Found in Understanding: Refuge Series Book Three by Debbie Zello (35)

Chapter Thirty-Five

Once the initial shock of what I had read wore off, I sat on the couch wrapped in Understanding’s arms. To have this strong and confident man to lean on was saving my sanity. When the shaking and crying stopped, he whispered to me, “I’m going in my study to look up what I can find out about this kid. Do you want to come with me or stay here?”

“I’m going to stay here. I can’t even think right now.”

“I’ll be back in a few minutes,” he said getting up. He kissed my forehead. I watched him walk out of the room.

I felt like I was in some kind of nightmare. My logical brain told me that something like this was quite impossible. Then I read his words and realized he knew things that only Royce would know. Even if he had researched me, he wouldn’t have found these things out. Sky would never have talked to anyone about me before talking to me first. My head is spinning.

I got up from the couch and went to the bathroom. I washed my face with cool water and then brushed my teeth. I drank a glass of water in the hopes of settling my stomach. Still feeling miserable, I went back to the couch.

An hour or so later, Understanding came back to me. He sat next to me on the couch and said, “Well, there isn’t much on him. He has just turned eighteen in July. He graduated valedictorian of his class.”

“He barely survived an accident almost five years ago. He was hit by a car when he was jogging on the side of the road. He had a very bad head injury and his left leg was messed up.”

“It says that when he came back from the accident he was different. He went from an average student to exceptional. He reported short-term memory loss in some aspects of his life, but knowledge he hadn’t possessed prior in other subjects.

“I’m having him followed and his background looked into more closely. He hasn’t threatened you so involving the police is a bit premature. Still, Monday, I’m calling a friend in the department to get his take on this. I can’t get a bead on why this kid would go to all the trouble, to acquire this much information on you. You’re not rich, political or a star. Sure, you could be embarrassed and that might threaten your career, but you don’t have money to pay anyone off, so why do it?”

“I don’t know. The first time I saw him was when he walked into the coffee shop. He had a horrendous scar on the side of his head. He walked with a noticeable limp. In short, he was a mess. I was especially nice to him because I felt so sorry for him.”

“He came in a few more times. Then he was at my graduation. Then I didn’t see him for a while. I saw him again at school when he came with his parents for a pre-admission visit. Now he’s in my class.”

“Miller comes back on Tuesday, right?”

“Yes. I think his plane lands on Monday early in the afternoon.”

“Good, you need to see him Monday night. We’ll go together. I have questions for him. You’ll have to pretend you haven’t read this Jaycon kid’s paper on Monday. Do you think you can do that?” he asked with his arm around me. I rubbed my fingers across my forehead thinking. I had never been much of an actress nor a poker player.

“I can certainly try. If I purposely don’t look in his direction, I might be able to pull it off.”

I went to bed that night completely emotionally exhausted. Understanding spooned against my back holding me tightly against him. I felt protected and safe, similar to how I feel in my field of tall grass. I drifted off to a fitful sleep, complete with dreams of kneeling next to a covered body in the middle of the street. I hadn’t had that particular dream for over a year.

Sunday, some more information came in about Jaycon’s early childhood. His parent’s messy divorce, an aunt’s suicide that had affected him deeply. He was in and out of treatment for depression. All of that, suddenly disappeared at the same time as his accident. This was blamed on his apparent loss of memory.

The really odd thing was his mediocre grades prior to the accident that turned into an A-plus student after the accident. That was remarkable and documented in both his school and medical records. No explanation could be given for a head injury that added to a person’s mental ability. It usually detracted. No case studies could be found for a raise in intelligence after a traumatic brain injury.

I read the reports agreeing that this was at best an unusual and complicated set of circumstances. No wonder all of the experts could not come to a consensus as to reasonable diagnosis. Jaycon was an enigma.

In bed that night, all of the weekend’s turmoil weighed on me. I felt that I had lost all control of my life. I wanted something that I knew was mine. I turned in Understanding’s arms to face him. Gently I pushed him to his back and mounted him.

I could see his smile in the dim light of the moon coming through the window. I rarely took the initiative in our lovemaking. I preferred to let him start things. “Are you all right?” he whispered.

“I want to feel normal.”

“I would have thought making love would distress you.”

“I want to. I feel connected and not so isolated.”

“You feel isolated? I’m sorry, I thought I was helping being here. You should have said something to me.”

“No, you’ve been wonderful. You took the weekend off to stay with me. I know what that costs you. No one could have been sweeter to me. Without your love and support I would be completely lost,” I said sinking down to lie on his chest. I could hear his heartbeat and feel it against my cheek. His hand smoothed my hair and back.

“Okay, baby. You don’t need a reason to make love; I just didn’t want to hurt you in any way.”

I dressed for class in a beige pantsuit and white blouse with pink accents. I wanted to look put-together and business like. I would pass out the papers I had already read and tell the group I would have the rest on Wednesday for the next class.

Understanding and I stood next to my car holding each other. “I love you, Neomi. If anything happens, I can be there in a few minutes. I’ll pick you up at three so we can go to see Miller together. If Jaycon approaches you, press the button on the recorder. If you apply for a restraining order, it will help to have a recording if he threatens you. Make sure you tell him that you’re recording the conversation.”

“This is all too much. He hasn’t made any threats towards me.”

“Says every woman that I end up seeing in my office asking for protection. I believe there is a saying ‘there is a first time for everything.’ I want the first time on tape. I swear if he ever does anything to physically hurt you, I’ll fucking kill him myself.”

“You’ve seen his picture. I even think I could take him myself. He’s not exactly menacing. He looks meek.”

“Looks are often deceiving. I don’t want you taking any chances.” he said kissing me and opening my car door. I got in, started the car and put it in reverse. I waved as I backed out of the driveway.

The class filed in. I tried to keep my focus on the papers on the lectern, pretending I was oblivious to them entering. I looked up as the last one took his seat. Quickly scanning the room, I saw him. “Good morning,” I said. There was a scattering of ‘good mornings’ said back to me.

I handed the papers to the closest student and said, “These are the papers that I have read. If yours is in the pile, please take it. If yours isn’t there, I haven’t read it yet. I will get to the rest tonight and have them for you on Wednesday.”

“I have enjoyed them so far. I’m slightly disappointed that I haven’t read that anyone is interested in becoming the American poet laureate. But your honesty is appreciated by me.” I attempted not to look in his direction.

I continued the class discussing the reading I had given out on Friday. I kept an eye on the time so I could walk out of the room with a crowd of students, thereby avoiding contact with Jaycon. I was worried my less-than-friendly demeanor would spark some question from him. Up until now, I had smiled and acknowledged his presence every day.

Class ended and I was out with the first rush of bodies. As I reached the ladies room at the end of the hall, I was almost giddy with my ‘crisis averted’ thoughts. I stayed in the bathroom, watching my watch, until I knew the next class had begun. Then I slowly opened the door, peeked out, and then exited into the hall.

Understanding was waiting next to my car when I walked out at the end of my day. “How did your day go?” he asked, closing his arms around me.

“Okay, nothing happened,” I said enjoying the comfortable feel of his strong hold.

“I called Miller just to let him know to expect us. I told him you had an unusual paper written to you. He joked that in his twenty odd years of teaching he had seen just about everything. I told him I could guarantee he had never seen this. He is intrigued.”

“I’ll bet he is!” I said getting into his car. As soon as we were on the road, he reached over and took my hand. His thumb swept over my knuckles as I watched it. “How is it that you know when to touch me and how to comfort me?” He laughed softly.

“It isn’t that I know what and when to comfort you. It’s that I always want to touch you. Keeping my hands off you is the test.

“Knowing that you’re upset and you feel afraid or even threatened is cutting me through. I like being able to control the situation and this I have no control over.”

“I don’t believe that anyone has control over this particular situation. Even Jaycon,” I said contemplatively.

It was a short ride to Professor Miller’s house. He lived in the Prospect Hill portion of New Haven. His was one of the old Victorian homes that had been fully restored to its former grandeur. It was painted a lovely teal color with black and deep pink accents. It was exactly what I wanted to own some day.

We pulled into the driveway parking behind the professor’s Jaguar. Understanding came around and opened the door, helping me out. He stood in front of me rubbing his hands up and down my arms giving me solace. “Are you ready for this?” he asked.

“I guess. He’s either going to say he spoke to him or he has no idea how he got this information.”

“Right, let’s go and get the answer,” he said taking my arm. We walked up the path to the stairs. Four steps up and five steps to the door. Understanding rang the doorbell as I stood trying to remember to breathe.

The door opened to Professor Miller’s wide grin. “Neomi and Understanding. Please come in.”

“We’re sorry to bother you when you just barely got home. Something happened and I’m trying to figure out how this student got this information,” I said quickly. We followed him into the living room. He pointed to the couch and took a chair facing us.

“Slow down. What information are you referring to?” he asked.

“I’m sorry. I gave out the assignment that you suggested, to the first year students. I asked for an essay on their life and why they came to Yale. Why they’re in an English Lit course. I got them back and began to read them. This one,” I said handing him Jaycon’s paper “is from one of the students.”

He began to read the paper. His eyes widening as he read. He looked up at me several times as if to accentuate the reading. When he finished he said, “Do you know him?”

“As he wrote, he came into the coffee shop about a year after Royce’s death. I saw him two or three times there. Then he was at my graduation, standing under a tree. Then I saw him a few years later in the hall at Yale. He was there for a pre-admission visit. Now he’s in your class.”

“You’ve never spoken to him about your life? About Royce?”

“Never. It was all very casual conversations. We actually spoke more about him than me. He was in a terrible accident. His head was stapled back together and he had a noticeable limp. It all looked so painful, I asked about him.”

“So you’re here to find out if I know him and said something to him,” he said seriously.

“Do you, did you?”

“I haven’t got a clue who he is. I haven’t met any of the new students for this semester. His name means nothing to me. Furthermore, Neomi, I have never discussed you or Royce’s relationship with anyone, even my wife.

“Your moniker is and always has been safe with me. I put it in Royce’s book but not in connection with your name,” he explained. He looked ashen, like I felt.

“He says he is Royce. He knows things that only three or four people knew. He knows about my tattoo. You didn’t even know about that. How do I explain all of this to myself?”

“You can’t. Have you asked him for a further explanation?”

“No. This all began on Saturday. I was waiting to speak to you first.”

“I’ve looked into his background. I have people on his friends, teachers and coworkers. So far, all I know is he seemed to be an average student before the accident and then exceptional after. He has memory loss for just about everything before the accident. The first thing that everyone reports is the complete change in personality, demeanor, and intelligence. Even so far as the foods he liked. The change is bizarre,” Understanding reported.

Professor Miller took out his phone and made a call. “Hi Susan…yes it was wonderful. I’ll fill you in on everything tomorrow. I need you to make an appointment with a student for tomorrow. Jaycon Greenberg, he’s a first year. I want it as soon as possible, even if it means I’m missing a class. See what he says and then cancel my class if necessary…no I don’t want it documented just yet. Call me back as soon as you have the details. Thank you, Susan.”

He looked at me and smiled. “We’ll speak with him tomorrow. Will you stay for dinner?”

“Only if we talk about England and not about me,” I said smiling.