Three and a half month’s ago…

 

Making my way to Nate’s gallery, I’m slightly nervous. This is the first time I’m seeing this place—his passion other than the band—and I feel kind of like an asshole for not knowing this place even existed.

I know he loves his art, and I understand he leaves the house and heads off somewhere to paint. I just never knew the extent, and the fact he had his own place to delve into his creativity. I really wish he’d opened up to me. It bothers me that he felt I wouldn’t have supported him in this, and even more so that he was alone in this dream until Zaria came along. Now Zaria is gone, I want to be the one to help him harness his energy into something productive for himself.

I’ve been told he has two staff members working for him at the gallery—his cleaner Robert, and his manager slash curator Alex. I don’t know much about Alex other than his name. It’s good he’s employed a guy to work for him, a chick could be awkward, I suppose.

Making my way down the street, the signage is excellent as I look down toward the entrance. It’s bright and attractive and would definitely catch my attention if I were walking past. Alex has done an excellent job so far with curb appeal.

My hands are firmly in my pockets as I approach the doorway because I’m nervous as hell. Nate doesn’t know I’m coming, and I want more than anything, for today to go well for him. It’s going to be a big day, and I want to be here for him.

As I approach, I see a glimpse of a tiny framed woman standing inside the doorway next to Nate. Her hair is a mixture of white blonde and aqua. As I get closer, I notice she has a surprisingly cute little nose ring and two lip piercings that give her that extreme edgy grunge look. But despite all that, she’s dressed immaculately and professional. It’s a stark contrast to her face and hair. Although her outfit does have a slight sixties feel to it, it’s still very professional looking and doesn’t match her overall ‘look.’ It’s like she’s dressed for work. But the thing that does catch my attention is her eyes. They’re stunning. Not the color as they’re quite dark—almost black—but the size. They are huge doe eyes that resemble a cartoon character. They light up her face, while her lashes curl up giving her this total innocent look, even though everything screams hardcore bad ass. This chick’s a walking contradiction, and I’m slightly taken aback as I step up to the gallery while taking in every detail of her cute face. I can’t help but wonder who the hell is she? Maybe she’s another artist. She looks the type.

Her stunning eyes lift up, and she notices me. They widen even more if that’s fucking possible. My heart skips a beat and my breath catches which take me by surprise. It’s weird, she’s not the normal type of woman I’d be attracted to. But there’s something about her that’s different, and I don’t know what it is. She definitely isn’t my type or the girl I’m thinking about looking for right now, she doesn’t meet any of the requirements on my checklist, but I can’t deny that she is rockin’.

I arrive at the door, and she looks me up and down with a smirk on her face as she stands next to Nate.

“Whoa dude, this is trippy,” she notes as she smiles widely and proceeds to shove a flyer straight into my face. “Welcome to the gallery of Artist Anonymous. We hope you enjoy your time here today. I’m the curator, Alex, and if you have any questions, please feel free to ask.”

Swallowing hard, the sound of her voice is husky and yet somehow angelic at the same time. What the fuck is with this chick? She’s an enigma.

She stands there, flyer out, and staring at me with the cutest of smirks. I gawk at her completely awestruck. Then it hits me. She said her name’s Alex… as in Nate’s Alex? The manager and curator that Ria hired for him. The woman I thought was a man? She’s definitely not a man. I casually look down to her medium sized tits and quickly back up to her big doe eyes. Definitely not a man.

“You’re Alex?” I ask.

She nods. “Mmhmm…”

While I’m still trying to comprehend that all this time I thought Alex was a guy, when she really is all woman, I shake my head slowly and blurt out, “But you’re not a dude?”

Alex chuckles. “Um… nope!” She places her hands on her tits, squeezes, and nods. “Yep, definitely not a dude.”

I make a little grunt, and think how hot that was while drawing my eyebrows together in semi-shock. “Nate, you said Alex was a dude!”

Nate jolts back watching me with a smirk. “What? No, I didn’t.”

Squishing my eyebrows even further together, I think back to our short conversations about Alex. “No, you’re right. I guess I just assumed from the name. How did I not know you were a chick?” I scrub my fingers through my hair. “Dude, Ria sent you a chick! No wonder you knew it was over for good.”

“Mmm, thanks...” Nate slumps his shoulders while Alex keeps looking from me to Nate and back to me again.

“Wow! It’s astounding,” she says.

“What?” I ask while raising an eyebrow.

“Well, you look so alike at first glance, but really you’re nothing alike. There are so many subtle differences,” Alex explains, and Nate and I both tilt our heads in unison.

“Really? People always have such a hard time telling us apart,” I state.

“Pffft, nah… I’d be able to tell you two apart easily. The first sign is that little fleck of gold you have in your eyes that’s different to Nate’s. His are pure blue whereas yours turn more to a goldy-green. Plus, you have more of a subtle freckle pattern just under your right eye. Nate doesn’t have that.”

“Wow, your attention to detail is really quite… um, scary,” I exclaim, while Nate chuckles.

“That’s why I love art, I see the beauty in everything.”

“Even a dipshit like Nate.” I chuckle to myself. Making light of every situation is something I do when I’m nervous or out of my comfort zone.

“Well, come in, have a look around, I think you’ll see Nate’s actually pretty damn good.”

Raising my eyebrow, I nod at Alex as she defends Nate from my nervous remark. Good on her for sticking up for him. I like her already. “I can’t believe I’ve never been here before.”

“It’s not like you knew about it, though… in your defense,” Nate says.

“True, but I’m proud of you, bro. Learning to read. Funging your Shui. Opening a gallery. You’re really stepping it up. I like this new you.”

He smiles weakly. “I couldn’t have done it without Ria. She pushed me to be better. To be honest, I wish she could see this… I miss her, you know?”

Alex looks out to the street. “Shit! People are actually coming. Quick, go away… now!” she murmurs gesturing with her hands for us to shoo. I laugh along with Nate as we walk off to another wall to check out one of his paintings as if we were interested in making a purchase, as a group of people come in. Alex gets right to work as Nate tenses up and chews on his bottom lip while looking around a little too noticeably.

“Stop looking, you’re being obvious,” I chide while frowning at him.

“I’m nervous. What if they hate everything? What if they’re critics and they review everything really badly?”

“Dude, you’ve been open five minutes. You need to calm down. Do I need to get Whisper in here to calm down your ass?”

“No, I don’t need him in here…” he pauses trying to choose the right word, “… rearranging. Let’s go out the back, I can’t handle watching.”

“Pussy,” I scold with a chuckle.

We amble out to the studio, and it’s only now that I’m not distracted by the presence of Alex that I take in all of Nate’s artwork around me. I stare at the moody pieces and smile—I’m actually impressed. I knew he was good. He leaves some pieces around the house, and we even have a few hanging on the walls at home, but I never really knew just how good he is… until now.

“Wow! These really are amazing.”

Shaking his head, he huffs. “Nah… just a whole pile of hard work that will probably never amount to much.”

I take a seat and roll my eyes. “Nate, man, really… just take the compliment. Stop making excuses. You have talent, a real talent. You’re fucking good. Yes, you work hard, but no matter how long I worked at painting I wouldn’t be this good. So you need to know you have a real talent here, bro. You really are extremely good.”

He half-smiles and slumps into his chair. “Thanks, that means a lot coming from my brother.”

“Ria isn’t the only one who believes in you, you know. I do… always have. I genuinely didn’t know how invested in this you were. I’m glad Ria saw this and helped you.”

He nods with a gulp and slumps down even further into his chair. “She should be here today,” he murmurs, and I barely catch what he’s said.

“Yeah, I know. But Alex is her friend, right?”

He nods. “Right.”

“So she’ll tell her all about today and how amazing it’s going to go.”

“It’s not the same.”

“I know… I know this sucks, bro. I know you want her here. I know you want Ria in your life again. But she’s made her choice, and you can’t change that. Wishing isn’t going to help you. If you want her back, you gotta do something about it.”

“Ria doesn’t want me. She’s made that quite clear, but I can’t stop thinking about her. I have this canvas that I’m painting for her. Started it when we were together, and I was going to finish it for her as a present. But now I’m going through stages of… do I finish it and send it to her anyway, or do I scrap it and use it on a bonfire? I don’t fucking know.” Nate’s eyes are glistening. “I know she wanted it, but would she still?”

I purse my lips. “Can I see it?”

Nate exhales, seeming to slump down further if that’s possible, before pulling himself upright into a standing position and walking over to a covered canvas. He pulls off a piece of long, white material that’s covering the artwork and reveals an almost finished piece. It’s really charming, and I can see why Zaria would’ve liked it. A grin creeps up on my lips, and I shake my head slightly in awe of what he’s achieved. Most of his artwork is moody and somewhat depressing, but this, this has an air of romance about it. It’s really quite striking, and even with the darker tones and his flair, it would be a perfect gesture for him to send to Zaria.

Nate channels his brows. “You’re shaking your head. I should scrap it, shouldn’t I?”

I let out a chuckle. “No, just the opposite, bro. You gotta finish this, and you have to send it to her. It’s far too good to let it go to waste. Zaria wanted it. You’ve been painting it for her. So give it to her as a thank you for the gallery… for Alex… for everything. Even if it amounts to nothing, just as a thank you, bro. You owe her that much for everything she’s given you.”

He inhales sharply. “You’re right. I owe her some acknowledgment. Thanks, Matt. Sometimes I just need a clear voice of reason.”

I tilt my head. “Someone’s gotta have the brains in the family.”

He rolls his eyes and covers the canvas. “So, what’s happening with you? I feel like I haven’t touched base with you enough lately?”

I shrug and drop into my seat then flop back into it. “Same ole, same ole. Recoil’s not doing much since the release of Take Your Breath, we’re just riding on the tail of that. I know we’ll be doing something again soon, I just don’t know what. Oliver will come up with some shit, I’m sure. Probably another ‘quick, we have to leave in two days’ tour of some kind like he always does.”

“Fuck I hope not. As much as I love the band and the music, I hate the travel. Especially on the bus with Lunar and Danger banging all the time like they do. Ryan and Tillie aren’t as bad, but they still go at it too.” Nate smirks.

“True, we gotta find us some decent chicks, some nice girls that have everything we need in a woman,” I declare and Nate chuckles.

“Seriously bro, your checklist is ridiculous. You need to let go of that. You’re never going to find a girl with all the qualities you’re demanding. I mean how many actual things are on your list for real?”

“Well, ten I suppose.”

Nate lets out a stifled laugh. “You have a list of ten things your right girl must have? Okay, I wanna hear them all.”

I pull in a deep breath. “Okay, one… she has to be a nice respectable girl. Not trashy, classless, or edgy, but really stylish and sophisticated.”

Nate smirks and nods. “Mmhmm… go on.”

“Right. So two… I’d like her to be a little shy, maybe even reserved, but definitely not crazy and in your face like Lunar and Tillie. Don’t get me wrong, I love them, but I find them exhausting. High energy makes me tired.”

Nate raises his eyebrow. “So you want someone to stand there, look pretty and shut up?”

I scoff. “What? No. God no. Nate, you make me sound terrible.”

He chuckles. “I think you’re doing a great job of that yourself. Anyway, keep going.”

“Mmm… well, three… brunette preferably or a redhead maybe. With curves. I like a girl who’s maybe a little shorter than me…” I pause to think, “… so tall, yeah, but not taller than me.”

Nate exhales and nods. “No blondes… okay got it.”

“Four… she has to be able to travel. I want her to be able to come on tour with us. So her job has to be flexible to work in with mine.”

Nate’s now looking at me like I’ve officially lost my mind. But, I keep going.

“Five… must want kids, but not have any of her own.”

Nate nods. “That’s a fair call.”

“Six… has solid family values, and has a strong family behind her. Her family comes from a stable background. I don’t want someone who comes from nothing.”

Nate lets out a bemused laugh. “Wow.”

“What?”

“Matt, you sound like a fucking douche.”

I jolt back a little. “I just know that I’m sick of groupies, and fucking… I don’t know… sluts. I just want someone who’s right. A woman who can bring something to the table and not just mooch off me for who I am. I need an equal, Nate.”

He inhales. “I get that, but the whole what she looks like thing? That’s a bit much, right?”

“Would you want Zaria if she looked like… I dunno… Tammy from the bakery down the road?”

He swallows hard. “That’s very judgmental of you… Tammy is great. Just because she has a giant wart on the end of her nose doesn’t make her ugly. Or the bald spot in the middle of her head either. She’s unique, and her personality is amazing.”

“You’re dodging the question, Nate.”

He groans and rolls his eyes. “Okay. So sure, if Ria looked like Tammy but had Ria’s personality, sure I would probably struggle a little more—”

I scoff. “A little?”

“Okay, fine, so looks are important to me, too. But you shouldn’t base your future on looks alone is all I’m saying.”

“I’m not. I have nine other dot points to go by, too.”

He chuckles. “Speaking of which, I still have four more to hear so fire away.”

“Oh right. Seven… must have good hygiene, washing, brushing, all that stuff. No grotty girls allowed.”

Nate chuckles and nods. “Yes, that’s actually a good point.”

“Eight… no tattoos or piercings. I want her to maintain that sweet image.”

“What do you want, like a Betty Homemaker? A desperate housewife?”

I chuckle. “No, I just…” I sigh. “I just really want a nice girl.”

He tilts his head and shrugs. “Just because a girl has tattoos and piercings doesn’t mean she isn’t nice. I mean look at Alex out there, she has piercings, and I’m pretty sure she’s got tattoos too, but she’s one of the nicest people I know.”

I think back to the blonde and aqua haired, petite grunge girl out in Nate’s gallery—the complete smasher of pretty much most of my rules—and smirk. She’s a quirky little thing. Cute as hell, and I’m sure she’s super nice, but not the image I want hanging from my arm. She’s too similar to me. I have that rocker look down pat—tattoos, piercings, and all that jazz—so I want my girl to reflect the innocent side of me.

“Yeah, Alex seems nice, but how does the world perceive her? When they look at her they don’t think of her as a nice girl, do they?” I question.

Nate gnaws on his bottom lip with a slight nod. “Yeah, probably. I gotta admit the first time I saw her I was like… okay, who’s this grunge chick.”

“See, she doesn’t exactly ooze… ‘I’m a nice girl and I’m perfect for you’ does she?”

Nate exhales. “But I guess the saying ‘You can’t judge a book by its cover’ is true. She’s been through a hell of a lot to get to where she is. The hair, the piercings, it’s all a defense mechanism for Alex. She’s a fucking tough girl… she has to be with what she’s been through.”

Nodding, I sink a little further into my chair. I’ve judged Alex without knowing her story. I thought she was a tough chick with maybe an attitude problem. I didn’t realize her ‘look’ was because of her demons. She’s far more intriguing than I first thought. I want to know more about Alex and want to know her story. Where she came from. What she came through to get to where she is.

“So, what’s number nine?” Nate asks.

I smile. “A sense of humor.”

Nate nods. “That’s a good one. Okay, so number ten must be good. Hit me with it.”

I look him in the eyes. “Has to get along great with my twin.”

His smile falters, and his face becomes super serious. I wonder if he’s annoyed or just genuinely shocked, when he exhales and slaps my shoulder. “Thanks, man… that sure means a lot.”

“Any girl that’s with me has to be okay with you.”

He grins and stands, then moves over to the small bar fridge under the sink and pulls out a couple of Buds, handing me one. “Well, it’s going to be fucking hard finding a girl to check off all those boxes. But if anyone can find her, Matt, you can,” he affirms clinking his bottle to mine.

With a small chuckle, I nod. I know my list is not only long, but some of the things on there are slightly odd. And the chances of finding someone who has every single quality is almost next to impossible. But somehow, someway, I know there’s a woman out there close enough to this checklist for me. I just have to look hard enough to find her.

Suddenly, the door swings open and Alex flies in smiling so beamingly full at Nate, I know instantly that something is going on. “Okay, you want the good news or the bad news?”

Nate tenses up instantly and sits taller in his chair. “Um… in that order, I suppose.”

“Okay, good news is… we sold your first painting.”

Nate looks to me, eyes wide in excitement as he lets out a thrilled cheer and I high five him. “Yes. Good going, bro, I knew you could do it!”

“Wait. What’s the bad news?” Nate asks suddenly frowning.

Alex grins wider, bending down slightly for emphasis, and opens her eyes wide like she’s about to tell a huge secret. “We sold all the paintings in the gallery.” She lets out a small squeal at the end as she jumps in the air and Nate almost falls off his seat reaching out to the wall to steady himself.

“Um… sorry… what?”

“The collection sold out,” Alex replies.

“That’s good, right?” I ask a little confused as to why that would be bad news.

Alex laughs. “It’s great. Amazing even. But now, he needs to paint a whole new collection.”

Now it makes sense as to why it’s bad… more work for Nate.

“Who bought them all?” Nate asks, and I instantly think Zaria must have had a hand in this.

“A heap of people. They kept streaming in,” Alex replies.

Maybe not Zaria then?

“Fuck! What if I can’t keep up? I only have a few more backlogged.”

In an attempt to calm his nerves, I decide to butt in. “Well, the band doesn’t have anything happening at the moment. So be here… paint… put your misery of missing Ria straight onto the canvas and get your business growing. Alex is obviously too damn good at her job. Therefore, you’ll have to get ahead before we need to take off again. So be here and paint, Nate. I’ll keep tabs on the Recoil side of things. You get lost in acrylic or whatever it is you paint with,” I tell him, not wanting Nate to get overwhelmed with all of this. He can get bogged down so easily and not relish in the good.

He nods. “Thanks, Matt, this means a lot.”

“I know it does, that’s why I’m supporting you.”

“We need to celebrate,” Alex announces.

“Yes! We do,” I reply.

Nate groans and slumps further into his chair. “No, I have to get to work.”

Alex scoffs. “Work schmerk, you can start tomorrow, boss. Tonight, we gotta celebrate. You, your hunk of a brother, and me. The three amigos, the three musketeers, the dueling banjos plus… another… banjo. Fuck, I don’t know. Don’t make me keep making up stupid puns. Just fucking get your mopey ass out of that chair and walking down the street to Finlay’s.”

“Finlay’s?” I ask.

“The Irish pub down the end of the street,” Alex clarifies.

“Yes! I’m so down for that. Alex, you might just be an angel,” I state.

She laughs. “I’ve been called far worse. I’ve been called far better, too. So you have a ways to go there, sexy twin,” she sings, and I chuckle.

“Better? Than an angel?” I ask.

“It was something like… God… oh God… yes, yes, God… you get my drift?” she asks raising her brows with a smirk and then a wink.

Nate rolls his eyes as I clear my throat while images of Alex in all sorts of sexual positions suddenly spring to mind. I clench my eyes tight quickly trying to rid the thoughts, and she giggles slapping my arm. A jolt shoots through my flesh where she hits me then she turns and heads toward the door. Shaking my head as I watch her leave, Nate looks at me and furrows his brows.

“What the fuck is going on in that head of yours right now, bro?”

I exhale. “I have no fucking clue.”