Nine
Killian
No sooner does the door from my last class close behind me than I hear someone call my name. I turn to see Brynn wave and speed-walk toward me.
She’s a tiny thing, can’t be more than five-foot-two, which puts me a whole foot taller. Her pale green shirt sets off her red hair and hangs loose over a pair of tight jeans. Without sunglasses, I can see her eyes are almost the same color as her shirt.
“Sorry to bug you.” Looking up at me, she squints into the sun. “Do you have a sec?”
“Sure, what’s up?”
She chews her lip and her eyes shift off mine. “You haven’t called.”
I’m an ass. “Right, uh, about that—”
“It’s okay. It’s just… I started thinking about the way we kinda roped you into the whole triple-date thing, and I wanted you to know that if you don’t want to do this you’re totally off the hook.” Her bright eyes peer up at me, and if I’m not mistaken, I see hope reflected there.
“That’s alright, I’m, um…” This is good. I need to just do it. It’s only one date. “I’m happy to go.”
Her eyebrows pop. “Really?”
I chuckle at her shock. “Well, yeah, of course.”
She exhales and grins. “Okay, great. So I guess I’ll just wait for your call?”
“I’ll call you tonight, if that’s okay.”
“Yes, that’s fine.”
I point over my shoulder at no one. “I’ll talk to Ryder and Theo, figure out what the plan is first.”
She nods vigorously.
“Hey, Kill.” Axelle comes up next to me, grinning. “You ready?”
Brynn’s excitement drains from her face. A flash of irritation fires within me, and it’s aimed at Axelle, which makes no sense.
Axelle’s eyes move between Brynn and me. “Oh, I’m sorry. Did I interrupt?” She sounds genuinely apologetic.
I clear my throat. “Brynn, this is my friend Axelle.”
“Nice to meet you,” Brynn says politely with a hint of relief in her voice.
“Nice to meet you too.” Axelle swings her gaze to mine. “I can grab a table if you guys aren’t finished.”
Brynn steps back. “Oh, no—”
“That’d be great.” I step closer to Brynn. “I’ll be there in a minute.”
Axelle’s eyes flash with hurt, but she shakes it off and aims a polite smile at the girl. “It was nice to meet you, Brynn.” She doesn’t even look at me and heads toward the café.
Brynn rolls her lips between her teeth, and rather than continue to stand in the awkward silence, I push through it.
“So it’s decided. I’ll talk to the guys and call you tonight, only”—I rub the back of my neck—“could I get your number one more time?”
She lifts a speculative brow. “You lost it.”
More like I never took it. “I did.” I take my phone from my pocket and pull up my contacts. “Here.” She enters all her info, and when she’s done, I fire off a quick text to her. “And now you have mine.”
“Okay, so, I look forward to your call.”
“Right, yeah.” Before I can think too hard about it, I reach over, hook her behind the neck, and pull her to my chest for a hug. God, the top of her head comes to my nipple, and as good as her female curves feel against me, she doesn’t have the same fit I have with Axelle.
I drop my hand and step away. “Talk to you tonight.”
Her cheeks flush pink and she takes off to class. I turn to watch her melt into the crowd, my gaze tracking her tiny hips and tight little body, and feeling not even a hint of the zip I feel just being near Axelle.
I turn away, grinning at what a hopeless wreck I am, and catch Axelle staring right at me from across the quad, her jaw clenched.
Yeah, how does it feel, sweetheart?
And although I shouldn’t, I feel absolutely sick to my stomach.
~*~
Axelle
Oh, no, here he comes. Act cool, unaffected, nonchalant—dammit, who is that girl?
As long as I’ve known Killian, I’ve never seen him act that friendly with another girl before. And that girl, Brynn, is just as adorable as her sweet little name.
I clear my throat and take a bite of my sandwich just as he makes it to our table and drops into the seat across from me. He’s wearing a yellow T-shirt that brings out the gold flecks in his eyes. I force my gaze away to avoid getting lost in them and read the words The Book Was Better scrolled across his broad masculine chest. I consider telling him he needs to start buying bigger clothes when—why is he smirking?
“Why aren’t you eating?” Girl problems rob you of your appetite?
“I ate a protein bar in class.” His phone chimes, and when he reads it, he grins before texting back and tucking it back into his pocket. “I keep meaning to ask you if you ever heard back from your dad.”
From one uncomfortable thought to the next. Thanks, Kill.
“No, not yet.” I pick at the crust on my sandwich, my stomach rejecting the little I’ve already eaten. “It’s cool. He has a new girlfriend, and she has kids, so I’m sure he’s busy with them.”
All humor dissolves from his expression. “How long has it been?”
I have no interest in sharing with Killian how pathetic it is that my own biological dad, who made huge attempts to contact me, has now decided, after getting to know me a little bit, that he want’s nothing to do with me, so I lie. “Not long.” Three months.
“Hmm.” He squints out at the clusters of college students, but doesn’t seem to be actually looking at anything.
Time for a subject change. “Have you talked to your mom recently?” It’s a shitty thing to do, flipping the subject from my absent parent to his. Last time he accepted a call from his mom, that I’m aware of, was over the summer, and when he got off the phone, he seemed smaller. She’s always been horrible for his self-esteem, telling him he’s not good enough, which is part of the reason I think he tries so hard to be the best at everything: the endless search for her approval that will most likely never come.
He flicks at something on the table and shakes his head. “No.”
I drop my chin, hating the vibe that’s forming between us. “Hey, Kill? I hope you know I—”
“Hey, babe.” Clifford pulls out the chair between Killian and me with a loud scrape against the concrete.
Killian leans back in his chair and wipes the concerned look he was wearing clean off his face. Clifford looks between us and shrugs. “What did I interrupt?” He reaches out and grabs my hand.
Killian pins Clifford’s hand on mine with a glare, and the ache I felt when he was with Brynn earlier comes back. He doesn’t like seeing me with a guy any more than I like seeing him with a girl, and for two best friends, how fucked up is that?
I slide my hand free and put it to use by taking a bite of my sandwich, which smells off. Gamey or something, maybe it’s expired. “Yeah, we were just talking about my dad.”
“Does he have a fight coming up or something?” Clifford lights a cigarette, and while he’s busy doing that, Killian and I share a glance.
Clifford doesn’t know about my biological father Trip or my asshole ex-stepdad Stewart. All he knows is Blake “The Snake” Daniels is my adopted, and for all intents and purposes my only, Dad.
“Yeah, I think he does.”
“Sweet, let me know when so I can get some money on it.”
Killian blows out an annoyed breath that Clifford doesn’t seem to pick up on.
He takes a long pull from his cigarette. making no attempt to divert the exhale of smoke and it billows directly into our faces. “You have plans for Valentine’s Day, Killian?”
I fan away the fumes and stare at my friend, more interested in his answer than I bet Clifford is.
Killian’s gaze stays on mine and he nods. “I do.”
It’s like a kick to the chest, but I push through the unwarranted pain and smile. “With Brynn?”
He grins shyly and nods.
I know that smile. He likes her. God, why does that hurt so bad?
“Nice, well if you’re interested, we’re having a Fuck V-day party at my place that night.”
I jerk my head to Clifford. “What? I thought we were—”
“Oh, we’re going out first, but afterward we’re having a party.” He must see the disappointment on my face because his expression grows soft. “Hey, don’t worry. You’ll love what I have planned.”
The last thing I want to do on the anniversary of that day is be stuck at an obnoxious party with Clifford’s stupid friends.
Killian’s eyes communicate so much as he stares across the table at me: sadness, sympathy, and maybe some regret.
“Listen, I, uh…” I wad up my trash and grab my backpack. “I’m going to skip my next class and head home for a bit. I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, and I’m feeling pretty crappy.”
“Sounds good, babe.”
Killian pushes up from his seat. “I’ll walk you to your car.”
“Dude.” Clifford stands too, blowing noxious smoke between the three of us. “You act like she’s walking around without a burka in Afghanistan. I think she can get to her car okay without an escort.”
Killian doesn’t acknowledge Clifford’s lame territorial display and takes my trash to the can for me. He grabs my backpack like we’re some old couple that has been taking care of each other for the last fifty years, and as much as I wish I could tell him to give it back and I can carry it myself, I don’t.
I step up to Clifford to give him a hug good-bye, but he dips down for a kiss. I turn my head and his smoky lips press against my cheek. “No kiss, huh?”
Is he fucking serious? “I told you I don’t feel good.”
“Alright, alright.” He throws his arms up. “Whatever.”
I turn to Killian, who’s waiting patiently but scowling hard at Clifford. As soon as we’re out of earshot, he mutters, “That guy is such an ass.”
For the first time today, a genuine smile pulls at my lips.
Killian walks me to my car, throws my backpack in the back, and makes me promise I’ll text him as soon as I get home so he knows I’m safe.
Always taking such good care of me.
What would I ever do without him?
Maybe that’s what I was feeling earlier when I saw him with Brynn. If he dated someone else, I’d lose him. After all, how many girls would put up with how close we are? The occasional sleepover, him dragging me out of parties drunk, leaving to walk me to my car because I’m sick, no girl would be okay with that.
I swallow back bile as it rushes up to my throat.
I can’t lose him to someone else.
But I can’t allow him to pass up on a chance at happiness with someone else either.