I blinked, trying to force my heavy eyelids to open.
The room was quiet, void of any sound other than my rapidly pounding heart and Dare’s soft breathing beside me. So unlike the loud movie we’d fallen asleep to.
And I felt like I’d slept for hours.
The panic of not knowing the time—of knowing I’d fallen asleep—rushed through me quickly. Consuming and choking me.
I maneuvered out of Dare’s hold and off the mattress, trying not to wake him but unable to ease my incessant need to hurry. Even still, I paused when my feet touched the cool, hardwood floor, my weight shifting from foot to foot as that electricity that thrummed between us called to me, pulling me back in the direction of Dare and the warmth and comfort he promised.
But the new day promised things too.
Even if Kieran hadn’t come back last night, Beck might be home by now. Depending on the time, he could be awake soon and notice my absence.
My face pinched, an apology on my lips when I heard the mattress shift behind me.
I twisted to see Dare now on his stomach, still asleep . . .
I couldn’t breathe.
That panic and fear from what seemed so long ago? It was nothing. Nothing compared to the horror rushing through me like gasoline.
One breath would light a match. One step and I would go up in flames.
Every nightmare I’d ever had was now just feet away. A reality. And it was on the man who had somehow captured my heart.
Five lines—four horizontal, one vertical. One circle.
Not just somewhere small on his body as I’d seen that one night so many years before, but covering the entire length of Dare’s toned back.
A steel fist gripped my heart, crushing it slowly as I stared, silently begging for the image in front of me to disappear.
Men who use the dark to their advantage.
Lines and circles.
Blood staining my carpet.
A stuttered breath that sounded like a cry wrenched from me, and I slapped a shaking hand over my mouth in an attempt to mute it. My world was spiraling into confusion and betrayals and unknowns. How? How is this happening?
Tears slipped down my cheeks as I hurried to grab the clothes Libby lent me, sneaking out of the unlocked room once dressed.
My throat ached from holding back my sobs, but I needed to get out of this house. I needed to get away from these people who were tied to the family that had caused me so much pain.
That wanted me dead.
But even as I tried to force myself to keep walking—to grab my bag and run—I found myself slowing . . . found myself stopping and slumping against a wall until I was sliding down it. I buried my head in my hands as silent sobs wracked my body.
I didn’t know how to handle what I’d just seen, but I couldn’t forget the past week. The last two years.
I needed to leave. I needed to get far from this place. I knew that. But I couldn’t cage my heart now that it’d been freed.
I couldn’t run from him because of who he was, when I’d been running to get away from myself for so long. A fact Dare had accepted without explanations.
“Then lie to me.”
I shakily stood, rubbing my hands across my face in a vain attempt to brush away the relentless tears.
“Decision made?” a feminine voice called out.
I jerked back against the wall, my hand flying to my chest to calm my racing heart. “God, Einstein.”
She searched my face for a few seconds, then nodded toward the living room before walking past me to head that way. Never once checking to make sure I was following her.
“I’m surprised it took you so long. Gotta say, I’m a little disappointed,” she said matter-of-factly, then clicked her tongue.
“I sat down within seconds—”
“Not what I meant.”
I swiped at my cheeks again to brush away any lingering wetness, huffing when I said, “Then, as always, I’m not following you.”
“Not many people do, Lily O’Sullivan.”
My head snapped up, eyes widening when my name left her mouth. I quickly looked around us to see if anyone was within hearing distance, but it was just us.
I tried to calm down. I tried to tell myself to channel the Lily that sat in on meetings. Blank stare, no reaction, impenetrable wall.
But I couldn’t stop.
I had already been too blindsided by Dare’s tattoo to respond rationally now.
“I—what did you—I don’t under—”
“Relax, no one else knows,” she said in a soothing tone I would’ve never expected from the wild-eyed girl in front of me.
I couldn’t relax. She knew my name and her boyfriend’s best friend was a member of the Borellos.
“If it helps you at all,” she went on when her keen eyes caught my rising panic, “I’ve known this whole time. I told you, there’s just something about your mouth.”
“I don’t . . . I don’t understand.”
“You’re Lily O’Sullivan. I know who you are. Earth to the not-so-dead princess.” She rolled her eyes and settled back into the chair.
“What do you mean by whole time, and . . . and how do you know me?” My chest hitched with my too-fast breaths, and I fought to calm myself. “Why would you let me say I’m someone else? Who are you?”
She drummed her fingers quickly on the arms of the chair as she waited for me to finish demanding answers, and sighed once she was sure I was done. “Well, I guess who I am depends on the decision you just made in the hall.”
I glanced at the empty hall instinctively, then back to her. “What decision?”
Einstein’s eyes rolled again, like she was frustrated with having to spell out things that should be simple. “I thought a mob princess would’ve put things together faster than you did, but I have my own theory for why you didn’t. I figured we’d never see you again because you would’ve figured it out. When you showed up last night and proved me wrong, I knew a day would come when you looked like you were a step away from a panic attack because you learned something about the man you were falling for. Today happened to be that morning. But since you didn’t leave, I can only assume you made a decision. Unfortunately, there are a lot of decisions you could’ve made. And I’m waiting to hear yours.”
“You’re one of them,” I whispered, studying every movement she made as I did.
But she simply sat there, waiting for my answer without seeming to care that I knew.
Then again, if she was a member of the Borellos, she’d known about me and hadn’t said a word . . .
“Decision?” she prompted after nearly a minute had passed.
I loosed a weighted breath, lifting my hands helplessly before letting them fall. “How do I walk away from what we have? How do I pretend he didn’t completely change my life?”
“How indeed?” she asked with a raised brow.
“Look, I know how this ends,” I whispered harshly, leaning in toward her so my voice wouldn’t carry. “I knew when I couldn’t force myself to leave. I knew before you said my name. One day he’ll realize who I am. One day one of you—another one of you—will realize who I am. If I’m not killed immediately, then I’ll be turned over to Demitri Borello so he can do it. But I’d rather spend my time until that day comes loving Dare, than never experiencing another moment with him.”
Einstein’s lips twitched into a smile. “So that’s it then?”
“Yeah,” I said on a breath as I sat back. “That’s it.”
We sat in uncomfortable silence before she said, “I finally put it together after you stabbed Johnny and everyone was waiting for you to wake up. I was putting your clothes in your purse and found your contacts in there. I wondered what you would look like without your glasses on . . . then I realized they were colored contacts. It didn’t take long after that.”
“So, you’ve known for a week and haven’t said anything. Why?”
“Two reasons.” She raised her hand so it was just barely hovering over the arm of the chair and lifted a finger, indicating one. “If you were really running from a man, then I knew exactly who you were running from, and I didn’t blame you for doing it. You know who I’m dating, but I refuse to be in the same room as the man you’re dating because he terrifies me in a way nothing ever has or will.”
I started when I realized she meant Kieran. If only she knew how twisted her confession sounded to me. Or that I’d felt—and still feel—so terrified of Johnny and knew I never had to fear Kieran.
“I wanted to make sure you had a place to go.” She lifted a second finger, indicating two. “And I was fairly sure this heart-to-heart would happen eventually. I wanted to make sure when it did that we understood each other. If I could keep you a secret to this house, then anything you found out about us didn’t need to be relayed to your house.”
“Why would I say anything to my dad about Dare or his friends?”
That hint of a smile widened. “Still don’t get it, do you? I really thought you’d be smarter.” When I stared at her blankly, she said, “Think about all of us, Elle. Who do you think we all are? Who am I?”
“Einstein.”
“And what do I do?” she prompted, dragging the last word out.
“You frustrate me,” I responded immediately, but as soon as I said it, I remembered her words from last week when I’d woken up to find her fixated on my mouth.
“I have a thing for locks and codes and puzzles.”
“You’re a hacker,” I mumbled, my tone numb.
The smile that lit up her face was feral. “Johnny, well . . . Johnny’s just Johnny. And the twins aren’t just hanging around because they’re hot. One’s a tracker, the other is a sniper. Combined? They’re basically our version of your boyfriend. Well, they’re not silent and invisible . . . but not everyone can be like Nightshade, and at least the twins have souls.”
I was too stunned to defend Kieran. Not that Einstein gave me a chance to speak anyway.
“Libby is actually Dare’s sister. But, as you can tell, she doesn’t really love being part of us. She sort of hates that she’s a—”
“Borello.” Horror laced my tone and all the blood quickly drained from my head. “Elizabeth Borello. Oh God.” I shot off the couch and stumbled blindly away from it.
Libby is Elizabeth fucking Borello. That means . . .
“No. No, you’re just—no.”
“You made your decision,” Einstein reminded me calmly.
But that was before I’d known.
The large room seemed to close in on me, a high-pitched ringing filled my ears.
“I didn’t—I didn’t know!”
Knowing he was a member of the Borello Gang was one thing. It was horrifying, but I knew I could still get past it.
Knowing he was an actual Borello? Knowing he was Demitri Borello, the man responsible for so many Holloway deaths? The man whose father had been responsible for even more of our spilled blood?
“Well, everybody is going to know who you are if you don’t calm down.”
I reached for the couch, but still roughly fell onto it when it felt like the world was ripped out from under me.
I’d given him my soul, and he wanted to destroy my heart. Destroy me.
“He wants to kill me.” My voice was nearly inaudible even to my own ears.
Einstein was silent so long that I finally looked at her, but her mouth was set in a grim line.
“He’s going to kill me, isn’t he?” I asked, looking for confirmation and praying for a denial. “Oh God. Was it him? Was it him last week in my—” Words failed me when Einstein’s eyes flashed to mine only to quickly dart away.
“We were tipped off,” she finally admitted.
A sharp exhale burst from my chest, and suddenly I was off the couch again. I don’t remember moving. I only knew I had been sitting, trying to stop the room from spinning, and suddenly I was across the room and headed for the front door.
Einstein slammed her weight into me, sending us both into the door and making it so I could no longer get away. When she spoke, every word was sharp and edged with frustration. “I’ve kept your secret, so you’re going to hear me out. Someone sent a recent picture, trying to prove you were alive—which we just found out days before,” she added quickly when a pained laugh tumbled from my lips. “But I couldn’t use it, there was nothing identifying, and it was too far away. I told you last week, you’re safest here. I meant that. The most recent picture we have of you is from twelve years ago. It looks nothing like you, except—”
“My mouth,” I finished for her. I whirled around when she pushed off me. “That doesn’t change who he is. That doesn’t change who I am. It doesn’t change that his family killed both of my brothers and tried to take me, or that he just destroyed my house looking for me. All my feelings aside, the man I just gave myself to wants to kill me.” I gritted my teeth, hating that my voice was shaking. “I can’t—”
“And for good reason,” Einstein mumbled, then turned to walk toward the couches again.
I stood there, stunned and unable to move as I watched her sit on the arm of the closest chair so she was facing me again.
“If you were Elle and he was Dare, would you leave right now?”
A sigh punched from my chest, and I sagged against the door. “No,” I finally whispered.
“If you were you, and he was just a member?”
“You already know what decision I made earlier, why are you asking?”
Without responding to my question, she continued on, “If he were to come out here right now, knowing what you know about him, knowing who he is. Would you run away, or would you stay?”
I opened my mouth to tell her she’d just prevented me from leaving, but hesitated.
Every moment over the last two years flashed through my mind. Every look. Every note. Every kiss and every touch over the last week. Every word marked on my heart.
“I would stay until it ends.”
And just as I’d told Einstein earlier when I thought he was only Dare, member of the Borello Gang, I knew how this would end.
We were like fire, but fire never lasts. And when it’s over, devastation is left in its wake.
I swallowed past the agony tightening my throat, and said, “I still have to leave now. I have to get back before someone realizes I’m gone.”
“Makes sense,” she mumbled. “I’ll take you.”
“That’s not—”
“I told you, I wish my sister would’ve accepted our help. I know why you have to be there, and I know why you don’t want to be. Let me help you because I’m the only one who can.”
I wavered, thankful and wary and worried for this girl all at once. “You can’t go near the property line.”
“I’m crazy . . . but I don’t have a death wish.”
For the first time that morning, the corners of my mouth twitched into a smile. “If you think Johnny and Dare won’t find out, then I appreciate it.”
But Einstein was already walking . . . again, without looking back to see if I would follow her.
As we hurried down the driveway, she slowed and blew out a steadying breath, her eyes fixed on the ground for a moment before she met my gaze. “Do you even know why?”
I lifted a brow. “Why I would stay?”
“Dare doesn’t have solid proof you’re alive. He’s just been told—well, and I guess your house told him all he needed to know. But do you know why he would want to kill you if he knew you were?”
“Because that’s what you do. That’s what our families do. That’s what this fucked-up world we live in thinks is necessary. They steal and retaliate. Kill and retaliate. It’s endless.”
Surprise flickered across her face but was quickly replaced by grief. “You really don’t know, do you?”
I bunched my shoulders up in a shrug and relaxed them with a frustrated sigh. “What? Is it because Kieran stopped them from taking me four years ago?”
“No.” She tilted her head and looked at me carefully, like she knew she was about to turn my world on its side again. “Mickey murdered Dare’s fiancée.”