I KNEW MY jealousy was going to get the best of me some day when it came to Jay and Tyler. But when he kissed her, actually fucking kissed her and she didn’t push him away? All bets were off, and I lost it.
When my fists landed against his face, it was unnerving how much I enjoyed it. How good it felt to get out all of the frustration and pent-up anger that had been building up inside of me for the past couple of weeks.
I needed to fight. Go to war. Have the angriest fucking sex ever. I didn’t care. But I needed something. I had an itch that needed scratching. Watching Jay walk away from me made me pissed as hell, but it turned me on.
The words that left my mouth were downright mean and uncalled for but seeing Tyler kiss my girlfriend set something off inside of me. Even though it had been him who started it, I could sense that she enjoyed it. I didn’t know how. I didn’t know why. But I prayed with everything in me to whoever was paying attention that it was for closure and nothing more.
I didn’t like losing control. It didn’t sit well with me and made me sick to my stomach. Jay had taught me to love and when I saw another man’s lips on hers, that darkness inside of me rejoiced that it could finally come out and play.
Jay pushed open the door to her bedroom . It brought me back to the first time so many months ago. She had left Max’s gallery, hot and bothered. I followed her. Fucked her. And fell in love.
But now, this had nothing to do with love, did it?
Jay stomped to her dresser, pulled open a drawer, and slammed it shut. She laughed, turning toward me. “I can’t believe you accused me … No, wait. Yes, I can.”
And here we go. My jaw clenched, but I didn’t say anything.
“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that Tyler and I are over. But your jealousy can’t see that. It’s one thing for him to not believe me because he’s a possessive asshole but you?” She shook her head, her eyes shining. “I love you. I’m in love with you. I’ve agreed to marry you.” Her face paled.
I frowned. “Jay?”
She shook her head, swallowing excessively before the color came back into her cheeks. “How can we get married if you don’t trust me?”
“I do trust you,” I muttered, shoving my hands into the pockets of my jeans.
“Do you? Do you really? Tyler kissed me. Did I enjoy it? Yes.”
A growl rumbled from the back of my throat.
“Before you get all Alpha male on me, I enjoyed it because I knew it was officially over. I felt nothing, Angel. Nothing at all. You have to believe me.”
I did. But I couldn’t get the image of his mouth on hers out of my head. “He needs to stay away.”
“He has nothing to do with this.” She took a step toward me. “You have to believe me. I’m in love with you, Angel. My King. I can’t … God, you make me an emotional wreck because I worry every damn day that you’ll leave me.”
My chest constricted at her confession. “Why would you think that?” I closed the distance between us, cupping her face. “I love you. You’ve taught me to love, princess. My Queen.” My throat tightened. “I love you. I’ve been in love with you since the first time I heard your voice. Since the first time you called me an asshole. No woman has gotten under my skin like you have. You are the better part of me. The only part I want.”
“Why aren’t we getting along then?” A lonely tear rolled down her cheek.
I wiped it away with my thumb, kissing her gently on the mouth. “All of this shit with Charles Brian and his fucking band of bastards, Tyler and his possession of you … It’s stressing us the fuck out. We shouldn’t take it out on each other.”
“Then why are we?” she whispered.
I had no idea how to answer that.
Growing up, I had a hard time believing in love and a higher power. Even being in the Navy made it hard to remain positive. How could a God let these things happen? To make us stronger? To help us grow? I didn’t know the answers, but I did know that with Jay by my side, I could get through anything. We would bring Charles down. We would succeed in bringing not only him down, but the whole operation. With the help of her sisters and my brothers, we would end this evil entity that had taken over our town. We had become a family. Of course, with Dale and Max not talking, the sexual tension rising between Asher and Meeka, their issues were distracting.
“I’m sorry,” I finally said. “I’m sorry for accusing you of wanting Tyler in your life still.”
“I’ll talk to my dad. He’s the president. Maybe he’s grown some balls and can put Tyler in his place.” She sighed, running a hand through her hair before pulling it up into a messy bun. “I …”
“What?” She had stepped out of my hold, but I still touched her. My fingers moved of their own accord. Running down her cheek. Over her jawline. Her full mouth. Her throat. I couldn’t stop touching her. She was my life. My strength. She was soft where I was rough. Even though an apology had been said, it still wasn’t enough. They were only words. I needed to show her that I meant what I said. That I did love her. That I did want to spend the rest of my life with her.
“I … I think I need to stay away for a little bit.”
“What the ever loving fuck?” I snapped, pushing her back and forcing her to look at me.
“Don’t.” She shoved out of my grip. “Don’t you dare put your hands on me like him.”
Shit. “Don’t fucking compare me to him,” I countered.
“What the hell is wrong with us, Angel?” she yelled, pushing me. “We go from fighting to confessing our love to each other, back to fighting again. I can’t do this. Not with you. Not with us. I need you, but I don’t need your alpha male bullshit.”
I shook my head. “My alpha comes out because of him. Tyler. That fucking bastard starts this every single time we see him. He puts these thoughts into our heads like a mind-fuck, and I can’t get them out.”
“And whose fault is that, Angel?” Jay leaned against her dresser, gripping the edge with her hands until her knuckles turned white. “I can’t do this.” Her voice wavered. “I’m tired. I’m so damn tired of us fighting.”
Sitting on the edge of her bed, I dropped my head in my hands. I didn’t know what to do or how to make it better. Tyler succeeded in tearing us apart.
“I love you,” I muttered. “But I don’t know how to fix this.”
“I think we need some time apart,” she mumbled. “We fell into this too fast.”
“You can’t stand there and tell me that this wasn’t meant to be. You are the one who convinced me that there is such a thing as love and a happily ever after.” I couldn’t take her doubting my love for her.
“Well, maybe it isn’t worth it.”
My head snapped up. Before I could comprehend what I was doing, I was standing in front of her.
Her eyes widened, taking on that shine I had come to know so well. “What are you going to do?” she asked, her voice shaking.
If I was a gentleman, I would leave her alone. I would give her some space like she had asked. But I wasn’t. I was the man she loved with a monster inside of me she loved even more.
***
(Jay)
When Angel charged for me, I was expecting him to throw me over his shoulder and demand I stay. I ran. I always ran. Even when we first got together, I ran. I was terrified he would leave me like my mother and sister had. But when Violet came back, when she was saved from the hands of Hell, Angel was right there by my side. So why the fuck couldn’t we go back to that point in time?
“What are you going to do, Angel?” I repeated, staring up at him. I noticed for the first time in weeks that he had bags under his eyes, a peppering of grey showed through the smattering of scruff on his strong jaw. Stress had aged him. Me. His job. Tyler. Me. I leaned my head against his chest, breathing in the scent I had begun to crave months before. “Angel—”
Rough hands spun me, shoving me hard against the dresser. I let out an oomph at the unexpected movement.
“Look at us,” Angel growled, his fingers twisting in my hair. He pulled my head back, his lower body pushing into mine. “Look.”
My gaze followed his, landing on our reflection in the mirror. His eyes were dark, cold. Angry. His large body loomed over mine, grinding into me until all I felt was him. Everywhere. Every single inch. Every curve of his muscles. Every throbbing vein.
“You see us?”
His voice took on a darkness I had never heard from him before. And as much as it shouldn’t have, it turned me on.
“Yes,” I whispered, my mouth going dry.
“Look into my eyes,” he demanded, wrapping his other hand around my throat. “Tell me I don’t love you. Tell me you want this to end.”
“I …”
“Tell me.”
“No!” I cried, pushing back against him.
Sliding his hand down into the vee of my t-shirt, he pulled it lower. The red lace of my bra peaked out, taunting him.
“Tell me you don’t love me.” With both hands, he ripped my shirt in half.
A gasp left me, a flutter of heat warming my lower belly. “I love you.”
“Tell me you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with me.” Angel’s hands reached my hips, his fingers digging into the flesh of my ass. “Tell me you hate me.”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Fucking tell me.” With a roughness I craved, he pulled my leather pants down to my ankles. Kicking my legs apart, he reached between us.
My breathing sped up. Sex didn’t solve anything. I knew that. But I didn’t care. It would make us feel better. We both knew it. It was how we were wired. We fought. We loved. We fucked.
“Tell me you hate me,” he snarled in my ear. A zipper sounded, sending a wave of desire racing through me. “Mmmm … my dirty princess wants me to fucking play.”
“Yes,” I moaned.
“Tell me you love me.” Angel hooked a finger in the string of my thong, shoving it to the side. “Tell me.”
“I—” A cry left me when he thrust into me so hard, my feet rose from the floor. “Yes! I love you. I love you. God, Angel.”
“Tell me,” he bellowed, gripping my ripped shirt and holding my lower body with his thick thighs. His powerful thrusts didn’t let up. He didn’t let me get used to this new dangerous side of him. He didn’t let me do anything, and I loved every single moment of it.
I cried out. I screamed. I cursed. But I loved him even more. All of the words that were said and passed between us. All of the pain and heartache . He was my man. My fiancé. The love of my life. We had issues. We had problems. But we were real. Our love … was real.
“Fuck, Jay.” His hand inched up to my throat, his other arm wrapping around my middle. “Tell me.”
“I love you,” I whimpered, holding onto the dresser.
“Tell me you don’t love him.”
I knew that was coming.
Something had changed in Angel when Tyler kissed me. A dark, possessive man took over. I had never seen it before in him but I understood. If I saw a woman kissing Angel, I would have reacted the same way.
“I don’t love him,” I told Angel. “I don’t.”
Angel pushed into me, his thrusts bordering on violent. A powerful force took over when I said those words. It was like a weight had been lifted. He knew I didn’t love Tyler anymore but with everything that had happened, he needed to be sure. He needed to hear me say it.
“Fucking right you don’t.” Angel brushed his nose up the length of my neck, a small smirk spreading on his lips. “You’re mine, princess. Remember that the next time he kisses you.”