“MICAH!” DANI SNAPS HER FINGERS in front of my face, forcing my attention on her and off the kitchen counter I’d been staring at. “Are you listening to me?”
“What?” I ask, turning to look at her.
A look of disappointment flashes across Dani’s beautiful face and I want to kick myself in the nuts for hurting her. I have a lot on my plate today and I’m not even sure I’ll be able to get everything done, but I need to with Thanksgiving later this week. And that’s not an excuse to ignore her.
The guilt that’s been slowly creeping in grows. I even had to call my mama again yesterday and tell her we wouldn’t be at Sunday dinner. This shit won’t fly for long, but I’m hoping everybody can hang in there just a little longer.
“Oh, baby, I’m sorry,” I groan, running a hand down my face. “I was zoned out, thinking about my schedule today. What were you saying?”
“Here, maybe this will help wake you up.” She slides a mug in front of me and my mouth waters instantly. The aroma of my favorite dark roast mixed with a shot of chicory is exactly what I need right now. The only way it could be improved would be to inject it straight into my veins, but drinking from a cup will have to do for now.
Dani waits for me to take my first sip, watching as my face visibly relaxes and my mental cobwebs clear. Once she’s sure she has my undivided attention, she begins to speak again.
“I was just reminding you that I’ll be out of town on assignment most of the week so, if you have a lot to do in New Orleans, you should get a hotel. I worry about you driving back and forth so much, especially late at night when you’re so exhausted.”
She places her hand on top of mine and I raise it to my mouth and kiss it. Her skin is so soft and she smells like apple pie. So much so, I want to take her back to bed and devour her, but I know we don’t have time.
Stupid adulting.
“I know you worry and if today’s meetings run too long, I’ll stay at a hotel,” I promise her. “Alex has offered her couch to me a few times, but I—”
I don’t even get the rest of my sentence out before Dani whips her head around and gives me a death glare. Jaw jutted forward, lips pursed, and eyes narrowed . . . scary as hell.
“Micah Paul Landry, I swear—”
“I told her no, Dani. Every time she’s asked or brought it up, I’ve told her no, I promise.”
Dani sighs, relaxing her glare. “I hate being a bitchy girlfriend, and I know you’re a grown man who can do whatever he wants, but you know how I feel about her.”
I walk around the kitchen counter to where Dani is standing and I wrap my arms around her waist. “I know, Dani. You can trust me.”
“I do trust you. She’s the one I don’t trust.”
I tilt her head up with my finger under her chin and look into her eyes. “Don’t worry about Alex; I can handle her. You’re the one I love, the only woman I want to be with.” We kiss and what starts out gentle and sweet soon changes to needy and demanding. Dani’s hands find my belt and zipper and soon my pants are down around my ankles. I know I thought we didn’t have time to fool around this morning but I can tell Dani is needing some reassurance and I’ll take all the time in the world to give her what she needs. Truth be told, I need my girl. I need to feel her. I always need her.
“Hop up here, baby. Let me take care of you.” I help her on top of the kitchen island and reach under her skirt to pull her panties off. Dani has been wearing cute, little dresses more, now that she’s back in the south and it makes moments like these very quick and easy. The sooner I can get her undressed, the sooner I can taste her, and then I can take my time with her.
As soon as my mouth is on her, Dani’s body relaxes and she lays all the way down on the island, while keeping her hands in my hair. I taste her, licking her over and over, moaning against her sensitive skin. She cries out when I slide two fingers inside her and pump them in a steady rhythm, while my mouth continues to work its magic on her clit.
“Micah,” she gasps. “I want you inside me.”
“After I make you come with my mouth, I’m gonna fuck you good and hard, don’t worry.”
Her giggles turn to moans when I pick up the pace of my tongue and I feel her tightening around my fingers. I love going down on Dani. Like, I really fucking love it, but I can never decide what part I love the most: the feel of her walls spasming on my fingers, the taste of her all over my tongue, how she tugs and pulls my hair harder the closer she gets to the edge, or how she looks when she comes completely undone, letting her body move on its own accord while she screams my name. I feel like I have sexual ADD, not knowing where to focus my attention because it’s all so fucking good.
When Dani comes, she looks as if it’s the best orgasm she’s ever had. Every time, I swear.
I rub her thighs and watch her while her body settles back down. I could watch her all day long if she’d let me. It doesn’t even matter what she’s doing, I just love looking at her.
“Damn, Micah, that was perfect, but I really need to feel you now,” she groans.
I look down at my dick that’s hard as a rock. “Yeah, I think I’m ready.”
She laughs, following my gaze down to my cock. With a wicked smile, she jumps off the island and turns her back to me. The saucy minx looks over her shoulder and says, “Take me from behind.”
Ma’am, yes, ma’am.
Rolling up to the big house, a pang of guilt hits me right in my gut.
I haven’t been home since mine and Deacon’s fight. I’m sure my mama thinks I’ve been avoiding her, but the truth is I’ve been busy. The last three Sundays, I’ve split the day between New Orleans and Grinders.
Sure, I’ve been avoiding Deacon, but only because that’s how he wants it. He’s the one who suggested the stupid ass schedule we’ve been following. I haven’t seen him in almost three weeks, probably the longest I’ve ever gone without seeing his ugly face.
“Hey, sugar.” My mama’s standing on the front porch leaning against one of the large white posts, with her yellow apron blowing in the breeze.
“Hey, Mama.” I go around to the other side of the truck and grab the two huge turkeys out of the back. She called and asked me if I could pick them up for her. I know my mama. This was her way of getting me out here, but I’m okay with that. I’ve been meaning to come and just haven’t made the time. I hold them up, one in each hand.
She smiles her approval. I’m not sure if it’s at me being here or the big birds, or both. But her smile fades the closer I get to the porch. “You look tired.”
“I’m fine,” I tell her, not wanting her to worry about me. “Where you want these birds?”
“Kitchen sink,” she orders, standing back as I walk through the front door and straight to the kitchen.
“Dani’s still helpin’ with the pies, right?” she asks, taking a few things out of the fridge to make room for the turkeys.
“Yeah, as far as I know she’s comin’ out early tomorrow mornin’.”
“You’re makin’ time for her, right?” My mama leans against the counter beside me and crosses her arms. Her question makes me pause.
“What?”
“You’re makin’ time for Dani, not lettin’ this new restaurant run your life?” She sighs, glancing over at me. “I know how you get when you have a new restaurant to open. You eat, sleep, and drink that place.”
“Everything is fine, Mama.”
She stands firm in her spot, staring at me for a few seconds, making me want to tuck tail and run. When Deke and I were kids, all my mama had to do was give us her look. We knew she meant business and didn’t want any part of that.
“Dani knows I need to make this new restaurant a priority. She’s okay with it.”
Mama lets out another deep sigh and shakes her head. “Of course, she is. But she still needs you. Don’t lose sight of what’s important. That’s all I’m sayin’.”
I know what she’s saying. I do. I know Dani is my priority and that’s different from every other time I’ve been down this road. When Deacon and I opened Grinders and Pockets, I didn’t have anybody else to worry about but myself. So, it was okay to work day and night. I’m not sure I know how to do what my mama’s telling me, but I smile anyway.
“I won’t, Mama.” I lean over and kiss her cheek and she squeezes my shoulders, kissing my cheek back.
“Need help with anything else while I’m here?” I ask as the front door opens and a loud voice booms through the foyer.
“Micah Paul Landry,” Tucker’s voice echoes off the walls. “Is French Settlement’s most non-eligible bachelor here?”
Stupid ass.
I shake my head and look over at my mama who’s smiling ear to ear. She loves it when Tucker’s home—all her kids under one roof, that’s what makes my mama happy.
“Kitchen,” I yell.
“There he is.” Tucker beams as he walks in, wrapping me in a manly hug, slapping me hard on my back. I return it, but quickly follow up with a punch to his arm to make sure things don’t get too sappy.
Tucker switches from me to my mama, giving her a little twirl as he kisses her cheek. “Mama Landry.”
“Tucker Benoit,” Mama, laughs. “‘Bout time you come home.”
“You know I wouldn’t miss Thanksgivin’.”
“I know you better not,” mama warns, picking up a tea towel and swatting him with it. “I’m gonna leave you boys to catch up. I’ll be out in the greenhouse if you need me. Tucker, make sure your daddy and Kay know to be here at one tomorrow for dinner.”
“Sure thang, Mama A.”
“What’s up, fucker?” I ask when my mama’s out of earshot. “You haven’t answered my phone calls in over a month. Where’ve you been?”
“Oh, here . . . there . . . you know, around. We’ve just been on the road non-stop and half the shit holes we play at don’t have any reception.”
I take a second to look him over, not missing the dark circles under his eyes and his long hair. He’s always worn it longer, but it’s the longest I’ve ever seen it and maybe it’s the beard he’s sporting, but I swear he looks like he’s lost twenty pounds since the last time I saw him.
“You look like shit, dude.”
“Awe, babe. You say the sweetest things,” Tucker croons, but I know my best friend and I can tell there’s more he’s not saying. “What the fuck is going on with you and Deke, man?”
Of course he’d change the subject and put it back on me. He’s always been so damn good at avoiding his own shit.
I groan out of frustration and annoyance. “So, I take it you’ve already talked to Deke?”
“No, Cami. I just came from there. I had to go in and see Carter, make sure he still remembers who his favorite uncle is,” he says with a wink. “And witness the baby bump in person. Still can’t believe your brother knocked up my sister.”
“You do remember they’re married, right?”
“Yeah, he married her too.” He grabs a muffin from the plate on the counter and stuffs it in his face. “God, I’ve missed these,” he mumbles with a mouth full of pumpkin muffin.
“Did they not feed you while you were on tour?”
“Fuck, just truck stops and fast food, bro. I can only handle so much of that shit.”
“Anything else?” I ask. Tucker’s lived the band life for a long time and he’s gotten mixed up in recreational drug use from time to time, most of that shit when he was younger, but something’s gotta be going on for him to look the way he does.
He lets out a deep sigh and runs a hand through his shaggy blond hair. “We’ll save that shit for another day, man.”
I nod, but don’t say anything. I know he’ll talk when he’s ready. And he knows I won’t let him forget about it.
“So, you and Deke went all WWE right here in Annie’s dining room?” Tucker asks with a chuckle.
I laugh too, but there’s little humor behind it. “Yeah.”
“Fuck, man. Even back in the day when you both were hot-headed teenagers, you didn’t come to blows. I think I might’ve seen y’all swing once and that was when you got pissed over not makin’ the all-star football team back in junior high. You thought Deke was talkin’ shit about you in the locker room. Remember that?”
I actually had forgotten all about it, until now. “Yeah, I remember.”
“You were so pissed.”
“Well, he asked for it this time.”
“This is all over the new restaurant?” Tucker asks, his face screwing up in confusion.
“Your guess is as good as mine, man. Deke didn’t want me goin’ into business with Alex. I think that’s what it all boils down to. But for the life of me, I can’t figure out why he can’t just let me make my own decisions for once.”
“I think he’s just lookin’ out for you, bro. He’s always done that. Old habits are hard to break.”
“Yeah, well, if this would’ve been his idea, it would’ve been golden. You know that. But it wasn’t, so now he’s just shittin’ all over it.”
“But you’re goin’ through with it anyway?”
“Yeah, signed the contract a few weeks ago. We’re already under construction, ordered tables and chairs, nailed down a menu . . . it’s a long way from being complete, but we’re definitely makin’ headway.”
“Man,” Tucker says, blowing out a deep breath. “Can’t believe you’re steppin’ out on your own.”
“Yeah, me either,” I confess. “It hasn’t been a walk in the park, though, let me tell you.”
“Alex can’t be easy to work with.”
I bark out a hard laugh. “No. She’s downright infuriating. Most of the time I want to wring her neck.”
Tucker stops for a second and looks at me with an intense stare, like he’s trying to use x-ray vision or something. “You’re not fuckin’ her, are you?”
“No,” I say harshly. “Not just no, but fuck no.”
“Okay, just makin’ sure you’re not double dippin’ on my girl, Chuck.”
“Chuck ain’t your girl,” I warn, but I know he’s just trying to get under my skin. And he knows exactly how to do it. “Dani is it for me,” I tell him, needing to say it for some reason.
Tucker nods with a small smile. “You’re off the market for good, huh?”
“Damn right I am.”
“You gonna ask her to marry you?”
“One of these days,” I tell him with confidence, feeling the familiar tug in my gut at the mention of spending forever with Sheridan Reed.
“Where’s she at today? I was down at the art studio yesterday and Cami mentioned Dani’s been keepin’ busy with a bunch of photography gigs.”
“Yeah, she’s been booked solid. She had another shoot for this parks and recreation pamphlet she’s been workin’ on this mornin’, and then she’s plannin’ on hangin’ out with Piper when she gets in town.”
“Piper?” Tucker asks, his expression morphing to something between annoyance and trepidation.
“I know y’all have this hate fest goin’, but I’m sure you can maintain for one day. Her parents are in Spain for the winter, so Dani invited her to spend Thanksgivin’ with us.”
“Right, yeah. Well, I’ve gotta get goin’. My dad has a few things he needs help with,” he says, making his way toward the foyer.
“What the fuck is up with you, dude?”
“Nothin’. We’ll talk more later.”
“You gonna be around for a while?” I ask, following him to the front door, not liking his sudden change in demeanor.
“Yeah. Possibly. I’m not sure yet. Just got some things I need to figure out.”
“Hey,” I say, getting his attention. “I’m here if you need anything. Even if I’m not at Grinders. Hit me up at the new place or stop by the apartment. You know where to find me.”
“Thanks, man. See ya tomorrow.”
Tucker hops into his old beat-up truck and drives back down the tree-lined drive. Just like Deacon, he can be a pain in my ass sometimes, but I really miss him when he’s gone for months on end. I’m not sure what’s going on with him, but I’ll find out. For now I’m just glad he’s home. From the looks of him, he’s in desperate need of some good home cooking and slower days. Living in the fast lane for too long will kill you. I feel like I’m on the verge of feeling the effects of that myself.
After he’s long gone, I walk back into the kitchen and then out the back doors to find my mama. I need to get going, but I’ll be in deep water if I don’t say bye first.
“Hey,” I say, tapping lightly on the greenhouse door.
“Hey.” Mama doesn’t even look up from her work. This is her element. She comes out here when she’s happy, sad, mad . . . it’s like her sanctuary. Kinda like the restaurants have always been for Deke and me. They’re not just our job, they’re where we belong, where our hearts beat the loudest.
My dad always told us to find something we love to do and make that our job. Deke and I did that. I’m not sure why that realization is hitting me so hard standing here in the doorway of my mama’s greenhouse, but it is and it kinda makes my chest ache.
How did things gets so screwed up?
“Have you talked to Deacon?” she asks, looking up from the large pot she’s pouring soil into. Her hair is not as nice and neat as it usually is. There are a few strands that have slipped out of her bun she has it twisted into. Kinda reminds me of Dani when she’s deep in her work or out on a photo shoot.
“I haven’t,” I tell her and immediately see the disappointment on her face. I hate that. I hate disappointing her. But I’m not gonna lie.
“I know y’all are grown and I can’t make you kiss and make-up, like I did when y’all were little.” She sighs and wipes her hands on her apron. Smiling, she walks around the counter and comes to stand in front of me. “Remember that?” she asks.
“Yeah, I remember,” I tell her, smiling and shaking my head at the memories of me and Deacon out on the back porch hugging it out before she’d let us back in the house. Fighting was never allowed in the Landry house. “We’re family,” she’d say. “We work things out with our words, not our fists.”
“I just don’t want y’all to let this go too long or too far. Don’t let too much water run under the bridge.” She smiles sadly and cups my cheek. “I know you love each other and you need each other, even though you think you don’t. You do. And I’m not happy unless my boys are happy.”
There’s the nail in the coffin.
The guilt I’ve been feeling literally weighs me down like a ton of bricks. I know Deacon and me fighting upsets her and I know getting through the holidays is going to be tough, but we’re adults. We can handle this.
“Don’t worry, Mama.” I kiss her cheek and give her shoulders a squeeze. “I’m gonna go say hi to Jose and Johnnie before I head back to the Red Stick.”
“Okay, baby.” She squeezes me one last time before I head out to find the dogs. Jose probably thinks I’ve abandoned him. I used to come out here a few times a week and run them both ragged, but since starting on the new restaurant, I’ve only been out here a couple of times.
On my way to the back of the property where they’re usually hanging around, I stop in my tracks. I can see Deacon’s cottage from here and it’s completely under construction. And I didn’t know anything about it. I always know everything going on with him. Usually before he knows what’s going on with himself.
None of this feels right, but I don’t know how to fix any of it right now. Between New Orleans and Grinders and Dani and Deacon, my life feels like a chaotic mess. For now, I can only take it one thing at a time, and since the new restaurant is yelling the loudest, that’s what I’m going to focus on.
Jose and Johnnie Walker come running around the old barn about the same time my phone rings in my pocket. I hope it’s Dani, but it’s not.
Alex’s number lights up on the screen and I inwardly groan, wondering for the millionth time over the past few weeks what I’ve got myself into.