Rok flew in circles above my head as I stood outside the protective shield, rethinking my plan. What was wrong with me? I had nothing to rethink. Ceris, Levi, and Izaera knew where I had gone, and they expected me to come back. What they didn’t know was how long I would be gone. I hadn’t known either.

But I was here now. I was back.

I wished Morgan had come with me. I couldn’t simply restore him to life, but I could trade his soul for a new one. He refused, of course.

“I won’t let you kill an innocent to free me,” he had said.

I had told him I wouldn’t kill an innocent. I would just time it for when Imha killed an innocent. I would use his or her soul in exchange for Morgan’s. Still, he had refused.

“It won’t feel right,” he had said.

After all the crap we had been through, he chose now to do the right thing.

I took a long breath and stepped through the shield. I weaved through debris and abandoned cars for a few blocks before I reached the building. By now, the other gods would have sensed me. They would know I was coming.

It is about time, Levi’s voice invaded my mind.

I didn’t answer. I honestly still didn’t know what I would tell them about the two weeks I had searched for the Death Lords, and then the week I had been holed up in that shitty motel, feeling sorry for myself.

I signaled Rok, and he let out a sharp squawk before flying away. I opened the building’s front door, went up the stairs—I glanced at the spot where I had kissed Nadine before I left—and halted in front of the closed apartment door. I took another deep breath and reached for the knob.

The door flew open before I could even touch it.

“What took you so long?” Ceris asked, her eyes accusing, her tone harsh.

“Let him in,” Levi said from somewhere behind her.

With a grunt, Ceris stepped aside and I entered the apartment. Instantly, I looked toward the gym room, expecting to see Nadine sparing with Keisha, but no one was there.

Energy hit me, and I realized there was a new deity here. “Maho,” I said, but I didn’t see him. “Maho is here.”

“He’s in the back room, resting,” Levi said. He was standing by the window, looking at the “beautiful” view outside.

I stood my ground in the middle of the living room and crossed my arms. “How did you find him?”

Standing behind the couch that was placed between Levi and me, Ceris tsked. “You answer our questions first. What took you so long?”

I looked around. Nadine wasn’t in the living room, the dining room, or the kitchen. I could sense her aura if I wanted to, but I avoided doing that. It felt like invading her privacy, and if she knew, she would hate me more.

I sighed, letting my arms droop down beside me. “I failed.”

I told them everything. About the island, Nasya, the Cup of Life, and the Death Lords. I also told them I had been searching for the Death Lords all this time, but I didn’t tell them about the deal with the Death Lords. I didn’t tell them about the black tendrils of poison spidering across my chest, and I certainly didn’t tell them about the Black Thorn in my pocket.

Levi leaned against the windowsill. “You knew it was a long shot.”

Yes, I did. But I was also hopeful, especially after passing Nasya’s tests.

“I’m sorry,” Ceris said.

I stared at her. Wow. Her tone, her expression. She actually meant it. “Me too,” I admitted.

“What are you going to do now?” Levi asked.

I shrugged. “What we were doing before. Find allies, fight Imha and Omi. What else can I do?” I frowned. “I don’t feel Izaera and Zelen.”

“They have been out, looking for allies,” Ceris said.

“And Maho?”

“Nadine found him,” Levi said.

That was a nice surprise. “What? How?”

“She had the idea to use the map to find them, the same way she found our scepters,” Levi explained. His tone held a hint of pride. “She has only found Maho so far, but we’re hopeful she’ll pinpoint all the gods and lesser gods.”

“That would be a great help.”

Levi nodded. “It would.”

“That’s not all,” Ceris said. “Yesterday, when we arrived on the island in Thailand to get Maho, Edan and Nuri were there. They had Maho imprisoned. We fought them, but they managed to pin down Levi. Nuri had a Black Thorn.”

Fuck. I looked over at Levi. He seemed well, though. “And?”

“Nadine saved me.” Levi smiled. “Again.”

“Wait. How?”

“She used magic,” Ceris said.

I gaped. “Magic?”

“Yes. She lunged at Nuri and it looked like she was going to use her sword, but then magic shot from her hand. She knocked them all out. Literally. Edan and Nuri and the nymphs were all unconscious after her magic hit them.”

“So … she has powers?”

That was certainly an unexpected development. A good unexpected development. With magic, Nadine would be able to defend herself better during battles—which always worried me. Half of my mind was always on her, concerned she would get seriously injured during a fight. I tried not to worry because I knew it pissed her off, but when I could, I butted in and saved the day. It was my way to ensure she would be okay.

Ceris tsked. “Well, apparently she doesn’t. Maho couldn’t sense any power in her after we came back.”

“He suggested she redirected power from us somehow,” Levi said.

I frowned. “I didn’t even know that was possible.”

“We’re not sure it is, but whatever it was, it was powerful.”

“What was powerful?” Nadine’s voice echoed from the hallway. She stopped by the archway and my breath caught. She wore jeans and a tank top that hugged her perfect body. She had a hand towel around her shoulders, and she ran her fingers through her long, wet hair. Barefoot, she looked casual and relaxed—until her gaze found mine. Her face paled and her beautiful green eyes went wide.

Fuck. I thought I had been prepared to see her again, but the force of the longing that rippled through me almost brought me to my knees. It was all I could do not to run to her, take her in my arms, inhale her delicious scent, and hold her close.

I cleared my throat. “Levi and Ceris were telling me what happened when you all were rescuing Maho.”

She nodded and averted her eyes. Without another word or glance in my direction, she marched to the kitchen.

“Her mood hasn’t been the best,” Ceris said once Nadine had closed the kitchen’s door. I nodded, knowing all too well I was partly responsible for her bad mood. “I’ll go talk to her.”

Ceris joined Nadine in the kitchen and I exhaled. This wouldn’t be easy.

“I’m really sorry about the Cup of Life,” Levi said. “I wish there was something I could do to help.”

I snorted. If only he knew. “Unless you know where the Death Lords are hiding, there’s nothing anyone could do.”

A knot creased Levi’s forehead. “Wait. What if we found them?”

“I’ve been trying for the last three weeks.”

“I know, I know, but two heads are better than one. Perhaps you didn’t look for them in the right place.”

“And where could they be?”

“I don’t know, but I’ll brainstorm.” He took a step forward and clasped my shoulder with a strong grip. “I don’t want to feed you false hope, but I don’t want to see you give up yet.”

I wasn’t sure I could handle more crushed hope, but there was nothing else in the world I would like more. Even the war and the restoration of the balance seemed like trivial things when compared to losing Nadine.

Because I would lose her. Even if she died and went to the underworld and I summoned her like I had done to Morgan, she wouldn’t be the same. She would be dead, trapped in my underworld, and Nadine deserved more than that. She deserved to live, to smile and laugh, to sing, to see the sun rising and setting.

I closed that part of my mind and heart before hope took hold of me. I couldn’t let myself hope. Not anymore.

With every ounce of strength I had, I said, “We have more important things to take care of.”