I stared at the jewelry box as I had so often since Kieran had placed it in my hand nearly twenty-four hours before.
The ring had been his mother’s.
I knew without ever having met her. I knew without opening the box or ever having seen it before. He’d told me about it so many times growing up. The one piece of her he had that he’d been saving for me.
She’d been incredible, according to Georgie. One of a kind. The kind of woman you find and never let go of.
She’d looked the darkest parts within him head-on and loved him just the same.
I wondered if she’d lived past childbirth, if Kieran would’ve still grown up to become an assassin, or if she would’ve softened the cold man who’d emerged from a violent childhood.
Then again, knowing the kind of man Georgie had been, it might’ve been inevitable. Although I was sure she would’ve still loved Kieran just the same.
Just as I had always done.
Before . . .
Everything he’d told me last night had left me confused—disoriented with the knowledge that I was already completely gone to someone else.
After years of fighting for him to see me, years of begging for him to speak to me, and finally accepting it would never be the same—that I had lost him to my father and the mob. Suddenly he’d been there . . .
The broody boy I’d adored.
The haunting teen I’d fallen in love with.
The deadly man I’d given my heart and body to.
And he’d laid bare everything he’d hidden from me.
My soul had ached while I’d lain awake for hours, unable to sleep as I replayed every word, every touch, and every expression that had penetrated his hardened shield.
But the reminder of every sleepless night because of his coldness was never far behind. Because of his unwillingness to try. Because of what he was currently doing as though he didn’t have an ethical bone in his body.
Throughout it all, and every other thought today, had been a pair of dark, knowing eyes.
And with the aches and confusion came a sudden inability to breathe when I thought about Mickey forcing me to put on that ring. What it would mean. The look on Dare’s face if he ever saw it. Most importantly, how I was supposed to destroy my heart and devote my life to Kieran when my mind and heart would always scream someone else’s name. Crave someone else.
With that thought, I jumped out of bed and ran for my closet. Once I had my bag and everything I needed out of the crawl space, I hurried into the bathroom.
I didn’t let myself think about what I was doing.
I knew if I did, I would talk myself out of it.
Soon, I was sneaking out of my bathroom window and off Holloway property, and twenty minutes later, I was slipping into The Jack downtown.
I slowly made my way through the crowded place, my eyes scanning everyone as I did, looking for Libby or anyone else I might recognize from Dare’s family. I was a few feet from the bar when I nearly thanked God out loud, because there Libby was, standing directly in front of me.
Skin-tight, torn shirt and an easy smile on her face that looked so much like her brother’s as she used a liquor bottle to give a customer a mock-salute.
As soon as he turned away from the bar with shots in hand, I slid into his spot, waiting for Libby to look up.
“What can I get you, sweet—” Her eyes widened with excitement, her smile became genuine. “Elle!”
“Hey, underage. You better have ID this time.”
I looked at the man I’d fought with for the phone last week, and froze as I thought of what to say and do.
“Zeke, she’s cool,” Libby said, hitting the guy on the shoulder. “She’s with me.”
Zeke dropped his unwelcoming glare to Libby. “No ID, no drinks.”
“Please, like I would.” She rolled her eyes, and gave me a look before addressing Zeke. “She’s not underage, you dolt. She just comes from one of those communities. You know . . . no phone, no ID, no nothing. She’s experiencing everything for the first time. Staying with us while she does.”
I somehow managed to keep my jaw from hitting the floor as Libby easily made up a new background story for me to what I assumed was her boss, then slowly slid my eyes to Zeke.
He was looking at me like he didn’t know if he should kick me out or ask if I knew what a computer was.
“No ID, no drinks,” he repeated before turning away.
Libby laughed as she watched him go, the sound low and throaty. “God, the guy is a silver fox, but he’s a little too caveman for my tastes, if you know what I mean.”
I didn’t.
She turned to face me again. “So, what brings you to my home away from home?”
I bit my lip as a rush of excitement and fear swirled in my stomach, but couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across my face. “I want to find your brother.”
Her smile mirrored my own then shifted into a knowing grin. “I see. We’re all still at my mom’s house. He’s there.” Pulling her phone out of the back pocket of her dark jeans, she checked the screen for a second then put it away. “You happen to be in luck, because I’m not closing tonight, and I get off in about twenty minutes. You can follow me.”
“I walked here.”
Her eyebrows lifted, that grin widening. “Of course you did. Well, you can walk if you want, but it’s about three miles from here, as I’m sure you remember. It’ll be faster if you wait for me to drive you.”
“Okay,” I said, the word too soft in my nervousness.
“Go find a booth, I’ll find you when I’m done. And, Elle,” she called out when I started to leave, “what I said still stands. If you plan on running, make sure my brother knows.”
“I don’t,” I replied immediately, not realizing until after she’d gone back to work the meaning of my response.
It was the first time in my life I’d ever said I planned on staying in this confining town.
And it had been instinctive.