It was an odd change of pace to be with just one person. I had had a few monogamous relationships for a couple months at a time, but they never lasted. If I was being honest, I had never actually felt much for those guys, nothing close to the connection I found with Mason.

At this point, I didn’t even have the urge to go to Murphy’s on the nights when I wasn’t with Mason nor hop on Grindr (which I had incidentally deleted after our first night together at Hamilton House).

Hitting the ‘ignore’ button on my phone when I got a late-night call from one of my past encounters wasn’t even an act of willpower; I genuinely didn’t WANT to fuck them. Even if I did, I would just be picturing Mason as I had already been doing consistently ever since I first laid eyes on him.

Plus, and perhaps most importantly, I would never do anything to hurt Mason. I never wanted to be responsible for even an inkling of discomfort for that man. I realized this was probably an impossibility over a long life together, but I figured that it was a nice goal to have.

Was this what finding THE ONE was like? Did things just fall into place perfectly?

My thoughts were interrupted by the ding of the elevator, alerting me that I had reached my floor.

I coolly walked to my office, nonchalantly scanning the area for my omega. And, there he was, handing Anderson some paperwork, about three cubicles away. I slowed my pace and Mason looked up. We caught each other’s eyes for just a brief moment before we both looked away, but that was more than enough of a jolt of euphoria to begin my day – even better than coffee.

Somehow I managed to make it to my office with no one seeing the ridiculous grin that was likely plastered on my face. It faded fast, however, when I saw Mason walking into my office with a look of dread.

“Here, I need you to sign PIP forms for Anderson and Gonzalez.”

“Well, it’s nice to see you, too.” I retorted. Mason was not amused.

“Just, please sign these. I’ve got other things to do.”

“No, no.” I got up to close the door to my office. “What’s with you? I dropped you off last night and everything was fine.”

“That was last night. This is today.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Jordan…I was up all last night thinking. I just don’t see how this can work. I need to focus on getting my life together, not gallivanting with you like nothing else matters.”

I felt like someone had punched me in the face. “Galiv…what are you TALKING about? What the hell has changed so drastically from last night to this morning?”

“Last night I was still in the fantasy. I wasn’t dealing with reality. Hamilton House wasn’t real. The fact of the matter is that I’d love to be your omega. I really would. But I can’t sacrifice my entire life to be with you…I’ve done that once before already and I can’t do it again.” He had tears in his eyes at this point. I desperately wanted to throw my arms around him and hold him so tight he would never doubt my love for him. But, we were at the office and I didn’t want anyone to see.

“We can figure this out.” I insisted.

“I just can’t. I can’t let myself go down this rabbit hole again. There’s too much on the line.”

I took a step toward him, he held out his hand to keep me at a distance.

I didn’t want it to be like this. I wanted him to wait for me; to believe in us. But seeing the look on his face, I suddenly realized that he wasn’t willing to do that. I was more sure than anything that Mason was my omega, but, no matter how much I did, I couldn’t change the trauma that his past relationship had caused. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to believe in us, it was that he couldn’t believe in us.

I felt so much rage at Mason’s past lover, so much hurt from being so excited about something that wasn’t going to move further that I began to see red. Without thinking, I picked up my laptop and threw it against the wall, creating a bang loud enough to be heard throughout the entire office as it shattered into a million pieces.

Mason’s eyes grew wide in shock but all I could do was slump back into my chair.

“What the hell is happening in here??” Several people had heard the commotion (how could they not?) and came running in.

“Nothing.” I replied. “Just…a deal that I thought was in the bag completely blew up in my face.”

I looked up at Mason and watched his head hang as he slowly left the room.