Six
Killian
“Still can’t believe you’re passing this up.”
Ryder’s voice rakes against my nerves as we push out of the classroom and squint into the sun. He pops on his vintage black Ray-Bans, looking like some Sex Pistols throwback as we make our way across campus to the café.
“I haven’t decided anything yet.” Actually, I have. It’s been almost two weeks since Cam made me the offer. A tiny voice whispers I’m making a mistake by passing this opportunity up, but that voice shuts the hell up every time I see Axelle.
“You know how rare this is, man? You’re twenty-one-years old, and you’ll be representing the UFL USA over there.” He shakes his head. “You’re a dumb ass if you don’t jump on this.”
“But it’s a year overseas.” I hook my backpack straps with my thumbs and weave through the crowds of co-eds lingering between classes. “I’ve got school and…” I slam my lips shut. “I’ll get where I want to be another way. It’s not like this’ll make or break my career.”
Ryder stops and his sudden freeze makes me do the same.
“What?”
His eyes narrow. “You’re passing this up for her, aren’t you?”
Fuck yes. “No, I’m passing it up because I have a plan. Finish college, get my first fight, and once I graduate I’ll be able to do—”
“You’re a fuckin’ liar.” He chuckles and continues to walk. “Can’t believe you’re gonna pass this up for a chick. I’d say you deserve to lose your balls for that, but my guess is you handed those over to her a long time ago.”
I have no defense or desire to continue this conversation. I focus on the quad, which is bustling with people who’re grabbing food between classes.
We spot Theo at a table and head over to say hi. My eyes scan the area for Axelle. She’s usually here by now, but I don’t see her.
“What’s up?” Ryder drops down to sit next to one of the two girls Theo’s entertaining.
“Oh, hey.” One of the girls leans around Theo to study me. “I know you.”
I peer down at her. She’s good-looking and has bright red hair that falls over her shoulders in waves and a few perfectly placed freckles across her pale cheeks. “Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah, we had Econ together last year.” She lifts her strawberry blond brow. “Dr. Farlow, remember?”
“That’s right.” She looks vaguely familiar, but we never spoke. “How’d you do in that class?”
“B plus. You?”
“A.”
She smiles sweetly. “Nice.”
“Killian’s never gotten a B in his life,” Theo pipes up from across the table. “He’s got a 158 IQ.”
Her eyebrows pop up to her hairline. “Is that true?”
A flash of warmth hits my cheeks.
“Fuck yeah, it’s true,” Ryder answers. “Too bad his decision-making is less than genius.”
I glare at the guy, grateful no one at the table asks questions about his verbal jab.
“So, are we going out for Valentine’s Day or what?” Theo asks the brunette who’s been staring at him adoringly.
“Depends.” She flips her hair in that way girls do. “Are you going to actually take me out, or is this like the last date you took me on where we hung out on your couch?”
Whatever good mood I’d managed to find fizzles at the mention of Valentine’s Day. It’s been a bummer holiday since the night Axelle’s dad reappeared in her life only to crush her to pieces.
After that, we’ve always spent the holiday together. It’s never romantic. We pass the time by going to the movies, grabbing something to eat, or these last two years we’ve spent watching Jack so Blake could take Layla out. It’s not their favorite holiday either, and between the four of us, we’re like the Cupid Killing Squad, all trying desperately to normalize a day that has left us with memories that are far from pleasant.
“…come with us, Killian.”
I shake my thoughts at the sound of the redhead saying my name. “Yeah?”
“Oh yay! It’s settled then.” She motions to Ry and Theo. “The three of us, so it’ll be, what, a triple date!”
Oh shit. “Wait, for Valentine’s Day? I can’t—”
Ryder slaps me on the shoulder. “Of course he can.”
I glare at him and he manages to smile wickedly. Fuckface.
“Great!” The redhead scribbles something on a piece of paper and rips it off, handing it to me. “Here’s my phone number.”
Ryder snags the paper from her since I make zero attempt to take it. I am not taking this girl out for Valentine’s Day.
She stands up and her friend follows her lead. “We have to go, but keep in touch and we’ll work out the details.” She flashes another sweet smile and then walks off with a confident sway in her hips.
Theo jumps up too. “Hillary, wait up.” He chases after the brunette.
I swivel around to glare at Ry. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
“Helping you to move on.” He chuckles and takes a swig of Red Bull. “It’s one night, bro.” He tosses me the scrap of paper.
I take it and look at the girly swirl numbers of her phone number. “I don’t even know her name.”
“Really? You guys had a class together.” He shakes his head. “Her name is Brynn. For a genius, you’re really fucking stupid.”
“Look. I’m not going.” I toss the scrap of paper back at him.
Ryder’s eyebrows pop above his sunglasses. “You got something better to do?”
He knows Axelle and I spend Valentine’s Day together every year, so I don’t answer.
He leans in. “Don’t worry, Kill. Something tells me her plans are already made anyway, and…” He nods to a spot just over my shoulder. “My guess is they don’t include you.”
I spin around, and all the air is sucked from my lungs. Axelle’s across the way and sandwiched between a tree trunk and Clifford. His head is tilted and his tongue’s down her throat. I cringe but can’t look away.
“You sure you want to give everything up for her, man? ’Cause from where I’m sitting I don’t think you’re even on her radar.”
Clifford gropes her body, his hands sliding around her waist to grab two fistfuls of her ass. I rip my gaze away and stare blindly at the café.
“Axelle’s a cool chick. Seriously, I wish things were different. But it’s time you start seeing things that’re right in front of your face.”
Fuck. I push up from the table, ignoring him. “I’m getting some lunch. See ya later.”
~*~
Axelle
Clifford didn’t wait the two weeks I was supposed to abstain from kissing. He swore he couldn’t help himself. It’s to the point now where I hardly get two words out before he attacks my mouth. I thought this was the reaction I wanted, but now I’m not so sure.
He tastes like cigarettes and coffee, and as gross as that should be, it’s not. My first kiss was a rocker kid who was three years older than me. I was thirteen, but in his defense, I looked a lot older. Despite his rough exterior, he was really tender, and his mouth tasted like an ashtray. For me, he set the standard for every kiss that followed.
And other than the smoky taste, Clifford’s have yet to meet the expectation.
I mean the fact that I’m even thinking about that first kiss while Clifford’s tongue flicks at my barbell is proof positive his kiss is less than earth-shattering.
I press my palms against his chest until he breaks away. He’s breathing heavy and his eyes roar with lust. “What…what’s wrong?”
Sidestepping to get out from between him and the tree at my back, I tuck hair behind my ear and grin. “You know how I feel about PDA.”
With one arm, he braces his weight on the trunk, tilting his head to study me. “That piercing makes me crazy.”
My cheeks heat and my heart flutters at his approval. “I can tell.”
“Can’t keep my hands off you.” He chuckles. “Hope I didn’t fuck up the healing process.”
“Nope. I’m a good healer. I think it’s okay.” Something pulls my attention, and I look over to see Killian headed into the café.
He unknowingly snags the eyes of practically every girl he passes. Even the guys he passes seem to puff out their chests in a silent defense of their manhood. And honestly who could blame them? He’s tall, wears clothes that fit him too well, and his body is sculpted to perfection, but that’s not even his most attractive quality. It’s his humility. He has absolutely zero idea of the effect he has on people.
“You hungry, babe?” Clifford’s voice calls me away from watching my friend in all his gloriousness.
“Yeah, do you have time to grab a bite?”
He checks his phone. “No, but I’ll walk you down there before I head to class.”
I pick up my backpack off the grass, and he throws his arm over my shoulder, making me melt into him.
God, I’m the worst girlfriend…er…hookup girl ever. In the time I’ve been with him, I’ve been thinking of two other guys. Clifford is far from ugly. His light brown hair is skillfully cut in an emo shag, He’s slender, not super skinny, but his muscles are longer. Lean. Not like Kill’s bulging physique. He’s tall, close to six feet, and he dresses like he belongs in a band: small shirts, tight jeans, spiked belt and a wallet attached to a chain.
We head into the café, and even over the crowd, Killian’s gaze immediately tangles with mine. He flashes a small smile that dissolves the second Clifford spots him.
“Killian, what’s up, man?” Clifford pulls me closer to his side.
Kill’s eyes dart between us and then settle on him. “Nothing much. You guys grabbing lunch?”
“I am. Clifford has to go to class.”
Killian’s eyes stay on me.
“I have class all the way across campus, so I better go.”
I rip my gaze from Killian and peer up at Clifford. “Okay, you sure you don’t want to grab a coffee or something for the road?”
The side of his mouth lifts and he leans in close. “Oh, yeah, I’ll definitely be taking something for the road.”
Before I have a chance to turn away, his tongue is in my mouth, flicking like a snake against my piercing. I pull my head back, but he locks me to him with his forearm at the back of my neck. I squeeze my eyes closed and consider taking this stupid thing out if it continues to bring on Clifford’s probing kiss every time I open my mouth.
He finally pulls away and again he’s breathless. Huh…why don’t his kisses do the same for me? I don’t feel anything. Hell, I may as well be watching Cars for the six millionth time with my brother as it has the same dulling effect.
I pretend to swipe at the messed-up lip gloss I’m not wearing, when really I’m clearing the wetness of his mouth from my upper lip. “Okay, well, I guess I’ll talk to you later.”
He nods to Killian, and for some stupid reason, I can’t even look at my friend because I’m terrified to face the disappointment I know I’ll see in his expression.
“Yeah, tonight.” He squeezes my ass, and I resist the urge to glare. “You’re coming over, right?”
“Yes.” Most likely to watch him play X-box, but it’s better than being alone.
“Later.” He spins on his black Converse high top and is gone.
“I’m sorry about that,” I whisper and reach into my backpack to fish out some money. “I told him I’m not into PDA, but he’s not a very good listener.” I laugh uncomfortably and fumble with a few dollars, still avoiding Killian’s eyes. “It’s awkward and I don’t know…” Why isn’t he talking? Did he walk away and I’ve been here talking to myself?
I risk a glance and immediately regret it. His dark eyebrows are set low, and he’s gripping a water bottle so tight the thin plastic caves beneath the pads of his fingers.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
I don’t even know why, but it had to be said.
He blinks a few times and then sucks in a shaky breath. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
I don’t. But then…why do I feel like I do? I’d hate to see Killian kissing his girlfriend, if he ever had one. I mean I wouldn’t hate it, but it’s always awkward seeing people make out.
I lick my lips and shift on my feet, vacillating between doing the moonwalk or giving myself a wedgie just to erase the unease in his eyes.
“You getting something to eat?” He nods to the money in my hand.
“Yeah.”
“I’ll grab a table.” He moves past me without waiting for my answer.
Not that I would’ve said no. And he knows my schedule well enough to know I have thirty minutes before my next class.
I grab a premade turkey sandwich and a grape Powerade Zero then meet Killian outside where he’s sitting at a table that’s half shade half sun. I grin and shuffle over to him, dropping my stuff on the table just as he takes a bite of his sandwich.
He chews then motions to the other chair. “If you sit there, you’ll get both.”
I gauge the sun and shade then agree and move my things to the chair closest to him. “You think I’m weird that I like to sit half in the sun, don’t you?”
He takes a pull off his water bottle. “You’ve always been like that.”
“Right.” I unwrap my sandwich. “Always weird.”
For the first time since I walked into the café, he grins. “Maybe a little.”
“I knew it.” I take a bite of my food and smile right back at him. Being with him is always so easy.
“But it’s not the sun-shade thing that makes you weird. It’s the air-conditioning thing.”
I roll my eyes.
“You know blasting the cold air in your car with the windows down kinda defeats the purpose.”
“I disagree. It’s air conditioning. I’m conditioning the air around me, so if it’s cold outside, I like to feel the brisk air on my face, but I don’t like being cold so—”
“You turn on the heat.”
I shrug. “Right. And vice versa.”
“Weird,” he mumbles before taking another bite of his food.
“So how’s work?”
He frowns. “Why?”
“What do you mean why? I’m catching up on your life, making conversation. You know, the thing friends do when they hang out.”
He blinks then goes back to focusing on his sandwich. “It’s good.”
“That’s it? Just good?”
“Great… I guess.” Finished with his food, he balls up his trash and moves it to the edge of the table. “You never did tell me how your mom took the piercing.”
“Good enough, I mean she kinda freaked at first, but then once it sunk in she was cool. It took a little longer for Blake to come to terms with it.”
“Yeah, I know.”
My eyes dart to his. “What…did he…oh my God, Kill, did he give you shit about it?”
He shrugs one shoulder and drops back into his seat. “Nothing I couldn’t handle.”
I bury my face into my hands, completely humiliated. “Oh God, that’s so embarrassing. I’m sorry.”
“Like I said, I handled it.”
“I didn’t mean to tell him you were there. It just slipped out, and then he went off about why you didn’t stop me, and I said it’s none of his fucking business—”
“You said that?” His eyebrows rise and a hint of a grin ticks his lips.
“Not exactly, but basically.”
His grin widens, and a deep chuckle filters from his lips. “I was gonna say I would’ve paid to have been there when you told Blake it’s none of his fucking business.”
I laugh and agree. That would not have gone over well.
He smiles sadly. “From the looks of it, I guess Cliff approves.”
I study him and a tension strings tight between us, as if a million unspoken words hover in the space between our lips. Mesmerized by the depth of his stare, I’m incapable of looking away.
“Yes,” I whisper.
He nods and breaks eye contact. “That’s good, Ax. I’m… I’m happy for you.”
An odd feeling comes over me at those words, because I’m always desperate for his approval, but for the first time, in this case, I don’t want it.