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CHAPTER 14
SELA
I wait in the dark. I know I could be in for anything, Dante or a stranger. But I know a few of the rules. I submit. I obey. I am punished if I do not. I have made my choice and I live with it. My thoughts wander.
“Close your eyes.”
With my eyes shut I can hear my heart thumping in my ears and my heavy breath, the only sounds in the room. My hearing must be stronger with my eyes closed, I can hear the rustle of fabric as he moves, and the leather of his shoes scraping against the floor as he steps towards me.
I smell soap and lilac and testosterone as he comes closer. I can see him in my mind standing in front of me and all I want to do is open my eyes and pull him close to me so I can brush my lips over his hard cock through the cloth separating us. I am a tiger.
I can feel the warmth from his body as he comes closer and leans his face towards mine, and my heart pounds as the smell of him fills me.
His lips brush my cheek as he whispers into my ear, “Keep your eyes closed like a good Serva.” That word again. But my body and my brain were running so fast and too far apart to question it. He doesn't say I'll be punished if I open them, but I can hear the threat in his voice, that there's no arguing against, no questioning.
I want to open my eyes, and I don't care if I am punished, I might like the punishment, but I keep them shut. This way I see Dorian in front of me. His hands are on mine. He holds my wrists together and pulls me up with no help from my legs. My body is against his. He towers over me, my face pressed against his chest, and my hands in the air, held by his. In one smooth move he pulls me forward and suddenly he is behind me, his hard arms wrapped around me, holding my wrists low near my crotch and his waist is pressed against my ass. I can feel the hardness through his pants, throbbing as it stiffens. He leans forward with his weight against me, and tugs my arms forward and I bend over, pushing my ass harder against him. He pulls my hands down to the cool surface of the desk and as I bend over he fits his body against mine. I feel his cock, fully erect, pressing against me and I whimper, wanting him but he isn't concerned with that. I want him now. Fucking me just like this, with his hands squeezing my hips too hard as he pounds me into the desk. I can see him doing it in my head, but here, he is carefully bringing my hands down together on the desk and covering them with his, holding them down. His free hand draws a slow line down my body from my neck, down my back and past my hips until he brushes across my pussy.
“Yes. . .”
He did not allow me to speak. I can feel his hand clench over my wrists , pressing down hard against the desk while he cups my pussy with his free hand that was so gentle a second ago. His finger presses down the hot slick crease and I want him to curl his finger and slide it inside me.
“Quiet.” he growled. I see Dorian sitting above me, washing my body.
“Yes sir.” I answer without thinking first.
Immediately, I feel the slap on my ass and pussy. The warm stinging throbs. And again his hand is back, gentle now, his finger on the crease, and about to slide into me.
“That was not a question.”
This time I think before speaking. His hand is gentle now, but I can feel it's ready to coil back and give me another. I nod instead.
“Good Serva. I reward good behavior.”
He moves his hand, the tip of his finger slides down to brush over my clit and makes slow circles over it. I feel my blood rushing towards his finger, and I let out a noise, it wasn't meant to be a word, but it might have been. The consequence is the same.
Smack.
This time his hand smacks against my ass, the surprise and the sting of pain bring tears to my eyes. Wonderful, blissful tears that have a reason behind them. No more tears of confusion. I bite my lip as another sound threatens to escape.
My body has stopped listening to what I tell it. My legs are trembling and my muscles are wiggling my hips, squirming under the tension. I want to yell at him, Just. Fuck. Me. I can hear my blood rushing in my ears and if I wasn't bent over the desk with his body pressing behind me I'd fall to the floor.
“The rules have existed for thousands of years. What makes you think they will change for you?”
I have no idea what he just said, other than it was a question. His fingers, gentle again, brush over my throbbing ass, soothing the skin.
“Yes.”
He moves his hand down, back below to cup my pussy. He pushes one finger in finally, and drags his finger from two inches in along the bottom of my pussy, and traces it back out, just enough to feel it, but not enough to be satisfied, I want his cock, but he won't give it.
“Fuck me” I tell him, and as soon as it came out I knew I made a mistake, his finger came out, but no smack came.
He growls something in my ear, I can't understand the words but I know he has told me to stay where I am with my ass in the air. The pressure of his body against mine leaves and is immediately followed by the heat of his body. His footsteps thunder as he walks around the desk and pulls open a drawer. My eyes are still shut tight, not daring to open them now, and hoping he comes back.
I hear a the rumble of a desk drawer open quickly slam shut. I feel his hands pull mine together again towards him and before I can think, I feel a soft rope tying them together. He worked quickly and all I can hear is the swoop swoop of rope swinging over rope and feel the steady tension as he winds it around each wrist and through the middle in loops. When he's done, my wrists must have 4 inches of rope neatly coiled up them and lashed together in the middle, but I don't dare look. The pressure is comfortable, but binding. I hear a latch being fastened to the end of the rope and he pulls it taught. I am stretched across the desk, just enough so my feet still touch the ground, but not an inch to spare, I am stretched out and completely at his mercy.
Must keep my eyes closed. Must keep my eyes closed.
I hear him walking around the desk but not coming towards me. It's now I think of how I could trust a total stranger to do this to me, I am completely powerless. It's not as terrifying as I would imagine, mainly because every sense is heightened, I can feel the air warm as he walks toward me, I can hear each footstep and see where it falls in the room, exactly where he is and how far away. And I can always end it by saying 'Doormat.' But that is not who I am anymore, or at least for right now. He is behind me now, though he doesn't touch me. If he did my skin would explode.
Keep them closed. Keep them closed.
I feel the warmth of his face next to mine. My lungs are exhausted. His hand glides around the side of my neck and into my hair and his fingers track lines across the back of my head and as he gently closes his fist pulls my head back to him, and kisses me deep and hot. He tightens his hand just enough to hurt, and he kisses me so hot and gentle. Then his teeth touch my bottom lip to tell me he will bite if I do not behave.
“Obedience will be rewarded.”
I am still, I am a river.
He moves back and again his lips are a moment away from mine, I can feel his hot breath on my cheek, and as it moves lower, around my neck and down my back.
“Good Serva.”
He pulls back and then soft rope winds around my chest, above my breasts and then below them. And looped together at the back. He keeps the rope tight against my body as he winds it tight, but comfortable, stopping to tug on it occasionally and breath against my back. I have no complaints, and hope he keeps going, then suddenly, complete darkness. The blindfold eclipses any light my closed eyes could sense. And he keeps winding the rope around me, until he is done and there is only darkness and silence.
His kisses start at my calves this time, and go up to the back of my knee where the skin is so sensitive my heart flutters again, and I stop myself from making a sound. He continues up the back of my thigh and up farther on my ass and goes back down to my pussy. He kisses in the crease between my leg and pussy and his cheek brushes against me. He turns his head and licks his tongue up my pussy, sliding the tip of inside. I breathe in deep as he licks again, centering his face and sliding up from my throbbing clit to my ass.
“Oh.” I hear myself speaking but I haven't spoken. As his tongue glides over me, words tumble out.
Smack. His palm slaps down on my ass as his tongue hits my clit and it is agony and intense pleasure twisted into one feeling.
“Silence.” His lips are against my pussy, the deep bass of his voice a flutter of heat, sending vibrations through my pussy. He slides his hand down off my ass, through the slick heat of my pussy and places his thumb against my clit. I almost come right there at his first touch. I've been waiting so long.
I'm gasping as I feel muscles twitching, my voice a wordless moan between short breaths. I'm bucking my hips for more pressure, more movement, his tongue inside me, against me. I would push my hips against him, harder, and grind into him, but I can't move with the ropes restraining me. I struggle against them, and he just teases, and lets it build slowly.
He is under me now, licking my clit, and pushing his tongue inside. “Come,” he says into my pussy.
My body tightens, winding like a spring and as I push my pussy back, as thumb moves over nerve endings, my body becomes a shock of pleasure cascading through me. My legs thrum and I'm hot, cold, here and nowhere. I'm screaming and gasping and in my world of darkness behind the blindfold, colors and bursts of light rush past me. My body bucks against the ropes and they push me back against the table and against him.
I slowly stop bucking my hips as the final waves fade, the crashing subsiding. He still has his palm cupped down across my ass but he has pulled his thumb to the side of my clit. His lips are resting against my pussy but he isn't moving.
I gulp down some air and feel like laughing. I want to congratulate him but I don't dare to speak.
“You don't shave. But you keep it neat. That's good. It reminds me I'm not fucking a twelve year old.”
I don't dare respond, but I like his approval. I hadn't remembered that not shaving was abnormal these these days, normally I would have been self-conscious or embarrassed, but I never had a thought of any of that. I am a tiger. I hear his belt unclip and then slide free. He drops it to the floor with a thud. I hear his zipper come down in a hurry and his shoes being kicked off.
“Fuck me.” I whisper it into the desk but he doesn't answer. He doesn't spank me for talking but I'm sure he heard me. In the darkness, in my mind I can see his thick cock behind me, my pussy would swallow it, but I can't move and inch. It's all up to him.
“You came when I told you to.”
His hot cock touches my pussy.
“Good girl. You listened. You are learning to be Serva.”
As he speaks, the head of his cock moves from resting against me to sliding through my parted pussy lips. He's inside me, the tip of his cock, just sitting there. All I want to do is push back, to swallow his cock with my pussy, feel him slip as deep into me as he can, to feel his hips against my ass as I stretch out around him to fill me up in all the right places.
The ropes hold me in place, I can't move back. I tilt my hips to take more of him, begging for him, but instead I get a swift slap on my thigh. With the blindfold across my eyes, I'm in total darkness and every other sense is turned way up, and I can still almost see everything playing out in my head. He waits, one hand on my hip, his fingers squeezing, I can tell how much he wants it, but he is steel. His other hand is coiled up inches away for another slap of I disobey. I stay silent and stop squirming, and when I start to calm down, he slides his cock further in. My pussy is stretching around him, and it's the best feeling I've ever had, as he fills me up. I want to shout at him “Fuck me,” but as if he had heard me, as if he had read my mind, he pulls back until his cock reaches the lips of my pussy. Taking it away silences that voice in my head. He is in total control, and I need to do as he says.
He's pushing into me, a shallow fuck, his cock going in halfway and every inch he goes in I lose my mind, only to regain it when he pulls back. But each time he fucks me, I weaken. My ass and legs are throbbing and I'm going to scream soon whether or not I have permission. He stops with his cock almost out of me, the sudden break in rhythm makes my pussy throb, I can't take it, my body goes haywire, legs quivering, arms flying out against the ropes, my heart jumping forward.
“Now, what have you learned?”
“Obedience.” I say into the desk.
“Repeat.”
I turn my head so he can hear, I want to scream it so he starts fucking me again, but I have to control myself.
“Oooobeeeeedieeeennnnnce.” I moan, but it's good enough for him. His hands grab my hips again firm but gentle and he starts to slide his cock forward into me.
This time his fucking has a rhythm to it. He is in me halfway and back twice before he thrusts forward, completely filling me, stretching me, reaching my center and I feel his hips touch my ass as he pulls himself in as far as he can, pulling my hips into him as hard as he can and holding it there, I wiggle my hips in a circle for us both. The only thing not tied down are my legs, I pull them up and use my feet to push him forward when he goes in.
Fuck me Fuck me, my hips are saying to him and his cock is paying attention. He keeps the rhythm going and my hips follow it, waves of pleasure flow outward from my pussy to all the muscles surrounding it. This is the best fuck of my life and its agony to wait for him, his rhythm is like a second too long, and it makes everything feel bigger, and the moments last longer, but I can't stand it. Electricity is gathering in my feet, fireworks are sizzling in my veins. Individual muscles down my back are buzzing. I'm hypnotized, by the rhythm we are fucking to. He grabs my hair firmly and lets go of my hips.
“Speak.”
At his command he pulls back, almost out of me and plunges in fully again. As he does my moans and gasps form themselves into words.
“Fuck me.” He is pulling me back and forth with his hands as he fucks me. The ropes against my wrist are holding me tight against the desk and the force of each stroke is pushing me forward into the desk.
“Fuck. Come in me. Please.”
I'm surprised I can even speak, I want to growl at him so he'll fuck me and finish me. He is behind me, breathing heavily, each one in time with his hands pulling me back, his cock sliding in. He speeds up and the slap of his flesh against mine is a train running off the tracks.
“Obedience. Is this what you want Serva.”
“Yes. Yes.”
“Wait.”
He fucks me harder, and leans in against my body, he's on top of me and fucking me right into the desk, all of his weight is on me as he pounds me, his mouth is right against my ear and his breath is hot and brushing against my cheek. My body pushes against his as I wait, but what's building can't wait much longer, it's taking all of my mind and body to make it wait, but the sweat coming off his body, and mixing with mine feels like it's turning into steam, and there's no way I can wait another second.
“Come.” he says so softly in my ear. But it is still a command, and I must obey. I'm shuddering, shaking, shivering, lost and throbbing around him. I arch my back and come, my pussy tightening in a pulse that pulls him into me. He moans, a whimper, and short breaths of surrender in my ear as he explodes inside me, his hands stretch open and his legs flex, I am sure he is curling his toes too as I feel his cock bouncing with each spurt of cum warm in my pussy.
He stays on top of me, and inside me, as we catch our breath. I can feel his cock still throbbing and getting smaller, I try to move to keep him in me, it feels so good, I feel full. I could go to sleep like this, despite the ropes and the blindfold, if only he'd stay like this on me, inside me.
He slowly pulls out of me and my pussy tries to hold on, and throbs at the movement. A sad sound escapes my lips as he pulls free, but I am anything but sad. My breathing is slow and deep, and I'm still not on this planet. I hear him get dressed. He pulls my skirt back down and smooths it over my ass. He unwinds the ropes from my body and then my hands. When he is done with the rope, I don't move, I don't touch the blindfold, I just listen to the rope being moved away back into the drawer. Finally, he removes the blindfold but I don't open my eyes.
“Good.”
He walks around me and I hear him open the drawer again and drop the blindfold in.
“Open your eyes.”
I open them to see him standing across from me. He is buttoned up and dressed but his face is slick with sweat and his eyes no longer cold and threatening. I have drained all of that away. His hair is falling forward across his forehead and around his ears.
“Dorian,” I manage to say. I’m not sure if I’m hallucinating or dreaming. “Please,” I say.
To Be Continued…
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, the second book in the Series
It’s a strange thing to want to be dominated, wanting to be under someone else’s control. Not just any sort of control, but the kind of full-bodied takeover that invigorates and electrifies.
The lightness, the ease in which I can slip off my carefully built persona of a strong, independent woman is scary. But it fits like a silk glove, so warm and luxurious, sheer and soft and beautiful. I give up my power in order to receive pleasure, in order to embrace the feminine side of me; to live richly as a woman.
I can accomplish all I want in the world, be whatever I want to be – war journalist, fashion photographer, artist, boss, anything- but as a woman, in the bedroom, I want to be dominated. I want to serve and submit, I want to be pursued and fucked and taken over and over, at his whim. At his need.