Chapter Twenty
Beck
Lyla and I had been missing each other all week. Either I was busy with practice, classes, and games—we had one on both Friday and Saturday this week—or she had study groups or projects due. After spending so much time together the previous few weeks, the days without her seemed especially long and boring. Coach was pushing us extra hard lately, too, so add being able to hardly move to the list that was making everything suck.
All I wanted to do was soak my sore muscles and see Lyla. If she said she was busy, I was going to drive over and tell her it was too bad as I hauled her out of her apartment—that like it or not, I needed her.
Figured I’d go for the subtler, asking nicely method first, though.
Me: I’m gonna soak in the hot tub before our movie. Grab your swimsuit and meet me ASAP
Lyla: Be right there.
Me: Smiley face. LOL. Other required text things
Lyla: (_E=MC2_) Do you know what that means?
I stared at it. Obviously it was Einstein. Energy. Is she asking if I have energy? Saying I don’t? Saying she doesn’t? Or that she does?
Me: Tell me, Einstein
Lyla: Smartass
For a second, I thought she meant I was a smartass for calling her Einstein. Then I realized she meant the original text, although she’d probably say it applied to both. I grinned like an idiot, thinking she couldn’t get here fast enough. The girl was like crack for good moods, and I desperately needed a fix.
I tugged off my clothes and changed into my swim trunks. Thanks to being rammed into the goalpost during last night’s game, a large bruise had formed down my left side. I’d still sent the puck across the line, so that was all that really mattered.
The complex I lived in had an indoor pool and hot tub, which was especially nice in the winter. I made my way down to it, and had only been soaking for about ten minutes when Lyla showed up. She tossed me a quick “Hey” and started peeling off layers. First her coat, then her T-shirt. The bikini top was brightly colored and gloriously tiny, with a beaded bow in the center that begged to be untied. Good thing the jets covered me from the waist down right now, because holy shit. She shimmied out of her pants and I got lightheaded.
This wasn’t exactly the relaxing soak I’d planned—not that I was complaining. She wound her hair into a bun—she actually had an elastic band to secure it this time—and stepped down the stairs, hissing when the water hit her skin. “Hot.”
Yes, yes you are.
“I was feeling bold when I got this swimsuit—or thinking I wanted to be, anyway—but I’m starting to rethink if it was a good idea.” She looked down at her perfect breasts. “I feel like I’m one wrong movement away from a wardrobe malfunction.”
She was trying to kill me now, I was sure of it. Surely she couldn’t be that oblivious to the fact that I’d had trouble not staring at her lately. Not to mention the way I couldn’t keep my hands to myself whenever she was around. Even now, my brain spun for an excuse to touch her.
If she’d noticed, she certainly didn’t show it. She sat next to me and started talking about her week and classes, and I tried to follow, but really all I could do was stare, mesmerized by the water clinging to her skin. When I reached over to grab my bottle of Gatorade, Lyla moved closer and put her hand on my side. “What happened?”
Her skin against mine. Her lips so close.
“I…” My breath grew so shallow I didn’t think any oxygen was managing to reach my lungs. “Got slammed into the goal post during last night’s game. It’s why I wanted to come out here and get heat on my muscles.”
A crease formed between her eyebrows as she tipped her head and studied it, her fingers lightly brushing down the red and purple bruise. “Looks painful.”
I swear, I was about to lose control right there in the hot tub. Capture her lips with mine, press her against the side, and just give in to everything I couldn’t stop thinking about. This was a bad idea. Or the best idea ever. Who could think right now anyway? “It’s not so bad.”
She sat back and I immediately missed her touch. I needed to get this out of my system. Get her out of my system.
“I brought my laptop so I can show you the tattoos I’ve picked when we’re back in your apartment. What do you think?” She stood and ran her fingers over her hip, and the overwhelming urge to do the same slammed into me. “Here? Or maybe up my side?” Her fingers trailed up to the tiny string holding her bikini top in place.
My throat went bone dry. “I hear the ribs hurt.”
She stuck out her lips and then sat back down. “There’s also my back. Not lower back, but more upper back or shoulder. It depends on what I go with. I know people will say that butterflies or flowers are so cliché, but when I look at other things, I think, man, I don’t want that on my body forever. So who cares if they’re overdone? I want what I want.”
I want what I want. I know I shouldn’t, but I do. I didn’t want to screw up our friendship, but the constant wondering what it’d be like to cross that line had ruined my focus, not only when we were together, but every day. Even hockey didn’t shut it out anymore.
Plus I’d told her I’d help her with her list—it was a weak justification and I knew it. I clung onto it anyway.
“Lyla?”
She glanced up.
“Do you trust me?” I asked.
For what seemed like the first time all night, she actually looked at me. I watched her throat work a swallow. “You know I do.”
I moved closer and hooked my hand around her hip. “I want to help you out with number seven.”
Her hands came up on my arms, and her voice came out as shaky as I felt. “Beck.” Her gaze locked onto mine, and she licked her full lips. I could see the hesitation, but as I slid my hand around to her back and splayed my fingers on her bare skin, the rise and fall of her chest grew faster and faster, so I knew she wasn’t unaffected. “Could you even—I mean, I know you don’t find me attractive that way, and—”
A laugh escaped my lips. “You’re kidding, right?” I pulled her tight against me, against my giant hard-on. She gasped, digging her fingernails into my skin, only making me harder. “You’ve been doing this to me every time we’re in the same room, lately. I can’t stop thinking about it, and seeing your list…it only made it worse. I want to show you what you’ve been missing.”
“Oh?”
I traced her bottom lip with my thumb. “That’s the goal.”
Her skin blushed all the way down, from cheeks to neck to chest. Fire spread through my limbs, awakening every thought I’d tried to suppress these past few weeks. I was about to get carried away, but I knew I needed to draw lines before it was too late.
“I’m not a relationship guy. I can’t be your boyfriend. If we do this, it’s got to be just sex.”
She turned her big eyes up to me, and I waited for her to tell me she couldn’t. That we shouldn’t.
Instead she pressed closer, bumping her hips into mine. “Okay.”