“Go swimming with me,” I say again in Charlotte’s ear after we finish the water fight. Most of the people are heading back to the boat, but I’m not ready to get out yet.
“We are swimming.” She ducks under the water, and when she comes back up, she’s facing me.
“Then follow me before they turn around.” They have their backs to us right now as they head for the shore. I wouldn’t put it past Alec to try to drag her out, so I head off in the opposite direction as the boat. The shore comes out a little bit so if we go on the other side of it, we’ll be out of sight from the boat.
Charlotte is right behind me as we swim into the little hideaway. “What are we doing?”
“Don’t know.” It’s an honest answer. “I just didn’t feel like being around everyone else. I wanted to swim with you.” She swims closer to me and again I notice how the shirt hugs her. “What happened, Star Girl? Who said something to you?”
She shakes her head and turns away, but I move to the side, so I’m in front of her again. “You don’t have to tell me…”
“It’s not really that big a deal.”
The water is shallower here and I’m able to touch the ground. I can tell Charlotte can’t so I put my arms around her waist. Hers automatically wrap around my neck.
“I went out with this guy from school last year—”
“You had a boyfriend?” When she starts to pull away, I amend, “Shit. I didn’t mean it like that. You know I didn’t, it’s just…I didn’t know.”
“You would have known if we'd been talking.”
I nod because I would have. If I hadn’t cut her out. “I’m sorry.”
“I know. But, anyway…we only went out like twice. We went to the drive-ins and we were kissing…”
My body tenses up. I try to relax because it shouldn’t get to me like this, but it does. “What happened?” I make myself ask because I want her to know she can talk to me, even though I’m going to hate hearing it.
She bobs in the water a little before saying. “He put his hand up my shirt and well…obviously, I have the world's smallest boobs and—”
“They’re not that small.” Her cheeks turn pink and I realize I just admitted to checking her out. “Tell me what happened, Star Girl.”
She chews her bottom lip for a second before she says, “I pulled away. I know it makes me sound like a prude, but…I just don’t want some guy I hardly like feeling me up.”
“You don’t sound like a prude.” Take that, fucker.
“Anyway, he got pissed and when we got home, he told me he didn’t want to go out with my anymore. I didn’t really care. It was one of those things that happened because...I don’t really know. I guess it was nice to have a boyfriend. I don’t really date. The next day at school, he’d spread all these rumors about feeling me up and about how small I was.”
Anger bursts inside me. “Fuck him. I’d kick his ass if—”
“Alec did,” she interrupts.
I try to hold back a groan, but I can’t help it. Of course he did. Alec cares enough about her to do things like that for her and he’s here to always do them. I’m suddenly shaking a little. It sucks not being able to protect her. To know Alec will and that he thinks it’s his job to protect her from me too.
I don’t let myself think about the words, just lean my forehead against hers and say, “If I had been here, I would have been the one to kick his ass for you.”
“I know…because you’re like, my best friend, right?” she asks, and I nod even though it feels off. They aren't big enough words.
“But you’re weren’t here… You’ll never really be here.”
There’s a truth to her words that I hate. Instead of thinking about that, I brush my hand along her hip. “Why do you think Alec didn’t care if you went out with him, anyway? I can’t even talk to you without him being a prick.”
Her answer is simple, easy, and she doesn’t shy away from it. “Because he knew I didn’t really like Thomas.”
My pulse jumps. She likes me. This totally cool girl who I would do anything for. Who trusts me with her secrets and who makes me forget for the first time in months. I knew it last year, but this doesn’t feel the same. It feels like more.
“I wish things could be different.” I push the wet strands of her hair behind her ear. “There’s nothing wrong with the way you look. You’re beautiful.”
She gasps. I can’t stop myself from leaning forward and taking her mouth. I’m used to the feel of her by now. I know the way she moves and how she tastes. She was so tentative the first few times, but now she’s opening up for me right away and pushing closer and I want her closer than anyone has ever been.
My mouth slips from her lips, trails down her neck, and I lick water from her skin. Charlotte fists her hand in my hair and her body quivers, making me pull back a little because I never want to push her.
Our foreheads come together again and we just stand there in the water, me holding her up while she has her arms wrapped around my neck. The mood darkens, sadness creeping into her features. “Don’t be upset.” I’m not exactly sure why she’s so sad; I just know she is.
“I’m going to miss you,” Charlotte whispers.
I pull her tighter against me. “We’ll still be here a couple more weeks. And we’ll talk this time. I won’t be stupid.”
That makes her laugh. “Boys seem to have a problem with that.”
“Low blow.”
“Do you ever talk to her?” she asks. “The girl who got hurt?”
I sigh, thinking back to when I emailed her. “After we moved, I messaged her once. I just wanted to check in, ya know? But she said she wanted to forget about it. They were moving, too, I guess. She took a lot of shit. People blamed her. Adam has this promising future and all that bullshit.”
“People suck.” For the first time, Charlotte leans forward and kisses me. It’s quick, her lips briefly touching mine. “You did the right thing, though. Not that I’m surprised.”
“Charlie!” Alec’s voice shouts from the direction of the boat.
“Douchebag!” my brother yells, too.
“He’s such an idiot.” I shake my head.
“I guess we better go back,” Charlotte says.
“Unless we want Alec over here, we do.”
She rolls her eyes. “I know he’s an idiot sometimes, but… He loves me.”
I must frown because she continues, “Not loves me, loves me, but we’ve always been a part of each other's lives.”
And they always will.
I won’t.
I get it.
“Nate!” Brandon yells again.
I turn to Charlotte. “Come on, I’ll race you back.” But her words are a weight tied to me, holding me back, pulling me under. We’ll always be a part of each other’s lives…