SECRET
Raven
ANOTHER WEEK HAS passed, and I haven’t found the guts to bring up the status of our relationship with Trey. Some might consider me a coward, but they’re not enjoying the benefits of Trey’s attention. My body is constantly buzzing with arousal, and it’s a peak I’m not ready to fall from.
The words burn on my tongue each time he’s around, which has been a lot over the last few days. Trey is keeping me occupied by showing off the best parts of this town, at least according to him.
I glance over at him while he drives, calm and relaxed behind the wheel. Today we’re visiting Grove Park, and from his description, this could be the romantic spot I’ve been waiting for. The other locations haven’t felt right for having a serious discussion. My cheeks heat as I recall a few . . . steamier highlights.
Trey appreciated my bikini choice when we visited his favorite camping spot by the river. I press against the leather seat and a delicious burn settles in my back. There are tender spots from where the tree’s bark dug into me. I smile at the reminder.
“What’s that look for, Princess?” Trey asks, catching my grin.
I bite my lip. “Just thinking about the secluded clearing you showed me after swimming.”
He chuckles, and the deep rumble causes my thighs to clench. “Oh yeah. That was fucking hot. But what about before we went fishing? That alcove under the dock?”
“Oh, and after brunch at Mel’s,” I add. His favorite diner is delicious, for many reasons.
“We can’t leave out the quickie behind Dagos.”
I sigh happily at the memory. “Damn, we’ve got a lot of great moments.”
Trey’s hand settles on my knee. “And there’s plenty more to come.”
My eyes snap to his face when he provides me with the perfect opening. “Funny you say that,” I start, but stop when we pull into a driveway.
I look up and around through the windshield, confusion filtering in. “Where are we? Whose house is this?” I ask as Trey puts the truck in park.
He’s quiet for a moment, and I watch a crease form between his brows. “This is mine. Well, it is now. This was my house growing up.”
I gasp as my gaze flies back to the structure in front of us, now holding much more meaning. Bright blue shutters pop against the white siding of the two-story home. There’s an adorable wraparound porch with two empty chairs waiting for guests. My pulse pounds while I stare at the scene before me, allowing the significance to sink in.
My attention flickers back to Trey, finding him already looking at me. “What do you think, Princess?”
“Uh, I thought we were going to Grove Park?” I want to smack myself once the sentence tumbles out.
Trey coughs out a laugh. “Not happy with this spot? It was a last-minute decision. I’ve been feeling pretty bad about rigging our bet at Boomers. Seeing as you never stood a chance . . .”
I scoff at that but he keeps talking.
“I wanted to make it fair. So, this place has some secrets not many know about.”
“W-why? I mean, what made you wanna show me? This is a big deal, Trey,” I point out like an idiot.
He shrugs and slings an arm over the steering wheel. His coffee eyes peer at the house, his family home, before coming back to me. “Fuck if I know. I’ve given up trying to understand the madness you cause. I find myself doing all sorts of shit that never would have crossed my mind before.”
His words spread warmth through me. They’re like sweet honey in my veins. ‘Wow, I’m speechless.”
“Really? No more questions? You’ve always got something to say.”
I pinch his bicep. “Fine, maybe one. Do we get to go inside?”
Trey swallows heavily and glances away. “Nah, Princess. I never go that far. We can check out the backyard though. There are a few things to see there. Better than nothing, right?”
“Don’t be silly. Just bringing me here at all is something I’d never expect.”
“Good,” he hums. “That’s what I was going for.”
Trey steps out of the truck and I follow suit, meeting him on the cobbled path. We walk silently around the house before reaching a tall wood fence. He opens the gate, letting me go first. My eyes bounce around the lush expanse. Everything is green and alive, filling the space with color. The lawn is perfectly manicured without a single weed. Flowered plants line the sides and far edge. But a large oak tree in the right corner is what steals the show. There’s a swing hanging from a thick branch, and Trey leads me over to it.
“Here, sit down and I’ll push you. I’ve got some stuff to tell you.”
I do what he says without hesitation, my skin prickling as a breeze floats through the air. This moment vibrates with importance, like something monumental is about to happen. I scoot to the edge of the seat, eager to hear anything he’s willing to share. Glancing up over my shoulder, I wait for Trey’s next move. His fingers wrap around the knotted ropes before drawing me back and letting go. I sway forward gently before moving back, Trey keeping me going with a press to my shoulders. The slow rhythm lulls me into a sense of peace.
Trey clears his throat, and my ears perk up. “The house belongs to me, but I never go in. It’s too big, too haunted. My parents left it to me in their will for when I turned eighteen. Jack had been taking care of it prior to that. I contemplated selling it, but even my cold heart couldn’t do it. There’s just something about this place that calls to me. Always has.” He lets out a deep sigh. “It’s bare now, a clean slate, ready for a fresh start. Guess it’s a symbol of my life. Just waiting for . . . something right to fill the blank walls and empty space. Shit, that’s depressing as hell,” he mutters.
My hands circle his wrists, a tremble passing from him into me. “It’s not, Trey. This is life and you’ve suffered a horrific tragedy. I think your words are inspirational.”
He snorts, threatening to slam a barrier down between us.
I have to tread lightly. “Keep going, please.”
After a minute of silence, he does. “I’m not ignorant enough to believe no one else understands loss. People deal with death on the daily. That’s the harsh truth. But for a kid, losing his parents and sister, it’s totally obliterating. What’s left, you know?”
The question is rhetorical, but I nod regardless, encouraging him to continue.
“I’ve never been an emotional guy, even as a little tyke, but after the accident, I really shut down. When people smothered me with attention, it got worse. Everyone was a target for the anger inside of me, and I released it whenever they tried comforting me. I pushed them away until they finally left me alone. There was nothing I gave a fuck about, so what was stopping me? Eventually the shitty attitude became habit, taking root and growing beyond reason. I felt better staying closed off and detached than allowing grief to rule me. I didn’t know how to balance it. I still don’t, clearly.,” he says honestly.
“You’re doing a good job now,” I tell him, unable to control the wobble in my voice.
Trey grumbles, “Yeah, because of you. First person to come along that saw me and wanted different for me. Not sure why with how I was treating you. Damn lucky you didn’t give up on me. That cupcake pushed me over the edge, though. You’ve made me realize life doesn’t have to be the pitfall of isolation I’ve created. It’s not bad to rely on others and let them offer support. And I’d never admit that to anyone else.” He shrugs.
Trey’s words are a balm on my ragged nerves. I’ve been waiting to hear this from him, and it gives me hope that we’re becoming more than a quick fling. This must be a huge step for him. He’s peeling away the damaged layers, exposing the tenderness beneath. I’m sure Trey doesn’t let many people see this side of him and it means everything that he’s choosing to show me. I don’t need to ask where we’re headed—the gears are already in motion.
Suddenly the confining pressure around my ribs gives out and I can breathe freely for what seems like the first time. I gasp while emotion stings my eyes. I blink quickly to ease the burn, thankful Trey can’t see me. I swallow past the lump in my throat, but still can’t speak. When my silence stretches on, Trey notices.
“You okay?”
Nodding quickly and sniffling gives me away so I stand before creating some space between us. My skin is on fire from my reaction, and I don’t want to freak Trey out. He’ll think I’m a basket case and take it all back.
Dammit, I’m a mess.
He misinterprets the reason for my tears and follows me. “You don’t gotta cry over my shit, Raven. It’s in the past.”
I let him believe that’s what has me choked up. “You’re an amazing man.” My feet carry me to him automatically, like a pulley system wheeling me in.
“Nah, Princess. I’ve blinded you with too many orgasms.”
“That might be true,” I titter against his chest.
His humor rumbles through him, in some places more than others. “Want a few more? We can go in the treehouse. I’ve never had a girl up there. It’d be nice to christen this place. It’s sturdy and safe, I promise.”
I shiver before peeking at him from under lowered lids. “How could I refuse an offer like that?”
“Easy—you don’t,” he whispers in my ear.
With a palm on my lower back, he guides me up the ladder. Trey pinches my ass a few times, and I giggle uncontrollably. It’s like I’ve taken a shot of bliss. Heck, I might be riding a rainbow straight to Utopia. All because of the man behind me. I crawl onto the floor and take in the small space. There isn’t much to the room except unfinished wood and a stack of blankets laid out in the corner.
Who needs a bed, right? Not us . . . ever.
Trey explains, “I come up here sometimes. As an escape. No one knows that either. Guess you’re getting all my secrets tonight.”
My stomach flutters with his confession, and I turn to face him. His brown eyes are flaring with heat, but something else is flickering there too. “Hey, you,” I say, simply.
“Hi, Princess. C’mere,” Trey replies with a curl of his pointer finger.
I shuffle closer, and he tugs me in. He lifts my chin and stares into me, straight down to the very essence of my soul.
“You’re so beautiful.” The words scratch from his throat like they hurt.
My belly takes a little dip. “Why does that sound like a bad thing?”
His nose brushes mine, barely-there strokes that I feel everywhere. “It’s not, but you’re turning me upside down. I’m not sure what do with myself anymore.” I wait for Trey to say more but he doesn’t. Instead his lips press to mine, the touch gentle and soothing.
Talking isn’t necessary as we lazily strip out of our clothes. Each newly uncovered piece is meant to tease as our hands explore further. I can already tell this time is different, the typical hurry between us absent. When we’re completely bared to one another, Trey lays me down on the soft fleece. I arch against him, and he presses into me, we join in a new way.
As our bodies mold together as one, a stronger bond forms. If there are any lines still separating us, this will obliterate them. Each slide is slow and smooth, the glide a silky caress to be savored. It’s like he’s cherishing every moment like this time together is precious.
Trey showers every part of me with delicate kisses, making sure to cover every inch. My hands dance along his sculpted forearms, following the veins like a map to his heart. Hushed whispers are exchanged in the sliver of space between our parted lips. He doesn’t encourage me to talk dirty or tell him how filthy I feel. Those words don’t belong right now.
His palms drift over mine before our fingers lock, the connection sealing between our heated skin. In one second, a single breath, so much can change. It’s a moment in the span of a lifetime. Who notices such a small detail? I do. And right now, I’m aware of many things. My eyes water at our intimacy and I don’t stand a chance. Not against this.
We ease over the edge in languid ecstasy, the fall steep but expected. I gasp into Trey’s mouth, and he captures my moan with another kiss. We’re clutching onto each other like a lifeforce, and I never want this moment to be over.
Unfortunately, it ends all too soon. I notice the moment Trey realizes what’s been shared between us. His entire body goes rigid before he rises above me. His wild gaze searches mine, mirroring the frantic desperation of my own. The difference is I’m pulling closer and he’s pushing away. We stare silently, saying so much without uttering a single syllable.
When Trey rolls away, his movements are stiff and jerky. “Fuck. Dammit. Why did we do that?” He gives his dark hair an absent tug. Pain slices into my abdomen as he keeps going. “This was a mistake, Raven.”
“W-why do you say that?” I ask, reaching for the covers.
He still isn’t looking at me. “It should never have happened like . . . that,” he spits the last word out like a curse.
After all that sweetness, he yanks me back to harsh reality. His rejection hits harder than any physical blow. I remain mute, unable to form a coherent thought in my jumbled brain. I need to tell him the feelings building inside me, love dueling with hurt. It will only get worse the longer I wait. But I can’t force anything past my strangled throat. I choke on a garbled sob, and Trey twists around. His coffee eyes have never been so distant.
“Don’t make this a big issue, Raven. It didn’t mean anything.” His flat tone makes me wince.
Blowing out evenly, I face the cut-out window and beg my eyes to stop leaking. When my emotions are collected enough, I work on the next hurdle. I wrap the top blanket around me before scooting off the pile, heading for my clothes. Trey gets up too, picking up his briefs and slipping them up his legs. As I’m stepping into my jeans, Trey fills the silence.
“Don’t freeze up on me, all right? I’ve never done this before—ever. I’m all fucked up after talking about my family. And being here, at this house . . . it’s too much,” he says, but I’m not listening. I don’t want to hear his excuses, especially when my chest feels like it’s caving in.
When we’re fully dressed, Trey gestures to the ladder. “Ladies first.”
“Such a fucking gentleman,” I mutter.
He chuckles as I descend. “Never claimed to be one, remember?”
I curse all the way down because he’s right. I was foolish enough to fall hard when he never really promised anything.
The blame rests heavy on my shoulders and I’ve got a decision to make. I can’t keep going on like this so maybe it’s better to just walk away. The thought stabs into me like a like a hot stake. But what other choice do I have?
Trey hops off the last rung and lands in front of me. “Listen, we’re a bit raw and exposed at the moment. Let’s get out of here and get a drink. We’ll cool off and figure out what the actual fuck went down up there,” he says, pointing to the treehouse.
“Whatever,” I mumble and turn for the gate.
“We’ll be laughing about this in no time,” Trey murmurs.
Highly effing doubtful, but I don’t have the strength to argue.