Chapter Twelve

Jacob

 

I had to talk to Lia. I sat opposite Tara in the pizza parlor and tried to listen to what she was saying, but I kept thinking about Lia.

About the hurt in her eyes.

Just thinking about that cut me, and I wished I’d said something to her then. Given her some indication that it wasn’t how it looked. It wasn’t happy families just because Tara had spent six months in rehab. It wasn’t happy families at all.

Because, for one, I didn’t trust my crazy ex-wife.

And two, I suspected I was falling in love with Lia.

“Daddy, you aren’t eating your pizza.”

I glanced down at the untouched pizza on my plate. I was too busy thinking about Lia. I had no appetite. “Not hungry, chicken.”

“Can I have it?” Montana asked.

I pushed the plate over to her. “Knock yourself out.”

Tara was watching me. “You are thinking about that teacher.”

My head snapped up. “What?”

She laughed. “I know you too well, Jacob. I probably know you better than you know yourself, but I saw the way you were looking at her. And I saw the way she was looking at you.”

I glanced at Ava and Montana. They didn’t appear to be listening, but I had a feeling Montana pretended not to hear these days. She was growing up too quick.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She shook her head. “Don’t be an ass, Jacob. And don’t be an ass to her, either. You need to go over there and tell that girl how you feel. You need to tell her there is nothing between us, because she thinks there is.”

I frowned. I’d told Lia about Tara, pretty much told her everything, so she must know how I felt about her. I mean, it was great to see her sober, it was great that she’d been clean for six months, but that didn’t mean I trusted her. And it didn’t mean I was in love with her either. Too much had gone down between us, and too much had happened for us to ever rekindle anything.

Tara knew that. I knew that. But did Lia?

I’d seen the hurt in her eyes. She didn’t know.

“I can watch the girls.”

I glared at her. “No.”

Tara flinched a little but didn’t argue. “Do they know? About the tea—”

“No. No one knows.”

She cocked her head and considered me. “Why?”

“Why?”

“Yeah. Why such a big secret?”

“She’s Ava teacher,” I stated, dropping my voice to a hushed whisper so the girls wouldn’t hear. They were busy watching a YouTube video, though, to pay attention. “She has a reputation to uphold.”

Tara laughed. “This is not the nineteenth century, Jacob. Teachers are allowed to date.”

“Yeah, but not people like—” I stopped.

She stared at me. “People like you?”

I looked away. I hadn’t meant to say that. It sounded like I was down on myself, ashamed of who I was and what I did, which couldn’t be further from the truth. I was damn proud of myself, of my girls, of the father I was. I was even proud of the son I’d become, looking after my mother when that woman had never lifted a finger to look after me.

“You’re a good man, Jacob. Any woman would be proud to be your girl.”

“You don’t know—”

“That girl”—she pursed her lips—“that teacher would be proud to be your girl. I saw it. She’s in love with you.”

I snorted although a flutter of hope cut deep in my gut. “You don’t know.”

“I know love. I know how you look when you’re in love.”

“Tara…”

“You need to go to her and tell her.”

I stared at Tara. She was right.

I needed to tell Lia how I felt. And I needed to tell her right now.

****

“Jacob.”

“She’s been in rehab. She’s clean. She’s been clean for a while.”

Lia blinked at me, seeming to take a moment to process the words which tumbled from my mouth.

Then she stepped back, opening the door wider for me to come in.

I followed her and she closed the door behind me. I could smell her. She smelled like strawberries and I wanted to lick her from head to toe she smelled so fucking delicious.

“I wanted you to know,” I said. “I should’ve explained earlier. I should have called.”

“You were busy.”

“I should have called you the minute I knew Tara was back in town,” I repeated. “I’m sorry.”

She stared at me. The hurt was still there in her eyes but it was tempered a little now.

“I didn’t realize,” I began again. “I thought we were just fooling around. I thought this was just casual sex.”

Lia looked as if I’d slapped her, flinching back, her face coloring at my words. “Oh.”

I swore under my breath. I was not doing this right. “I mean, I thought that was what you wanted. Casual sex. And at first that was what I wanted. Sex. With you.”

“Jacob,” she said patiently, “why are you here?”

“I’m here because I wanted to tell you that I’m in love with you,” I said in a rush. “That I think about you all the fucking time, that I can’t seem to get enough of you, and that I’ve never felt this way about anyone. Ever.”

She blinked. “Oh.”

“And I should’ve said it earlier, only I’ve been telling myself that this wasn’t serious. That I wasn’t serious because I knew…”

“You knew?” she prompted.

“Because I knew I wasn’t good enough for you.”

“Jacob…”

“Let me finish. This town is small, Lia. And they talk. I didn’t want them to talk about you. I didn’t want them talk about you the way they talk about Tara. I didn’t want them to even think of you like they think about Tara, but I knew they would. And you deserve better than that. You deserve better than a guy who works part-time in a tattoo studio, who lives in a shitty house on the outskirts of town, who has not only two kids but a sick mother to look after, plus a sober-for-now ex-wife. You deserve something simple and uncomplicated and … not me.”

Two spots appeared on her cheeks as she stared at me, her mouth falling open slightly. Otherwise she was quiet.

“And I thought you were knew that. I thought you knew you were too good for me. But I saw you today. You looked hurt.”

“I was hurt.”

“And I hated that I hurt you,” I pushed on. “Hated that. I should’ve said something then, but I didn’t want to force you to go public—with me.”

“Jacob, I thought you were ashamed of me.”

My head snapped up. “What?” That didn’t make any sense. Why would I be ashamed of Lia? She was fucking beautiful, sexy, adorable, smart, funny, clever. She was in a whole different league than me.

“I thought I wasn’t cool enough,” she explained. “I thought you wanted to keep me a secret from your girls.”

“I want my girls to know.” I frowned. “I think my girls do know.”

She laughed and my heart swelled at the sound. “Did you say,” she began, “that you loved me?”

I moved closer so my chest was flush with hers. She tilted her head back to look at me. “I did.”

She smiled and my heart did a million cartwheels in my chest. I was taken back to that moment weeks ago, when I first saw her in the bar. I’d wanted to make her smile then, too. I just hadn’t realized where that journey would take me.

“Does it scare you?” I asked. “Having me in love with you?”

She shook her head. “No. It makes me happy. So fucking happy because I feel the same. I love you, too, Jacob.”

Now my heart was doing somersaults. I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers, sliding my mouth over hers and kissing her more passionately than I’d ever kissed anyone. She responded, as I knew she would, matching my passion with her own.

When I pulled back and gazed down at her, I felt so fucking happy I wanted to punch a hole in the wall.

“It won’t be easy dating someone like me,” I told her.

“I don’t care.”

“I come with baggage. A shitbag full of baggage.”

“I don’t care.”

“I have no money.”

“I have my own money. I don’t need yours.”

“I have a sick mom.”

“I’d like to meet her. Tell her how amazing her son is. Tell her she did a wonderful job.”

I snorted. Yeah. Right.

“I have two daughters.”

“Whom I already adore.”

“You want to see them?” I asked.

Her eyes went wide. “Yes.”

“You hungry?”

“Starving.”

I looped my fingers into hers. “Come on. We’ll get some pizza. There are two girls there who I can’t wait to introduce you to.”

And I pulled Lia into my world.

 

The End