Found in Understanding: Refuge Series Book Three by Debbie Zello (32)

Chapter Thirty-Two

I was spending hours reading and writing every day. So much time that my eyes were bothering me. At first, they just seemed tired but after a while, they actually hurt. Understanding talked me into going to get an eye exam and a few days later I was sitting with my glasses on at the library. I had to admit that my eyes did feel better. They were not a strong prescription, just something to help with the eyestrain of a lot reading and computer work.

It felt good not taking summer courses. I’d been working so hard for so long, I needed to decompress.

Understanding tended to have more work in the summer than at any other times. There were more summer concerts, sporting events and car shows. He actually had to guard a man’s car once. I can’t imagine having so much money that you can pay someone to watch your car.

After spending most of the day working on my computer, I decided to go out. I rode around for a while and found myself near Understanding’s office. His truck was parked in the lot along with three other cars. I pulled in and parked next to a sleek black convertible.

I grabbed the black coffee that I had stopped to get for him and walked around to the front door. From where I stood, I could see right into his office through the open door.

Understanding was gesturing with both hands. A stunning woman with long blonde hair was standing very close to his face. As he spoke, she placed both of her hands on his chest, fanning her fingers out as if to feel him. I felt it was too personal a touch to be a customer.

At her touch, he moved his hands to her arms. I thought he would gently push her away but they just stood there still talking. A lightning bolt of jealousy went through me. I was glued to the spot where I stood.

I looked at her closely. Her black skirt was so short it barely covered her butt. Her legs were long, shapely and sexy. Her feet covered by five-inch heels. She wore a shirt that was low cut with off-shoulder straps and I’m sure she didn’t have a bra on. She was dressed to kill and she had her hands on my man.

I took a deep breath and placed the coffee on the mailbox next to the door. I turned and walked back to my car, opened the door and got in. I was trying to process what I had just witnessed into a scenario I could accept as innocent. My hands seized the steering wheel with a deathlike grip.

A knock on my window scared the crap out of me. I looked over to the passenger side door to see Joey, one of the men that worked for Understanding. I rolled down the window. “Hi, Joey.”

“What are you doing? Come on, I’ll walk you in,” he said smiling.

“I was just there. He has company.”

“You sound funny. What do you mean by ‘company’?”

“He was talking to a woman. They looked comfortable with each other. I brought him a coffee. I left it on the mailbox. Please bring it into him,” I said starting the car.

I felt drained as I pulled away from the lot. I thought of all the nights he came home smelling of smoke, booze, and perfume. He always showered before coming to bed. Now I wondered if it was to wash off another woman. He had the perfect job for a man that wanted to cheat. He also had the face and body that any woman would want. My imagination was running wild as I began to put all of my two and two’s together.

I drove until I reached the shore, with my phone ringing in my purse every ten minutes. Texts came in one after another. I parked my car, got out and sat on the sand looking at the ocean. I watched lovers and families play on the sand and in the ocean.

I lay down with my purse under my head and closed my eyes. I went to my field of tall grass. I began to feel better, stronger, more in command of my feelings. I knew I had to listen to what he had to say. What you see is not necessarily what has happened. I took out my phone and looked at the texts first.

Baby call me.

I’m sorry Neomi but it’s not what you think.

Where are you? I’ll come to you.

Firelight please call me.

I’m very worried. Where are you?

I love you…don’t you know that?

Please talk to me!

Then the voice mails.

“Oh baby, I know what you are thinking. She is a customer, that’s all.

Please call me.”

“Neomi where are you? I’m home but you’re not here. Please give me a chance to explain.”

“I love you, Firelight, only you. I swear that you are the only woman I want. I haven’t been with anyone but you since I met you. You are my one and only. Talk to me, please.”

I dusted myself off and went back to my car. The sun was setting as I drove quickly back. I talked myself out of what I thought because of the way I knew he loved me. He couldn’t hold me and make love to me the way he did if he was with someone else. This I knew. I just should have realized it sooner. I didn’t give him the benefit of my doubt.

I pulled into our driveway, parked and swung open my door. As fast as I could, I bolted up the stairs to the front door. Understanding must have heard me pull in because he opened the door just as I got to it. “Thank God,” he said upon seeing me. He stood back to allow me to enter. He looked both pensive and frightened. I walked right into his arms. He folded them around me holding me against his chest tightly. Lowering his nose to my neck, he kissed my shoulder. “Do you forgive me for letting her touch me that way?”

“If you forgive me for ever doubting you,” I said lifting my head to look at him. He gave me a tight smile.

“I thought I had lost you. When Joe came in and told me what you said and how you looked, I thought I had blown it with you. I almost threw up at the thought of losing you. I wouldn’t survive it if you left me,” he said kissing me. I kissed him back opening to him. He groaned loudly and the reverberations went through me. He kissed down my face and neck. His lips were merely floating over my skin but I felt their warmth everywhere.

“I’m sorry I fled like that. Taking off before I let you have a chance to talk was juvenile at best.”

“You were jealous and that is kind of hot. If I saw a man with his hands on your breasts, I would lose it too. This amounts to the same thing. I admit that I haven’t been exactly honorable in my prior relationships. What I have with you is worth me keeping my pants on. My zipper comes down for you and only you.” he said taking his shirt off.

I smiled because of his cocky smile. He knows what looking at his body does to me, the bastard. I placed my hands on his chest just as hers were. I fanned my fingers out to feel the flesh and muscle. “So this is mine?”

“Absolutely. I expect you to make use of it at every possible opportunity. I love you, Firelight. I’m desperate for you,” he said picking me up and walking up the stairs to our bedroom.

He set me down next to the bed. He began gently removing my clothes keeping eye contact with me. As soon as I was naked, he took his pants and boxers off. He reached behind me to pull the covers down. Lifting me, he placed me near the center of the bed and then got in beside me.

His hands ghosted down my body to rest his fingers on my tattoo. “I know that this is where you put your hand when you’re stressed or scared. You use it to remind you of your field of grass at the ranch. Your safe place.”

“That’s why I got it. I’m so far away from my place I needed a tangible reminder. Where is your safe place?” I asked. My fingers on his cheek slid around his neck to pull him close.

“Inside you is my safe place. I see myself with you under me. I imagine gliding in and out of you. I can see you, how you look, when you squeeze me. When I know that you’re reaching nirvana. Right then, at that moment, is my place.”

“You’re going to make me cry,” I whispered. He rose over me settling in between my legs. I watched his face as a wide smile gripped his lips.

“There’s no place like home,” he said without clicking his heels.

We spent the summer similarly engaged. He came home as often as he could; showering off the stale smoke and beer smell from the many venues he attended. He would tell me the ends that the women would come to, in their attempt to get through him, to the star he was guarding.

Knowing how strong his feelings were for me made his stories seem more funny than frightening. In his past, he might have indulged, but now he was mine. I could imagine him looking at them with his ‘I can crush concrete blocks with my bare hands’ look, and them backing off.

We went for rides on his bike, stopping for lunch and sitting in the sand at the beach. I did my research and writing at night, adjusting my sleep schedule to coincide with his.

Around a week before classes were to begin, I had to readjust to my school timetable. My late nights and sleeping in were over.

I took out Professor Miller’s notes and lesson plans to go over everything. I remembered him saying that the new students wouldn’t know how nervous I was or that I didn’t know what I was doing. The second year students might not either. So, with my confidence bolstered by Understanding, I went to Miller’s office to get the class lists.

I sat at his desk looking around at his books and the other trappings of a professor’s office. I wondered if this might be my office someday. If I might be esteemed enough to be offered a professorship at Yale. It was hard to imagine what might happen, given the fact that I haven’t completed my PhD yet.

I looked over everything. I was asked to attend the freshman orientation in Miller’s place. I smiled at the memory of Royce doing the very same thing when I was a freshman. That was seven years ago. A lifetime ago for me. I was a completely different person then. I packed up what I needed and went home to spend my last few days before the craziness began with my man.