Winding down the mountain roads with the windows down in Cade’s truck feels a lot like riding a roller coaster, except Cade is driving so slowly that we may never reach our destination—a big fat secret he won’t tell me. All I know is we’re headed into the North Georgia Mountains, this horrifically long road the only route there.
“You know, babe, if you went over twenty-five miles an hour we may actually get there this weekend.”
Cade clutches the steering wheel like at any moment a bear will dart out in front of us and he’ll have to fast and furious it out of the way. I’m not complaining because the motion causes the muscles in his forearms to flex, and well, I can appreciate that view for the next few hours.
“How about you get your feet off the dash and let me drive?” He cuts his eyes to my freshly painted toes wiggling against his leather-wrapped dash.
“Why do I have to put my feet down? Do my feet stink?”
His jaw tics as he tries to hold back a grin. The three-day scruff he’s rocking is so sexy when he pairs it with an annoyed facial expression. If I have to piss him off this entire ride to ensure that jaw and scruff are between my legs upon arrival, then so be it. I’ll take one for the team.
“No, your feet do not stink. However, if I were to have a wreck, your legs would be obliterated.”
Ugh. Sometimes I find his protectiveness cute. Right now, not so much. I did not shave my legs and paint my toes this awesome shade of pink to match my lip gloss for him not to notice. At this angle, I totally look like I could have a thigh gap.
“I’ll take my chances, Commander.”
“I wasn’t asking, Private Brannon.”
Fine. He’s going to be a hard-ass today. I can already feel it.
“I hope you’re not going to be grouchy this weekend. It’s our first trip together. Get excited, Cade!”
“I am excited. I just want you to arrive in one piece.” He trails a cursory glance down my legs which don’t look nearly as sexy on the floorboard. “Sexy-ass legs and all.”
Okay, so that comment made it worth the two hours in the bathroom this morning.
“Since you put it like that, I guess I can behave for another forty-eight hours.”
A laugh bubbles out of him. “I am not driving that slow. We should be there in another hour.” Immediately, I call him on his bullshit estimation by arching a brow. He shakes his head with a chuckle and amends, “Hour and a half. Tops.” By some miracle, he takes one hand off the wheel and makes the sign of the cross on his chest, bumping his dog tags in the process.
About three months ago, he walked out of the bathroom with them hanging around his neck. I didn’t acknowledge them at the time because I knew he didn’t want me to. Instead, I ran to Anniston and shared the news. Together, on the floor of her office, we cried tears of joy. And that night, when Cade and I crawled into bed, I wrapped them in my hands and moved on top of him until he heard every silent word through the movement of my hips.
I loved him.
And I was so very proud of him.
“Well, at least let me find something better to listen to on the radio,” I argue, already pressing buttons on the stereo before he can object.
“What? So now you don’t like the classics?”
“No, I just want to listen to something a little more upbeat and happy. This classic country, as you call it, is wearing me down with all the whining. Do they ever end up happily ever after?”
Cade purses his lips as I find a local pop station. The Lumineers bang out a catchy tune I’ve heard a million times so I immediately start to sing it. The music pulses through the speakers and my body sways as I clap along with song.
“Sing with me, Jameson!”
I try pulling at his hand, but Mr. Responsible is not having it, and keeps them secured on the wheel. He gives me a raspy, “Ho Hey,” along with the song and it goes straight to my nether regions, making me feel like I want to be very naughty on this back road to nowhere. Unbuckling my seatbelt, I shuffle across the bench seat, sliding up next to his cool body, where he has the air conditioning vent blowing directly on him, which makes no sense with the windows down. I close it because I have on shorts, and no one told him to dress in cargo pants and a t-shirt in ninety-eight-degree weather. Mountains or not, it’s still hotter than the seventh circle of hell with Georgia’s humidity.
“Don’t even play. Get back to your side and put your seatbelt on.”
I’m going to tell you my secret to get what you want with Commander Jameson.
Defiance.
“Make me.”
The low growl he emits carries over the tambourines of the happy song and immediately takes the atmosphere from carefree to intense. Just like I’d hoped. My fingers work at his zipper, pulling and tugging. He’s not even helping me a little bit, but that’s okay. I’m a pro at pulling Jameson Jr. out of his cargo pants. I’ve had tons of practice since we’ve moved in together.
“You’re going to make me wreck.”
Bull. I’ve done this before. For some reason, he’s playing hard to get today.
“Then I suggest you focus.”
His voice cracks when I slide his hardened length past my teeth. “Come on, B. Just wait until we get to the cabin,” he pleads.
So we’re headed to a cabin. He’s been tighter than a frog’s ass about where we’re going for the weekend. Hell, they all have. I tried bribing Theo with chocolate chip cookies, his favorite, but he wouldn’t budge. This is going down in the Jameson manual under information extraction.
Tongue flat against the prominent vein, I force every bit I can take of him down my throat until the tears prick my eyes. And then I suck. Up and down, I pull random grunts and groans until the truck veers off the road and comes to a stop.
Uh oh.
I’m trying to keep the rhythm, but when he reaches between us and unlatches his seatbelt, I falter. The victorious grin I’ve tried to keep under wraps emerges triumphantly.
“Apparently, you need something to settle down.” Cade pulls me up, my lips making a popping sound as I release him.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Countering him when I lick my lips may have been the final straw because before I know it, he shoves me to my back, pops the button on my shorts, and pulls them down, leaving them dangling on one leg. Too tall to lie on top of me, Cade settles on one knee and then with a jerk that steals my breath, he lines up with my entrance.
“I’m going to fuck you hard and fast,” he warns, giving himself a few strokes.
“Good,” I taunt him further, locking gazes with those emerald eyes. “I like it when you’re rough.”
His nostrils flare, and I’m ready when he pushes forward, never warning me again.
True to his word, he fucks me fast and hard on some back road in the middle of nowhere. Sweat drips down his forehead, running along the hard lines of his neck until they reach his t-shirt and stop. His dog tags jingle with every thrust, almost like they’re part of the music still playing on the radio. Sitting up, I wrap my legs around him and pull him closer, encouraging him to go harder. The strain in his face is evident. He’s close. So am I, for that matter, but I want to hear it before I take him with me.
Between pants, I whisper, “Ask me.”
His eyes close and his breathing turns shallow until he opens his eyes again. Green eyes that have witnessed death and destruction look at me with reverence as he says, “Can I offer you a ride home?”
For all the women who think the only declaration of love is in the form of three words, let me tell you that knowing someone loves you comes in many forms. I may not be normal. Cade may not be normal. But what we have is real, and him asking me if he can give me a ride home says everything it needs to say. He loves me.
“I am home,” I return before everything clenches inside me, and we both tip over the edge of sanity, clutched in each other’s arms.
We’re cleaned up and back on the road in no time. Cade seems a little more relaxed than he was so I’ll take that as a win. As for me, I’m secured in a seatbelt, far enough away from Cade that I won’t be too much a distraction for the duration of the trip.
“Are we there yet?” I tease.
“Hush. Listen to your boy bands.”
Scowling, I rifle through my purse and find my phone for something to do. My hand grazes the bottle of meds Anniston gave me for an emergency. I have to admit I’m nervous about being alone with Cade during the fourth of July. I know fireworks bother him even though he says he will be fine. Anniston gave me a rundown on what to do if he has an episode, along with some sedatives. I tried to argue that we should take this trip at another time so he’s in a place he’s comfortable, but he wouldn’t hear it.
I place my thumb on the phone and bring up the home screen—a picture of Cade and me. I’m covering his eyes as I lead him into the house which was insanely decorated for his birthday we did several weeks after the fact. But what’s so memorable about that moment was his smile. It was the brightest I had ever seen it. That day, surrounded by his friends and family, he was genuinely happy.
Two texts messages flash on the screen, one from Anniston and one from Theo.
Ans: Have fun! I can’t wait to hear all about it.
Gah, I love her. I know I was hellbent on hating her, but after getting to know her, I fell for her just like the guys. Once I got past her layers, she’s become a really great friend to me.
Theo’s text makes me laugh. Obviously, it was intended more for Cade so I read it aloud.
“Theo texted.” Cade rolls his eyes but is already grinning. “He says, and I quote, ‘Tell Jameson I noticed he didn’t pack enough condoms so I put an extra box in his bag. I’ll be disappointed if he doesn’t use them all. I didn’t raise a quitter! You know I always got your back, B. You’re welcome.’”
We both laugh out loud into the cab of the truck, now that Cade rolled the windows up, claiming we needed to cool off before we ended up just going back home and fucking all weekend. Honestly, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea at all.
Laying my head back, the cool air blowing through my hair—it probably looks a mess but I don’t care—along this winding road, feels like heaven with Cade by my side.
Apparently heaven also felt like sleep because when I wake up, Cade is poking me in the side. “Now she’s quiet,” he says, all cute and taunting. “Come on. I want to show you something.”
I check for drool and climb out when he opens the door. “What year is it?” I tease.
“Ha ha. You’re hilarious.” He tugs me to his side and wraps one of those beefy arms around my shoulders. “Have you ever went panning for gold?”
I hope the look on my face does not reflect what I’m thinking, because what the fuck? What does he take me for—a coal miner’s daughter? “No, I can’t say that I have.”
He chuckles, clearly reading into my meaning. “Well, you can’t come to Dahlonega without trying it.”
Where the hell is Dahlonega?
“Whatever floats your boat, Jameson.”
Inside the cabin-like building along the river, Cade buys us a few bags of dirt which seems silly but whatever. “I thought we would be digging for gold. What is this?” I flip the bag of dirt over in my hand, trying to see if I have anything more than mud in it.
“Do you want to dig in the dirt?” He points to my nails. “I hear it’s great for the cuticles.”
I scowl at his awful sense of humor and follow a troll-like man to what looks like a huge trough. “Smartass.”
Cade shrugs, grabbing my hand before the guy tells us what to do. Basically, pour your bag of dirt into this thing that looks like a sand strainer, and see what you get. I’m sure it’s rigged but I have to admit, I’ve never done anything like this before and it’s kind of exciting.
“Let me know if you need anything,” troll-man says, slinking off behind his counter.
Cade thanks him and opens one of our bags of dirt. “So, you know what to do, right?”
I nod. “Pour, sift, and scream if I find gold.”
He makes this soft noise and corrects me. “Maybe not scream. You don’t want to scare the other guests.”
My face scrunches as I look around the empty cabin, “What other patrons? It’s just us.”
Cade looks around too and shrugs. “Maybe it’s the off season?” It’s Fourth of July weekend. I would think they would be busy, but what do I know, I’m no travel agent. I let it go and focus on finding gold. Cade seems intently focused on his dirt, so I try to get to work, carefully sifting out the dirt in the trough water for any gems that may be hiding underneath.
When I turn up empty-handed and Cade has three flakes of gold, I’m pissed. “I got a bad batch,” I pout.
He chuckles and hands over his sifter. “Try mine. I seem to be having good luck today.”
He comes around and stands behind me, placing his hands on the sifter, helping me sift the dirt.
I’m combing through every grain of dirt when I spot gold. “Gold! I found gold!” Acting like I just struck oil, I bounce up and down as Cade chuckles behind me. Carefully, I clean off the mud. I see more, and it’s in the shape of … “Oh my gosh.”
Cade lets go of me, taking the ring from the sifter, and eases down to a knee. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life.” He pulls in a ragged breath and gives me a gentle smile. “You will not be one of them, Brecklyn Brannon.”
There’s no point in stopping the tears. They’re coming whether I want them to or not.
“I don’t know why you have no self-preservation and love me.”
Oh hell. I drop to my knees, against his protests, and place my hands on each side of his face. I want to remember every single second of this moment. I want to remember the almost tears that well along the bottom of his eyes. I want to remember his hands shaking on mine. And most of all, I want to remember the way he is looking at me. Like he can’t imagine ever loving me as much as he does right now.
“I love you with everything that I am and everything I hope to be. I’m not perfect, Breck. I’m flawed and damaged beyond what is repairable. I’m going to piss you off and probably let you down eventually, but Breck …”
With his thumb, he wipes away the tears along my cheek. “I will never betray you or forsake you. I promise to love you and protect you until my very last breath.”
A hiccup escapes me as he seals our fate with one last declaration. “I feel like I should tell you that you could do so much better than me, but I’m selfish and I’m begging you to marry me instead so I’ll never have to live a day without you.”
I silence the rest of his proposal by kissing the ever-loving shit out of this man. I kiss him so hard he loses his balance and has to stick his hands out behind him so we don’t fall on our asses. I kiss him like there’s not a weird looking little man watching us.
I kiss him like it’s our forever.
Back at the cabin Cade rented for the weekend, we’re naked—of course—under a blanket, staring at the night sky. Fireworks are going off every few seconds, lighting up the sky in vivid colors of the rainbow. I tried to get Cade to go inside when the first one went off and he tensed up behind me, but he refused, claiming the mountains have the most beautiful skies. So we stayed, wrapped in each other’s arms as the rest of the country celebrates.
“How are you feeling?” I ask.
He slides his mother’s ring back and forth on my finger, and then places the softest kiss to my cheek and says, “Like I’m free.”