The ring of bells from the guy standing in front of the Salvation Army kettle was getting on his nerves. Christmas was closing in on him and Holden loathed the holidays. Ever since his sister, daughter, and then mother passed away, he’d had no reason to celebrate the holiday.

As Holden walked out of the store carrying a carton of cigarettes and a bottle of whiskey, he thought about the last time he’d seen his mother. It had been Christmas Eve. It was right before he’d gone to the Police Academy.

He hadn’t heard from his mother in weeks which wasn’t unusual. Still, it was Christmas and he figured he should stop by and see how she was doing.

As the snow whirled all around him, Holden took the hot turkey dinner he’d purchased from his favorite local restaurant. He figured his mother probably hadn’t had a decent meal since their last visit.

Seeing his mother’s rusting red Escort in the driveway he knew she was there. He walked up the broken steps to the porch. He knocked on the door. He didn’t get an answer. The house appeared quiet.

Placing the bags on the porch, he tried the door knob. It popped open. He took the bags inside with him.

“Mom! It’s Holden!” He called out. God, he hoped she wasn’t with some guy. He placed the bags of food on the table. The house reeked of stale cigarette smoke and alcohol fumes. Clothing was thrown all over the living room. A small cat meowed at his legs. He bent to pet the cat as he continued calling for his mother. The house was dark except for a light coming from the bathroom.

God, the placed had went to shit since he’d last been there. The strong odor of cat shit and urine permeated the air. The kitchen floor was covered in garbage. Dozens of empty whiskey bottles littered the floor. Empty beer cans covered the counter. Holden held his nose as he walked down the hallway.

“Mom!” He shouted.

The house was eerily still. Flashbacks of finding Evie hanging in the basement filled his head. His heart ached as he prayed that his mother was okay.

Stepping over piles of dried cat shit, he noticed a heavy copper scent in the air. What the hell was going on?

Finally, he came to his mother’s door. He rapped on it softly listening for sounds. Maybe she was just passed out.

“Mom? It’s Holden.” Praying to himself, he pressed the door open.

Instantly, he was overwhelmed with the heavy copper scent. The bed was a mess. The sheets were hanging off the bed. Cobwebs hung from the ceiling. Several glasses sat half empty on the nightstand thick with a sticky substance. Holden held his nose as he moved towards the bathroom.

“Mom?”

He knew something awful had happened. Maybe she’d fallen and hit her head.

Slowly, he turned the knob of the bathroom door. Something heavy was preventing him from opening it. He pressed hard on the door. It moved leaving him to fall into the room.

He looked to his right and screamed. He screamed louder than he ever had before. There she was on the floor, his beloved, drunk mother covered in dried blood. Her chest was covered with wounds and the floor was covered with congealed dark red blood.

“Momma!” He cried sobbing with grief. He brushed her hair from her face. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was slack. He cradled her in his arms as he rocked her.

“Momma, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here.” His tears fell onto her face.

Looking around he could tell she’d been dead for a few days at least. The blood on the floor was still sticky and not completely dried. He looked at her body which was clad in a faded pink nightgown. He counted at least five wounds to her chest. Who could’ve done this to her?

“Oh God, Momma,” he moaned. He began to sob uncontrollably. He couldn’t think of what to do next. It was happening all over again. First he found his sister dead now his mother.

He looked over at the phone on her nightstand. Easing her head onto the floor, he dialed 911.

After they took his mother’s body away, Holden stood in the middle of the empty house. It was a house of death. There was no more life here. Two of his family members had met with a violent end in the home. He didn’t want anyone else to suffer their fate.

He longed to burn the house straight to the ground, but something inside him warned him not to. Grief stricken, he gathered up some of his mother and Evie’s treasured mementos and left the house for good.

It was after that night he vowed to become a police officer and help get the kind of people who’d killed his mother.

A few years after he’d joined the force, Holden found out his mother’s killer was a local drug dealer. It wasn’t anyone he’d known from his days of dealing for Sonny. Apparently, his mother had been using heroin herself and hadn’t been able to pay her dealer.

When Holden had heard that, his heart shattered. He knew all too well the kind of pain his mother must have been feeling. The pain of addiction was quite familiar. How sad she’d had to die that way. If only she’d come to him, he could’ve helped her.

But she was gone.

Holden had the pleasure of watching the man who’d killed his mother sentenced to life in prison without parole. He smiled as the aging Hispanic man was ushered to prison for the rest of his life.

Pulling his car up to Amira’s apartment building, he pushed his horrifying past behind him. Picking up the bottle of whiskey, he smiled to himself. Amira was the best thing that had happened to him in a long time. Their chemistry was undeniable and she was charming, smart, and beautiful.

Throughout the day he found his thoughts drifting to her. When they were working together in the office he found his eyes lifting to meet hers. Each time he felt a flutter in his stomach. His heart would pound.

Fucking love.

Holden hadn’t allowed himself to feel love since the death of his daughter. He’d slept with countless, nameless women but Amira was different. She was so intense, so sexy and so strong. It was as if she had magical powers.

Climbing the stairs to her apartment, Holden wondered if Amira felt the same. He didn’t want any type of relationship with any woman let alone his partner, but he couldn’t deny his feelings.

Before he reached her door, Amira was standing there clad in a black lacy corset and stockings. Without thinking, Holden rushed forward and captured her in his arms.