CHAPTER 13
Grandma Gertrude
W hatcha’ doin’, grandma?”
I rise up from my lilacs and turn to see my only grandchild, and the absolute joy of my life.
“Daisy!”
I had convinced my boy to name her after a flower. Told him doing so would cause her to bloom into a beautiful young woman and was I ever right. She was happy, healthy, and the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world. My friends told me I might be a little bit biased, but I never paid them no mind.
I open my arms and she comes to me. We hug.
“Just watering my lilacs. You have to be careful though. They don’t like wet feet.”
“I know, grandma. You told me when I used to water them as kid.”
Daisy spent many weeks at my house when her father was on deployment half way around the world. I was proud he was taking care of our country, but I told him he needed to get his butt back over here and take care of his own. My own! I didn’t have him so he could run off and get himself hurt, or worse. He needed to be here to be a strong father and role model for my granddaughter. I was glad he was retired now and looking after her.
If there’s one thing that eighty-three years on this planet will teach you, it is to recognize when someone’s not having their best day. It was written all over Daisy’s face.
“What’s wrong, child?”
“Nothing, grandma.”
“Come out with it! You can’t hide anything from your grandma.”
“Is it that easy to see, grandma?”
“You know you used to try and tell me you didn’t eat any deserts before dinner, when you had chocolate chips smeared all over your face. You remember that?”
“Yes, Grandma Gertrude.”
“Well, it’s even more obvious than that, young lady.”
That child spent half of her childhood on my lap and the other half in my garden. My age may be creeping up there a bit, but I am still sharp as a tack, and there was no way this youngster was going to pull the wool over my eyes.”
“It’s dad.”
“Hasn’t still he learned that us girls are different? What’s he gone and done now?”
“He doesn’t approve of the guy I’m seeing.”
“Well, it’s none of his darn business who you’re seeing. That’s why it’s called your life, and not his.”
“Well, it is his life too.”
“Not if you don’t choose to make it his life.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“It’s always simple, child. We just make it difficult.”
Daisy smiles and gives me a hug. I love it when she does that.
“But I’ve made his business, my business.”
“I don’t quite follow you.”
She proceeds to tell me everything, and I must say this is quite a doozy.
“Well, you certainly have gotten yourself pretty thick into the briar patch this time.”
She smiles. “I sure have.”
“But just like each and every time before, you’ll manage to work your way out. You always do, and you always will.”
“But this time, I really don’t know.”
“Well I certainly know something.”
“What’s that, grandma?”
“I know I aught to go over there and bend your father over my knee and remind him that he needs to mind his own business. He’s not too old for a good spankin’ and neither am I…to give him one I mean. I can still whack him across his fanny, and if my hand gets tired, well, I’ve got a ruler that can pick up right where I left off.”
Daisy’s laughing, but it’s not a joke. “I may be five foot four, and he may be six foot four, but the most important foot is the one right here,” I say, pointing at my orthopedic shoe. “I can still put it right up his backside if that’s what he needs!”
“I love you, grandma,” Daisy says, hugging me again.
“I love you too, my Daisy flower. But if you truly love that boy, you’ve got to tell him.”
“He’s not a boy. He’s dad’s age, remember?”
“Your father is still a boy. You’ll see one day…when you’re my age.”
“Sometimes I wish I was. No more guy troubles that way.”
“Speak for yourself! I got my behind pinched last night at Bingo. You can sure as heck bet your last silver dollar that that whippersnapper got my whip snapped right across his forehead.”
“You’re joking me?”
“No I am not. I’m dating Gerald. All this goodness is his and his alone. Ain’t no other man can lay his paws on me. And it goes both ways. Believe you me, any woman crazy enough to try and touch my Gerald is going to be yelling something a lot different than Bingo!”
We enjoy an afternoon tea, and I’m glad to see my granddaughter’s feeling better. She certainly looks more relaxed. That’s the thing. Kids these days go and make a big fuss outta’ nuthin’. This will all blow over soon enough, and if it doesn’t, well then…I may just have to step in and set things straight my darn self.