Nic had told himself to wait at least a few days before he thought about where the relationship was going. But, at this rate, it was damn near impossible not to dwell on it.

Even though he’d been slower to come around to the idea, it had been all Kyle hinting that they were in a relationship now. But Nic wasn’t going to read too much into it until Kyle was ready to come out and ask about it. He didn’t want to scare him off now.

When they picked up Kevin, he’d run to Nic and greeted him as Uncle Nic, which wasn’t too weird when Evie murmured that all their friends were Aunt or Uncle or Unty Their Name.

But the look Kyle had shot him at Kevin’s immediate approval? Nic was, for the first time, glad he’d been volunteered for so many babysitting gigs as a kid. It was supposed to have made him more ladylike and motherly or something, his family had said.

Instead, it had helped him connect with this kid by listening to him and making him feel he was treating him like a smaller grownup. Making him feel like… well, a father.

Nic just hoped he didn’t say or do anything to blow it now.

“You excited for the park, buddy?” Kyle asked, and Nic followed his glance into the backseat where the booster seat was strapped in.

“Yeeeeah!” Kevin crowed, pumping a fist. “Can you do the monkey bar thing?”

Kyle gasped dramatically. “Would it even be a trip to the park if I didn’t?”

“No!”

“Then I guess I’ll have to!”

Nic couldn’t help grinning. God, as sweet as Kyle was around adults, he was even better around kids.

As soon as they got to the playground, Kyle headed around to the back to get Kevin out. He held Kevin’s hand, and Nic’s babysitting instincts made him head around to Kevin’s other side as the three of them strolled for the playground in the park.

“Do you go here?” Kevin asked him. Not looking where he was going, he stumbled and grabbed for Nic’s hand, so Nic caught him and helped him back up, then let him swing from his and Kyle’s hands as they walked.

Nic had to resist smiling as he shook his head. “No.”

“Why?”

“I’m too boring for cool things like this.”

“Why?”

“Uh.” He cast a quick look at Kyle.

Kyle saved him. “A lot of grownups forget about these places. Thank you for reminding him.”

“You have to come here!” Kevin ordered him. “It’s so cool! They have a pirate ship! I love pirates. Daddy got me a pirate book. I like books. Do you like pirates?”

God, he was a talker. Had Kyle been this bright at his age? Nic had no doubt he had been. Nic grinned at Kyle, then looked down. “I like pirates and playgrounds. I see the error of my ways. I’ll come here a lot now.”

The playground did look pretty damn cool, actually. The moment they were on the wood chips, Kevin let go of their hands and bolted for the swings. “Push!”

“He’s going to get so many report cards about being a… self-directed player.” Nic grinned at Kyle.

“I know,” Kyle chuckled fondly, watching his son scramble around to find his favorite swing. “Be warned, he will make you push him as high as you can.”

“Can he hold on well?”

“Oh, yeah. Can’t pry him off.”

“Good.”

Kyle cast him an appreciative glance. “Did you have a sibling, or…?”

“Nope. I was an only kid. But they used to volunteer me for everyone else’s babysitting jobs. Free, of course,” Nic rolled his eyes.

“Ugh,” Kyle groaned. “It’s so different when it’s your own kid.”

They started taking turns pushing Kevin, getting him up to speed and letting him swing on his own for a minute until he called for them to push again. It was an easy workout, compared to Nic was used to.

“So, um… what about you and Evie?” Nic finally asked as they stood aside and listened to Kevin squeal above them.

Kyle gave him a quick smile. “She wanted a kid, and so did I, and she needed help. We never dated. We just agreed to coparent. I wanted to be involved in Kevin’s life.”

“That’s so cool,” Nic murmured, but as Kyle turned to push his son again, his mind was turning.

Kyle was answering his questions, and asking him along on playdates like this. He doubted Kyle would be open to him coming and bonding with Kevin if he wasn’t serious about wanting a relationship, on some level. He was at least open to it.

It was bittersweet to watch Kyle with Kevin. As much as he liked being around Kevin, his own feelings on kids were far from settled.

Nic had never felt like carrying his own child was the right option, and back when he started testosterone, he hadn’t had the money for egg storage. So, when he got his meta surgery, he’d had no choice but to get a hysterectomy, and he hadn’t regretted it.

Getting his ovaries removed at the same time had been a need for him—the last barrier to feeling male, and the only way to eliminate the risk of cancer. Doctors still didn’t know what the long-term effects of testosterone were, after all.

But the biological impulse to have kids was still there. Sure, some people didn’t experience it and didn’t want kids, but many others like him did; being trans didn’t change that. The impulse to have a child of his own blood had little to do with his need to be in the right body. It was bittersweet to see people who didn’t have to think about how to fulfill their biological imperatives and weigh up their life plans at age eighteen.

He helped Kyle chase Kevin through the play equipment, laughing and joking around with them. Despite the tender feelings around parenting for him, things between the three of them were so easy, so right, without needing to be forced.

What would it be like to coparent? Even if the kid wasn’t biologically his, nothing stopped him from being a great dad to someone else’s child. It sounded like he and Kyle knew equally well that fatherhood—the real kind, not the legal obligation—had nothing to do with conception and everything to do with everything afterward.

Watching Kyle hoist himself up the monkey bars, trying not to laugh as he pulled what was absolutely a pole dancing move to get up there, and hold himself up by the ankles… it was a glimpse at a future that Nic suddenly desperately wanted.

Kevin crowed, “Your turn!” Nic didn’t hesitate to approach the bars.

He wasn’t sure he could hoist himself up, but after a few seconds of awkwardly hanging from his wrists, he felt Kyle yank his ankles up. He squeaked and nearly let go as Kyle laughed.

“Come on, hook your knees over.”

“I haven’t done this in—argh! Years!” Nic squirmed and slipped his legs over the bar, then clenched it hard.

“Let go,” Kyle urged. He dropped to the ground smoothly and stood next to him, a hand on his hip.

Nic eyed the ground uncertainly.

But Kevin cheered him on, and Kyle had a hand on his leg.

Nic took a deep breath and let go of his grip on the cool steel.

He swung but held on, the ground rushing into view. Suddenly, Kevin was at eye-level with him but upside-down.

“Me next!” Kevin bounced up and down, grabbing his dad’s arm.

Kyle laughed and hoisted him up, then flipped him upside-down.

Dangling from the bar, all the blood rushing to his head, Nic watched with the world’s biggest grin.

He felt like a kid again, in ways he’d never gotten to experience the first time around.

God, he’d never realized he needed this until now.

He almost missed Kyle’s murmur into his ear when he finally let go of the bar and dropped to the ground again.

“Good job, darling.”

Nic gave Kyle a startled glance.

Kyle’s smile in return was soft, and Kyle slipped his arm around his waist as he stood next to Kevin, keeping a hand on him as he scrambled around the bars.

Nic’s smile was so hard it hurt. “Thanks… honey?”

“Sure, but that’s a little sappy for your aesthetic,” Kyle winked.

“Baby?”

Kyle hummed. “I’ll take it.”

Kevin was starting to tell them a story about his classmates at preschool, so Nic focused his attention on him, but he couldn’t stop grinning.

One day at a time.