B,
The mood is somber in the tent tonight. Kyle’s wife sent him a letter that she was leaving him—something like she couldn’t take being alone all the time. It has me thinking. Guys like us have a hard time maintaining relationships. The military seems to be our girl. Maybe I shouldn’t pursue Jess. She deserves someone who can be there for her all the time. How’s class going? Any new man in your life that I need to order a hit on? Miss you, weirdo.
#milosacedthesupermanreview #yoursandjesswasmediocretohis #boysrulegirlsdrool
Ben
“Come over here and tell me what’s going on.” Anniston motions with her nail file for me to come closer. I do. And when I’m standing awkwardly at the guys’ heels as they push up and down she says, “Have a seat. You can take their ass.”
The guys choke out a laugh at the possibility of a double meaning. If they could see the look of disbelief on my face, they would tease me for days about it. It seems to be their thing with me. Teasing. Anniston pats Hayes’ butt, encouraging me to sit.
“Stop, boys. Let her sit.” They both groan but do as she requests. She gets up and motions for me to take her spot. Slowly, I lower myself down and lay across their behinds. I hate to admit it but knowing these two strong men raise and lower their bodies with my weight makes my girl parts tingle.
“Twenty more,” Anniston barks out with a chuckle while Hayes and Mason grunt and lower to the ground. I struggle to figure out what to do with my hands. The motion feels strange, but I try to relax and focus on how the muscles in their glutes and lower back flex between the reps.
“Are they in trouble?” I ask Anniston who is smirking down at Hayes for some reason. I don’t know if this is part of their daily training or some kind of punishment.
“Oh no. They aren’t in trouble. Well, Hayes probably has done something shitty, but no, this is just part of their daily workout regimen. Since I’ve been gone so much, I wanted to work out with them.” She chuckles when Hayes makes a disbelieving sound.
“Don’t let her lie to you, B. She went on that honeymoon and binge ate so much she thinks the extra ten pounds she put on is equivalent to us moving up a weight class.”
I suck in a breath. Did he say Anniston gained weight?
Anniston throws her head back and laughs. “You’re a liar, Connor Hayes! Give me ten more just for being a pain in my ass today.”
Both guys bark out a “ooh-rah,” but it’s laced with humor. It’s obvious they are happy to have their commander back.
“So, tell me what brings you by, Breck?”
Right. Why am I here again? Because I am a stupid and naive girl, and I feel terrible thinking I’ve set Cade back by kissing him.
“I …” Get your shit together, B. Just tell her. She knows Cade. Maybe she can share some insight on how to get through to him. “I came to apologize to Cade.”
Her head lifts to look me in the eye. This is one of those moments where instinct demands you not look away from the predator or it may attack you. That’s how her stare feels right now. She likes me, but she will kill me if I’ve hurt Cade in any way. If I’ve learned anything from living here and being around this family for two weeks, it’s that they take care of one another, no matter what.
“Oh?” Eyebrows arched and a hard look on her face, she encourages me to continue.
This was a bad idea. I should have just called him. What the hell was I thinking? Oh, that’s right. I was thinking I would toss on some clothes, breeze in here, and say, “Cade, I’m sorry for kissing your kissable face. I’m sorry you’re so damn hot that I want to have your babies. And I’m sorry that I’m a liar, and now we have this complicated and fucked up relationship.” Yeah, not so smart.
I swallow and lift my head. “Can we, uh, speak in private?”
Anniston nods curtly, her face one in deep thought. “We’re done for the day, boys. Go shower and hydrate.”
Both guys collapse on the ground with me still on their back. They groan and I spring up. “I’m sorry!” I say. “I didn’t mean to stay on you.”
Anniston laughs, dusting imaginary lint off her spandex shorts, and waves away my comment. “They can take it. They bench twice your weight on a daily basis. They’re groaning because it probably makes them horny. Well, Hayes anyway.”
Hayes stands, sweat dripping down his jaw, and winks at me, adjusting himself right in front of me and walking away as if nothing happened.
My mouth gapes open, caught between a laugh and shock, and I snap it shut.
Anniston taps me on the shoulder, reading into my look as more shock than humor. “Don’t worry about it. The doorbell ringing gets him hard. You’ll get used to it.”
I’m not going to correct her and tell her I’m already used to it. Hayes is my friend. My partner in crime. My horny compadre.
I know—not from experience—that the slightest breeze hardens him in seconds flat. But for some reason, I keep mine and the guys’ relationship a secret. I know it’s stupid. After all, Anniston invited me to help out which led to this friendship with the guys, but I want to be stingy with them and not tell her I love them like brothers.
Anniston pulls me from my thoughts, lightly touching my arm. “Come on. Let’s go talk in the kitchen.”
Anniston made us something to drink, and we’ve been chatting about how things went during my two-week stay. She didn’t push me to get down to the nitty gritty reason I’m here. Instead, she had me tell her of my adventures with the guys. She laughed with me and genuinely seemed thrilled that we had bonded.
It was her love and selflessness for the guys that had me wanting to speak up and be truthful. This woman was not my enemy. Yeah, she makes me feel insecure, but so what?
Hence my random confession.
“I pushed Cade when he wasn’t ready. I shouldn’t have kissed him,” I blurt out like someone with zero social skills.
Anniston eyes me thoughtfully and takes a sip of her water. “Why don’t you think he’s ready? Did he tell you he wasn’t?” My mouth slams shut as she drills me with questions. “Did he not kiss you first?”
Okay, she’s making this seem super simple, and it’s not. Cade has issues, and I didn’t consider them when I shoved my tongue down his throat two days ago.
“He did kiss me first. But that’s not the point.”
Anniston adjusts in the chair and cocks her head to the side. “Is it because you’re getting close to him and he still doesn’t know about Bennett?”
My stomach takes a swan dive right out of my ass. I blink back at the woman who is Cade’s most trusted confidant. She knows. This whole time she knew who I was.
“Does he know?” I swallow and pull my knees under me.
She makes a soft noise, her lips going tight at the corners. “I was hoping you would have told him by now.”
And now I feel like the shittiest human on the planet.
The vein in my forehead throbs, and I know it’s only a matter of time before my eyes will burn with tears. “I’m going to,” I whisper, unable to meet her eyes. “But he’s still so angry about the past that I’m afraid he won’t receive it well.”
Anniston looks thoughtful as she twirls a strand of hair around her finger. “He probably won’t, you’re right.” The burning sensation arrives as predicted, and the first swell of tears accumulate at the corner. Anniston, unbeknownst to my imminent sobfest, forges on. “But that doesn’t mean he should be kept in the dark. It’s not good for his healing.”
She’s right. Keeping this secret from him will only make things worse.
“But he just started to warm up to me,” I plead, a lonely tear plummeting to its death onto my bare leg. Anniston eyes the wet spot and gives me a look like she may want to hug me.
“He’ll come back around,” is all she says. The fact that she didn’t deny my guess at Cade’s reaction gives my heart palpitations like it’s already bracing for the inevitable heartbreak. Another tear slips out, and this time it accompanies a noise that sounds a lot like a cry.
“Oh, B.” Anniston is out of her chair and has her arms around me in seconds. Her voice is comforting, and honest to God, she smells so good for someone who was just working out. Her flawlessness only adds insult to my already insecure state and I cry into her sports bra.
“I’m so sorry,” I tell her before pulling back.
She chuckles and rubs my back. “Sometimes, Breck, people surprise you. I’m not saying Cade will swallow that you’re Bennett’s sister easily—he’s for sure going to act like shit when he finds out.” If her speech is supposed to make me feel better, it isn’t working. “All I’m saying is that Cade may surprise you with how resilient he is. He’s come a long way the past year and a half.” Anniston’s smile as she looks out the window at the guys almost seems reverent.
“Do you love him?” I ask her, my insecurity knowing no bounds, and apparently neither does my filter. “I mean—”
Anniston’s throaty laugh cuts off the rest of my explanation. “What you really mean is, do I love him enough to want to fuck him?”
I choke. Full on, hacking up a lung kind of choking. “No …”
Anniston’s bubbly laughter wanes ever so slightly before she sucks in a breath and wipes at her eyes, leveling me with a stern look. “No, Breck. I don’t want to fuck him.”
Was that a sigh of relief I let out?
“Do I want him to get fucked in the near future? Absolutely. But you see, Breck, my taste in dick is aggressive and smartass.” Her eyes go to the window again and she smiles at Theo who is giving Cade hell about something we can’t hear. “And a whole lot of asshole.” She pats me on the leg. “I love Cade. I always will.” My pulse races and I want to stop her before she shares any more with me but I also don’t because whatever she is going to say, I need to hear it. “But I love Theo more. More than anything or anyone. That may sound shitty, but it doesn’t make it any less true. Mine and Cade’s relationship differs from that of mine and Theo’s. I love Cade like a brother—like my best friend. I can’t ever imagine sleeping with him. Just because we’re friends and business partners does not mean I want to jump his bones. Cade deserves someone special. Someone who won’t command him, but who will support him and give him the confidence to take control of his life and command himself. I’m not that person, Breck. You are. You are the selfless one for Cade. Not me. I’ve loved one man my whole life, and now that I have him, Von Bremen will always come first,” she admits softly.
“I know it’s difficult understanding my relationship with all the guys. The best way I can explain it is, think of them as my brothers. My family. I joke and carry on with them but I’ll be the first one to come to their rescue if they need it. I’m not your enemy. I won’t stand in your way. All I ask is that you don’t hurt him. Or any of them. The others seemed to have taken to you as well.”
I can see her point. After having lived with them for two weeks, I’ve taken to them, too. I want the same for them as she does. “I understand,” I tell her softly. “It’s just …” I clear my throat. “The way he looks at you…”
Anniston breathes deeply, her face softening ever so slightly. “You only see what you want to see,” she tells me.
So now we’re being cryptic.
“I don’t understand what you mean.” She gazes out the window once more, Cade and Theo catching us this time. Anniston crooks her finger, motioning for them to come inside. I guess our chat is over.
“The way Cade looks at me doesn’t hold a candle to how he looks at you,” she says absently before standing to face me just as the screen door slams. “Open your eyes, sweetheart, and take hold of what you want.” She swipes the pad of her thumb along my eyes, catching any of the remaining tears just as both guys lumber into the kitchen.
“Good thing you called us in here. I was just about to kick Cade’s ass.” Theo tosses a smile over his shoulder but Cade just looks bored.
“He wishes,” is all he responds, holding my gaze like he can read my mind.
Anniston chuckles but instead of responding to their mess, she shocks the shit out of us all by saying, “B’s agreed to go with Cade to the gala next week. She’ll need a dress.”
Cade and I both choke at the same time. What the hell is a gala and why did she tell Cade that I needed a dress? Or shit, that I even agreed to go?
“I, uh …” I let out another cough. “I have dresses I could wear.”
Anniston waves me off. “Oh no, this is black-tie. Cade can take you to the place we use.”
Cade shoots her an incredulous look, his eyes wide and, is that a hint of fear I detect?
“Won’t you, Cade?” Her face is stern with a no-bullshit look and I fidget before Theo breaks the tension.
“Congratulations, Jameson. Welcome to the world of torture. Upgrade your data package to unlimited so you can stream a game while she tries on every dress in the shop, including the ones that are too small.” Theo smirks, a hint of a smile directed at Anniston like he’s remembering something fun. “Spoiler alert. Those require you to pry them off.” He shakes his head at Cade. “I can’t tell you how many I had to buy because I said, ‘fuck it,’ and ripped the shit down the seam.”
Cade swallows and nods slowly. “Are you guys going, too?”
Theo’s face scrunches up like his gum turned sour. “Fuck no. You’re on your own. Have fun with that shit.”
Cade shoves at his shoulder, and not lightly.
“I already have my dress,” Anniston explains, “and Theo will wear what the fuck I tell him to wear.” She glances over her shoulder at Theo, smiling. He rolls his eyes and throws open the fridge, rooting around like he doesn’t care one way or another what he wears as long as Anniston is the one to take it off him. “Cade needs a new tux,” she says. “He’s outgrown the one he has.”
I only feel a little annoyed that she knows he has outgrown his clothes.
“And since you agreed to go” —she cuts me a look that I interpret as deny it and I will cut off your hair while you’re sleeping—“You’ll need a dress, too. Luckily, Cade had already planned to go this afternoon. You can go with him and kill two birds with one stone.” She shrugs her shoulders like she didn’t just sentence Cade and I to awkward hell for the rest of the day.
“I don’t think I can afford a new dress,” I mutter, embarrassed about my financial situation for the first time.
Anniston waves me off. “Please. Cade will take care of it. Right, Gorgeous?”
Cade’s glare looks the opposite of pleased to take care of it. He looks like he would rather punch something instead of flashing Anniston a fake smile and gritting, “I’d love to.”
Theo slips behind Anniston, bending down so his chin rests on her shoulder, and flashes Cade and I a cocky wink with a clear underlying meaning. “You kids behave in those dressing rooms.”
“I’m sorry Anniston roped you into going to this gala,” Cade says. I’ve been staring out the window while he drives, playing an old sign game Ben and I used to play on road trips. It was obvious this was not how we planned to discuss what happened the other day.
The smile I give him is weak. “It’s okay. Sue will be excited. Being seen more in the community is good for business.” Total lie. I’m actually pretty excited to be Cade’s date. I can only imagine how edible he looks in a tux. Cade drums his fingers on the steering wheel, seeming nervous. “I can make something up if you don’t want me to go,” I offer.
Cade veers off the road at my suggestion before correcting, “No, that’s not it. I want you to go.” He rakes his hand through his hair and sighs. “I know how she can be when she wants something. I don’t want you to feel like you have to go if you don’t want to.”
We’re going with awkward, I see.
I place a hand on Cade’s jean-clad thigh. The muscle twitches under my touch, and God I want to squeeze it. “I want to go with you,” I say, my voice seeming loud in the quiet cab.
Briefly, Cade eyes our connection—my pink painted nails on his dark-wash denim—and then … he smiles and covers my hand with his big one. My lungs decide that now is the prime opportunity to stop working. I swallow, staring out at the open road. I’m at a loss for what I’m supposed to say. We still have much to discuss. Cade’s hot and cold attitude with me is still an issue. He either likes me or he doesn’t. I can’t take much more of this push and pull we’ve been doing.
My hand twitches under his, and after a minute, I break the silence, my big girl panties firmly in place. “About that kiss.”
Cade lets out a harsh breath. “I’m sorry,” says the man who checked for vampires outside my window just a few days ago. “It’s difficult for me to be around women.”
I pause, blinking at his hardened jaw. “You seem okay around Anniston.”
That snaps his head around. “She’s different.”
Of course she is. “Why?”
Cade scoffs at my question, and for a minute I think he’s not going to answer me. But then the truck slows, and he pulls off onto the shoulder. He presses the button, and the windows lower before he flips off the ignition.
Suddenly, the granola with milk I had this morning seems like a bad idea. I should have gone with something more substantial. Then maybe it wouldn’t feel like there is a churning vat of nerves in my stomach right now. Cade unbuckles his seatbelt and turns his body to face me.
I press the button on my own seatbelt. “I guess you want to talk.” I make a show of looking out the window at the deserted road leading to the only highway in Madison, not a car in sight. As a matter of fact, I don’t recall passing one on our way either.
“You deserve my full attention.”
Hello, soaked panties.
The fabric makes a sound when my bare thighs slide along the seat cushion to face Cade. If he’s giving me his full attention, the least I can do is give him mine.
“I … uh.” His confession starts out rough, his voice shy with a hint of a raspy quality to it. “I like you,” he tries again, the words spilling out in one breath.
To say I am completely shocked would be a lie. I knew he liked me in his own way. That’s not the issue. The issue is whether he likes me and my vagina, because there’s a distinct difference. One is called the friend zone and the other is called a boyfriend. Or fuckbuddy. I wouldn’t be opposed to either.
“I like you, too.” I say, watching his hands twist together in his lap. He’s nervous. And it’s causing me to have word vomit. “I really fucking like you.”
Cade’s laugh is low and rumbly. “I really fucking like you, too …” I feel a but coming on. “But I can’t be with you.” I feel my cheeks pull down into a frown as Cade hurries out, “Not that I don’t want to, because I do.” His tongue slips out, wetting his bottom lip before he bites down and releases it slowly, the motion looking incredibly sexy. “I really fucking do, Breck. I want you to know that.”
I nod like I understand, but I still don’t. What’s the issue? He wants to take my panties off, and I … well, I want to rip his boxers off with my teeth like a rabid dog.
“I’m sorry. I keep leading you on,” he says.
And now I want to attack him for another reason entirely. “Don’t talk to me like I’m some love-struck teenager.”
Cade’s jaw tics and his eyes narrow at my abruptness. Yeah, motherfucker, I have balls, too. Well, sort of. Never mind. You know what I mean. I straighten, allowing all the frustration of the past two weeks to bubble to the surface. I’m nobody’s plaything. “Look Cade, I get it. You have issues. Who doesn’t?” One of his eyebrows quirks up almost like he’s amused. “But you either want to fuck me or you don’t. It’s as simple as that. But all the closeness, hair washing, and subtle breathing down my neck is getting old.” The other eyebrow jumps. “I expect a man to know what he wants and go after it. Maybe that’s not you but—”
I don’t have time to brace myself before Cade’s hard body slams into mine. Hot and unyielding, he pushes me against the door, the handle digging into my back as his mouth attacks my neck first. Nipping and sucking, the mouth that has commanded dozens of men, growls against me. “You make me crazy,” he admits, placing open-mouthed kisses along my jaw, toward my lips but never getting close enough. “Every damn day, I’ve watched you. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve imagined shutting you up with something other than words.”
Huh. Coincidentally, that doesn’t offend me at all. I think I might like being silenced with some D.
His breathing turns harsher, and the hand on my hip tightens before unceremoniously yanking me underneath him. If his truck was a manual, I would swear the shifter was digging into my leg, but it’s not, and that’s totally his dick. I may have come from a pretentious family, but an uppity girl I am not. I grind into that steel rod between his legs like our lives depend on it. I claw at this man like I’m plummeting to my death and my nails against his sweat slicked t-shirt are my only hope. Basically, I am shameless as I dry hump this mountain of a man on the side of the road and I couldn’t give two shits what anyone thinks about it.
“We can’t do this here,” he pants out above me.
I’m not so fancy. “Sure we can,” I argue, pushing my opening along his length. His groan sounds utterly pained.
“You deserve better,” he manages. Honestly, I don’t care if he hits it in a dirty-ass bathroom, but I can’t necessarily say that, now can I?
“I don’t mind.” That doesn’t sound too whore-ish.
Cade takes a few breaths and lifts himself up, prying my hands off his shoulders. “We can pick it up at home.”
For the record, I only frown. I don’t kick or holler, “This is bullshit.” I simply turn the previous open-mouthed smile I had going into a hardcore frown and say, “Okay.”
Cade nods a few times like he’s trying to convince himself that this is the best idea. But inevitably, he starts the truck, turns the air on full-blast, and gives me his trademark chin jerk. “Put your seatbelt on.”
It’s good to know that, unlike most men, Cade can still think with the head on his shoulders when all the blood flow is mucking around in the head stuffed into his jeans. I do as he asks, and when I’m secure, he pulls onto the roadway in the opposite direction.
“What about the tux?” I don’t mention the dress because seriously, I have one I could wear.
“Fuck the tux,” he growls, gripping the steering wheel for support. I’m, if nothing else, a team player. So what do I respond with that has Cade stepping on the gas harder?
“Ooh-rah, Major.”