“The same thing you did when you saved Levi,” Ceris said.

“I don’t know what I did!” I yelled. Frustration welled up in me. Why were they bugging me?

Keisha cleared her throat and everyone looked at her. “Maybe it happened because she was in the heat of battle.”

“Of course.” Ceris nodded. “Seeing Levi being almost killed made her desperate. She just acted without thinking.” I detected a hint of jealousy in her tone. She could calm down. I wasn’t trying to save Victor for me. I was trying to save him for the world.

“Like, her emotions pulled the magic from wherever it’s hidden,” Keisha added.

“That makes sense,” Maho said.

“If she had magic, would you be able to sense it?” Victor asked.

“Probably.”

Ceris gestured for me to sit down beside him. “Let him sense you for magic.”

“But …”

She gripped my upper arm and pushed me to the couch. If she weren’t a badass goddess, I would have shoved her away. However, I was curious.

Maho took my hands in his. “Relax and let me in.”

What did that even mean?

He closed his eyes, and I felt it. A warm surge of energy seeped through my skin, traveling up my arms and reaching my heart. It was almost like the few times I had healed Victor, but instead of coming out of me, the energy came into me. Comforting and lulling. I bet if I let myself sleep now, I wouldn’t have nightmares.

The energy traveled through my body, searching every inch of me for whatever it was looking for. Finally, it stopped in my heart and I gasped.

Maho withdrew his hands. “I can’t sense anything.”

“How is that possible?” Ceris asked, her tone irritated. “We all saw it. She used magic.”

“Perhaps it wasn’t hers. Perhaps she can redirect it?” he suggested.

“Could be,” Victor muttered, eyes on me.

They all looked at me as if I were a lab rat. I felt naked and exposed. Worst of all, I felt like a failure.

The one millisecond I allowed myself to consider the fact that maybe I had magic, something like purpose filled me. Finally. Instead of being a human with a sword who could get hurt or killed, I could actually measure up to the rest of them and help.

But no. Whatever happened was a mystery, and it looked like it was going to stay that way.

I stood. “Instead of obsessing about things we can’t control, how about we take care of Maho? He has been through a lot and needs some healing and rest.”

“Right,” Ceris said. Her posture rigid, she sat beside him.

While patching up Maho, Victor and Ceris asked him about his whereabouts for the last thirty years, how he had been caught by Edan and Nuri, and if he was willing to fight with us, to which he answered with a strong yes.

“Great.” Victor smiled. “Welcome aboard, Maho.”

After welcoming Maho to our little army, Keisha disappeared into the kitchen, saying something about making supper.

Maho then continued telling us about his adventures during the last thirty years. With Ceris’s and Victor’s attention elsewhere, I was able to slip out of the apartment and go for a walk around the building. I didn’t know why I insisted on doing that. The outside looked and smelled terrible, with debris of the destroyed city littering the streets. Before we moved in, Ceris, Victor, and Micah had opened paths through the wreckage around the building and to and from the ward-slash-shield they had put up around the place, but it still looked terrible and gruesome. There were abandoned cars, purses, shoes, jackets, and trickles of blood everywhere.

I turned my head upward, looking at the dark sky.

Before finishing the Soul Oath with Micah, I wanted to see the sun for at least a minute. I had never thought about the night sky. Now a sudden despair hit me. I also wanted to see the moon and the stars. After we won the war, would he let me spend an entire day and night alive before finishing our deal? I hoped so. It would be fulfilling to see the sun, the moon, and the stars before dying.

I sighed. If we won the war.

If we didn’t win, then it meant I died before being able to bring back my family and we all would be stuck in the underworld.

I sighed again and stopped forcing these crazy thoughts into my mind. They were better than facing the current problem, my current dilemma, because honestly, I had no idea what was going on.

I stared at my outstretched palms. “What the hell was that?” I asked myself.

It was something. We all knew that. We all saw when I shot magic out of my bare hands. But how had that happened and why? I had no idea.

A pang ran through my heart as I thought of Morgan and wished he were here. He knew so much about the creed. I bet he would know a book or two for us to look through, trying to match my abilities with someone from the creed. Or not. Why did I hope I would belong to the creed? It wasn’t important. I would die in a few weeks, months at the most. It made no difference.

However, I couldn’t shake the feeling there was more to it.

Holding on to a foreign hopeful feeling, I decided to head back to the apartment and search through the books Ceris had brought when we moved—and pretend Morgan was by my side, helping me.

* * *

After taking a refreshing shower and grabbing something to eat, I went to the dining room, which had become our meeting room.

I read through the spines of the many books around the place, grabbed a few that looked promising, spread them over the table—careful not to knock over the scented candle burning in the center—took a seat, and started to read.

The titles of the books varied from The Everlasting Circle Mythology to The Dictionary of The Everlast Creatures. Even though I hoped to find answers here, I knew it was a long shot. At least it gave me something to occupy my mind other than playing what happened repeatedly in my head, thinking about Micah, and checking the map for new deities every five seconds.

“Hey.”

After almost an hour alone and in silence, the new voice startled me. I looked up from the book I was skimming through and saw Keisha standing at the room’s entrance. “Hi.”

She glanced at all the books on the table. “What are you doing?”

I leaned back in my chair and shrugged. “Passing the time.”

She took two steps inside the room. “By?”

I sighed. “Researching. Trying to see if I can find something about what I can do. Or what I should be able to do.” I pressed my fingertips to my temples and rubbed in circles. “I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.”

She took a seat across from me. “I can help.”

I offered her a weak smile. “Thanks, but even I’m not sure what I’m looking for.”

“It’s okay. I can help anyway.” She pulled one of the books to her and flipped it open. “I’ll just do the same thing you’re doing. Look for someone with or something about your abilities.”

My abilities. Weren’t abilities things we could control? I couldn’t freaking control anything!

The shuffling of pages was the only sound for several minutes.

Until Keisha started, “So … how are you?”

I raised my gaze to her and scoffed. “Is that supposed to be funny?”

She crossed her arms over a book and leaned forward, holding my gaze. “No. How are you?”

I sighed again. It seemed my current life required a lot of sighing.

Why was I still so guarded with Keisha? She had already proved she was a good friend. I could open up to her, I knew that, but every time I thought about confiding in her, insecurity stopped me.

But here she was, willing and friendly, goading the answers out of me.

“I’m … not too good, I guess,” I confessed.

She nodded. “A lot has happened in the last few months. It’s understandable.”

A whole lot I still had no idea how to deal with. And it hurt each time I stopped and thought about it. That was why I did this. That was why I trained nonstop or found things like researching to occupy my mind. Otherwise I would break down and I wasn’t sure I could get back up this time.

“How about you?” I asked, trying to be nicer to her.

One corner of her lips tugged up. “I’m okay. I mean, I’m doing fine, but all of this is hard. We win one day, and lose another day, and … well, it’s war. I know I’m a hero and fighting is my thing, but I want peace, you know.”

I nodded. “Me too.”

“I want peace too,” said a new voice. Keisha and I looked at Ceris, standing like a Greek statue under the archway that separated the dining room from the living room. She held a tray with three mugs. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to sneak in. I just saw you two and I came to ask what you’re doing.”

Keisha and I exchanged a look. The first thought that crossed my mind was to tell Ceris it was nothing and hope she moved on. But something nagged in my chest. She had been somewhat nice to me the last few weeks—or less horrible—and even though she would never be Cheryl to me again, it would be nice to not bicker with her all the time. That started by actually reaching out, which was what she was doing now. Now it was my turn to reach out and tell her the truth. Plus, judging by the smell, she had brought coffee with her.

“Researching,” I said. “Trying to find anything about my freakish abilities in these books.”

Ceris scanned the room and the piles of books. “I’m not sure there’s any book here that will answer that, but we can certainly try.” She sat down at the head of the table, between Keisha and me, put the tray on the table, and passed each of us a steaming mug.

“Thanks,” I said, taking mine. I closed my hands around it and rejoiced in the warmth seeping into my hands. I inhaled deeply, loving the smell.

“Thank you, my lady,” Keisha said with a head nod.

Ceris pulled a book from the center of the table and opened it, seeming interested in our research.

I skimmed through three books and found nothing that matched my abilities.

“Oh my God.” I pushed the book aside and lowered my head on the table, welcoming the coolness of the smooth wood against the skin of my forehead. “The Everlasting Circle is huge. Too many deities, nymphs, and demons … so many different kinds and sizes and colors. It’s too much. I’ll never find it.”

Ceris snorted.

I lifted my head, watching her with wide eyes. Did the goddess of beauty just snort?

“What?” Ceris asked. “Can’t I be amused that after only a couple of hours of research, you’re giving up?”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not giving up. I’m just commenting how hopeless this is.”

“We’ll find something,” Keisha said, picking up a new book from the pile and pushing it across the table toward me. “If you keep going.”

I groaned, but I picked up the damned book. Before I opened it though, I turned to Ceris. “You went out yesterday to look for more allies, right?”

“Yes,” she answered, her eyes on the book she was flipping through.

“How is that going? How many allies do we have so far?”

The goddess lifted her eyes to me. “Not enough.” I thought she wouldn’t say anything else. She was our leader in this endeavor, and she could simply not want to share anything with me. Then she surprised me. “We need to find Sol, Lua, and Ronen. As much as I’m glad that I’ve found lesser gods and other deities, we need the power of the gods and goddesses of the Everlasting Circle to win this war.”

Keisha agreed as I said, “I’ve checked the map twice since we returned from Maho’s island, but what the hell.” I extended my hand to her. “I can check again.”

With a pretty wave of her hand, Ceris produced the map out of thin air and passed it to me. I unrolled the yellowed paper and leaned over it. The symbols danced and swirled and twirled around the map, but no other god’s or goddess’s symbols were fixed in one point.

“No one else so far,” I said, rolling up the map.

Ceris sighed. “We will find them. We have to.”